Amitie Part 2
“Ruka. So you’re-awake then. I thought I would see how you were doing.”
He inclined his head slightly then noticed that...something didn't seem quite right. He couldn't pin point it though. It was something significant too. Juri drew closer to him and he kept his dark eyes fixated on her form. She was like a goddess, like Diana, the huntress...or Athena, yes, she was more like Athena he thought. She sat and his eyes remained on her...on...
Ruka's eyes widened. The rose.
She wore her rose still and unless she had left in the middle of a duel to say hello...then...she had won. He felt a thrill rush through him, pride for his student, pride that she had gained the strength within herself to defeat Tenjou. His eyes remained fixated on the orange petaled rose on her breast, not noticing that Juri was irritated as to where his eyes dwelled. At last understanding she removed it. His eyes were still wide. Her rose was intact. She could get her miracle though perhaps she had already received it...perhaps she could work another miracle...one for him. Juri smiled and a faint one touched his lips. If he had had the strength he would have smiled broadly, embraced her daring her wrath for such an impulsive move...
He looked at the petals as she leaned forward and brought them close to him. The smell of the rose was refreshing compared to the smell of medicines, of sterilized objects and metal, of latex. It was like being outside again.
Juri hesitated though and his brow furrowed. Why did she pause? What was wrong? Part of his mind found it wholly ironic that he was the one laying there dying yet he would still worry for her. At least she had won...he would do his best to stay alive...to see her remain the champion of the duels. He had every confidence that she would win.
Still...she was disturblingly quiet, the sound of the machines that monitored him the only thing really adding to the atmosphere of sound. Juri leaned back in the seat at last, the rose still in her hands. He rather did hope she would leave it with him. There was nothing worth watching on television...it would give him something to look at, to think about.
“I should get some water for it.” She said at last, her tone still a little shakey. Perhaps he would not press her about it...she had just won, they should focus on that.
“How are you feeling?” she asked at last. Ah the dreaded question that everyone asked. At least she didn't ask it in the same way that the nurses did in their annoying tones using a plural pronoun. Idiots sometimes, all of them. He did his best to shrug his shoulders nonchalantly and look at her confidently.
"About the same really," he said with an attempt at a cocky grin, "I would tell you better but I know how you see through my lies. But that is only my body...to see that you have won...that you defeated her, Juri," he nodded his head and looked at her almost stoically, proudly, "I am proud of you, truly. I could not have asked for something better to happen to you."
"Ne, I suppose you have the Rose Bride to tend to now don't you?" He asked. He wanted to get away from the subject of his health. He had answered her question and there really wasn't anything that she needed to know...there wasn't anything that had really changed. "Try not to be too cold to her, she is only a whisp of a thing," a deceitful one like her brother but then...perhaps...he had not gone completly back on his word. Juri was the duelist champion now..."Bring her by if you like, I have a message for her to give to her devil brother actually and not words for you to hear," he added the last part quickly as she opened her mouth to protest.
Another pause...more mechanical sounds.
"So..." he smiled at her again, "Are you going to find water for the rose or not? It would be a shame for it to whither and fade by neglect."
Juri’s eyes were hopeful, maybe something had changed. "About the same really." A foolish thing to wish for, that he would improve. "I would tell you better but I know how you see through my lies.” As she saw through his, always the two of them like mirrors for the other, revealing truths and stripping bare secrets darkly locked away. “ But that is only my body...” Only? Already he dismissed it so easily. But perhaps her win would inspire something like hope. “…to see that you have won...that you defeated her, Juri." He looked so pleased, at least she had brightened his dire existance in the hospital a bit by the news, if she could not do more. "I am proud of you, truly. I could not have asked for something better to happen to you." She wanted to smile at his words, but part of her wanted to scream rebelliously. How? How was this better? Was it worth all her struggle, internally more taxing than any sword fight could have been? Was it worth his as well? Shiori, Ruka….dying or dead to her, in one way or another, slowly, painfully she was loosing the things that rooted her , defined her. How can it be so wonderful, to loose everything, all for the sake of that eerie girl and her dead tomb like eyes?
"Ne, I suppose you have the Rose Bride to tend to now don't you?" And now he had to bring her up. She tried not to glower too visably, but something in her statement must have given her distaste away for he quickly added, "Try not to be too cold to her, she is only a whisp of a thing.” What? Did he expect she would beat the Bride as that lunatic Saionji had? Of course she would treat her well. “Bring her by if you like…” Juri frowned deeply, she did not like and wouldn’t think of bringing her to him while he was so ill. “I have a message for her to give to her devil brother actually and not words for you to hear.".
Juri watched his eyes a moment, her own widened with surprise, trying to decipher what he could possibly say to the demon he could not voice in front of her. But his the depths of his ocean colored eyes were unyielding as the sea itself and she could not extract an answer from them. She nodded grudgingly.
. "So...Are you going to find water for the rose or not? It would be a shame for it to whither and fade by neglect."
Juri’s gaze landed a moment on his face, He smiled brightly again, trying to pierce the somber mood. Heavens he shouldn’t be taking on the duty of trying to cheer her up on top of his own problems, he was so very thin…. “It won’t,” she said firmly. “I’ll get something for it now.” If it faded, it would not be from neglect, she would see to that. “I’ll be right back.” She tried to smile encouragingly but the gesture seemed foreign to her face, and she knew it didn’t look right.
