Hail Saban, who sails the seas of TV owning all that is Power Rangers. We're pirates. We see what we like...we "borrow" it. Consider the characters borrowed. *Wink* A complete list of all authors, characters, and series featured in this fic, appears at the end. The song "I'll Think Of A Reason Later" is by Lee Ann Womack, from her album "Some Things I Know".

Author's Note: This be a fic featuring the wild and adventurous Oliverettes. Who?? Us! :) We be the devoted fans/crew of Tommy Oliver, also known as the Dread Pirate Thomas, the Pirate King. This be written in good humor, and we do hope it be taken that way. HARR! Now, mateys, don't go takin' offense to anything featured here. Let me note that only the 4 Oliverettes (Falconfyre, Babs, QuesTails, and myself) and 1 Oliveretto (Blue Space Ranger) featured in this fic were "in" on this idea (romp). No other members of the motley crew knew anything about it, so don't be flamin' or harassin' them in any way. We, however, take full responsibility for our actions (after all, we ARE pirates!), and hope ye'll share in the humor that we intended in writing it. If you direct any comments to me matey, I will be sure that all involved get a look. Argh! :)

Adri's thanks: I could not have written this fic without the help of my fellow crew members, so I would like to thank them. Thanks to Julia and Babs for the research with the names, thanks to Blue for his help with plots, and though not "official" Oliverettes, I'd like to thank Cat for the assistance in locating a site, and Starhawk for once again daring to proof something I wrote. :) This fic was inspired by the whole argument (fight) over Kim/Tommy/Kat.

Oliverette Suggestion: Try the Oliverette approach to it all: we like Kim and we like Kat. But it doesn't matter, 'cause in the end, we're Tommy fans. :)

"Hurry Babs, find us a good one before he comes back," Adrienne urged as Babs searched for a fic about their King. Babs was seated at the ship's computer, Inigo, flipping through the Adult Shoppe, a site that totally fascinated her. The Oliverettes usually left the fic selection to Babs since she was so familiar with the site.

"Don't worry about it Adri. The King won't be back for a while yet," Tails assured her, talking about their Captain and King, the Dread Pirate Thomas. Falconfyre dumped the final bucket of ice into a large tub of cold water in preparation for whenever a suitable fic was found.

"How about this one…," Babs started. "No, wait…forget it." she said, closing the fic.

"What's wrong?" Falconfyre asked Babs, but someone else answered.

"Don't ask. You know you don't want to know" Blue joked as he walked through the cabin. In his hands he had a bucket of tar, a bag of feathers, and some rope.

"And where are you off to Blue?" Tails asked from her perch in the Captain's chair.

"Just thought I'd pay a visit to the MegaShip," he answered.

"Ah! Ya plotting a little prank on Zhane again?" Adri teasingly asked.

"Do you think you'll get him with this practical joke?" Babs asked, laughing at the idea of what Blue might have been plotting.

"Oh, he'll be surprised," Blue grinned and continued out onto the deck of the ship. He returned a moment later and went back into the hold for more supplies.

"So, what was wrong with that fic Babs?" Tails returned to the original topic.

"Every one pairs King Thomas with someone different. There's Tommy and Kim, Tommy and Kat-"

"Tommy and Tanya, Tommy and Cassie-" Tails continued.

"Tommy and every female on the show," Falconfyre added.

"And don't forget the original characters people pair him off with." Adri shrugged and went back to tuning her guitar. "Some people are just so fanatical about who the King ends up with though."

Tails laughed, "If I remember correctly, I believe you have rather strong feelings on that matter too Adri."

She grinned sheepishly, "I do. But I don't voice them loudly as if they were facts or flame people for stating their opinions on the matter like others do."

Babs agreed, "This is getting out of hand."

"I'll say," Blue commented as he passed through the cabin again. This time he was carrying a can of shaving cream and a bucket of warm water. He deposited them on the deck and returned again to the hold.

"Just when are people going to realize that it really doesn't matter who they think he should be with?" The others looked at Tails, knowing that she would go on. "'Cause in the end he belongs to us."

"So, if it's out of hand, what say we do something about it?" Adri queried, a sinister gleam in her eyes.

"What are suggesting Adri?" Falconfyre asked eagerly, moving closer.

"Yes Adri, what's the plan?" Tails added, also eager to hear, but as the King's Royal L.W., she was reluctant to leave her seat. She did however put aside the lewd picture she had been drawing.

"Everyone has an opinion on whom our King should be with. What if we "limited their choices"?" she hinted.

"Oh... you mean by eliminating the competition? Ooo, why, that's evil Adri," Babs grinned along.

Tails showed her support with her usual enthusiasm for anything that involved the King. "So many women, so little time! Where do we start?"

