How sweetly did they float upon the wings
Of silence through the empty-vaulted night
--Milton, Comus

Derek didn't speak as Nick helped him to his bedroom. The sudden pallor of his skin and unsteadiness of his movements nearly sent Nick to fetch Rachel in case her medical skills were needed. However, he didn't think that it would be a good idea to have Derek around a psychiatrist until after the initial shock of the revelation had worn off . . . if then. Just before he shut and locked the door, he overheard Sloan making some excuse for Derek's sudden absence, then the thick wooden door blocked out the sounds from the living room. He walked Derek to his bed and sat him down on the edge of it, then knelt to take Derek's shoes off.

"Nick?" Derek asked softly, "What are you doing?"

"Need to get you into bed and get you warm, Derek," Nick answered, standing and encouraging Derek to lie down and get under the comforter. Then he tugged off his own shoes, climbed in next to Derek and pulled the older man close. "It's gonna be okay," he soothed as he rubbed Derek's back and smoothed his hair. He felt the shivers begin as Derek snuggled against him.

"No, it's not," Derek murmured against his neck. "There is good and evil in all of us, but this goes beyond that . . . I don't know how to fight it."

"Derek, you've been fighting it successfully all your life; you just didn't *know* it until now," Nick pointed out, continuing to rub the tense back and shoulders. "And you know we'll help you -- you're not alone in your fight."

Derek pulled back enough to look up at him, "I'm sorry, Nick . . . I'm just -- I don't know how to deal with this."

"Maybe you shouldn't right now -- maybe it'd be better to let it all sink in and then think about it?" Nick suggested, pulling Derek close again.

"Perhaps you're right," Derek murmured, feeling Nick's warmth starting to seep into him, banishing a little of the chill that gripped him.

Nick felt the shivers begin to fade, felt Derek relaxing into his arms. He smiled and gently kissed Derek's brow, then when Derek looked up, he kissed a trail down to his lips. "Mmnnn . . . much better way to chase away the chills," Nick murmured against the full lips.

Derek felt sudden heat chase the last of the chill away as Nick teased his lips open with his tongue and deepened the kiss. Part of him wanted -- more than anything -- to submit to Nick, but the old fears rose in him even as he let the younger man press him back on the bed and plunder his mouth. When Nick pulled back for air, he turned the tables on him, pushing him back against the pillows and pinning him gently.

"Interesting way to bring someone out of shock," he said, smiling down at Nick as he panted.

"It seems to work," Nick answered with a lewd grin. "We're both wearing too much, y'know . . ."

"True. Shared body warmth works much better skin-to-skin," Derek replied with an answering smile. Somewhere in the back of his head a voice was telling him not to think about the last time he had been in desperate need of shared body warmth, soaking wet and freezing in the mountain air . . . _NO.
There is no demon, I am with Nick!_

Nick noticed the sudden distracted look in the hazel eyes and reached up to unbutton Derek's shirt in hopes of drawing him back to the here and now, away from whatever concerns were clamoring for attention. Derek jumped in surprise when Nick's fingers touched his skin, then he smiled and leaned into the caress.

"I'm sorry, Nick," Derek murmured, sitting up and shrugging off his shirt then unbuckling his belt and unfastening his trousers.
,br> "That's okay," Nick answered, working to keep the concern out of his voice. He pulled off his sweatshirt and reached under the covers to strip off his jeans, watching Derek's lean form as he stood and slid off his trousers. "Nice," he commented, although he found his eyes drawn to the bullet scar on Derek's right breast. It was a constant reminder of how close they had come to losing everything . . . "Come back here before you get cold again," he said, forcing his mind away from painful events.

Derek stripped off his briefs and climbed back into the bed, then murmured, "I don't know how much I'm really up to."
,br> Nick slid a hand down in the bed to grasp Derek's lengthening shaft and smiled. "I don't know, you seem pretty *up* to it to me . . ." He smiled as Derek moaned and moved against him. "Definitely *up* to it . . ."

"You are rude, Nick," Derek said with a broad smile. He rolled to the side and pulled Nick against him, reveling in the feel of his lover's muscular body. "Gott . . ." he breathed as Nick began to pump his cock and nuzzle his neck.

Nick could feel Derek relaxing into the pleasure, and part of him wanted so much to take advantage of that. However, he knew the moment he became the aggressor Derek would tense up again and that was the last thing he wanted right now . . . _One day . . ._ he thought.

Derek moaned and caressed Nick, trying to reach everywhere he could while he was rapidly being rendered helpless by the pleasure. This was going to be over far too quickly for anything complicated, so he slid a hand down Nick's abdomen and grasped his erection, completing the circle.

Soon their rhythms matched and the pleasure became overwhelming. Nick kissed Derek again, a deep, almost unrelenting kiss. A sudden spark shot through both of them as Nick felt Derek submitting to him without reservation, and that was all he needed. Suddenly he was arching in pleasure, jets of hot cum spurting between their bodies. Derek moaned around Nick's tongue and then his body responded in kind, helpless as the spasms of orgasm shook him.