Disappearing a moment into the bathroom, she hunted around for some vessel to hold the water…ah cups. Turning on the tap, she touched her finger to the running stream to test the temperature. Too cold. Much too cold.
Bracing her other hand on the sink, she started at her reflection, clutching the rose still as if it were a lifeline. She let out her breath slowly. If she were going to do it, now would be the time, would it not? It would seem a very natural thing to ask, now that she had won the Bride. Speaking it any other time would seem horribly awkward and out of place. The water was lukewarm now, so it wouldn’t freeze the petals from the rose. Filling the paper cup -- this wouldn’t do at all, she’d have to find something better but it would suffice for the moment - she set the rose in the water and slowly made her way back to the chair, careful not to spill anything or drop the rose. A juggling act to keep the large blossom balanced in the tiny cup by she managed. Ruka had been staring at the machinary…that was morbid, wasn’t it, putting it where he could see it? The should do a better job keeping his mind from it. But the room did not even have a window, and with no fresh air it truly seemed a sterile dungeon.
“Much better,” she said, smiling with some relief as she set the cup down on the table. Settling herself once again into the hideous looking vinyl chair… they didn’t put much thought into these hospital rooms, did they? - she focused her attention back on Ruka.
“I have been meaning to ask you,” she said, the smile fading from her lips, her voice serious. “When you came back to school, before, it seemed at least to me you had a very defined purpose going into the duel you fought and the one I fought. I had wondered…” how had she phrased this in her head when she first thought to ask him? “What hopes had you entrusted to the power of miracles?” She leaned forward slightly in her seat, watching his face, but his eyes were focused on the rose. “And who were they for?” She half dreaded the answers to these questions but she knew she had to have tbem. He still would not meet her eyes. Tentatively she reached out and touched her fingertips to the back of his hand, and could nearly feely the jolt go through him. Cold, his skin like ice to her fingertips. He hadn’t been expecting that, and instinctively he looked at her as she did so. Since he hadn’t pulled away she allowed her hand to rest more fully over his as she went on, “I ask because” - she would never have peace without the answers - “now that I am Victor perhaps I can do something about those hopes. But I can do nothing if I do not know of them.” What miracle was it that he wanted? Was it one she could grant, even with the power of miracles?
Utena weaved her way slowly back to the Tower….she didn’t want to face Akio-san. What would she tell hin? Oops I lost your sister in a duel, she won’t be coming back tonight? Her cheeks burned at the thought. This was all wrong. How could this happen, after so long, she could hardly believe it… the night seemed very empty without returning with Himemiya.
She cared for her so much. Why hadn’t she….why hadn’t she helped her? Blessed the sword or caught her, as she had done before, but no she just left here there for Juri-sempai to impale…but that wasn’t fair either, Utena had sworn herself to protect her, and now she had failed. She was sure Juri-san wouldn’t make a mistake, but she was equally sure that the woman would never try to watch out for or befriend Himemiya. Utena smiled sadly, well maybe she was the smart one after all, huh.
Smart but was that all that counted? What about being honorable, what about being noble?
Utena swallowed against the lump on her throat as she came to the base of the tower. Well how noble was she now? She had cheated on her prince, but Akio-san seemed so much her prince. Was he? Wasn’t he. It was all too much and she knew she coulnd’t stay here, not with Himemiya gone. Not with his eyes questioning her always, why his sister wasn’t here.
Ding! The elevator opened, there was Akio-san on the couch. He smiled warmly enough when he saw her, but also looked slightly puzzled. Afraid to go near him and have her wavering resolve crumble, Utena edged toward the room she shared with Himemiya.
“Anthy and I…had a fight,” she lied as best she could. Well that was sorta true. “I don’t want to stay here if I’m not on good terms with her….she ran off somewhere.” To Juri-sempai’s. But Utena wouldn’t say that, she wouldn’t betray Anthy one last time by telling her brother her secret. “I’ll just get my things and…stay with Wakaba a few days. I just wanted to tell you.”
Akio nodded somberly, he always took what she said seriously, that’s one of the things she liked about hi,. He treated her as an adult…well…she blushed a little. He certainly did. “I understand that you would not want to stay here if you quarled with her. But I do hope you will work things out. You are such a good friend to my sister.”
Tears threatened at her eyes, no she wouldn’t let him see.. “No. No I’m not,” she whispered as she slipped into her room to pack her things. She ran her hand over the bed, how long would it be before they shared this space again? Could she win her back? Did Anthy even care? She ran over a small lump…..she smiled faintly. “Chu Chu,”she nudged him slightly. He woke with a start. “Chu?” Sniffed around…no nothing good to eat. “Ne Chu Chu you had better find your mistress. She isn’t here now.”
“Chuuu,” the little creature said, and to Utena it sounded almost regretful. But she was probably making that up in her head. None the less he hopped down from the bed, tucked some treats into a handkerchief, and started towards the door. “Chuuu?”
Utena sighed and gathered her own things. It wouldn’t do to linger. “Chu Chu, walk me to Wakaba’s, will you?” “Chu.” Utena guessed that was a yes because he rode on her shoulder down the dark pathway towards the dorms. She patted him lightly, talking to him to break the silence, but at last he slid down off her shoulder and started to walk towards one of the high school dorms….oh of course, Juri-sempai. “I’ll miss you, Chu Chu.” She called. She thought he chued in response but she couldn’t quite tell if that was just a frog croaking somewhere. Sighing, she made her way to Wakaba’s.
