Another night at the palace
'Cause there is nothing else to do
The same people, the same drinks
And the same music,
The same quicksand
I think this harbor town is waist deep
And sinking fast
Hello city,
You've found an enemy in me
Hello city, hello city
Second night at the Warehouse
And my mock turtle neck just reeks
From the liquor room to the change room
To the doom and gloom
Of the hotel room
I wish this seaside bear hall would
Sink into the bay
Chorus
Maybe I caught you at a bad time
Maybe I should call you back next week
Maybe half the fault is mine that
The sun didn't shine on Barrington Street
It's three o' clock in the morning
And I'm hungry so lets eat
Climb down three flights to the street lights
And the bar fights, we're just taking in the sights
I hope tomorrow that I wake up in my own bed
chorus
What a good place to be, don't believe them
Cause they speak a different language
And it's never been happy for me
It's happy hour again
Hello city, Hello city

Enid

Enid we never really knew each other anyway
Enid we never really knew each other anyway
It took me a year to believe it was over
It took me two more to get over the loss
I took a beating when you wrote me those letters
And every time I remembered the taste of your lipgloss
Chorus>
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway
But Enid we never really knew each other anyway
There were times when I wanted to hurt you
And there were times when I know that I did
There were times when I thought I would kill you
But can you blame me I was only a kid
Tell me why we never really respected each other
And tell me why I never believed you were a person too
I always thought that you fancied my brother
I may not of liked it, oh but memory is a strange thing
Oh, and Enid?
Enid I remember you
Chorus
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway
But Enid we never really knew each other anyway
It took me a year to believe it was over
And it took me two more to get over the loss
I took a beating when you wrote me those letters
And every time you told me to get lost
Now it's not fair to say that it's cause I was three inches
Shorter then
And it's not fair to say that it's cause I was only fifteen
Years old
But maybe it's fair to say there was a lack of communication
I took a phone message, oh and speaking of communication
Oh, and Enid, Enid you caught a cold
I can get a job I can pay the phone bills
I can cut the lawn cut my hair cut out my colesterol
I can work overtime I can work in a mine, I can do it all for you
But I don't want to
Teach you how to dance, how to sing
How to make things that you never ever made before
Teach you how to use cookie cutters to make crazy things out of
Play-doh
Little houses, little farms, little accesories for your mom
For your Barbie set, for your friends and your family
Teach you how to snow-mobile, cross-country ski, snow-shoe,
But I don't want to

Grade 9

I found my locker and I found my classes
Lost my lunch and I broke my glasses
That guy is huge!  That girl is wailin'!
First day of school and I'm already failing
This is me in Grade 9, baby, this is me in Grade 9
This is me in Grade 9, baby, this is me in Grade 9
I've got a blue and red Adidas bag and a humongous binder
I'm trying my best not to look like a minor niner
I went out for the football team to prove that I'm a man
Guess I shouldn't tell them that I like Duran Duran
Chorus
Well half my friends are crazy and the others are depressed
And none of them can help me study for my math test
I got into the classroom and my knowledge was gone
I guess I should have studied instead of watching Wrath of Khan
Chorus
They called me chicken legs, they called me four-eyes
They called me fatso, they called me buckwheat
They called me Eddie
chorus
I've got a red leather tie and a pair of luger pants
I put them on and I went to the high school dance
Dad said I have to be home by eleven
Aw man, I'm gonna miss Stairway to Heaven
Chorus

Brian Wilson

Drove downtown in the rain
nine-thirty on a Tuesday night
Just to check out the late-night record shop
Call it impulsive, call it compulsive, call it insane
But when I'm surrounded I just can't stop
It's a matter of instinct, it's a matter of conditioning,
It's a matter of fact
You can call me Pavlov's dog
Ring a bell and I'll salivate-How'd you like that?
Dr. Landy tell me your not just a pedagogue
'Cause right now I'm
Lying in bed, just like Brian Wilson did
Well I'm lying in bed, just like Brian Wilson did
So I'm lying here, just staring at the ceiling tiles
Just thinking about what to think about
Just listening and relistening to Smiley-Smile
And I'm wondering if this is some kind of creative drought
Because I'm
Chorus
And if you want to find me I'll be out in the sandbox
Wondering where the hell the love has gone
Playing my guitar and building castles in the sun
And singing "Fun, Fun, Fun"
chorus
I had a dream that I was three hundred pounds
And though I was very heavy, I floated 'til 
I couldn't see the ground
I floated till I couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me, I couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me, I couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me, because I'm
Chorus
Drove downtown in the rain
nine-thirty on a Tuesday night
Just to check out the late-night record shop
Call it impulsive, call it compulsive, call it insane
But when I'm surrounded I just can't stop