"A little scheming music Adri, if you please," Falconfyre requested.

"I think I know just the thing," and she started to play.

Tails started to giggle and shifted again in the Captain's chair. She turned to a new page on her art pad and the King's Artist started drawing a new picture. This one displayed the many demises and disappearances of any rivals for his affections.

Babs turned back to Inigo and, fingers flying across the keyboard, she began a net-wide search for all fics in which Tommy Oliver made an appearance.

Falconfyre grabbed her trusty laptop, pulled up a new document, and sat down in her customary spot by the Captain's chair. As the King's scribe, she was ready to record all plots and schemes.

"What are you guys up to?" Blue asked as he passed through the cabin, this time carrying a lightning rod, a baseball bat, and a squirming cat.

"Why, we're up to no good, of course!" Babs grinned.

"Can I help?" Blue asked, eager to join in on the crew's evil plots.

"The more the merrier, Blue!" Adri called as she dragged a pillow over to the Captain's chair and took a seat on the floor next to Falconfyre. Blue dumped his supplies on the deck and returned to the cabin, taking the seat that Adri had offered him. Tails, as the Royal L.W., of course refused to leave her seat lest someone try to steal her post. Pirates are a suspicious lot.

"We have a list!" Babs called, waving a printout. "It's not complete, but it's a start." She left Inigo and joined the circle of conspirators.

"And so, let the plotting begin! Arrgghh!" Falconfyre cheered, rousing the pirates to the task at hand. "Who's up first Babs?"

"Depends. Should we deal with Rangers and people from the show first, or the original characters from fics?"

"Let's take care of the original characters first. That should be fun," Tails said.

"Okay, original characters it is! First up, Ellen Brand has a few characters who want our King, Lillian and Terry."

"But Terry's married to the clone, Tyler! Do we really care about the clones?" Falconfyre protested, obviously worried for the fate of her own creation, Corry, who was attached to her Tommy clone, Thomas.

Thinking of the mess Adri and she had caused in their spoofs with the multiple Ashleys on board the MegaShip, Tails quickly said, "All right. Clones don't count. We only care about the REAL Tommy." Falconfyre breathed a silent sigh of relief and typed only Lillian's name on the "Most Wanted List".

"What do we want to do with her?" Falconfyre asked, ready to pass sentence.

"Well, since this is Ellen's character, why not use a Proton Pack?"

"Oh, I like!" Falconfyre answered typing it in.

"Ellen even gave Tommy a stalker, Sandra, in her fic, "Irresistible," Babs added.

"I thought Kat killed her," Adri said.

"Well, we'll just have to thank the Queen for her help," Falconfyre grinned evilly.

"Next, we have a couple of disloyal girlfriends; both cheated on their boyfriends to be with Tommy. Ellen's Jamie Zedden cheated on Jason in "D.O.A.", and Jennifer Bigley's Christina Collins cheated on Billy in "Conundrum".

"Blue, what did Red say about that new cannon?" Falconfyre asked, referring to the one of the crew's new members who was the King's Advisor on All Known Power in the Universe.

"He said it's ready, any time you want to give it a try."

"Then let's try a little 'human cannonball' experiment, shall we? Babs, who's next?"

"Hmm...," was her answer.

"Babs?"

"Well, if we want to be technical here, Ellen has another character paired with Tommy. She and Jeremy Ray gave him a girlfriend, Harley Beth, in "Night On The Town" from their "Halloween Horrors" series."

"But she's dead too," Falconfyre countered.

"He has lots of dead girlfriends," Adri added, before falling into a fit of giggles at something Tails had whispered to her. It sounded suspiciously like, "There'll be a lot more dead ones when we're done."

Blue leaned over to the two pirates, "What are you whispering about? Come on, share!"

Adri stifled her giggles and smiled sweetly. "Sorry. Just forget it. Please continue Babs."

Babs looked at the two and went on. "She's right. He has several dead girlfriends. Garynt from April Richards' "The Nightmare Saga", Shio from April Richards' "Lost And Found", and Shana from Mandi B. Gordon's "Tommy's Song" series. Plus there are some supernatural creatures, like the baoban sith, Nicola, from Ellen and Jeremy Ray's "Night On The Town", Ivy from Kahva's and Ivy Tante's "Desert Fantasy", and a vampire, Sorsha, from Mandi B. Gordon's "Lost In The Shadows" series."

"A vampire? There's a vampire?" Blue said, perking up. "Can I take out the vampire? Mr. Pointy and I are ready!" He held out an Official Buffy the Vampire Slayer wooden stake, "I'll take care of that vampire. And I'll make sure that she and all the other dead ones, stay dead, so they never return to fool around with your King," he offered. He grinned as Adri started softly playing "Lon Lon Ranch" on her guitar for him.