She assured him the the rose would not wilt then excused herself. Ruka waited in the silent room, well silent except for the sound of machines but those didn't count...that was ugly background noise...it would never count. He could hear the delicate sound of running water after a moment. He wished that he could once again listen to the roar of the water at their place once more...it was always so beautiful there, their own private spot.
He hated this, this weakness of body, having to lay still because moving would bring him pain, would stir his lungs, cause him to go into a fit of coughing that would cause his head to feel as if it would explode while his throat would feel shredded. So he just stayed still...he had tried to rebel against his body but in the end it would have none of it and he had finally resigned himself to stillness. This had pleased the nurses immensly. He looked at the machines to which he was hooked up to. He hated those too...not that his hatred would do much against the machines, their beeps and twitters, the wave patterns that displayed all his vital signs. The damn machines would probably know when his heart stopped before he did. He would have to look to them to know that he had died.
"Much better," Juri said. He tore his eyes from the grey beasts to her lovely smile, his blue eyes following her as she placed her dueling rose on the table and smiling with some relief as she set the cup down on the table and returned to her seat. He was glad to have her back in the room. It had been horribly lonely as of late, the only ones that vistited were his parents and her. The entire situation had made him realize how incredibly alone he was. Perhaps death was a good thing.
"I have been meaning to ask you," Juri began, "When you came back to school, before, it seemed at least to me you had a very defined purpose going into the duel you fought and the one I fought. I had wondered…What hopes had you entrusted to the power of miracles?"
Ruka looked away from her penetrating eyes towards the rose...he wanted to look at something beautiful but he could not bear to look at her. Why did she feel the need to ask this? Couldn't she just let this go? He had of course done it for her...for her own freedom...at least one of them should be free...that made sense. It was too late for him. It just irritated him that someone so strong, to independent and powerful could be held down by something so seemingly trivial as...well...love perhaps was not trivial but the obsession was.
"And who were they for?"
Still he ignored her, tried to until her hand brushed his, so warm...just the human touch, the kind touch. He had missed it. Hadn't realized that he had missed it and his eyes flicked to her unconciously. He couldn't bring himself to pull his hand away though, couldn't if he had even wanted to. It felt nice...pleasant as she rested her hand comfortably on his and he decided that it was a dirty trick on her part to do this, even though he knew she hadn't considered it like that.
"I ask because now that I am Victor perhaps I can do something about those hopes. But I can do nothing if I do not know of them."
He had to admit that she had a point. But...could he really tell her? Truly it was embarrassing, he could tell someone else but not her. Perhaps he should? He was silent for a long moment still.
"I did have a purpose...in the end though I do not think that I needed to do it though, you are strong certainly, I should not have doubted that you could free yourself from your own bonadages but...perhaps I just wanted to play the dashing prince...just once, even though you of all people do not need one," he ran his thumb over her hand, "The miracle is yours Juri, do with it as you please, no one can tell you what to do with it...certainly not me."
His answer would infuriate her he knew but could he really tell her the full truth? No...it would not be fair to her. But it would not be fair to take her hope either.
"I will get better, you will see. I will be there to look on while you get your miracle, or prove or disprove them. I will be there, I promise." "Excuse me," one of the nurses stepped into the room, "Tsuchiya-san it is time for your medication," a polite word for some unpleasant things, "Miss if you would please excuse us?"
***
Anthy had since slid to the floor, sitting, waiting. The occasional person would walk by fixing her with an odd stare. Why would anyone wait so long to see Arisugawa? She wondered the same thing. She could have stayed with Akio a bit longer, she could have picked up a few specific things from her room. She had already gone through the bag and was now reading a book that Akio had placed in there. It wasn't a school book though at least not her level at any rate, she had read those several times over and was thouroughly bored with them. This at least proved something of a challenge...something interesting to pass the time.
"Chu."
She lifted her eyes from the pages of the book and a smile graced for face, "Chu-Chu! Gomen! I left you behind didn't I?"
He fixed her with a glare, his small paws on his sides, "Chuuuu...chu."
She held her hand out to him and he climbed into it and forgave her as she scratched him between the ears gently, "Gomen, I've just been...absent minded lately," she sighed and he looked up at her inquisitivly, giving her a worried noise.
"Ne, it's fine...we'll be fine. We'll just be with Juri-sama for a little while and...she's certainly better then Saionji-sempaii, or Touga-san you didn't like them."
Chu-Chu pouted and kicked at an imaginary rock then pantomimed that he would rather be with Utena.
"I know but...we can't, you know that. If you...if you wanted to go see her you could, I wouldn't mind."
He shook his head and she smiled sadly.
"As it is I am just waiting now...so I am glad for your company Chu-Chu...my friend."
Ruka looked up at her from his bed a moment, his face still unreadible. They were both so skilled at keeping their masks up, the seemed eloborate puppets somehow acting out a drama, the stiff faces of puppets that never changed, never softened.
"I did have a purpose,” he spoke at last, his words carefully measured, “in the end though I do not think that I needed to do it though, you are strong certainly, “…she cast her gaze away from his face, focusing on the rose instead…so it was for her, after all. All the pain he caused, he was only trying to help…but surely there was another way! If he truly wanted to help why had he been so cruel about it?
“I should not have doubted that you could free yourself from your own bonadages but...” Perhaps. Something had needed to give, the tension in her heart was to a breaking point. But how much longer would it have stayed that way had he not shattered through the walls she built?
