Chapter 12 Justin walked in the front door of his house. With one hand carrying a suitcase, the other hand linked with Brittni's. She took in the sent of the house and smiled, God had she missed being home. "JC, were back!" Justin called out into the quiet house. Soon after, JC and Trinity came running out of the living room. "Britt! Welcome home sweetie!" JC said picking her up into a hug. Pulled her away. "God girl, you look so good! I never knew how much two weeks could help a person." "Believe me, it does." Brittni said looking over at Trinity. "Hey Brittni, i'm glad your back." She said. "Thanks T. Oh it feels good to be home. Tell me, where are my babies?" "Taylor was in the living room with us, and Kenzie said that she was really tired, so she went for a nap." Jc answered. "Ok, thanks for looking after them Jayce." Brittni said and ran into the living room to see Taylor. Justin smiled at his wife as he followed her. He couldn't believe how much of a change he could already see in her. He was grateful for that. He had missed seeing her this way. Happy, full of life, not a worry in the world. Later that night, Justin and Brittni were getting ready for bed, and Justin was helping Brittni finish unpacking the rest of her things. He picked up two shirts, which were the last things remaining in her suitcase. He walked over to the large walk-in closet to hang them up. He put the one away, and as he was unfolding the other one, a small journal fell out. Bending over to pick it up, his curiosity got the best of him, and he read it. It was a diary Brittni had been writing in since the first day of rehab. He skimmed through the first few pages and then stopped at a page that seemed to have more interesting information in it. It read: Well today is the one week mark of being in this place. When I first came here, I thought I would have hated it. Man was I wrong! The people her are beyond amazing, full of life, full of support. They're all making me feel so much better about myself. It's almost like i'm a whole new me. I talked to Justin today, boy was it good to hear his voice. Bless his heart, I hate knowing that i've put him through so much. He tells me that he's fine, but he knows that I can see through that. I can even hear it in his voice that's he's hurting. I just hope that he doesn't think that this is all his fault, but knowing him, he probably does. I wish that he wouldn't be so hard on himself every time something goes wrong with me. I love him so much, and it hurts me to see him hurting. I asked about K and Tay, he said their doing fine. I even talked to K, she's so cute, but she made me cry telling me how much she missed me and wanted me to be home. I miss seeing her, and to hear her say that, made my day, but saddened it a bit knowing that I wasn't able to go back home yet. The doctor's have said that, to help with some of the depression that i've been feeling, it's good to write it all down, and get it all out, instead of having it build up inside, and also if I wanted, I could talk to a therapist. So I did today. She was a real sweetie. I told her about everything, from beginning to end. Including..Amanda...it was breaking my heart talking about all that she's done to our family, but it made me feel better having it out in the open. She told me that I was still feeling alot of anger towards her, and again, I was told to somehow get my feelings out. Ha ha, they sure want you to do that alot in this place. So here it goes.... Ever since Amanda had first some into our lives three years ago, i've had this feeling inside of me, that, although she had been taken away, something wasnt right. I knew that, no matter what, it was like, the score wasn't settled, and something else was going to happen, and here it is. The stalking, the phone calls, everything, I know it's because of her. I never told Justin about any of my feelings, and knowing that all this was because of her. I don't even know if he thinks the same as I do. I was just afraid that if I told him, he would try doing something about it. I don't even know what. All I wanted was for everything to be perfect again. Although somehow I knew it wouldn't be. Lord only knows how much he tries to do everything in his power to help and stop it all, and I just didn't want him getting all involved in all my problems, espcially since I felt like I was the one to blame. I can't even figure out for myself why I was feeling the way I was, I didn't need Justin trying for me. I guess that's just the thing. Being depressed makes a person do weird things. Which is exactly why I turned out the way I did. After "she" had been taken to the mental ward of that hospital, even though, like I said, I didn't feel as though everything was right again, it still felt alot better. Almost as if everything was perfect again...perfect..until you came back Amanda....until you came back...

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