Falconfyre laughed at his enthusiasm. "Aye Blue, that would be great!" She typed in the names next to Blue's.

"We've done in two of her characters, let's go for them all. April Richards has another girlfriend for Tommy, and she's actually named 'Mousy', Faith 'Mousy' Hardy. What should we do with her?" Babs asked.

"Ya know," Adri commented casually, "I bet Saba's hungry..." She was referring to one of the Oliverettes' shipboard animal companions, a white Siberian tiger named Saba after their King's famous sword.

"Heh hehe... feeding the mouse to the cat...," Tails smiled, looking behind the Captain's chair at the large white tiger sleeping there. "Well, why not also give Saba, Shannon Kassandra Kaze, from White Zeo's "The Guardians Saga" and "The Cobwebs Before Her"?"

"But White Zeo is an Oliverette!" Falconfyre said, speaking up for one of their missing members.

"And?" Babs said simply.

Falconfyre smiled, "Nothing. Just wanted to point that out."

"Okay, then there's Stephanie Marks from Snowflake's "Superstar Series", and Alex from Krazie Kat's "Gathering of the Guardians" series."

"Roll them in a carpet and throw them off a bridge," Blue suggested.

"An oldie but a goody from "The Simpsons" I believe," Falconfyre agreed, typing it in.

"Sounds like we're making progress. This is going faster than I thought it would," Blue said quietly to Adri.

"Yeah, at this rate we'll be done listing all his girlfriends by the turn of the century!" she joked wryly.

"Next up," Babs began again, interrupting them, "is Jenny from Crypt and Mindy's "Spice Club" series."

"Spice Club? Hmm... how about the Spice Girls?" Falconfyre grinned wickedly. "Okay, I'll handle this one. Asby!!" The large red dragon suddenly appeared, followed soon after by a small blue dragon and a bronze fire lizard. "I should have known you'd be with Mason," she sighed, shaking her head.

"Sulfur! Come here, we gotta talk!" Adri said, calling to the bronze fire lizard. Her muse flew over to her as she pulled him into a corner and began to question him as to the whereabouts of her other missing muse.

"Come on Julia, what do you want? We were kinda busy!" Asby complained.

Falconfyre sighed again, "I told you Asby. When I'm with the crew call me Falconfyre!" Asby only shook his head and stuck out his forked tongue at her. "Fine. Then I won't tell you where the Spice Girls are."

"Spice Girls?!! Where?!!!!" both Asby and Mason asked excitedly.

"Well, I know where one of them is...," Falconfyre teased.

"Is it Posh?! I know it! It's Victoria, right?!" Mason sighed, sinking happily to the floor.

"You'll just have to find out," she grinned and called, "Phoenix?" A large red-tailed hawk flew to the arm of the Captain's chair. Phoenix was another of the Oliverette's animal companions. Again, it was an homage to their King and Captain; a falcon, his spirit animal, named after his Zeo symbol. "Phoenix knows where she is. Just follow him." With that, the hawk took off, flew out the cabin door, and disappeared. Asby and Mason hurried to catch up.

Sulfur tried to follow, but Adri stopped him. "You stay. I need to finish a fic." Sulfur blew a tongue of flame at her, then settled on her shoulder as she took her seat.

"That takes care of Jenny, and it makes me even with Asby and Mason. That'll teach them to keep me up all night with their partying!" Falconfyre smiled after the vanishing dragons. "Next?"

"Jan Milford from Louise J.'s "Close Encounters" series."

" "Close Encounters"?" Blue asked.

"Yup," Babs confirmed. "She's an alien."

"Then call Will Smith," Tails laughed. "He's quite good at kicking alien butt."

Falconfyre continued to type, taking down all the names and the plots. "Got it," she announced. "Babs?"

"Well, that's as far as our list of original characters goes. We'll have to come back and get whomever we missed whenever Inigo finishes the new list," Babs said, looking back at their ship's computer as he worked steadily along at his usual pace, which was slowly. Inigo truly had a mind of his own.

"All right, let's move on, characters from the show then."

"Heather!" Tails jeered.

"Argh! Heather, that snowboarding little --" Babs stopped and smiled when she saw the others waiting to hear the rest of her 'colorful' description of the girl.

"I say," Adri began quietly, "we take her back to The Widowmaker," referring to the hill she had dared Tommy and Billy to snowboard down.

"Yeah! Send her off the same cliff as the first time! Only the King won't be there this time...," Tails' sentence dissolved into a fit of giggles.

"Check," Falconfyre smiled. "Okay, I know we're going to have to deal with basically every Ranger woman here. In the "OVG" series, he's been paired with almost everyone."

