The Illustrious Ivy League
1. How many Princeton students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two---one to mix the martinis and one to call the
electrician.
2. How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Eleven---one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the
experience.
3. How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None---Hanover doesn't have electricity.
4. How many Cornell students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two---One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the
pressure.
5. How many Penn students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but he gets six credits for it.
6. How many Columbia students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seventy-six---one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the
lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a
counter-protest.
7. How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None---New Haven looks better in the dark.
8. How many Harvard students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One---he holds the bulb and the world revolves around
him.