Well, that's it. As you can see, I was actually right on most of my predictions. That's because I'm a genius.
P.S. Wasn't Bjork's performance awesome? And I loved how she reacted to being interviewed. When complimented on her outfit and asked who made it, she just said "Sank you. My friend made it for me." Meanwhile everyone else is a walking advertisement for a fashion designer.
Sorry for the lack of updates. I've been engaged in a bitter custody battle over another web site of mine, which has been taking up most of my internet time. Oh, and I've also been playing the horribly addictive Pyroto. Anyway, how are you? Me, I'm good. Well, mostly. I kinda have a weird problem lately. I've had the song Independent Woman by Destiny's Child stuck in my head....for 2 months. I'm getting very sick of it, but it just keeps playing in my head, over and over. The only relief I have is to listen to other music. I just got a new CD by Mr. Bungle. If you haven't heard of Mr. Bungle, go look them up on Napster. They're deliciously weird.
That's all I have to say. I'm still working on a completely new look for the page, so keep coming back.
P.S. Don't forget to watch Survivor II tonight!
December 2000:
Hi. Okay now that school isn't so busy, I'm gonna have time to do some fun stuff here. I'm thinking of creating an entirely redesigned homepage. This would be the first time this main page has really changed in this page's five years of existence! I'll get rid of the stupid frames, and it will be much nicer to look at. And there will be fun animated Flash stuff! Stuff is fun. So come back in a week or two and there will be lots of fun stuff here to make you have fun. If I like you, maybe you'll get a sneak preview even sooner.
Here's a fun project for you. Go to Yahoo and search for "stupid people." See if you recognize any of the names that come up.
Another fun thing: There's this game called Pyroto...it's free, and you play it on the web. It's basically a trivia game, but with a community based around it where people can help you, or take away all your progress if they don't like you. It's been taking up a lot of my time lately, because is fu*king addictive. If you have lots of free time, you can check it out here: Pyroto. If not, stay away from that site.
Here's something to screw with your mind. Is the following statement true or false?
There is no current king of France. So is it true or false? Well if he doesn't exist, then it must be false...right? So the current king of France is not bald. So he has hair (or at least has the property of "not bald"). Someone who doesn't exist has hair? Hmmm! I don't think philosophers have agreed on an answer, but email me your thoughts and maybe I'll post them here.
Oh and another thing to screw with your mind. The TV trailer for the movie Titan A.E. says it's "A cross between Star Wars and the Matrix", and "Star Wars and Heavy Metal rolled into one", yet it's also "Not like anything you've ever seen before." Hmmmm!
My friend Frog Boy sent me this address yesterday: asjflkajsko. It's kinda funny if you know me. (No, it's not actually me)
Damn...somehow, some old things got lost. That sucks.
June 2000
Big news! The new address for this page is now http://www.phronk.com, just like a real web page! Please update your bookmarks n stuff, since this Geocities page might not exist soon. You can also use http://www.phronko.com, but there will be a stupid advertisement at the bottom of your screen.
Ok something is really bugging me. There's a song in the trailer for the movie American Psycho that I just know that I recognize, but I can't remember who does it or what it's called. I looked through the soundtrack and didn't see any I recognized there, so I don't think it's on the soundtrack. If any of you know the song (it's basically just an electric guitar playing the same thing over and over), please let me know, because it's really pissing me off! Thanks.
Here is a fun picture.
Merry Christmas! Or if you don't celebrate Christmas, then happy Saturday!
I have drawn a happy little Christmas present for all of you people who visit my homepage. I hope you like it, because I spent many hours creating this masterpiece:
Yeah, I know, I have problems.
I saw the following on a jar of beer nuts:
Ingredients: peanuts, sugar, butter, salt Caution: may contain peanuts
I just thought that was funny.
Well, as the end of millenium draws near, we need to look back at the last century and decide what sucked and what didn't. Here is my take:
Best Movies of the 1900's:
- Clockwork Orange
- Eyes Wide Shut
- Fight Club
- The Matrix
- The Blair Witch Project
- Labyrinth
- The Dark Crystal
Yes, so half of them are from 1999, two are Stanley Kubrick films, and two involve puppets as main characters. So I have a short memory and a thing for Kubrick and muppets (but NEVER in the same movie (those apes in 2001 don't count as muppets)).
