The attorney cleared her throat and turned toward the jury. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm glad for the chance to finally present our case. The prosecution, for its part, has done a good job. The videotape shown to you marked People's Exhibit #1 would seem to be conclusive evidence of my client's guilt. However, please remember that the quality of that tape could be better, that it jumps from camera angle to camera angle several times each minute and it really doesn't tell the whole story. I am convinced that when we lay out our side of the story, you will see things in a different light and find my client not guilty of the charges against him. At this time I'd like to call my first witness, Morrighan."
Morrighan entered wearing a red dress that caught the eye of every male in the courtroom, from the audience in the gallery to the judge himself. She sashayed up to the witness chair, sat down and gracefully crossed one long leg over the other. She smiled sweetly at the attorney and waited for the questions to begin.
"Now Miss Morrighan, is it not true that you are also called "The Temptress?"
"Some have been known to call me by that name."
"And what is your relationship with The Lord of the Dance?"
"I would have him be my mate, but apparently he prefers the company of another."
"That would be Saoirse?"
"Yes that's her, the little do-gooder. She's not worthy of him."
"When you found your affections spurned, did you conspire with Don Dorcha to hasten the demise of the Lord of the Dance?"
"I admit that at a party I danced with the defendant in a vain attempt to make the Lord of the Dance jealous. I may have erroneously led the defendant to believe that Michael had attempted to tarnish my reputation. "
Snickers erupted from the gallery. Morrighan stood up and glared at the audience.
"I'm not bad, I just dance that way!" she said.
The judge turned and looked at her sternly. "If you make another outburst like that in my courtroom, I'll hold you in contempt young lady."
The attorney, not wanting things to get out of hand, asked another question of the sultry Morrighan "So is it your testimony that you purposely mislead my client?"
Morrighan looked defeated. With eyes downcast she answered "Yes, I did."
"Now the videotape evidence seems very clear on this, that it was you that pointed out the Lord of the Dance to my client. Is that the way it happened?"
"Okay, let's get one thing straight. I was mad. After all he'd just chosen another woman over me. Just look at me. How could anyone not want this body? I was standing in the background having to watch him kiss his supposed "true love" and I just couldn't stand it. No one had ever chosen another over me. Until that moment in time, I found that option impossible to contemplate."
"Thank you miss, I have no further questions."
"My next witness will be The Little Spirit."
The Little Spirit walked gracefully into the courtroom, not making a sound as she went. She eased slowly down into her seat, her tiny feet not quite touching the floor. When she sat, her tin whistle fell from her pouch, eliciting slight laughter from the crowd. Embarrassed, she quickly returned the instrument to its proper place and with her hands crossed, waited quietly for the attorney to begin.
"It has been asserted, that you are not of this world. Would you agree with that statement?"
"Yes."
"And just where are you from?"
"The Otherworld."
"I would like to point out to the jury that this witness was unavailable to us for any kind of physchological evaluation. I would also like to declare her a hostile witness."
"Now, Miss Spirit, it is alleged that my client maliciously mistreated you and broke your tin whistle. Is this true?"
"Yes, that's correct."
"The tin whistle that you just dropped a few minutes ago, is that the instrument in question?"
"Yes."
"If you would oblige me, may I please see it?"
The Little Spirit reached in her bag and gently handed her precious tin whistle to the attorney. The attorney examined it for a minute and the replied "the defense would like to enter this as defense exhibit #1."
The Little Spirit looked in horror at the attorney. With tears welling and in a voice that was almost inaudible to the gallery she replied "please don't take it from me, its magic is essential to my life."
"Don't worry, it will be returned after the trial but for now it is an essential piece of evidence. I just have a couple of questions regarding your tin whistle. It's quite a beautiful instrument. You stated while a witness for the prosecution, that my client damaged your tin whistle. Is that correct?"
"Yes, he broke it into two pieces. I was very upset when it happened. I think I've explained what it means to me."
"But this instrument isn't broken. It doesn't look as if it was ever damaged. In fact, Miss Spirit it looks brand new! How do you explain that?"