“perhaps I just wanted to play the dashing prince just once..” She smiled wrly. A strange concept of chivalry, break hearts and leave a trail of destruction. Not very princely acts, unless the Prince was machiavellian -the ends justify the means.
“ even though you of all people do not need one." Really now? He traced his thumb over the back of her hand, so lightly, as if he dared not touch her but whistfully allowed himself to dream it for once brief instant.
"The miracle is yours Juri, do with it as you please, no one can tell you what to do with it...certainly not me."
She sighed inwardly, he was right. The problem being, with everything so broken and pieces of her life and love cracking like eggshell around her, she didn’t know what to wish for anymore. Everything was changing so quickly these days, perhaps warning of the coming revolution. But there must be something he wanted, why couldn’t he say….well of course she was no better, she could never voice to anyone what she wanted except in her own dreams or nightmares.
"I will get better, you will see.” Juri relaxed a little, the courners of her mouth even tilted up in the beginnings of a smile. Truly? As long as he believe, that was half the battle, was it not? She tightened her hand around his.
“I will be there to look on while you get your miracle, or prove or disprove them. I will be there, I promise." A promise she would hold him to, if there was anything she had to say about it. Still it would be something of a miracle if he lived to watch….and what did she want, now? To prove, or disprove. The boarders weren’t all that clear now, between belief and disbelief.
"Excuse me,” Why should they….Juri bent a smoldering glare on the poor person who stood in the doorway. “Tsuchiya-san it is time for your medication. Miss if you would please excuse us?"
He wouldn’t want her around for this, she supposed. She turned to look back at him. “I will visit tomorrow, and I will bring Himemiya with me. Whatever you need to say to her you can tell her then. Goodnight, Ruka. Enjoy the rose.” Releasing his hand with some reluctance, she turned and left the room and the terrors of the sterile hospital for the relative comfort of her room….
…and found Anthy sitting outside in the hall, curled up rather pathetically and looking for all the world like an abandoned puppy without a home. “I wasn’t expecting you back so soon. I would have thought your brother-“ her voice grated across the word “--would want to see you longer.”
Opening the door as Anthy rose to her feet, Juri gestured her inside. “You’re room is over here,” Juri shoved open a door off to the side of the living room. “I’m sure you’ll find it adaquate. The kitchen is off of the living area and the bathroom is around the courner.”
Anthy nodded mutely and dropped a small sack onto the bed, glancing around a moment. Juri waited with her hand on the doorknob. After a looking around the room a few seconds Anthy turned fully back to face her, arms clasped in front of her, staring up at her with her vacant eyes and pliant statement. Awaiting orders. “Sit with me in the living room a moment.” Juri didn’t bother making it a request.
“Hai, Juri-sama.” Same whitewashed tone, what was hidden beneath those layers of yielding? Juri was going to attempt to find out. Lowering herself onto the couch, Juri gestured for the Bride to sit across from her in the armchair. Anthy sank into it and folded her hands in her lap. Juri settled into the couch and stared into her eyes a moment, deep eyes, green voids of darkness in her head, nothing more, soul-swallowing darkness.
“The power to revolutionize the world,” Juri said at last. “ Is it something that exisits or is this merely an elaborate farce you and your brother like to play? And what is it?” She waved her hand in a violent dismissive gesture. “And don’t give me that mime-talk, those meaningless labels. Power of miracles, that which shines, that which is eternal, the power of Dios that beats at the heart of the world… “ she shook her head impatiently. “Shallow definitions, Bride. I have heard those names before and they are only that, superficial names, with no explanation or description. What does it mean, truly? What is that power? What is it capable of?”
Before Anthy answered Juri frowned deeply as a little furry……thing……threw itself off of Anthy’s shoulder and madly dashed for the fruit bowl on the table in front of her. “What on earth is that?” Juri snapped, snatching the fruit bowl away. The little furry……thing…..hung on to the edge and chuued, refusing to budge, clinging to the edge as Juri picked up the bowl, presumably to get it out of harms way.
***
Chu-Chu had since curled up to nap on her shoulder, which left her to deal with her own thoughts again. She didn’t mind but still she was bored and the floor was hard. Granted she had dealt with worse. Perhaps she should count herself lucky that Arisugawa was not there yet. She sighed and dug out another book. She had read them though; she was bored.
"I wasn’t expecting you back so soon,” Anthy looked up quickly at her champion who had arrived without her noticing. “I would have thought your brother---would want to see you longer." Well if she had known that Juri was not going to be there she would have stayed longer. She was trying to be obedient…instead she had just discovered that she could have stayed, felt his arms around her a little longer…that she would not see him for a week was difficult enough, especially after living with him again. That made it all the harder. She rose to her feet as Juri opened the door and stepped inside the dark room.
"You’re room is over here," the cold woman said pushing a door open. Anthy peered inside, yes; at least she had a separate room that would be nice. “I’m sure you’ll find it adequate. The kitchen is off of the living area and the bathroom is around the corner." She nodded. Actually she knew the layout of Juri’s quarters, she had stayed in them before in one of the past duels, but it wouldn’t do to say anything about that, so she remained silent and compliant, setting her things down and examining the room. It had been decorated differently it looked nice, well kept.
Finally she turned around again, her usual façade up. The façade for her was an odd comfort though she did not think that Juri was overly pleased with it.
