|
|
|
I give Cary credit for being the father of all gustibeasts. He probably remembers where the name gustibeast comes from but not why he brought it up in the first place. At the time we were discussing THE WORST 100 SINGLES OF THE LAST 25 YEARS and Cary admitted far too much about a certain song:
From cary@as.arizona.edu Wed Nov 30 13:21:34 1994
Subject: Re: Sigfile Follies
> And who remembers the artist(?) who performed the lyrics
>
> I rode my bicycle past your window last night
> I roller skated bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
> I've got a brand new pair of roller skates
> You've got a brand new key.
>
Actually, that was:
> 72- Brand New Key Melanie 1971
a song about the first innocent stirrings of young lust. It was rather
charming, I thought. Ah, well, De Gustibus non Disputandum est, which means
"never argue with a gustibeast". Or something.
-- cary
Most people would have let that comment die right there, but not
Huw Leonard, nosireee,
From huw@isgtec.com Wed Nov 30 13:54:16 1994 Subject: Re: Sigfile Follies Actually, it's "de gustibus non disputandem est" - there's no accounting for taste. I knew those three years of high school Latin would come in useful... (Actually, "de gustibus non est disputandem" would also be correct, but only for Church and/or Legionnaires' Latin.) Or maybe a gustibeast is some sort of MacCreature that has been bioengineered at UMan...The Gustibeast was quickly adopted as the Sigfile Follies mascot. Although no one has actually seen the Gustibeast, there is a picture taken during the awards ceremony in Telgte in 1995 which many believe to be the Gustibeast. Recently there have been some arguments over the authenticity of the picture since the Gustibeast was not actually entered in any of the swimming events.
|
The Gustibeast was set to make his movie debut, when Sigfile Follies staff members came up with the following screenplay:
From carrie Thu Mar 23 09:58:45 1995
Subject: Das Treffen in Telgte
Forrest Gump II! Why are they making this sequel?
O.K. I guess I know WHY, but is it really necessary?
Who wants to nominate what he is going to do in the
sequel?
"Golly, I just wanted to see what the Ayatollah looked like
and to say my last respects. The next thing I know
everybody's tossing him around like a volleyball."
Godzilla! Yes apparently a crew was scoping out Alaska
for possible shooting locations, hoping to catch in on
Dino-fever. (Coming Attraction: Clint Eastwood plays Dino
in Cule Hand Luke)
To me it just won't be the same without a bunch of Asian actors
running around with dubbed in voices.
Hey! Here's an idea, GUMPZILLA!
Gumpzilla: RROARRR! ahh, kamisama! watashi no atama ni ono ga arimasu.
(RROARRR! I love shrimp! Of course to me you are all shrimps!)
Townspeople: AAAAAIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
( AAAAAIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!)
The Gustibeast has spawned his own form of poetry, known as the "gusti" 6 lines every second one starts with the letter p and line 3 must contain the word gusti-beast
she rests inside my fiery heart popcorn like, heats and splits apart like a gustibeast trying to get out pushing and beating my heart about and when my soul is sufficiently disparged pressure is released and my attraction discharged
i have been cleaning out some of my boxes Pukus has been found amongst the sockses "Beware the Gustibeast!" he shouts praying he his heard by these louts "I have escaped, and now i am FREE!" (pardon me, but do you have change for a three?)
Look at the little geeks, working on their Crays,
Pissing me off with their geeky little ways.
I'd like to send the Gustibeast to destroy their little souls
Pittiful little creatures, living in pittiful little holes;
They tell me that they're happy, tell me that they're glad,
Perhaps one day they'll die - I can't say that I'll be sad.
Went to the hospital, was in labour last night
Pushed through the evening and right up till daylight
Gave birth to a three hundred pound gustibeast
Private parts are a little sore now to say the least
Well I am the mother of a little monster now, thanks to Cary
Perhaps my baby will grow up one day and eat New York City
There once was a man from Nantucket
Placing clams that he found in a bucket
A passing Gustibeast exclaimed (with glee)
"Of course you all look like shrimp to me!"
He devoured the man but avoided the bucket
"May had no 'r' in it, so the heck with it."
Now granted Ed's doesn't actually conform to the rules
of a "gusti" but apparently the beast is quite fond of Ed
and we wouldn't want to nit-pick now would we?
He is small and white, Poke him and he giggles Gustibeastily. Pudgy, with a round smiling face, He is nude but for his tall puffy hat. Poppin' Fresh is his name.
uptight marchers walk past me pornography is thought too free compaints of gustibeastiality picket signs complain of sex and stores that mark them selves XXX perhaps they're jealous, I suspects
There, there in the distance I see his face Pulsing madly, my heart doth race. The Gustibeast in me doth displace, Putting it's sharpened claws inside my space, And shredding my soul until it looketh like lace; (Preferably, Battenberg), which now I must replace.
By all; means, submit your own gusti to me and I'll forward it for his perusal.
(At least I think he's a he.......)
Gustibeast: RROARRR! ahh, kamisama! watashi no atama ni ono ga arimasu.
(RROARRR! I love shrimp! Of course to me you are all shrimps!)
Incidentally, the gustibeast is speaking Japanese, and what he is actually saying is "Oh My God, I have an axe in my head!"
Back to The Sigfile Follies
Maintained by Jeff Carrie.