[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, Monica, Joey and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is about to sing and Rachel is about to introduce her.] RACHEL: Everybody. Shh, shhh. Err, Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay. [All cheer and applaud] ROSS: [Just off camera] Alright!!!! PHOEBE: Thanks. Hi, erm I want to start with a song that`s about that moment when you suddenly realise. . . . what life is really all about. OK, here we go. [Phoebe is all ready to start to sing. She strums the guitar.and then the power goes off.] PHOEBE: OK thank you very much. [Scene: Cuts to Chandler in an ATM vestibule. He starts to walk towards the door to leave, and the power goes off, the lights go out, then flicker back on.] CHANDLER: What? [He grabs the door handle and shakes it, the doors are locked] CHANDLER: Oh great ! This is just. [ He turns and sees that he locked in the ATM vestibule with a beautiful woman ( the famed Victoria`s Secret model Jill Goodacre). He turns back and makes a GREAT gesture with his arms and hands.] CHANDLER: [mouths to himself quietly] ..GREAT!!!!! OPENING TITLES [SCENE:Monica and Rachels appartment, Ross, Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are there. Rachel is looking out of the window.] RACHEL: Wow, this is so cool you guys, the entire city is blacked out. [Monica is on the phone to her Mom] MONICA: Mom says it`s all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens and they have no idea when it`s coming back on. RACHEL: Wow, you guys this is big. MONICA: Pants and a sweater, why Mom, . . . . who am I going to meet in a blackout, power company guys, eligable looters, . . . can we talk about this later? Ok. [Monica puts the phone down] PHOEBE: Can I borrow the phone, I want to call my apartment and check on my Grandma.. Wait what`s my number? W well I never call me! [SCENE: Cuts back to Chandler in the ATM vestibule] CHANDLER: ( Voice over. Thinking to himself ) Oh my God, it`s her, it`s that Victoria`s Secret model.. something, something Goodacre..... [Jill is on her mobile phone] JILL: Hi Mom, it`s Jill. CHANDLER: ( Voice over. ) She`s right it`s Jill, Jill Goodacre. Oh my God I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre, is it a vestibule? Maybe it`s an atrium, oh yeah, that is the part to focus on you idiot! JILL: Yeah I`m fine, I`m just stuck at the bank, at an ATM vestibule. CHANDLER: ( Voice over. ) Jill says vestibule, I`m going with vestibule. JILL: I`m fine, no I`m not alone, I dunno know some guy. CHANDLER: ( Voice over. ) Oh, some guy.I`m some guy. Hey Jill I saw you with some guy last night, yes he was SOME guy. ( As he is saying this to himself, he starts to walk towards Jill, smiling. Jill gives him a strange look, and he turns back and pretends to dance) [SCENE: Cuts back to Monica and Rachels apartment, Joey enters carrying a lit menorah, he starts to walk across the room, and the others give him strange looks.] JOEY: Hi everyone. ROSS: And effciating at tonights blackout is Rabbi Tribbiani. [Joey places the menorah by the television] JOEY: Well, Chandler`s old room mate was Jewish and these are the only candles we have so, Happy Hanukkah everyone! PHOEBE: Eww look, ugly naked guy lit a bunch of candles. [All go over to the window] ALL: Ewwww ALL:Oooooo RACHEL: Ooo Ooo. That had to hurt. [SCENE: Cuts back to Chandler in the ATM vestibule, he is looking at his watch.] CHANDLER: ( Voice over. ) Alright, alright, alright it`s been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word, oh God do something, just make contact, smile ( Chandler smiles. Jill turns to see him smiling, she smiles back, Chandler carries on smiling.) CHANDLER: There ya go. ( Chandler continues to smile, Jill