"Sit with me in the living room a moment,” she said in a flat commanding voice that left no room for disobedience.
"Hai, Juri-sama," she said automatically, following her to the main room and sitting in the chair that the young woman assigned her and looked at her champion, waiting. She had said that she had wanted to ask some questions. Anthy supposed that this is what she was going to do now.
"The power to revolutionize the world," Ah, standard question, Anthy mentally prepared her standard answer. " Is it something that exists or is this merely an elaborate farce you and your brother like to play? And what is it?" Anthy prepared to answer when Juri made a harsh dismissive gesture.
"And don’t give me that mime-talk, those meaningless labels. Power of miracles, that which shines, that which is eternal, the power of Dios that beats at the heart of the world… " Anthy regarded her blankly though she longed to frown. She had no right to know the answers… "Shallow definitions, Bride. I have heard those names before and they are only that, superficial names, with no explanation or description. What does it mean, truly? What is that power? What is it capable of?"
Anthy sighed and looked down at her hands. She didn’t want to tell Arisugawa this…it wasn’t for her to know, it wasn’t even for Utena to know. The ends of the world, the power to revolutionize the world…they were her secrets…hers and Akios…everything else had been stripped from her, her dignity, her sense of self…everything, her secrets were all she had left.
Chu-Chu came to her rescue though, leaping at the bowl of fruit on the table. "What on earth is that?" Juri said in a clipped voice as she pulled the bowl away from her friend. Anthy reached out for him, “Chu-Chu! Be polite!” She chided it, wrapping her hands around him and pulling him from the bowl. It would not do for Juri to dislike him, it was hard when she had to keep him under some sort of control.
He struggled and complained, finally settling down though as Anthy rubbed him between the ears lovingly. “Ne, this is Chu-Chu,” he pulled from her hands and bowed stiffly but politely to the humorless Juri who had set the fruit bowl on the table behind her. “Ne if you were hungry you should have told me,” she pulled a cracker from her pocket and gave it to him, “He’s my friend,” she explained, emphasizing the word friend.
She leaned back in the chair, her mind returning to the other matters at hand. Juri would become impatient with her if she didn’t answer. “You want to know about the revolution then?” She asked rhetorically, “Yes. It does exist,” it was a power beyond even her and her brother but with the right methods they would be able to control it.
“If it did not exist to you think that I would do this?” she asked. Juri knew…she knew about Akio, she questioned things unlike the others. She didn’t think the woman stupid certainly and assumed that she would understand.
“It exists,” she repeated, “The Power to Revolutionize the world…it is what you want it to be. It restores or shatters…if one wished they could destroy the world with it…or restore it…they could forget what they wanted to forget…heal scars of the soul,” she glanced up at her champions hard green eyes then back down at her hands, “It is freedom from the chains that bind us, it is a way to break the coffin in which we sleep,” she paused and glanced up at Juri once more, “
We only put it in those shallow terms so you will understand them. For truly, the shining thing, the miracle, the eternal, raw power…so much easier to comprehend…when you first started out as a duelist would you have followed a letter that said ‘Gain the power of miracles?’ or ‘Gain the power of revolution.’ You have to decide for your self what revolution means. It is change pure and simple, radical change, sometimes violent change,” she took a breath and looked down at her hands again, “Is that answer sufficient Juri-sama? Or would you prefer I elaborate more?”
***
A…..friend? Juri looked quzically at the oddly secient fuzzy creature that bowed formally in her direction. She thought he looked more like a pet but she supposed even the Bride would want the comfort of calling at least one creature in this world “friend.” Undoubtedly it was the only loyal one she would have, passed from duelist to duelist as she had been. A lonely existance.
Yes the Revolution, what was at the root of it? “If it did not exist to you think that I would do this?” Juri frowned slighly, that was true. Who would wish for such a role as the Rose Bride if it were all a game, and only a game?
“It exists,” Was it worth it to try and disprove such a thing, then, if that were the case? Were her reasons for dueling that unecessary? “The Power to Revolutionize the world…it is what you want it to be.” Juri stared at her and waited for her to go on. Why were these anwers perpetually vague? “ It restores or shatters…if one wished they could destroy the world with it…” The entire world? How could such power be contained in a sword…it couldn’t be. Skepticism seeped into her thoughts as the Bride went on. “or restore it…they could forget what they wanted to forget…heal scars of the soul,”
The Bride’s gaze flickered over to Juri’s face for the slightest second, she did know, didn’t she. Always had. Is that how Ruka knew, she and her damn brother….“It is freedom from the chains that bind us, it is a way to break the coffin in which we sleep.” But the chain that strangled her was broken, unwillingly, but the links had been shattered in a very literal sense. But did that mean she was free? He must have known when he came back to the duels.. Had he forced her from her coffin, then, only to lock himself deeper in his own?
“We only put it in those shallow terms so you will understand them. For truly, the shining thing, the miracle, the eternal, raw power…so much easier to comprehend…when you first started out as a duelist would you have followed a letter that said ‘Gain the power of miracles?’ or ‘Gain the power of revolution.’” Juri smiled wryly, she barely wanted to duel at all and such an outrageous message surely would have turned her off to it altogether. The Bride and her brother were not fools, in any sense of the word. “ You have to decide for your self what revolution means. It is change pure and simple, radical change, sometimes violent change.” But change defined by the last victor? Interesting. If she could change anything in the world… this was a question they asked beauty contestants, hypothetical. It wasn’t an answer she was used to considering in earnest. “Is that answer sufficient Juri-sama? Or would you prefer I elaborate more?”