Be My Yoko Ono

If there's someone you can live without, then do so
And if there's someone you can just shove out, do so
You can be my Yoko Ono
You can follow me where ever I go
Be my, be my, be my Yoko Ono
Isn't it beautiful to see two people so much in love?
Barenaked as two virgins hand in hand and hand in hand in glove
Now that you're far away, it doesn't seem to me to be such a pain
To have you hanging of my ankle like some kinda ball and chain
Chorus
Oh no, here we go, our life is one big pun
Oh no, here we go, as Yoko sings
Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I know that when I'm saying this
I may be stepping on pens and needles
But I don't like all those people slagging her
For breaking up the Beatles
(Don't blame it on Yokey!)
If I was John and you were Yoko
I would gladly give up music genius
Just to have you as my very own personal Venus
(Hit it)
Chorus

Wrap Your Arms Around Me

I concede you were right about this place
I can make a perfect likeness of your body if I trace
I can hold you until you turn out the light
And I can't see
Do you believe that we are all innately good
Do you think that you would love me
Until tomorrow if you could
Would you please turn down the radio
So we can speak
I put my hands around your neck and you wrap your arms around me
I put my hands around your neck and you wrap your arms around me
I put my hands around your neck and you wrap your arms around me
I regret every time I raised my voice
And it wouldn't be that bright of me to say I had no choice
I can kiss your eyes, your hair, your neck
Until we forget
I concede that you were right about this place
I can make a perfect likeness of your body if I trace
I can hold you until we turn out the light
And I can't see
I can't see

What a Good Boy

When I was born, they looked at me and said
"What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy"
And when you were born, they looked at you and said
"What a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl"
We've kept these chains, hang 'round our necks
People want to strangle us with them 
Before we take our first breath
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same
When temptation calls, we just look away
This name is the hairshirt I wear
And this hair shirt is woven from your brown hair
This song is the cross that I bear, bear with me, bear with me
Bear with me, Be with me tonight
I know that it isn't right
Be with me tonight
I go to school, I write exams
If I pass if I fail if I drop out, does anyone give a damn
And if they do, they'll soon forget
'Cause it won't take much from me to show
That my life ain't over yet
I wake up scared, I wake up strange
I wake up wondering if anything aroumd me is ever going to change
I wake up scared, I wake up strange
And everything around me stays the same
Chorus
I couldn't tell you I was wrong
Chickened out with the pen and the paper
Sat down and I wrote this song
I couldn't tell you you were right
So instead I looked in the mirror, I watched TV
Laid awake all night
We've kept these chains, hang 'round our necks
People want to strangle us with them 
Before we take our first breath
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same
When temptation calls...
Chorus
When I was born, they looked at me and said
"What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy"
And when you were born, they looked at you and said
"What a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl, hey"

The King of Bedside Manor

You know he's not the kind of man
Who likes to see the world around him
Crumble to a ball around his feet
So he's always ready, he's always set, he's always well prepared
He's the most peculiar man you care to meet
You know he's not the king of bedside manor
He's not the Tom Jones that lives next door
He's not the king of bedside manor
He hardly even lives there anymore
He says "Excuse me, I hope you don't mind
That I followed  you into this shop
But I couldn't help but notice that riding crop
Sticking out of your haversack
Um, I wouldn't mind riding you bareback"
he subtle on the dance floor and he's suave around the bar
He's a quick draw with a lighter, he's a pseudo movie star
You know he was quite a singer, quite and actor
Quite some time ago
He had quite a famous program, late night bedtime TV show
Chorus
Well he opens up the curtains at the crack of dawn
Just to see the lovely ladies who have come and gone
From the house next door to his house on the lane
He consoles himself that he's got his health
And he knows he can't complain
Chorus
He's not the king of bedside manor
He's not the king of bedside manor
Hardly even lives there anymore
Styx!
Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto
he's not the king, he's not the king, he's not the king
Of bedside manor

