1.      Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. 

If he/she says it, say, "Please don't 
mention that word."
2.      When they repeat your order, say, "Again with a little more 
OOMPH this time."
3.      Terminate the call with, "Remember we never had this 
conversation."
4.      Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, 
dead.
5.      If using a touch-tone phone, press random numbers while 
ordering.
Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and 
your going with the lowest bidder.
7.      Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and 
hang up.
8.      Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractional pattern as 
follows from an equation you are 
about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
9.      Answer their questions with questions.
10.     Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
11.     Ask if they're familiar with the term  "spanking a pizza ."  
Make up a description to go with the 
term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
12.      Ask if you get to keep the pizza box.  When they say yes, heave 
a sigh of relief.
13.      Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
14.      Put an extra edge in your voice when you say  "crazy bread."
15.      Stutter on the letter  "p."
16.      Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning 
Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! 
Cheeser!)
17.      Ask what the order taker is wearing.
18.      Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
19.      Say hello, act stunned. Wait a few seconds,  then behave as if 
they called you.
20.      Rattle off your order with a determined air.  If they ask if 
you would like drinks with that, panic 
and become disoriented.
21.      Tell the order taker your depressed.  Get him/her to cheer you 
up.
22.      Make a list of exotic cuisines.  Order them as toppings.
23.      Change your accent every three seconds.
24.      In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the lines about 
nutrition and ask if they have some thing 
outstandishly sinful.
25.      Act like you know the order taker from somewhere.
26.      Start your order with "I'd likeV."  A little later, lap 
yourself and say,  "No, I don't."
27.      If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say, 
"Okay, that'll be $10.99; please 
pull up to the first window."
28.      Rent a pizza.
29.      Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
30.      Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from 
Metallica's Master of Puppets CD
31.      Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the 
long "i" sound.
32.      Have your pizza  "shaken, not stirred."
33.      Say, "Are you sure this is Pizza Place?"  When they say yes, 
say, "Well, so is this! You've got 
some explaining to do!!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in 
fact, Pizza Place, start to cry and 
ask , "Do you know what its like to be lied to?"
34.      Move the mouthpiece further and father and farther from your 
lips as you speak.  When the call 
ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream GOODBYE at the top 
of your lungs.
35.      Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
36.      Imitate the order taker's voice.
37.      Eliminate verbs from your speech.
38.      When they say, "What would you like?," say, "Huh?  Oh, you mean 
now."
39.      Play a guitar in the background.
40.      Say it's your anniversary  and you'd  appreciate if the 
deliverer hid behind some furniture 
waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
41.      Amuse the order taker with little known facts about country 
music.
42.      Ask to see a menu.
43.      Quote Carl Sandberg.
44.      Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call 
back.
45.      Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
46.      Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
47.      Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then thell your dog it 
should be ashamed.
48.      Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
49.      Shout, "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your 
best, Gaston!"
50.      Doze of in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say, 
"Where was I? Who are you?"
51.      Psychoanalyze the order taker.
52.      Ask what hteir phone number is.  Hang up, call them, and ask 
them again.
53.      Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
54.      Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask 
that these be included in the 
pizza.
55.      Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were 
drunk and didn't mean it.
56.      Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor 
he's fired.
57.      Report petty theft to the order taker.
58.      Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and Jesus Joseph and 
Mary Tinsel Town."
59.     Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
60.      If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be 
swayed by your sweet words."
61.      Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.
62.      Try to talk while drinking something.
63.      Start conversation with "My Call to Pizza Place, Take 1, 
andVaction!"
64.      Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
65.      Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
66.      Be vague in your order.
67.      Use a CB lingo where applicable.
68.      If using a touch-tone phone press 9-1-1 every fife seconds 
throughout the order.
69.      After ordering say, "I wonder what THIS button on the phone 
does."
        Simulate a cutoff
70.     Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, 
"This may be my last entry."
71.      State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is 
going to get.
72.      Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST, FREE 
SPIRITED, COST-
EFFECIENT, UKRANIAN, and PUCE.
73.      Say, "Kssssssssssssssht" rather  loudly into the phone. Ask if 
they felt that.
74.      Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your 
advantage.
75.      When listing toppings on your pizza, include another pizza.
76.      Learn to play blues riff on the harmonica.  Stop talking at 
regular intervals to play it.
77.      Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even 
trade.
78.      Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any 
crap from  some two-bit can't-hack-
it pimple-faced gofer.
79.      Put them on hold
80.      Teach the order taker a secret code.  Use the code in  all 
subsequent orders.
81.      Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat."  When asked to repeat 
that you say,  "I said, 
'sauce smothered with meat'."
82.      Make the first topping you order mushroom.  Make the last thing 
you say, "No mushrooms, 
please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
83.      When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is 
repeated again, change it again.. On 
the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?"
84.      When your given the price say, "Ooooooo, that sounds 
complicated. I hate math."
85.      Haggle.
86.      Order a one-inch pizza.
87.      Order term life insurance.
88.      When they say, "Will that be all?," snicker and say, "We'll 
find out, won't  we?
89.     Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.
90.      Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
91.      While on the phone, Fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch 
often; act embarrassed.
92.      Engage in some serious swapping.
93.      Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
94.      Have a movie with a good car chase  scene playing loudly in the 
background.