Juri shook her head slightly, thoughtful. “Ne that’s fine. For now.” She wanted to consider what had already been said. Many things throughout the duels had disturbed her, descrepencies that never seemed to add up, details that seemed amiss. Now she had perhaps an opportunity to gain an explanation for those things that had bothered her. And one of the biggest was…
“It is quite obvious as these duels have proceeded that Tenjou Utena has been the favored victor. What is so different from her than the rest of us? And what power does she draw on when she duels…I have seen the light eclipse her and have often wondered. It did not touch Touga at all when he drew the sword from you to duel, and I suppose it is safe to assume it will not descend on me, either. Only Tenjou…and you yourself favor her. Why?”
Chu chu seemed to be struggling in his mistress’ grasp. Juri watched the…animal….cautiously. “Does it…need something?” she asked hesitatingly. Perhaps it needed to go outside or some such thing.
---
Anthy had to admit that it was refreshing to speak this way. She had not been able to speak so to Saionji, Touga already knew what he needed to know and Utena...well Utena was still in the basics she hated to admit. Juri, while cold, was intriguing certainly. It would be an interesting engagement to say the least.
“Ne that’s fine. For now,” Juri said shaking her head, her orange shade curls hitting her face lightly. “It is quite obvious as these duels have proceeded that Tenjou Utena has been the favored victor. What is so different from her than the rest of us? And what power does she draw on when she duels…I have seen the light eclipse her and have often wondered. It did not touch Touga at all when he drew the sword from you to duel, and I suppose it is safe to assume it will not descend on me, either. Only Tenjou…and you yourself favor her. Why?”
Anthy looked at her, stared at her for a long moment. She did not need to know these things and the last thing Anthy wanted was to be reminded of Utena. Utena who failed her, who let her return to her drifting in limbo between duelists. She had put too much faith in her perhaps then...
“Does it…need something?” Juri asked.
"Huh?" Anthy blinked and looked down at Chu-Chu who was squirming wildly. She realized that her hands had tightened around him. "Ah gomen Chu-Chu!" She released him and he scrambled to her shoulder.
Anthy looked down at her hands and laid them flat on her lap. She closed her eyes, "It shouldn't matter to you why Tenjou-san is different from you or the others. She is who she is. If you look at yourself...and the other council members...and then at her...you would realize the difference. She has told you hasn't she? How she found her ring...a prince gave it to her after her parents died..."
Anthy spoke distantly, her eyes open to hazy slits looking more out the window then at Juri, "She kept her nobility, her honor, her hope, her courage, her kindness, even though life was so unfair to her as a child, so brutal as to steal her parents and yet she still held onto hope. Now look at yourself and the others...did any of you hold onto that?" Her face was dark...if Akio had not started interfering with Utena she was certain the young woman would still be fighting for her..."You ask why I favor her?" her statement was sad for a moment before it became flat once more, "After Saionji why wouldn't I?" Utena had been the only one to actually treat her decently, she had had every right to favor her...she she also favored her because Dios did...but Juri didn't need to know any more about that.
"You asked something else...the power, correct?" Juri nodded. "Dios. It is his power and his blessing for her. Dios was once the prince of the world...she wishes to be a prince...if you or one of the others were prone to such noble ideals then perhaps he would see fit to bless one of you as well," she lifted her eyes to meet Juri's, "Anything more Juri-sama? If you like I will make some tea, or shaved ice," the flatness decended on her eyes again as she looked at her victor fully, "I am your flower to do with as you please."
***
The creature scurried up to Anthy’s shoulder and rested there. As long as it didn’t make any more attacks on the food. "It shouldn't matter to you why Tenjou-san is different from you or the others.,” began Anthy flatly. “She is who she is. “ How very insightful. Surely there was more than that. “ If you look at yourself...and the other council members...and then at her...you would realize the difference.” Sorely lacking in skill? These were the qualities that made her triumph? “She has told you hasn't she? How she found her ring...a prince gave it to her after her parents died..."
Juri listened carefully. She had heard that Utena dressed as a boy because of this “prince”, but she didn’t realize the ring was from him as well. She thought the ‘prince’ was just some boy Utena had a crush on, as silly girls often will call boys. The Bride wasn’t even looking at her, her eyes focused elsewhere. "She kept her nobility, her honor, her hope, her courage, her kindness,” Juri stared darkly at her as she rattled off the long list of virtues. She only kept them because she was ignorant, nothing more. “Even though life was so unfair to her as a child, so brutal as to steal her parents and yet she still held onto hope.” Hope, a frail moth burned by the flame of reality. And still…she had won, that must mean something. “
Now look at yourself and the others...” The Bride’s voice flung the words towards her Victor, her tone clearly accusatory, “did any of you hold onto that?" The Bride….Anthy’s….voice was close to rage as she went on. Juri found that interesting, supposedly the Bride was incapable of her own statement.
Now too, the green depths of her soulless eyes flickered with something very like tears, sadness. “You ask why I favor her?" The voice more vunerable than it had dared to be before. "After Saionji why wouldn't I?" True the maniac had abused her terribly. But Touga had been chivalrous at least in appearances, although perhaps not in fact.