looks worried .. Chandler stops smiling.) You`re definitely scaring her. JILL: Er, would you like to call somebody? CHANDLER: (Voice over. ) Yeah, `bout three hundred guys I went to high school with. ( Now speaking to Jill) Yeah, thanks. ( Chandler takes the phone from Jill. ) [Chandler dials Monica`s number on the phone.] [SCENE: Cuts to Monica`s apartment, the phone is ringing and Monica answers.] MONICA: Hello. CHANDLER: Hey it`s me. MONICA: ( To the others in the apartment. ) It`s Chandler. PHOEBE: ( Quietly in the background. ) Oh. MONICA: Are you ok? CHANDLER: Yeah, I`m fine. . . . . ( In a muffled voice. ) I`m trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre. MONICA: What? CHANDLER: ( Still muffled. ) I`m trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Good-acre! MONICA: I have no idea what you just said. CHANDLER: ( Normal Voice. ) Put Joey on the phone!!! [Monica hands the phone to Joey.] JOEY: What`s up man? CHANDLER: ( Muffled ) I`m trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill ( Extremely Muffled.) WOODACREAAH!!!!!!!! JOEY: ( Very excited, in disbelief.) Oh my God . . . . ( Joey points rapidly at the phone.) he`s trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre. Chandler listen, listen ( Now Joey speaks in a muffled voice.) Hurm hur hur hurm hur hur ahur hur. ( Totally unrecognisable. ) CHANDLER: Yeah, like that thought never entered my mind. [SCENE: Back at Monica and Rachels apartment, all are there ( except Chandler ) sitting on the couches. RACHEL: Ok ok, somebody somebody. PHOEBE: Come on. JOEY: Go. MONICA: Alright, I`ll go I`ll go JOEY:Ok. MONICA: Ok erm, senior year of college. . . . on a pool table! JOEY: Whoo hoo hoooo!! RACHEL: A pool table? PHOEBE: Whoa! ROSS: That`s my sister. JOEY: Ok, Ok my weirdest place would have to beeee. . . the womens room on the second floor of the New York city public library. MONICA: Oh my God, what were you doing in a library? [Rachel laughs] ROSS: Hey Phebes, what about you? PHOEBE: Oh erm. . . . Milwauke. [Everyone gives Phoebe a strange look] RACHEL: Er Rossss? ROSS: ( Intake of breath and clears his throat. ) Er, Disneyland, ( Rachel gasps. )1989, it`s a small world after all. . . . MONICA: ( Laughs) PHOEBE: No way! JOEY: No waaay! ROSS: Yeah, the er, ride broke down, er so Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children, and they, they fixed the ride and we were asked never to return to the magic kingdom! PHOEBE: Ooo Rachel! RACHEL: Oh come on, I already went. JOEY: No no no. MONICA: You did not go, come on. RACHEL: Yes I did! JOEY: Come on. MONICA: Come on, tell us. RACHEL: Come on. JOEY: Come on. RACHEL: Alright, errrr the weirdest place. . . . would have to beeee. . . . oh . . . the foot of the bed. ROSS: Step back! JOEY: We have a winner! [SCENE: Time lapse.Ross and Rachel are talking. Joey is sitting on the chair, while Monica and Phoebe are out on the balcony.] RACHEL: Huh, I`ve just never. . . had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where, where you have to have somebody right there in the middle of a theme park. ROSS: Well it was the only thing to do there, that didn`t have a line. RACHEL: Alright well, see, I mean, Barry wouldn`t even kiss me on a minature golf course. ROSS: Come on. RACHEL: No..he said we were holding up the people behind us. ( Rachel sighs ) ROSS: And you didn`t marry him be-cause? RACHEL: I mean d`you think. there are people that go through life never having that kind of. ROSS: Probably. RACHEL: Really? ROSS: But, but, you know I`ll tell you something, passion is way over rated. RACHEL: Yeah, right! ROSS: It is, er eventually it kinds of burns out, but hopefully what you are left with is trust and security and er, well in the case of my