Box Set

I never thought that you would love me the way that you do
I never thought that you would love me half as much as I do
You say you want to know everything about me
Where he you go
You say you couldn't live your life without me
I don't know
But if you want it girl, you got it
It's all right here in my box set
I never thought that words like product would ever leave my lips
But something happened to me somewhere
That made me loose my grip
Maybe it's a lack of inspiration that makes me stoop
Or maybe it's a lack of renumeration; I can't recoup
But if you want it folks, you got it, its all right here
In my box set
Disk One, it's where we've begun, it's all my greatest hits
and if you are a fan then you know that you already got 'em
Disk Two, it was all brand new, and album's worth of songs
But we had to leave te whole disk blank
Because some other label bought 'em
Disk Three, This is really me in a grade school play
I had about a hundred thousand lines but of course
I forgot 'em
I never thought there'd be days like this
There was always someone at my door
I never though I would ever miss
The crowd would always holler for mor
But now it seems all that people want is what I used to be
And everytime I try to do something new all they want is 1973
I never thought I'd be regretful for all my past success
But some stupid number one hit single has got me in this mess
You can put it on every compilation-that's all right
You can hear it on the oldies radio station every night
And if you want it, again, you've got it
It's all right here in my box set
Disk four, never released before, and you can tell why
It's just some demos I recorded in my basement
Disk five, I was barely alive, I was hacking up a lung
So they had to use a special computer as my replacement
Disk six, a dance remix, I can catch the latest trend
And it'll make you scratch your head and
Wonder where my taste went
So now my fans are crying sellout, they say I've lost my touch
They say I should just get the hell out before I do too much
Hear my songs in an add for a bathroom cleanser
They say it's greed
And now I'm wondering where my friends are in this time of need
But if you change your mind and buy it
I hope you enjoy my new box, I hope you enjoy my new box
I hope you enjoy my new box set

I Love You

I love you, and you love me
I love you, so let's make a family tree
I like soup, and I like ice cream sandwhiches too
I like fishsticks, but I love you
You don't believe me, you say all I think about's myself
Well let me explain, don't walk away
I love me, and you love you
I love me, so what are we to do?
How would you know that I love you so
I don't say too much
Why are you blue whenever I'm in town
I guess life was fine till I came 'round
You've given me a start
I ain't no doctor but look at the chart for my heart
Like a dart from the start I'm coming down with something good
It ain't no fever or flu, the doctor said it had to be someone
With brown hair, and blue eyes, I'm lovesick for you I realize
I's loves you, and youse loves me
I's loves you, so let's make a family tree
How did you know that I loved you so
I don't say too much
why are you blue whenever I'm in town
I guess life was fine till I came 'round
Chorus

New Kid (On The Block)

I didn't ask to be famous, but I'm not sore
'Cause you can see my face in the window of every store
You can buy my lunchbox, you can wear my clothes
You can remember my name just as plain as the face
Under your nose
I'm a New Kid on the Block
Though I may not be Johann Sebastian Bach
So we may not write the songs we sing
But look at Elvis he sold his soul and you crowned him King
I didn't ask to be famous, but I'm not sad
You see, I've got everything that I always wished I had
I thank my manager and I thank the screaming girls
I think my hairdresser for giving me such beautiful curls
Now I'm a New Kid on the Block
Well I'm twenty-three and they won't let me grow up
I went down to register for the draft
Well I got up to the counter, and the lady there just laughed
She said "You're a New Kid on the Block
Young girls scream and old boys mock
Well you broke my youngest daughter's heart
I new you Kids were trouble from the start
I didn't ask to be famous, but I'm not sure
That we're as apple pie as you always thought we were
I can stay up al night, I can have a blast
I can break dance, I can fight, I can kick your sorry ass
I'm a New Kid on the Block
And though I may not be Johann Sebastian Bach
There's no need to be afraid of us
Though it just might be your daughter on our bus

