Name: Voldemort's Mum Author: METMA Mandy Genre: Humor Rating: G Summary: This is what Voldie's mum would tell him if she was alive... E-mail: Leven5@aol.com Homepage: http://www.oocities.org/metmamandy Ff.n page: METMA Mandy

Voldemort's Mum

Tho-MAS!!! (A/N: That was a very SHRILL Thomas) Honey, you look absolutely terrible! Your eyes are red, dear, you need to go see a doctor! Red eye is VERY contagious! Here, have some chicken soup! And Tommy, what HAVE you been eating? You're thin! Growing boys need nourishment! Unicorn blood doesn't have enough vitamins. You need to start eating more healthy blood, like whale, or dolphin! Even cow blood would put some meat on your bones! Oh, and Tommy? You need to CLEAN UP after you kill and destroy! I thought I taught you never to leave a mess, and now you are completely disobeying me! You know better, young man! Go clean up that rubble immediately! Tommy, Mommy's baking today, so you and your little Death Eater friends need to go OUTSIDE to torment the cat. And please try to stay away from my roses. They don't need blood and cuts thrown all over them today! Now BE GOOD! Tommy, honey, I don't like your new nickname. I named you Thomas Marvolo Riddle for a reason, dear, and I don't think Lord Voldemort is very nice. You have a darling name, baby, don't hide it! Oh, and Tommy? Please wash your hands before you kill. Bacteria is perfectly revolting! We don't want you getting sick, now do we? And those blood stains are terribly hard to get out! I don't want to have to do your laundry more than once a week, honey, so keep those robes clean! TOMMY! It's 9:15, long past your bedtime! Those Muggles will be there in the morning to torture, treasure, but now you need to go to sleep! Growing boys need their rest!