"Michael fixed it"
"Besides being Lord of the Dance, Michael is a tin whistle repairman?"
"But look on the video tape, he fixed it.!"
"Ah...the video tape. Miss Spirit are you familiar with video editing, camera tricks or anything that goes into the production of a video? Have you ever heard of a 'prop'?"
"No, being not of this world, those things are foreign to me."
"Okay Miss Spirit, now I'd like to discuss the events leading up to the alleged breakage of your instrument. "Isn't it true that you purposefully and maliciously tormented my client earlier in the day?"
"I don't understand what you mean" the Spirit replied with a puzzled look on her face.
"We have witnesses prepared to testify that you followed my client and his associates, taunted them and made light of their activities."
"I was just having fun, it's my job. After all, they were being so uptight and pompous doing their marching and all. I just wanted to lighten the mood a bit."
"I think you have proven my point Miss Spirit"
"No further questions for this witness. Thank you for your time, Miss Spirit."
"That's not what I said at all. You are just twisting my words all around."
"You may step down" The judge ordered with a bang of his gavel.
The Spirit stood, shot the judge a dirty look, but did not speak. She exited much more noisily than she had entered, stomping to the back of the courtroom.
"At this time Your Honor I would like to ask for a recess until tomorrow when I will call my final witness, The Lord of the Dance."
"Your request is granted, we will reconvene here tomorrow morning at 9:00."
The gallery was abuzz with the news that Michael would indeed testify at the trial. There was much speculation about not only what he would say but also what would he wear and would he fortify his spirit that night with cheesecake and Guinness to prepare himself for the grilling he would receive the next day. Many ladies in the audience would have gladly spent that night in the courtroom for the chance at a front row seat but a burly bailiff escorted all members of the gallery to the hallway telling them "you'll just have to take your chances in the morning like everyone else."
As the sun peeked over the horizon there were already three fold the number of citizens that would fit in the gallery. Many had come from the farthest reaches of the realm for the chance to see what the Lord of the Dance had to say. A lottery was conducted for the gallery seats and the lucky ones filed into the courtroom. The anticipation that filled the room was clearly evident to all those present. At precisely 9:00 all members of the prosecution and defense teams along with the judge filed into the courtroom. Members of the gallery unable to contain their excitement were heard to utter "Yes, Yes Yes!" at a high decibel level."
"Ladies and gentlemen of the gallery" the judge replied, "I know that for most of you, this is the part of the trial you've been waiting for, but I must ask for silence or I will clear this courtroom of all spectators until Mr. Flatley is done with his testimony."
"You may call your next witness."
"The defense calls Michael Flatley, AKA Lord of the Dance."
All eyes turned towards the courtroom doors. Michael strode in dressed in tight leather pants and a beaded bolero jacket exposing his rippled chest underneath. Some in the gallery worried that this attire might not fit the courtroom but luckily the judge said nothing. Michael's blue eyes sparkled at the anticipation of battling wits with Don Dorcha's attorney. He was not about to have his good name drug through the mud without a fight!
The defense attorney got up from her seat and walked over to the witness box. She leaned on the railing in a vain attempt at casualness. Michael looked at the attorney and patiently waited for the questions to begin. He did not have to wait long.
"Now Mr. Flatley, there is one issue I want to settle from the very beginning. Are you a member of a gang?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, of course I'm sure. I am not now, nor have I ever been a member of a gang."
"Well I contend, Mr. Flatley, that you are not telling the truth (a large collective gasp was heard from the gallery and the judge chastised them.) You have a group of associates that you spend a lot of time with don't you?"
"Yes, that's true."
"You all wear the same insignia on your clothing don't you?"
"Yes."
"And these clothes and insignia are all the same color aren't they?"
"I can see where you're going with this but..."
"Just answer the question, Mr. Flatley."
Michael stared at the attorney for a moment as if considering his options, then tersely answered "yes."
