Volume I, Number I

SCOOBY AND HIS COCAIN

In this Editorial I will be talking about the ever-so-popular theory among the drug-induced community, if you really don't know what it is by now you probably are among that drug induced community and are too stoned to realise what your doing. Yes I'm talking about the believers that Scooby Doo is a drug-induced cartoon.

This really pisses me off to hear people talk about this especially on the net, for instance I was reading in some sort of news group and one of the people stated that to truly understand Scooby Doo cartoons You must be stoned, then you will see the true meaning. Now it might be just me but that is the biggest load of B.S. I have ever heard, that is like saying to truly understand the Flintstones you have to watch it when bowling...It makes NO sense. What are you going to miss when your watching Scooby Doo sober, that you wouldn't miss when watching it stoned? I know the pot-heads probably see hidden clues that the artists drew in to try to promote their brand of rolling paper, right? Or maybe the dopers can understand what Scooby is saying and think he is telling them to go out and but more drugs? I think not!

What are some of the reasons that people think it is under the influence of drugs? Well their "reasons" basically are Shaggy, the way he talks, the way he dresses, etc. to address the way he talks, Who doesn't say "like" a lot in this day and age. Does this mean that if I use the word like twice in a sentence I use drugs, well then all I have to say to that is "get your like, head out of the like, clouds. I could have used harsher words but there might be kids reading this. To address the way Shaggy Dresses, if anything his clothing would only show that he doesn't change clothes and nothing else. I'll sum the Shaggy clothing issue up with this: You've all seen the Brady Bunch right? Then you should all know the way Greg Brady dressed right? Then are you druggies telling me that Greg Brady was hooked on acid? I THINK NOT!

Another thing that keeps these Druggies going with this is Scooby. "They" say that Shaggy is the only one who could hear Scooby, well that is just plain 'ol dumb. Anyone who has seen the show can tell you that Scooby is not only heard by everyone but is understood by everyone too! Then there are Scooby Snacks, the fact that Scooby and Shaggy will do anything for those tasty treats leads people into thinking that they are laced with something. Well does this mean that if I really like Crispy Crunch bars, and I will do about anything for a free one, that they are laced with something? NO NO NO it means that...I REALLY LIKE CRISPY CRUNCH BARS!

Lastly is the Mystery Machine, some people say that in the back of the van Scooby and Shaggy were doing heroin or something. I'll answer this by saying that dogs can't and don't do heroin. Show me a dog that can do heroin, and I'll shut my mouth about this subject!

In closing, if you are ever anywhere and you read, overhear, or speak with somebody who thinks that Scooby Doo was made to promote drugs, then just think to yourself, if Scooby Doo was meant for kids, and mostly kids watch it, then are we to believe that somewhere in the world a five year old boy has a marijuana plant growing in his back yard, and a brief case full of cocaine in his tree house? If you answered yes may I suggest that you check into a rehabilitation centre, but if you answered no then may I commend you for being able to see Scooby Doo as a great wholesome cartoon that is probably one of the most famous cartoons ever, because it was a good CARTOON not a good drug promoter!

Thank you for taking the time to read what I had to say and as always send your hate mail, or love mail to: chetner@total.net

-Jonathan Chetner