Madeline: I'm sorry, who are you again?
Fletch: I'm Frieda's boss.
Madeline: Who's Frieda?
Fletch: My secretary.

Doc: That's an interesting name, Mr...?
Fletch: Babar.
Doc: Is that with one B or two?
Fletch: One. B-A-B-A-R.
Doc: That's two.
Fletch: Yeah, but not right next to each other, that's what I thought you meant.
Doc: Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar.
Fletch: Ha, ha, ha. I wouldn't know. I don't have any.
Doc: No children?
Fletch: No elephant books.

Stanwyk: Do you own rubber gloves?
Fletch: I rent 'em. I have a lease with an option to buy.

Dr. Dolan: You know, it's a shame about Ed.
Fletch: Oh it was... that was really a shame--to go so suddenly like that.
Dr. Dolan: Aw, he was dying for years.
Fletch: Sure, but the end was very--very sudden...
Dr. Dolan: He was in intensive care for eight weeks!
Fletch: Yeah, but I mean the very end, when he actually died--that was extremely sudden!

Waiter: Excuse me seņor, you are a member of the club?
Fletch: No I'm not, I'm with the Underhills.
Waiter: They are left, seņor.
Fletch: That's all right, they'll be back; he went out for his urinalysis.