"And your 'little group' is fairly exclusive isn't it? You wouldn't say, let Mr. Dorcha in would you?"
"But he's The Dark Lord. He's evil."
"Yes or no Mr. Flatley."
"No."
"So let's review, the attorney replied turning to address the jury, we have an exclusive membership, uniforms and colors. That sound's like a gang to me."
"Let's try another topic, Mr. Flatley."
"You contend that my client kidnapped you and subsequently attempted to do you great bodily harm after you had a prior altercation with my client and his friends."
"That's correct. They were badgering The Little Spirit and I came to her aid,"
"Badgering? Did you witness the events prior to the so-called badgering?"
"What I saw was several large men tormenting a much smaller being. I came to her aid. Isn't that what chivalry is all about?"
"So...are you saying that might makes right?"
"No, of course not."
"So you didn't see The Little Spirit, by her own admission, taunting my client and his friends."
"No but that's still no excuse..."
"Thank you, Mr. Flatley."
"And this is when they kidnapped you?"
"No, that was when I was with Saoirse."
"And who, may I ask is Saoirse?"
"She's the Irish Colleen, my true love."
The attorney smiled at this answer and turned again to the jury. "And this Saoirse, just how old is she?"
"Seventeen."
"This man would have us believe that he is strong of character and yet his true love is clearly under-age."
The prosecutor stood up, clearly enraged by this line of questioning. "Objection! Immaterial. Mr. Flatley is not the one on trial here! Request to strike from the record."
"Goes to character, your honor. I'm trying to prove that Mr. Flatley is not the paragon of virtue he claims to be."
The judge called for a sidebar. When both attorneys stood before him, the judge said "I'll allow it but move along."
"Okay, lets get back to the kidnapping. You claim you were taken against your will. And then what happened?"
"I was bound, assaulted, had my personal property stripped from me and then, if that was not enough, your client tried is very best to see that my days on this earth were at an end."
"Oh really, Mr. Flatley, quit being so melodramatic. What exactly did my client do?"
"He had members of his group lead me up a tall staircase and then using a spell that is unknown to me, attempted to bury me alive."
"If that is true, how is it that you sit in this courtroom today, in apparent excellent health?"
"The Little Spirit cast a spell that saved me."
"The same Little Spirit that you and your gang had to rescue at an earlier encounter?"
"Yes."
"If her magic is so powerful, why did she need your assistance?"
"I don't know, she just did."
"Nothing further, Mr. Flatley. You are excused."
Both attorneys spent the remainder of the day on their closing arguments. The judge sent the jury home with a warning not to speak to anyone about the case and to return the next morning for deliberations. The jury had waited anxiously for their chance to make a decision in this case and at 8:00 the following morning they began the job of deciding The Dark Lord's innocence or guilt. The deliberations took less than an hour.
The nine women and three men filed back into the courtroom. Their faces showed no hint of the nature of the verdict. The judge read the verdicts on all three counts and prepared to address the jury. "Madame Foreperson, do you hereby declare that the verdicts enclosed herein are true and correct?"
"I do" she replied.
"Ms. Dougherty, would you and your client please rise for the reading of the verdicts?"
Both stood and looked at the twelve members of the jury.
"Madame Foreperson, please read the verdicts."
"On Count 1, we the jury find the defendant, Don Dorcha, guilty of Attempted Murder. On Count 2 we find the defendant guilty of Kidnapping and on Count 3 we find the defendant guilty of conspiring to harm a member of the spirit world."
"Thank you for your service to the people of Planet Ireland" the judge said. "The jury is excused."
The jury filed out of the courtroom. To the media they had been nameless
figures assigned only a number throughout the trial and much speculation
had been made of their identities. When the media had finished their questioning,
the names of all twelve jurors had been discovered for the information-hungry
residents of Planet Ireland. The jurors, who had humbly and seriously done
their job in this matter, were as follows:
Alternates:
Juror #3: Karen
Juror #19: Babzee
Juror #97: Jim
The Foreperson in this jury was:
Juror #14: Zammi
