Rock Notes
Announcer's Voice (Eric Idle): Rex Stardust, lead electric triangle with Toed
the Wet Sprocket, has had to have an elbow removed following their recent
successful worldwide tour of Finland. Flamboyant, ambidextrous Rex apparently
fell off the back of a motorcycle. "Fell off the back of a motorcyclist, most
likely," quipped ace drummer Jumbo McClooney on hearing of the accident. Plans
are already afoot for a major tour of Iceland.
Divorced after only eight minutes, popular television singing star Charisma
changed her mind on the way out of the registry office when she realized she
had married one of the Donkeys by mistake. The evening before in L.A.'s
glittering night spot The Abattoir she had proposed to drummer Reg Abbott of
Blind Drunk after a whirlwind romance and a knee tremblor But when the
hangover lifted it was Keith Sly of the Donkeys who was on her arm in the
registry office. Keith, who was too ill to notice, remained unsteady during
the short ceremony, and when asked to exchange vows began to recite the names
and addresses of people who also used the stuff. Charisma spotted the error as
Keith was being carried into the wedding ambulance and becasme emotionally
upset. However, the mistake was soon cleared up, and she stayed long enough
to consummate their divorce.
Dead Monkeys are to split up again according to their manager, Lefty
Goldblatt. They've been in the business now for ten years, nine as other
groups. Originally the Dead Salmon, they became for a while Trout, then Fried
Trout, then Poached Trout In a White Wine Sauce, and finally, Herring.
Splitting up for nearly a month, they reformed as Red Herring, which became
Dead Herring, and then Dead Loss, which reflected the current state of the
group. Splitting up again to get their heads together, they reformed a
fortnight later as Heads Together, a tight little name which lasted them
through a difficult period when their drummer was suspected of suffering from
death. It turned out to be only a rumor and they became Dead Together, then
Dead Gear, which led to Dead Donkeys, Lead Donkeys, and the inevitable splitup.
After nearly ten days they reformed again as Sole Meurnia, then Dead Sole, Rock
Cod, Turbot, Haddock, White Bass, The Plaices, Fish, Bream, Mackerel, Salmon,
Poached Salmon, Poached Salmon In a White Wine Sauce, Salmon Meurnia, and Helen
Schapiro. This last name, their favorite, had to be dropped following an
injunction, and they split up again. When they reformed after a record-
breaking two days, they ditched the fishy references and became Dead Monkeys,
a name which they stuck with for the rest of their careers. Now, a fortnight
later, they finally split up.
(Phone rings--announcer picks it up)
Lefty: Hello?
Announcer: Yes?
L: What do you think of Dead Duck?
A: What do I think of Dead Duck?
L: Or Lobster.
A: Or Lobster?
(
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geocities.com/hollywood)