Nick returned to his senses first to find Derek lying semi-conscious in his arms. He kissed Derek gently and smiled when his eyes flickered open. "You okay?" he asked softly.

"Yes . . ." Derek answered quietly, reaching up to stroke Nick's cheek.

"That was . . ."

"Yeah, it was," Nick said with a sly grin. "Y'know, there's a lot more I could do that'd make you feel good . . ."

"I'm sure there is," Derek said, regaining his faculties rapidly now, "but I think right now it would be better if I thought about this . . . problem."

"Derek, I--"

"I can't run from this, Nick. I have the blood of fallen angels in my veins and if what William was saying about my Sight is true, then for all we know, I could be some kind of throwback. We *must* deal with this before the dark side learns that we know of it."

"Exactly what do you think we should do?" Nick asked, sitting up slightly and pulling Derek into his arms. "It's not like we can separate out that part of you and banish it -- it's *part* of you!"

"I don't know," Derek answered unhappily. "The only thing I do know is that I can't afford to lose control, in case I unleash something none of us can handle. I know William seems to think otherwise, but I *am* a danger to the Legacy. I know too much about it and its members, and if the other side gets that information, many people will be hurt -- or worse. I will *not* be responsible for that . . ."

"Don't worry, Derek, we're here for you -- and like I said earlier, you've already been fighting it all of your life. Now you know about it, it might actually be easier to fight . . ." He trailed off, stroking Derek's hair, worried by the fact that the older man was shaking his head. "What?"

"Oh, Nick . . . you don't realize how hard it actually is -- you know why the angels fell in the first place, don't you?"

"Yeah, because they fell in love with the -- oh shit . . ." Nick looked at him and shook his head. "Is that why you--" He stopped himself abruptly, feeling Derek stiffen in his arms.

"How could it be? I didn't know about this until today," Derek said uncomfortably, moving to sit up on his own. When he saw Nick trying to hide his distress he relaxed back against him. "But it may be something to be concerned about: whether my 'heritage' has affected the way I've been dealing with people all along."

"You mean all of your past . . . acquaintances?" Nick asked with a sly grin, relieved to find that Derek was still willing to cuddle with him.

"Ja," Derek answered, feeling himself blush. "I have no way to know if the dark side already knows, although with all of the recent attacks, I assume they must. If nothing else, Azazel probably told the rest of them . . ."

"There's always one thing that might be on our side," Nick said softly, "If I remember correctly, there's some question as to whether the Watchers fell because of their -- appetites -- or because they taught humans forbidden knowledge. Maybe there's nothing to worry about . . ."

"And I don't have any 'forbidden knowledge'?" Derek asked with a slight smirk.

"Maybe it's forbidden by the Christian church, but I know after everything you've seen you're not strictly Christian . . ."

"How could I be? There's no way to discount the things I've seen -- if I believe in one, I'd be a fool not to believe in all," Derek answered, thinking of the time they had laid a restless Egyptian princess' spirit to rest. He had seen Anubis as plain as day, and it hadn't been one of his own house in a mask . . .

"So, since the evil-because-of-sex idea is Christian, too, maybe it's not really applicable," Nick said hopefully.

"Perhaps . . ."

"You're hopeless, Derek," Nick sighed. Then he leaned down and kissed the top of Derek's head and said, "I think we might want to call in the expert on this kind of stuff -- at least on the Christian part of it."

"You want to call Philip in on this?"

"He's had experience with angels and the like -- not that we haven't, but you know what I mean . . ." Nick shrugged and added, "Besides, I think he also should hear about this."

"You're right, of course," Derek said reluctantly. "But right now, would you stay with me for a little bit? I don't really want to be alone . . ."

"Of course I'll stay -- sometimes you ask the strangest questions."

"Sorry . . ."

Nick scooted back down in the bed and lay next to Derek, his arms wrapped protectively around the older man. As Derek slid into sleep, he allowed himself to wonder about the fragments of knowledge he had gained. For one thing, Derek was concerned that his many previous romantic encounters were related somehow to the fact that the Watchers had fallen because they were seduced by human women. _I guess it's possible,_ he thought, _although it seems more like he's just a man with a healthy libido. God knows *I* won't complain!_
Then there was his refusal -- Nick corrected himself, more like his fear -- of losing control in an encounter. Was it because he was afraid that some evil within him would get free? _Doubtful -- as he pointed out, he didn't even know about this until today. But then again, he said his Dad hinted at the Rayne family's heritage -- maybe subconsciously he knew something was there?
_But that doesn't really seem like it -- I'm starting to think someone hurt him, and if I ever find out who it was, I'm gonna hurt them!_ Nick let that line of thought drop, wanting to keep his anger from interfering with Derek's sleep, and resumed gently rubbing the older man's back. Derek sighed softly and snuggled against him, for the moment sleeping peacefully. Nick hoped it lasted for more than a few minutes.