Now she spoke of the power, where did it come from…."Dios.” Juri’s eyes widened slightly, that was the swords true power, and the root of the power to revolutionize the world. How had that child tapped into it? “ It is his power and his blessing for her.” But why her? She was only a child, surely she did not understand such power or have the maturity to properly manage it.
“ Dios was once the prince of the world...she wishes to be a prince...if you or one of the others were prone to such noble ideals then perhaps he would see fit to bless one of you as well" Juri’s eyes narrowed, she did not like to feel as though she were being patronized and talked down to by someone who was supposedly her servant. As if sensing her Victor’s anger, the Bride peered up at her then with her most submissive statement.
"Anything more Juri-sama? If you like I will make some tea, or shaved ice." So very polite, dead polite as her dark fast tilted to look fully at Juri. "I am your flower to do with as you please."
Juri merely stared back at her a long moment, listening to Chu Chu snore as she considered what the Bride said. “About Tenjou… “ Juri said slowly at last, “I did defeat her. I did win, despite her honor and her kind heart. In the world kindness will only get one so far with out the might and skill to back it up.” And clearly the girl was not strong enough with a sword, that had been evident from the very first duel Juri fought against her.
“Besides, did your Utena keep her faith? I think not. I can read doubt in someone’s eyes as well as anyone else in a duel, and I saw it glint in her eyes when my sword crashed with hers….when she lost faith in herself, her sword slipped. Even Dios cannot rescue her from that.” The Bride looked away, her green eyes darting downwards. Yes. She knew it too.
“ As for the rest of us loosing hope where she did not….” Juri thought back to that evening, to looking down on Ruka’s pale face and seeing how much he struggled to live, how much she wanted to believe he could.. “….does it matter if we lost it, so long as the hope is reborn?” That was the point, wasn’t it? Perhaps she misunderstood this game if it was not.
“And her prince like qualities…” Juri rose to her feet and came around to the Bride, glaring down at her. She sniffed derisively, nearly a snort and folded her arms. “Tenjou Utena is a child, with no true understanding of what this game means. She is play acting at being a prince, nothing more, an ignorant. You know it yourself, or are more fool than she if you do not.”
Anthy was staring pointedly into her hands. Juri reached out suddenly, snake-strike fast, and touched the girl’s cheek, tilting her dark face upward. She wanted her to look at her, so she couldn’t hide from this truth behind her servile mask. Their green eyes, both equally cold, met for an instant. Juri whispered, “Don’t confuse naiveté with nobility.”
The tension in the air was nearly tangible, Juri could see the smoldering stifled anger riling in the Bride’s distant eyes. She half expected Anthy to slap her hand away… but no….no…..the Bride was too obedient, after all. So well trained. She endured the touch of her fingers so patiently.
“I don’t need a servant, I don’t need you to do anything for me. Do only what you wish to do,” she replied flatly. The Bride would do whatever she asked, wouldn’t she, despite her supposed support of Utena. Sick. Slowly she withdrew her hand from the petal soft dark cheek, glaring down disdainfully at the Bride. Inconstant creature. “You are a lovely flower, indeed, but you only blossom for me as long as I am the Victor of the duels. I have little need for such flowers.” Decorative, frail things, easily crushed. And fickle, the rose that turned to her now would stick its thorns into her should she lose.
Juri turned her away from her and moved towards her bedroom. “Tomorrow however I would like you to accompany me to the Council Meeting. I think Touga will benefit from seeing you there.” Juri nearly smiled….yes it may take his arrogant attitude down a few notches. “And also Ruka wishes to speak with you alone, so you and I are going to go to the hospital tomorrow after the meeting. “
Juri stopped a moment, her tone softening just slightly. “I know you tend the garden…if you could find a blue rose in good condition for him I think he would like it. His hospital room is very sparse.” Blue rose, a symbol of the impossible, but surely with her magic she could conjure something.
Juri molded her features back into her formally frigid statement. “And I have more questions for you , but it is late now. Don’t let your friend unattended in the kitchen, I would like something left of my food in the morning. I’m going to sleep now, you may do as you wish. Goodnight.” Juri disappeared into her room and shut the door firmly. Changing into her nightgown, she considered a moment….perhaps that was poorly done. It wasn’t as if the girl enjoyed this role she played, and surely that was a harsh reception, the interrogation and the casual dismissal. Juri pulled back the covers…still it wasn’t as if the Bride especially cared. And not that Juri herself should care, the Bride was more cruel in her own way than Juri could conceive of, her and her brother, their plots. Still.
Juri picked up the blanket from the bottom of her bed and went across the hall to Anthy’s room…odd she had never had to live with a roommate. This was going to take some getting used to. Juri rapped sharply on the door. After a second, the door opened, the Bride stood there in a long pale blue nightgown, her lavender locks falling free Odd…she looked so vulnerable with her hair down, nearly human…almost like a scared child with her wide inquiring eyes. And yet at the same time, something dark seemed to linger in the tangled web of wavy tendrils. “I thought you might need this.” Juri stiffly held the folded blanket out to her. “ It’s a little cold, tonight.”
***
Silence. She waited. She had time. Certainly she had said a lot...many of her words laced with bitterness. But she had a right to feel bitter didn't she? She had had to move from Akio's side after all, had to uproot once more to a new home where she was not wanted.