"True," Babs said, consulting the last entries on the list. "And if they're not covered there then we have other fics to go from. He was paired with Tanya in Darkchilde's "Bus Ride" and he was kinda linked with Cassie in Nancy Shaw's "A Fitting Relationship"."

"That's close enough for me!" Tails added gleefully.

"As Rangers they deserve a little bit of respect, so...," Falconfyre started, waiting for a suggestion.

"I think we got something!" Adri called. Blue and she had been conspiring together in whispers and came forward to share their plan. "How about," she started, pulling something out of her backpack, "a little curse?" She held out what was in her hand. It was part of her collection of Power Ranger action figures, the ones with the morphin' heads so they are unmistakably a certain person and not an anonymous Ranger. "We use these as voodoo dolls. And if they don't stay away from the King...," she left the threat open-ended.

"So who do we get to place the curse?" Babs asked.

"That's the easy part Babs. My friend Willow Rosenberg will do it for us," Blue smiled. "We just have to go to Sunnydale. The hard part will be getting something personal from each Ranger to make these real voodoo dolls."

"And if this isn't enough, Adri and I can take care of Ashley and Cassie in the next space spoof!" Tails said, high-fiving Adri.

"Well, that takes care of everyone except the main two... his two canon girlfriends... Kimberly Hart and Katherine Hillard."

"As the King's Advisor on All Things Piratical," Babs began, "I think we should act in our true pirate nature in dealing with them."

"What do you suggest Babs?" Falconfyre asked, curious.

"There's the 'keel haul' or the 'hang 'em from the highest yardarm in port'... but I'm more for the classic... the plank," a sinister grin slowly spread across her face.

There was a hush over the room. "Wow, that's good," Falconfyre finally said and added it to the list. She surveyed it and found it to be for the most part complete. "This sounds like a night's work and a great place to start. Are we ready?"

"Ready for what?" the deep male voice said from the doorway of the cabin, causing them all to jump.

"Captain!" Falconfyre shouted, trying to close her laptop. "You're back!" Babs tried to inconspicuously hide the printout and Adri quietly put her action figures back in her backpack.

Tails hurriedly closed her art pad while muttering, "That's the last time he sneaks up on us. Next time we're posting a sentry!" As the Oliverettes turned to face the King, Blue quickly passed his hands over Mr. Pointy, making it vanish... for the time being.

"Yes," King Thomas said, entering the room. "What was my loyal crew up to while I was gone?"

"Nothing in particular," Tails smiled. "Just some plans for the future. Nothing to worry about."

"When you five are together, I always worry." He smiled down at them and went on. "But we must be off. We need to get back to Earth and pick up the newest members of our crew." He left them and returned to the deck. The pirates continued to sit, looking at each other and contemplating their plot.

"So...," Falconfyre continued, "are we ready?" She reopened her laptop and saved the document.

"But of course," Babs said. "We are the Dread Pirate Thomas' crew, notoriously wicked in defense of our King.

Tails added, "We do not bash with impunity. The Oliverettes are fair; all are bashed equally."

"Ladies? Gentleman?" King Thomas called from somewhere above decks.

"Aye Captain!" they answered in unison, some of them from between giggles.

As the motley crew of pirates stood, Falconfyre drew her sword. "Tonight," she said, and held her sword into the center of the circle. It was soon crossed by three other cutlasses and an Astroblaster with Mr. Pointy lashed to the end like a bayonet.

"Aye, for the King!" Babs said, and the others echoed her sentiment.

"FOR THE KING!!"

The following are the *ahem* "borrowed" characters, or mentioned fics. *Grin*
Jennifer Bigley's Christina Collins from "Conundrum" and other stories.
Ellen Brand's Lillian, Terry, and Jamie from "Personality Conflicts" and other stories, Sandra from "Irresistable".
Ellen Brand and Jeremy Ray Logsdon's Harley Beth and Nicola from "Night On The Town" from the "Halloween Horror" series.
Crypt and Mindy's Jenny from the "Spice Group" series.
Darkchilde's "Bus Ride".
Mandi B. Gordon's Shana from "Tommy's Song" series, Sorsha from "Lost In The Shadow" series.
Kahva and Ivey Tante's Ivy from "Desert Fantasy".
Krazie Kat's Alex from "Gathering of the Guardians".
Louise J.'s Jan Milford from "Close Encounters" series.
April Richard's Garynt from "The Nightmares Saga", Shio from "Lost and Found", Faith 'Mousy' Hardy from "Blood Ties".
Nancy Shaw's "A Fitting Relationship".
Snowflake's Stephanie Marks from "Superstar" series.
White Zeo's Shannon Kassandra Kaze from "The Guardians Saga" and "The Cobwebs Before Her".
And last, but certainly not least, a nod to all the writers who have submitted the wonderful fics to "Obverse The Viewing Globe". You know who you are. *grin*