ex-wife. . . . .lesbianism! So you know for all those people who miss out on that er, passion thing, there`s all that other good stuff. RACHEL: ( Sighs ) Ok. ROSS: But er, I don`t think that`s gonna be you. . . . RACHEL: You don`t ? ROSS: Umm, see I see, er, big. . . . . . passion in your future. RACHEL: Really? ROSS: Umm RACHEL: Ya do? ROSS: I do. RACHEL: Oh Ross, your so great, nuh. ( Rachel gets up and ruffles Ross`s hair and then walks off. Ross now looks very pleased with himself. He gets up and starts to walk passed Joey.) JOEY: It`s never gonna happen. ROSS: What? JOEY: You and Rachel! ROSS: Wha.Huh Hea. . . whadda..me, un, ra..wadda..uhtur. . . .why not? JOEY: Be-cause you waited too long tomake your move, and now your in the friend zone! ROSS: No no no, I am not the zone JOEY: No, Ross your mayor of the zone! ROSS: Look I`m takin` my time, alright, I`m, I`m, I`m laying the ground work, yeah, I mean every day I get just a little bit closer to.. JOEY: Priesthood!!!! Look Ross, I`m tellin` ya she has no idea what your thinkin` and if you don`t ask her out soon, you`re gonna end up stuck in the zone..forever! ROSS: I will, I will, I`m just, see I`m just waiting for the, er, right moment. (Joey looks at Ross, in disbelief.) What. what now? JOEY: Yeaaahhh!!! What`s messing you up, the wine, the candles, the moonlight, huh you just got to go up to her and you gotta say look Rachel, I think th. [Rachel returns from the bathroom] ROSS: Shhhhh JOEY & ROSS: Shhhhh shhh shhhhh RACHEL: What are we Shushing? ROSS: We`re shushing, because we`re, we`re trying to, to hear ( quietly ) something. RACHEL: What? JOEY: Erm, shush. RACHEL: What? ROSS: Duh don`t you hear that? RACHEL: Ahhhhhhohhh. ROSS: See? RACHEL:Ur huh ( Rachel looks blank. ) [SCENE: Cuts back to chandler at the bank.] JILL: Would you like some gum? CHANDLER: Oh is it sugarless? JILL: Oh sorry it`s not. CHANDLER: Oh,then no thanks. ( Voice over. ) What the hell was that, mental note if Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it, if she offers you mangled animal carcass you take it! [SCENE: Time lapse. Cuts back to Monica and Rachels apartment, Phoebe is singing.] PHOEBE: # New york city has no power and the milk is getting sour, but to me it is not scary, `cause I stay away from dairy, . . . . a la la la la la la la la la la la. # [Monica comes in from the balcony to her bedroom.] ROSS: Ok, here goes. JOEY: You gonna do it? ROSS: I`m gonna do it. JOEY: You want me to help? ROSS: You come out there, your a dead man! JOEY: Ross, Ross, good luck man. ROSS: Thanks! ( Joey shakes Ross`s hand and then hugs him. ) Ok? JOEY: Ok. JOEY & ROSS: Ok. [Ross goes out on to the balcony, to where Rachel is. Joey goes over to sit by the window. Monica comes out of her bedroom wearing a coat.] JOEY: Hey, where`re you going? MONICA: Outside. JOEY: No no, you can`t go out there. MONICA: Why not? JOEY: Because of er, the, reason. MONICA: And that would be? JOEY: I, er, I can`t tell ya. MONICA: Joey, what`s goin` on? JOEY: Ok, listen, you gotta promise you`ll never ever tell Ross that I told you. MONICA: About what? JOEY: He`s planning your birthday party. MONICA: Oh my God, I love him. JOEY: And you better act surprised! PHOEBE: ( Over hearing. ) About what? MONICA: My surprise party! PHOEBE: What surprise party? MONICA: Ohh stop it! Joey already told me. PHOEBE: Well he didn`t tell me! JOEY: Hey, don`t look at me, this is Ross`s thing. PHOEBE: This is so typical, I`m always the last one to know everything! MONICA: Oh, you are not, we tell you stuff. PHOEBE: Ya hur! I was the last one to know. When Chandler got bit by the peacock at the zoo, I was the last to know, when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in! [Monica stares at Phoebe and waves