Ed Dravecky reviews "Pocahontas"

More proof I don't write any of my own material


Does anyone even visit this page anymore?

Apparently people have.

(I sure hope I don't have to edit that to read "person has" to ensure grammatical correctness)



And is it just me, or did Disney's "Pocahontas" feel more like an old
"Star Trek" episode than a Disney cartoon? The Captain tells a young
crewmember that he's explored "a hundred new worlds" and then commits
a bit of derring-do to save that same crewman's life in the first
five minutes of the movie, just before the credits roll. The Captain
is in the advance landing party, wanders off on his own, meets and
falls in love with the "alien" Princess. His "away team" comes under
what they misconstrue as attack and the greedy Governor begins 1)
strip mining the New World and 2) planning to attack the natives.
Then, eight seconds after having first actually met, the alien
Princess is speaking PERFECT English and constructing complicated
sentences with subtlety and emotional content. Then ALL of the
"aliens" seem to be speaking English, especially in the crucial final
moments when the crew realizes that the Governor was lying and that
their Captain was, as always, correct. Oh yeah, and he has to return
to his ship and leave the alien Princess and her people to fend for
themselves.

Fortunately for the Disney corporation, all of the mighty tall trees
cut down by the British colonists have grown back by the end of the
movie (some two days after they were cut down).

Disclaimer:

Jeff asked:
> 
> Ha!  Can I put this on my web page?

Certainly. The idea has been kicking around in my head since about
halfway through the movie. All I ask in return is that appropriate
credit/blame is attached to the file and that you make clear that my
favorite character in "Pocahontas" is Meeko, the raccoon. :)

I may have to beef it up at some later point, but I'll be sure to
send you a copy (so it looks like you are _constantly_ updating the
page!).



Return to the Theatre of the Imaginary