Worst Movies of the 1900's:
Well I've enjoyed pretty much every movies I've seen. Even if I realize a movie is bad, it's still entertaining to watch, especially if you have people with you to make fun of it with. But Stepmom sucked pretty bad. So did Wild Wild West.
Best Invention of the 1900's:
Computers. They've totally changed our lives...now we can do anything from wasting hours playing games to spending all our money on used kidneys at Ebay, all without leaving the comfort of our chairs.
Worst Invention of the 1900's:
Computers. They've totally changed our lives...now we can do anything from wasting hours playing games to spending all our money on used kidneys at Ebay, all without leaving the comfort of our chairs.
In other words, they waste all our time with stuff that seems important but really isn't, while we sit there getting fat. Plus the damn things never work. Have you ever seen a computer that works flawlessly, even for just one week? I haven't.
There you go. That's my opinion. You're not allowed to disagree. Have a good day!
Time check: December 1999. Wow, this homepage has been around a looong time (over 4 years I do believe!)
Story time!!!
"Want to breast?" said Walter, as he swallowed two young textbooks. Captain Crotch eyed him violently.
"Ouch!" exclaimed the shocked Walter. Green intentions began pouring from his elbow. "What was that for?"
Captain Krotch was quick to explain: "You see, my dear Walter, an awarded goat is worth only the winner it's strapped on. If you don't got the runnings, you don't got the science! One is enough, but two is enough, and three is not enough. You dig?"
Walter took a deep breath, for the advice he had just been given was very deep. He dug deep within his mind and discovered an unused hamburger. He grinned. "Oh yes Kaptain, I dig."
Here is an example of my happily disturbing art:
|
I saw the following on a jar of beer nuts:
Ingredients: peanuts, sugar, butter, salt Caution: may contain peanuts
I just thought that was funny.
Hello. I have been urged to update, so here I am. Hello. I don't really have anything exciting to say. I hate computers now, that's why I don't update as much as I used to. You see, my computer got this Chernobyl (I spelled that wrong, didn't I?) virus thingy, and it blew up and everything got erased...so I hate computers.
So this Star Wars movie is pretty crazy. I saw some people lined up outside of a theatre to buy tickets today. I think it would be really funny if the movie totally sucked. Some critics have already said it's not so hot, so maybe my dream will come true. Today I tried to convince someone that Luke Skywalker would actually be in the movie, only in the form of a developing fetus. He didn't believe me for some reason. I don't think it's all that impossible...both parents are physically old enough to have children. The fetus will even be played by Mark Hamill, through the use of computers.
But I hate computers. Yeah, Star Wars is gonna suck.
Hey, wanna see something cool? Go here: ~!@#$%%^^&. I wrote that there first article. Oh and this picture was supposed to go with the article, but the evil censors took it away! But since you're special because you're at my homepage, you get to see it. Lucky you!
I just saw this movie called Blast From the Past. If you're smart, you may know that it is currently Wednesday, February 3rd, and that the movie doesn't come out until Friday, February 12th. That's right, I'm so special that I got to see an advance screening of it. Anyway, wanna know what I thought of it? Of course you do.
I thought it was pretty good. I expected it to suck, because the commercials looked stupid, but I was pleasantly surprised. Oh and Alicia Silverstone was in it, so that helped. Christopher Walken was also in it, and he's always cool. PLUS, there was a preview for Austin Powers 2 (The Spy Who Shagged Me or something) before the movie. Woohoo.
Hello. Today I was speaking with a person, who shall remain nameless, and she said that she keeps coming to this here homepage and finding it un-updated (I wonder if that's a real word). I figured nobody really comes here more than once, so updating was pointless. But I guess that's not true, because Jen comes here every once in a while. Well Jen, this update is dedicated to you.
Oh yeah, I promised a big update last time. Well, I was planning on doing a big thing about all my favourite things of the year...my favourite music, movies, etc. However, I don't feel like doing that any more because I'm lazy. But I don't want to disappoint anyone, so here is a short synopsis of what I was GOING to put here:
- Best CD (or tape, if you're stuck in the 80's):
- I'm not gonna be like most magazines and web sites who pick some obscure CD as the best one, just to look like they're so cool that they don't listen to mainstream music. OK so most mainstream music is crap, but who cares, I like it. So my pick for best album of the year is Marilyn Manson's Mechanical Animals. I don't care about their image change, I don't care about their message (although both are quite cool too), it's just kick-ass music. Version 2.0, by Garbage, is also up there. I just got Mezzanninezezine or whatever by Massive Attack yesterday, but I'm liking it a lot so far too. So there you have it, go buy those CDs.