frantically behind Joey.] JOEY: What?? PHOEBE: Ohh Ohh, looks like I was the second to last. [Joey starts to laugh, Monica takes off her coat.] [SCENE: Cuts to Ross and Rachel on the balcony.] ROSS: (sighs) RACHEL: Erm, so nice. ROSS: Um,hey,I have a question, well er, actually it`s not so much a question as more of a general wondering....ment. RACHEL: Ok. ROSS: Ok, huh, here goes.Um, well for a while now, I`ve been wanning to um.... RACHEL: Ohhhhh. ROSS: Yes, yes, that`s, that`s right. [Rachel notices a cat on a ledge behind Ross] RACHEL: Ohhh look at that little girl ohhh. ROSS: What? [The cat jumps from the ledge on to Ross`s shoulder] ROSS: Ohhhhhaahhhhhhh!!!!!!! [SCENE: Cuts back to inside the apartment, where Phoebe is leading Joey and Monica in a rendition of "Top of the World"] JOEY, PHOEBE & MONICA: # Top of the world, lookin`, down on creation, and the only explanation I can find, is the love I`ve found, ever since you`ve been around ( While they are singing, fur is flying out on the balcony, Ross is trying to lose the cat, by jumping up the down in a frantic panic!!!!) [SCENE: Time lapse. Everyone is stood round the kitchen table and Ross is receiving medical attention from Monica. Chandler is still at the bank. MONICA: Right, this is just Bactine, it won`t hurt. [Joey, who is leaning over Ross with a candle, accidently lets a drip of wax fall on to Ross`s neck.] ROSS: Ou! Ou! JOEY: Ooo, sorry that was wax. PHOEBE: Ooh, this poor little tuti is scared to death! We should find his owner. ROSS: Why don`t we just put the poor little TUTI out in the hall? RACHEL: During a blackout? She`ll get trampled! ROSS: Yeahh? [SCENE: Back at the bank.] CHANDLER: You know on second thoughts gum would be perfection! ( Takes a stick of gum from Jill. Chandler hardly believing what he just said goes into voice over mode. ) Gum would be perfection, GUM would be perfection, coulda said gum would be nice, could of said I`ll have a stick, but no no no no for me, GUM is PERFECTION!…….. I loathe my-self. ( At this point Chandler goes over to a counter and covers his head in shame. ) [SCENE: Cuts back to Rachel and Phoebe searching out in the halls of their building, knocking on various doors. ) RACHEL: ( About to knock on a door ) Oh, no the Melons, they hate all living things! PHOEBE: Oh. [They move on to the next door, and knock. A strange man answers. ) RACHEL: Hi, we just found this cat, and we er, looking for the owner. MAN: Umm yeah, It`s er, It`s mine. PHOEBE: Well, he seems to hate you, are you sure? MAN: Yeah, It`s my cat, give me my cat. PHOEBE: Well, er, wait a minute, what`s his name? MAN: Er, Ba Buttons. RACHEL: Bob buttons? MAN: Ah huh, Bob Buttons, here Bob Buttons. PHOEBE: ( The cat jumps out of Phoebe`s arms, and disappears down the hall. ) Ooo, ..ahh, you are a very BAD man! RACHEL: Cah. [Rachel and Phoebe walk off to try and catch the cat.] MAN: ( Leaning out of his door. ) You owe me a cat! ( He shuts his door. ) [SCENE: Cuts to Rachel on her own in the dark hallway, with only one candle, searching for the cat.] RACHEL: Here kitty kitty kitty, here kitty kitty, where`d ya go little kitty kitty kitty. ( Rachel tries calling the cat by making a kind of kissing sound. ) Kitty, kitty, kitty, come `ere kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty.. kitty ( Rachel comes across a pair of legs in the dark, she moves slowly upwards. ) kitty..hi? ( Rachel is now face to face with a man in the corridor. ) MAN 2: Bwensa sear. RACHEL: Oh wow! ( She blows out her candle, with her sigh. ) [SCENE: Cuts back to the apartment, where Ross, Monica and Joey are playing monopoly.] ROSS: Come on, lucky sixes! [Rachel enters the apartment with the man she met in the hallway by her side.] RACHEL: Everybody, this