“About Tenjou… “ she said finally, “I did defeat her. I did win, despite her honor and her kind heart. In the world kindness will only get one so far with out the might and skill to back it up.” Yes. Juri had defeated her. But up until that moment...that hesitant moment... “Besides, did your Utena keep her faith? I think not. I can read doubt in someone’s eyes as well as anyone else in a duel, and I saw it glint in her eyes when my sword crashed with hers….when she lost faith in herself, her sword slipped. Even Dios cannot rescue her from that.” Anthy forced her face to hold its mask as she looked away, almost hesitant to look truth in the eyes. She knew what Juri said was correct...Utena had lost her faith...she wasn't a prince now but a princess, broken by her brother...so hesitant that she could no longer fight.
“ As for the rest of us loosing hope where she did not….” her champion continued speaking, “….does it matter if we lost it, so long as the hope is reborn?” Perhaps...she wasn't sure. Hope was important yes...she supposed if a duelist regained their hope it would aid them. “And her prince like qualities…” Anthy watched her walk towards her, the amazon towering over her now and Anthy shrunk into herself. She knew that Juri was not above the occasional slap. own at her. “Tenjou Utena is a child, with no true understanding of what this game means," true but did Juri understand what this game means either? If she did she wouldn't be asking her questions, "She is play acting at being a prince, nothing more, an ignorant. You know it yourself, or are more fool than she if you do not.”
Of course. She resigned her thoughts to that of her champion. It was just easier. why defend Utena when she had failed her? What was the point? Still part of her did not want to believe that, would not let her look at Juri, at those cold eyes tortured by love. She gasped though as Juri's cold hand touched her face and forced up up
“Don’t confuse naiveté with nobility,” she said after almost an endless moment. Who was she to tell her such things? Anthy resented it. She was no child. But she was the Bride...despite it all...and she could not pull away, so she met the hypnotic green ice eyes, holding them.
“I don’t need a servant, I don’t need you to do anything for me. Do only what you wish to do.” Anthy supressed yet another frown. What she wanted to do. Oh thankyou so generous of you Juri-sama, she could not help but think. What she wanted was something that she was not allowed to do, at least not until the week was over. At last she pulled her hand away and Anthy relaxed.
“You are a lovely flower, indeed, but you only blossom for me as long as I am the Victor of the duels. I have little need for such flowers.” Fine then. It was not as if Anthy cared...she didn't care for any of the. They could all rot in their coffins as much as she cared. It was Akio who sought the power of revolution, the power to free peopel from their coffins so they would not point their sword at him...so she would no longer have to block it. But so long had she lived with the swords that it didn't seem to matter anymore. Living was a habit...so why bother caring?
Juri turned away from her and Anthy ran her finger delicatly over Chu-Chu's sleeping form. “Tomorrow however I would like you to accompany me to the Council Meeting. I think Touga will benefit from seeing you there.” Ah...was Juri-sama going to show her off then? Well it didn't matter, whatever she felt she needed to do to make herself look so grand and victorious...oh yes, lets parade off the Rose Bride.
“And also Ruka wishes to speak with you alone, so you and I are going to go to the hospital tomorrow after the meeting. “ Anthy made a face. She didn't like hospitals. She didn't like how they smelled, and what did Ruka have to say to her anyways? His job was done. Certainly he wasn't going to ask them to give him more time. “I know you tend the garden…if you could find a blue rose in good condition for him I think he would like it. His hospital room is very sparse.” Anthy glanced at her, noting the tenderness of her voice as she requested the rose. So she did have a few melted spots in her glacier like soul. She would see what she could do then.
“And I have more questions for you , but it is late now, don’t let your friend unattended in the kitchen, I would like something left of my food in the morning. I’m going to sleep now, you may do as you wish. Goodnight.”
Anthy sat in the chair for a long moment after Juri shut her door, staring into nothing, angry in part, hurt. All the things she couldn't show, shouldn't feel. She would have to rework her mask then...Utena had causght her off guard, she had opened herself up too much. Just for her to fail.
"Ne, shall we go to bed then?" she asked Chu-Chu though he did not reply. He was already asleep. She sighed and left the chair, glad at least that the interrogation was over for now. She supposed Juri would ask her other questions in time. Well she shouldn't wait too long then...she could very well lose her in the next duel. She walked calmly to her room and close the door. She deposited her friend on the corner of the bed while she shed the school uniform, draping it over a chair. She would hang it up in the morning. She opened the bag and looked at the contents again, her nightgown, but not her hair bonnet, not that she used it much anymore...still it was useful. Oh well. She pulled the nightgown on over her head and begain the process of undoing her hair. It cascaded around her, encircled her. She carefully began to brush it out when she heard a sharp knock at the door. She didn't bother to put her glasses back on and just deposited the brush on the dresser before opening the door. She was surprised to see Juri standing there, not that she should be, this was her home after all...but just the fact that she was standing there with...a blanket?
“I thought you might need this," Juri said. Anthy regarded her flatly as she held out the blanket, “ It’s a little cold, tonight.”
"Hai," she said, her dark hand wrapping around it. Cold indeed. "Arigatou...goodnight Juri-sama," she said, a haunting flat smile on her lips before she closed her door. The woman had made an effort to be kind. Well good for her. Anthy lay the blanket in the chair, ignoring it for the most part, not caring that it was on top of her skirt. She pulled down the blankets and crawled into bed. Her thoughts lingering on Utena, on Akio. She wondered what each of them were doing and prayed that it was not something together. Her eyes closed at last and she drifted to sleep.