- Best Movie:
- This year sucked for movies. It was mostly made up of big hollow movies like Armageddon and Godzilla (although Godzilla was much more entertaining than I expected, considering how much it was bashed by critics). The only movie I can think of that really stood out was Dark City. All of my friends hated it, but I thought it had a thought-provoking plot and a very cool atmosphere to it. Ebert agrees with me, so if you hate it too, then kiss my ass. Oh yeah, and There's Something About Mary deserves a mention too. Next year should be better, with the new Star Wars movie and a sequel to Austin Powers. Yeah baby! (haha that was cheesy)
- Best Game:
- Zelda for the Nintendo 64 is obviously it. It's not as flawless as many magazines will lead you to believe, but it comes closer than most games so far. Grand Theft Auto for PC was also great fun, and its small size makes it easy to illegally download from the internet for free. Not that I did that...
Tonight, I recieved an anonymous message stating that one of the readers of this homepage has the flu. I hope this person, whoever it may be, gets better soon. Oh yeah, and Happy Holidays everyone! I'd say Merry Christmas, but that's all politically incorrect n stuff. Personally I don't give a rat's bum what you call this time of the year...just celebrate being nice to other people, that's all that matters.
Anyway, come back soon because I hope to do a big update next time. And we all know how fun big updates are.
Uugh...I am not having a good day. I can't find the remote control for the TV so it's stuck on one channel, and I found a fingernail in my Pizza Pop this morning. I am in hell.
Well, it's Halloween again. Halloween's important to me, because it's the only thing that lets me keep track of time. You see, I normally have no sense of time at all, but by counting Halloweens I can judge how long ago things happened within a year. For example, I have derived that there have been three Halloweens in the time that I've had this homepage. That means that I've had this homepage for at least two years, probably longer. You can now see a whole year of things by clicking on "Previous things" (except the crappy things I didn't wanna put there)
Anyway, since it's Halloween, today I'll talk about scary things.
First of all, the new Alanis Morisette video. That's the scariest thing I've ever seen. Geez...and people think Marilyn Manson is disturbing.
Next, a movie review. This one's of John Carpenter's Vampires. This is a cheesey movie about a guy who looks like James Woods (and also happens to be played by him) who likes to kill vampires for a living. Fighting by his side are Daniel "the fattest of the Baldwin brothers" Baldwin, some priest, and Laura Palmer of Twin Peaks fame. Despite being cheesey, stupid, and an overall horrible movie, I recommend it. There are some cool scenes and some cool ideas, making it fun to watch, and fun is worth experiencing, in my humble opinion.
Next on our tour of scaaaaary things is a little show called Teletubbies. It has all the ingredients for a half-hour of terror: babies being burned alive by the sun, questionable activities with rabbits, and a male that carries a purse! Oh my! This show definitely isn't for the kiddies.
That's all for today. Have a fun and safe Halloween.
Howdy. I haven't updated this thing in about 4 months, so I figured it was time. I have good reasons for not updating though...you see, I now go to university (UWO to be exact) and it has been taking up a lot of my time. But things are settling down now, so you'll see more of me.
Anyway, I was wandering the web the other day, and I came across a web site that made me laugh out loud (which is something I rarely do in front of my computer....usually when something's funny I just type "hehe" over and over...sometimes when I do it too quickly, my computer beeps at me, and sometimes it even freezes up...but I do it anyway, because it's a bad habit). Yeah, so, I'm sitting there, laughing out loud, and I'm thinking "I should put a link to this page on my web site!" So I did! aslkdfjalsk (By the way, you need RealAudio for it)
I lied. I wasn't actually just wandering the web aimlessly when I found that page. I was at This Place and followed a link to it. You should go there too, because it's an excellent piece of work. It makes me type Hehe a lot.
That's it for now. Come back in a few days for more enjoyableness.
Hello and welcome to another edition of Phronk's Thing. As you can see, the little picture that says "Phronk's Thing" has changed. You better like it.
Ok how about some movie reviews today? Sounds good:
X-Files: If you like the show, you've probably already seen the movie and don't need to see a review of it. If you don't like the show, then why would you wanna see the movie? Geez, you people ask me to do the dumbest things.