is Paolo. ( Ross is stunned. ) Paolo I want you to meet my friends, this is Monica ( They walk over to where they are playing. ) MONICA: ( Shaking Paolo by his hand. ) Hi. RACHEL: And Joey. ( They shake hands. ) MONICA: Hi. ( Trying to get Paolo`s attention. ) JOEY: ( Quietly ) Alright? RACHEL: And, and Ross. MONICA: Hi. ( Still trying to get Paolo`s attention. ) PAOLO: ( He speaks Italian. ) Regat se son a pina viv vanta to be pino so va vinchi so ramon tu pase tu. RACHEL: Hur, hur hur, he doesn`t speak much English. ( Rachel is rubbing her hands up and down his arm. ) [Paolo looks down at the table.] PAOLO: Mon Op Poleeeee!! RACHEL: Ohhhh, look at that. ROSS: ( Ross tuts. ) So, er, where did er, Paolo come from .. RACHEL: Oh, ..Italy, I think? Hur hur hur. ROSS: No, I mean, tonight in the building, suddenly into our lives? RACHEL: Well, the that cat, the ca cat, turned out to be Paolo`s cat, Int that funny. I think it`s his cat. ROSS: Oh hur, that that, is funny and Rachel keeps touching him. [Rachel rubs Paolo arms some more. Phoebe enters the apartment. ] PHOEBE: Alright, I looked all over the building and I couldn`t find the kitty anywhere. RACHEL: Oh I found him. It was Paolo`s cat. PHOEBE: Ahh, well, there ya go, last to know again, and I`m guessing since no body told me this is Paolo. RACHEL: Oh Paolo, this is Phoebe. PAOLO: Oh. PHOEBE: Hi. PAOLO: Phoebe an ca tu belissimo ser setta tuti caus a wella mitros veri at la proc -crete. PHOEBE: You bet ya! [SCENE: Cuts back to the bank. Chandler is try to think of something to do to impress Jill.] CHANDLER: ( Voice over. ) What next?.I know, blow a bubble, a bubbles good, it`s got a boyish charm, it`s impish! ( He goes to blow a bubble. )here we go. ( But he ends up spitting the gum on to the counter. ) Nice goin` IMP. Ok, ok It`s, It`s ok, all I need to do is reach over and put it back in my mouth, ( Chandler reaches over the counter, to retrieve the gum, but in order not to attract Jill`s attention to what he is doing, he doesn`t look at what his hand is doing. He picks up some gum off the counter, and puts it discreetly in to his mouth. ) Good save! We`re back on track and I`m.... [ He chews the gum a bit.] chewing some elses gum!!!!!! This is not my gum! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! .....and now your choking! Caac. ( Chandler starts to choke. ) Caac. JILL: Are you alright? [Chandler makes a OK gesture with his hands and smiles, while choking.] JILL: Oh my God, your choking. ( Jill gets up quickly and goes over to Chandler. She then performs the Hiemlich manoeuvre and the gum shoots out of his mouth. ) CHANDLER: Err...Hurr. JILL: Better? CHANDLER: Eh hur, yes, ( Chandler clears his throat .) Thank you, that was, that was.... JILL: Perfection? CHANDLER: Tayeah! [SCENE: Cuts back to the apartment. Paolo is talking to Rachel in Italian, while looking out of the window and pointing to the night sky. ) PAOLO: Guarda da lunar, guarda da stelle, gua tu tal cause a belle. [Cuts back to Ross with Joey in the kitchen watching Paolo and Rachel with disgust. ) ROSS: Blur blur blur blur blurrrrr, blur blur blur blur, blur blur blur blur, blur blur lur lur lur lurrrrrrrrrrr. [Paolo and Rachel finish talking by the window and Rachel makes her way over to the kitchen area.] RACHEL: Hur hur hur hur. Er Ohhhhh. ROSS: Hey, what did he say that was so funny? RACHEL: I have absolutely no idea. ROSS: That`s, that`s classic! RACHEL: Oh my God, you guys, whata my doin` whata my doin` this is so un-meeeeee? MONICA: If you want, I`ll do it. PHOEBE: Oh I know, I just want to bite his bottom lip, ( Monica and Rachel both look at Phoebe. ) RACHEL: Cah. PHOEBE: But I won`t. RACHEL: God, the first time he smiled, at me, those three seconds were more