Author: Stinkerbell
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG
Summary: What would it be like to be Voldemort's roommate?
E-mail: aocoats@yahoo.com
Homepage: http://www.oocities.org/aocoats
Ff.n page: Stinkerbell
But much more of this I simply can't take
A hundred pounds a week is a bargain
But living with you is a constant headache
I squelched the desire to kill you
When you stole all my unicorn blood
But food in the fridge isn't free for the taking
(And please throw out your moldy old crud!)
And while we're at the subject
I'll remind you that that's my case of beer
With all the food that goes missing, I wonder:
Is "BELONGS TO VOLDEMORT" somehow unclear?
And I'm sorry that my precious Nagini
Gobbled up your two cats in one bite
But she was tired of salted linguini
And wanted a dinner that'd put up a fight
And you really do hurt my feelings
When you constantly say that I reek
I told you it's a metabolic disorder
I can't help that I'm undead and thus stink
And when I asked you to proofread
My memoirs, titled Give Evil a Chance,
You laughed at all the wrong parts
Then called it pompous, egoistical rant
And I'll admit that killing your mother
Was retaliation a bit too extreme
But my therapist says it's not my fault
I've just got low self-esteem
And those jokes are no longer funny
(I've told you before I'm not gay)
Yes, Lucius and I are close friends
But we've never shared a roll in the hay
(Okay, so there was that one time -
And I'd thank you to knock, my dear sir -
But we were both drunken and lonely
And feeling a bit insecure)
So I'm sure you think me quite whiny
To have indulge in this tiresome gush
So I'll only ask you one last question
When oh when will you learn to flush?