Armageddon: This is a movie about a big rock that's about to kill everyone on earth, so a bunch of oil drillers go to blow it up. Stuff goes wrong and other things blow up. Then the guy from Fargo loses his marbles and blows stuff up. It's a good movie if you like to see stuff blow up...and it's even got some sad mushy stuff too. I enjoyed it, but it's not really groundbreaking or anything. Go see it during the day or on a Tuesday.
Saving Private Ryan: Now HERE is a groundbreaking movie. As you've probably heard, it narrowly escaped an NC-17 rating in the United States because of all the blood and gore. True, it was very violent...but so was Starship Troopers. The thing that makes the violence in Ryan so much more disturbing is the context in which it is used. In Starship Troopers, the characters fought giant bugs while the camera sweeped across the battlefield, accompanied by an exciting soundtrack. Private Ryan, on the other hand, realistically shows human fighting humans. There's no music, and the camera jiggles around as if it was being held by a person on the battlefield...it even gets blood splattered on it from time to time. It's genuinely disturbing, and gets the message of the movie across: war sucks. Of course, it's still just a movie, with unlikely twists and well timed humour...it's not a pure work of art that will change the world forever. However, it's a very good movie, and worth seeing.
(Time Check: October 1998)
A few things today:
First, hello to Sara, who has Internet now! Hehe but she doesn't have an email address so this is the only way I can say hi. Hi. :) Oh, and go here: asldkfj.
Second, here's a fun thing for you all to try next time you're at McDonalds. Order a hamburger, and ask for lettuce, tomatoe, mayonnaise, Big Mac sauce, onions, etc, on your burger. They'll actually make it for you, and they'll even give you a nice little sticker saying "Prepared just the way you like it." I'm serious, try it. It's the best deal you can get for 99 cents (probably less if you're in the states).
Let's try a little contest here. I want to find THE dumbest movie quote in existence. There are some pretty bad movies out there, and usually bad movies have bad dialogue in them, and that means dumb quotes. So send any really bad quotes you happen to come across to me. I'll put them on here. Maybe I'll even make a separate page for them if I get enough replies.
Ok here's the first one, from the movie An American Werewolf in Paris: "Eat my heart, Andy."
Thanks to Garth for these submissions:
"Beware. Beware! Beware, of the big green dragon that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys! Puppy dog tails! Big fat snails! Beware. Take care. Beware!" --Ed Wood
"Hi there! Are you a large person, pleasantly plump, a little on the hefty side perhaps? Well, let's face it, are you fat?" --Back to School
Send more!
Hi everyone. I know that I haven't been updating this much lately, well that's because, as I've said many times before, I'm lazy. But an event has occured that had such an impact on me that I was inspired to update this page. You see, a certain woman lost her mind and did something she shouldn't have. No, I'm not talking about Phil Hartman's wife (although what she did was pretty crazy too)...I'm talking about Geri Halliwell, aka Ginger Spice. As most of you probably know, she's left the Spice Girls. I know this is very upsetting and it will be difficult to go on with life, but let us all look at the positive aspects of this tragedy: for one thing, she was the ugly Spice Girl....but being 64 years old, we can't blame her. Also, the band will probably lose popularity and die now, making the millions of people who despise the Spice Girls happy. Of course, those who like the Spice Girls would think that they're out of luck. But this is not so...Sporty Spice, not only the best looking one, but also the most talented singer, is rumoured to have already completed the music to a solo album which is just waiting to have the vocals filled in. This means that people who enjoy the crappy music of the Spice Girls can get more crappy music from Sporty Spice, but since she's solo there won't be the annoying attitude and merchandaise to go along with it. Therefore, Geri's departure is a happy jolly fun thing for everyone. Yay!
(Time Check: It is now June of 1998)
A few things. First of all, as most of you have probably heard, Chris Farley is dead. That sucks a whole lot, he was an entertaining man. Second: the new Jame Bond movie, Tomorrow Never Dies, is really good. Way better than Goldeneye. I recommend it. Third: 5 more sleeps till Christmas! Woohoo!
Oof! It's only 10 days until Christmas. That's not very many days at all...so it's time to get shopping. Oh and while you're bored, go here. It's like...the 12 days of Christmas. Kind of.
A boy named Floats found the secret page after searching for it for many many hours. Apparantly he doesn't have much of a social life. Well anyway Floats, your name is now in my Thing of the Day. This is your free gift. Enjoy.