Blame it on Me

Here we are again
and we're looking at each other like each other are to blame
You think you're so smart but I've seen you naked
I'll probably see you naked again
Milli Vanilli told you to Blame It On The Rain
but if you blame it on the rain tell me what can be gained
So if all else fails you can blame it on me
If all else fails you can blame it on me
If all else fails you can blame it on me
If all else fails, blame it on me
If all else fails you can blame it on me
Then you smile again, but you're looking at me like
There's something I supposed to say
Forgive me, Father, but I've fallen in love
And that's all I have for confession today
Maybe if you'd ask me on any other given day
I wouldn't have time for you or anything that you say
but it's alright now, so you can blame it on me
Chorus
Yes dear I love you, but sometimes I think
That loves not enough for you
So you want to play mind games, well that's fine
Go ahead, la la la I can't hear you
Here you are and you're a hundred thousand miles away
They say that absence makes the heart grow fungus
I wax poetic while you're waxing your legs
You say you think there's a traitor among us
Chorus

The Flag

The phone rings, it's early, it's seven 'o clock
He says "Sorry I woke you but I just had to talk
You know last night, remember when I tried to choke you?
I didn't mean it, I was drunk, it was only a joke"
You should know that by now
When the chequered flag comes down
No one, no one, no one has one the race
The next night he's over and over and under
And after he's finished, she lies there and wonders
Just why does she need him, and why does she stay here
And then in the darkness she'll quietly say "Dear,
You've never really known, that when the white flag is flown
No one, no one, no one has one the war"
They're complicated people leading complicated lives
And he complicates their problems telling complicated lies
He tells her he's sorry, she tells him it's over
He tells her he's sorry, she says over and over
"You've never really known, that when the white flag is flown
No one, no one, no one has won the war"
There goes a forest and there goes a bluebird
There goes a partridge and there goes a Go Train
There goes an angel and there goes a steeple
There goes a cop car and there goes and eagle
There goes a raven and there go the ribbons
There goes a raven and there go the ribbons
There goes a raven and there go the ribbons
There goes a raven and there go
The ribbons, the ribbons, the ribbons
Of the the flag

If I had a $1,000,000

If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for that house (Maybe a nice Chesterfield
Or an Ottoman)
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a K-Car (A nice Reliant automobile)
And if I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love
If I had a million dollars
I'd build a tree fort in our yard
And if I had a million dollars
You could help me wouldn't be that hard
and if I had a million dollars
Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge in there somewhere
We could go up there and just hang out.
Yeah, and like, open the fridge!  And there would be foods laid out for us with little...pre-wrapped sausages and things.
Mmmmmm.
They have pre-wrapped sausages, but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon.
Can you blame them?
Well, yeah!
If I had a million dollars(if I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat; that's cruel)
If I ha da million dollars(if I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you an exotic pet (Yep, like a Llama, or an Emu)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (All them crazy elephant bones)
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
And if I had a million dollars
We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would.
Of course we would, we'd just eat more.
And buy really...expensive ketchups
That's right, all the fanciest Dejoun Ketchups!
Mmmmmmm.
If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress, that's Cruel)
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you some art (a Picasso or a Garfunkel)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
And If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love
If I had a million dollars, if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars, if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars, I'd be rich

Crazy

I climb the walls of my mind just
Like I'm climbing on a jungle gym
I am more than content with 
The state of mind I am in
'Cause I am crazy just like you
I am crazy just like you.
I don't think I need a rubber room,
But hey, that might be nice.
I'm not a manic depressive,
Paranoid or schizophrenic so
I don't need your advice.
I am crazy just like you
I am crazy just like you. 
The lights are on but nobody's home.
My elevator doesn't go to the top.
I'm not playing with a full deck.
I've lost my marbles.
The lights are on but nobody's home.
My elevator doesn't go to the top.
I'm not playing with a full deck.
I've lost my marbles. 
I'm a few bricks short of a load
But a full load always hurt my back.
I flew over the cuckoo's nest and
I'm never ever coming back because
I am crazy just like you
I am crazy just like you.
I am crazy.