exciting than three weeks in Burmuda with Barry. PHOEBE: Ya know, did you rent mopeds..because I`ve heard.. ( Monica and Rachel give Phoebe a very strange look. ) Oh It`s not about that right now, ok. RACHEL: Oh, God, you know, I know It`s totally superfical, and we have nothing in common, and we don`t even speak the same language, but Gohohohodddddd. [Ross upset after listening to what Rachel had to say, decides to go and confront Paolo. He walks over to where Paolo is standing.] ROSS: Paolo, hi. PAOLO: RRRRRROSS. ROSS: Listen, er,listen er, something you should er, should know, er, Rachel and I are, we`re kind of a, kind of a thing. PAOLO: Thing? ROSS: Thing, yes, thing. PAOLO: You `ave de sex. ROSS: No, no, no, um, technically, er, the the , sex is not being had, but that`s er, see but that`s not the point see um, the point is that er, well Rachel and I should be er, well, Rachel and I should be together, ya know and if you get in the er. PAOLO: In bed? ROSS: No, ha, no, not where I was going, er, if you get in the way.. way of us becoming a thing, then er, I would be well very sad, um ( Ross rubs his eyes. ) PAOLO: Oh.oh. ROSS: So do you , um, sa vech ay? PAOLO: See see. ROSS: See.. see. ( Mouths ) great. So, you, er, you do know a little English? PAOLO: Talk, little. ROSS: Yeah, do ya, er, um, do you know the word crap-weasel? ( Paolo looks blank. ) eh, no. er that`s funny, cos you are a huge crap-weasel. [Ross hugs Paolo and slaps him on his back. Paolo smiles.] PAOLO: Grat-si [SCENE: Back to the bank, Chandler and Jill are sitting on the floor, facing each other, playing a game with the banks, pens on a chain.] JILL: Chandler, we`ve been here for an hour doing this, now watch, It`s easy. CHANDLER: Ok. JILL: Ready? CHANDLER: Er, hum! JILL: ( She spins the pen round her head. ) Ok, now try it. [Chandler spins the pen patheticly and it hits him in the face.] JILL: No, you gotta whip it. [Chandler whips the pen round on it`s chain, and flies almost out of control. Chandler and Jill both duck and laugh.] [SCENE: Back at the apartment, we get a close up of a candle, which is almost burnt out. All are gathered round the table in the lounge.] PHOEBE: Oh look, look, look, the last candle is about to burn out. Ten.nine.eight.seven. ( Time lapse. ) minus forty six, minus forty seven, minus forty eight.. [Joey blows out the candle.] ROSS: Thank you! MONICA: Thanks! [It is now pitch black.] ROSS: It`s kinda spooky without any lights hur. Whoa ar ar ar ar ar arrrr! RACHEL: Whoa ha ha ha ha ha harrrrrr! MONICA: Whoa ar ar ar. JOEY: Whoa ar ar ar ar ar. ROSS: Ok guys, guy I have the definative one. WHOA HA HAR ( The lights come back on, and Ross can now see, Rachel and Paolo kissing. Ross looks upset. ) ah.. ar..arrrrrrr. ( Monica sees what Rachel is doing and gasps. ) JOEY: Er, Ross, this probably isn`t the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica. END CREDITS [SCENE: Back at the bank. The power is back on. ] JILL: Well, this has bin fun. CHANDLER: Yes! Yes! Thanks for er, letting me use your phone er, and for saving my life. JILL: Well, goodbye, Chandler, I had a great blackout. ( She kisses Chandler. ) See ya! [Chandler watches Jill leave and goes to the glass doors and presses his face and hands up against the glass in awe. He runs his fingers down the glass.] CHANDLER: ( Turning round to the security camera up in the corner of the room, by the ceiling. ) Hi, erm, I`m account number 7143457 and er, I don`t know if you got any of that, but I would really like a copy of the tape.
Hits since 15th August 1996: WebCounter supplied by www.digits.com |
Best viewed with...![]() Microsoft Internet Explorer 3.0 |
James Burrows (www.anasazi.demon.co.uk) | Stephen Clemson (www.planitia.demon.co.uk) |