This week is the week of the white ribbon campaign. At least it is around here....it says on the official web page that it's already over. Oh well. The campaign is for fighting violence against women. 'Tis a good cause, so I'll put a white ribbon on my web page for the next week.
I recieved this strange e-mail from a troubled young boy who calls himself Seana. He is a warrior princess.
In the beginning there was nothing....then there was the neutral head. Now the neutral head grew and multiplied and set forth into the universe. But as the millenia passed the neutral heads grew bored of the endless dark, and so they said, "Let there be light, and there was". Now for the first time the neutral heads could see the millions of blank, staring eyes, and this disturbed them greatly. Things were this way for a long time, and then one day one of the neutral heads just snapped. He was no longer neutral he was sad and lonely. So he decided to make a friend. First he created the heavens and the earth, and then he filled them with all manner of creatures. When he was done, he saw that it was good. But he was he was still lonely, so he decided to create a being so great that it will be his equal. And so he created Phronk in the image of Paul Simon. When he saw his creation the neutral head was so overjoyed that he smiled for the first and last time. When the other neutral heads saw that one of them was no longer neutral they became enraged and bludgeoned him with their pellows until he was almost dead. Then they banished him to the center of the giant balloon that is the cosmos, where is forced to carry heavy strudes for all eternity. Next the neutral heads came to destroy what the rogue head had created, but when they beheld Phronk they were so amazed that they forgot all about destroying him and they just stared. In time the Phronk multiplied and his descendants spread across the face of the earth. And in the sky the tiny white eyes of the great neutral heads can still be seen staring down at Phronk. --From 'The Gospel According To Seana'
Hey kids! It's Wednesday...mmmm...hump day. I'm just writing random thoughts today because there's nothing exciting to share with you. Did you know that it's pretty much impossible to find a picture of a poppy on the internet? Sheesh, if you want something done right you gotta do it yourself.
Yet another movie review: Starship Troopers: ST kicks a whole lot of bum. It has some of the best special effects I've ever seen and lots of entertaining action. There's also lots of violence (which is very realistic thanks to the great special effects) and a bit of sex....oh, and a bit of plot too, although it focuses on character developement more than an actual story. Yep, so I'd defintely say that ST is worth seeing, especially on the big screen.
Another movie review: The Devil's Advocate: This movie really wasn't what I expected. I thought it would be a legal drama type thing with the added twist of Satan (Al Pacino) being the head of the law firm. Well...that's part of it, but there's a lot more to the movie. And it's really good. Keanu Reeves actually isn't that bad of an actor in TDA, and Al Pacino is awesome. At times it's genuinely disturbing, and I'm surprised it wasn't rated R (in Canada, anyway). The special effects are subtle and fit in with the movie without taking the focus off of the characters and plot. So I liked TDA a lot. Yay, two thumbs up.
Here's a cool page: BLAH. It has some really nice computer generated art fitting with the Halloween theme.
| A movie review: I Know What You Did Last Summer: OK obviously this movie's gonna be compared to Scream, last year's extremely well done horror movie. The trailer keeps telling us that it's from the creator of Scream, that it's even more scary than Scream, that IKWYDLS kicks Scream's ass so you should go see it. Well kids, sometimes TV lies. IKWYDLS (damn that's a long abbreviation) is very scary at times, especially in a theater where everyone screams in unison at startling parts, but not quite as disturbing as Scream. It's not the kind of scary that stays with you for weeks after seeing the movie, but for a good scare while you're watching it, IKWYDLS delivers. The plot and character interaction are kinda stupid sometimes, but does that really matter in a horror movie? Overall, it's no Scream but IKWYDLS is still a good horror movie. | (There used to be a picture here) |
Happy thanksgiving to everyone in Canada! Remember to check and make sure the turkey's dead before you eat it!
Halloween is coming soon, so that means it's time for this homepage to have a new look. People who have been following this homepage for a while will recognize a few things. It's hard to believe that it's been a year since the old homepage looked like this, it seems like it's only been ... like... 11 months. Well, enjoy, and stay tuned for more Halloween stuff.
Ya know...I really don't mind that new song by The Rolling Stones, Anybody Seen My Baby. Sure, they're getting old and should die to make room for newer bands (actually, Keith Richards is already dead), but they can still make some decent music. Yeah so that's my little song review.
(November 1997)