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Ace Ventura - Pet Detective
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| Mr. Shickadance : | Ventuuurrraaa! |
| Ace Ventura : | Yes, Satan? |
| Mr. Shickadance : | I heard animals in there, scratching around! |
| Ace Ventura : | I never bring my work home with me, sir. |
| Mr. Shickadance : | Then what's all this pet food for? |
| Ace Ventura : | Fiber? |
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| Aguado : | Homicide, Ventura, now how ya gonna solve that one? |
| Ace Ventura : | Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive.
The killer saw the size of the bug's DICK and become insanely jealous. Then I'd lose 40 pounds... PORKIN' his wife! |
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| Lois Einhorn : | Listen, pet dick. How would you like me to make your life a living hell? |
| Ace Ventura : | Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship,
Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then. |
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| Woman : | You really do love animals, don't you? |
| Ace Ventura : | Only if it gets cold enough. |
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| Ace Ventura : | I'm looking for Ray Finkle. |
| [A shotgun cocks and is pointed at his head.] | |
| Ace Ventura : | ...and a clean pair of shorts. |
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