I was content in my life. My philosophy was "There's no such thing as true happiness on this earth, only contentment." (I later adjusted that philosophy.) My four children were just about all grown up, I had my college degree, I was looking for just the right job, and I bought a computer to keep up the skills I had learned in a special course I had taken. Of course, when I got my computer, I swore that I would never be one of those geeks that got on the internet. After I had gone through ALL the programs that came with my computer, I became a bit bored by it all. So, I figured, why not? I will sign up for the introductory time, then just lose it.
First I tried Prodigy, but after a few days, I was unable to connect anymore or get any help from the technical staff. It wasn't such a great deal after all. Then I tried MSN. They offered 30 days of UNLIMITED access to the net. I tried a few chat rooms, but really didn't care for any of them. Some of the chatters made you feel like a real outsider...newbie is what they called me, and derogatory comments followed. Then one day, I saw the ad for the Star Trek Continuum. Being an avid fan, I thought I would definately check this out!!!
The Continuum required the user to download alot of graphics, so I was patient and allowed the time needed for all the components to load so as to take full advantage my experience. Lo and behold, a chat room!!! I figured it couldn't be any worse than any of the other chat rooms, and perhaps I could get some info on the new movie, First Contact. Well, don't you know, the chat room required a seperate download and more time, but hey, it was unlimited access, so I thought, why not? When I finally got into the chat room, the people I found there were from as far away as Australia and as close as the other side of my home state, Massachusetts. And friendly? My word!!! They welcomed me with open arms and made me feel instantly as though I were part of a budding global family. My faith in human nature had been restored. These people were not only friendly, but more that happy to assist me with my "dense" questions. I was a net virgin, and had no idea how to really navigate through the internet.
One night, a chatter by the name of Capt. Pike came in. I wanted to know how to change my name and such. This Capt. Pike, who is one of my favortie Trek characters, explained to me how to "work" the room. A few days later, Capt. Pike came in but not as Capt. Pike. This time his name was Scotty. I asked him why he changed his name, and he told me that he had helped a girl with her computer problem, and she remarked that he was a "miracle worker", just like Scotty on Trek. I thought to myself, "Maybe this guy will help me set up my email?" I very carefully wrote down everything Scotty told me to do (I didn't know yet how to copy and paste into a document), and the next day I tried to set up my email.
CRASH!!! That's what happened when I tried to set up my email! I had to re-install all my programs. How discouraging! Then I coudn't re-connect to MSN!!! Horrors! (Remember, I was not going to stay on the net longer than my 30 free days.) I remembered that Scotty said he was also on AOL, so I decided to connect with them and perhaps email to him what happened. Unbeknown to me at the time was the fact the Scotty never got on AOL until the weekend and this was early in the week. After a few days, I was finally able to get back onto MSN. When I finally found Scotty in the Trek Chat room, I explained what happened, and he immediately apologized for causing such disruption to my system. Being the person that I am, I immediately forgave him, and told him he no longer deserved the name Scotty, and would now be known, by me at least, as Crash. He changed his alias accordingly.
He showed me how to do a "secure channel", or private chat within the chat. We talked about my computer, and he offered his phone number in case of other problems with my computer. I accepted, naturally! We continued to talk, but the conversation took on a more personal nature. We discovered that we had much in common. We had both recently lost a parent, we both had dogs we inherited from that parent, we liked the same music, shared many of the same philosophies, and neither of us was interested in seeking an intimate relationship. I had been widowed for twelve years and had finally decided that I wasn't interested in marriage or an exclusive relationship. Crash said that he had come close to marriage once, but had been turned down, and would never again put himself in a position to hear the word "no" again. Sounds safe, right? Well, that's what we both thought at the time.
This open admission of not looking allowed us both to really be ourselves...warts and all. We learned more and more about each other, both in the chat, and eventually during long distance phone calls (Crash lived in Oklahoma), letters and cards. We also exchanged pictures and sent each other little "gifts." The closer we became as friends, the stronger the tie between us grew. In talking with my friend Cath in Australia, she observed that I was a little "sweet" on Crash. I said, well maybe, but he is too young for me, and dismissed it from my mind. She answered back...What does age have to do with anything? She convinced me that I should think seriously about it, seeing as how I was attached to him already. I thought it over very carefully, and decided maybe it could work, but I never told Crash about this.
Then I went on a 5 day trip to Alabama for my son's graduation from boot camp for the National Guard. While I was gone, Crash said he missed me and that he didn't go into the chat, because he knew I wouldn't be there and that was now the reason he went to that chat room. There was my encouragement from him to pursue a more personal relationship. We had mutually decided to become more involved. This was something amazing to both of us and still continues to mystify us. How can you possibly fall in love over the internet? Of course, there had been stories of such things happening, but to ME?
During this time, I met one Marc Wade, whom I discovered was one the the "big wigs" for the Continuum. His official title is Senior Producer/Designer for the Continuum. I had first met him a few days before the Tim Russ web chat in October of 1996. I wisely added him to my address book (you could do that in Trek Chat). The night of the Russ chat, he visitied the chat room right after the chat concluded. He asked if anyone had attended and I said yes. Then I told him that I didn't enjoy it and began to tell him why. Marc asked me to please put it into an email and send it to him. Much to my surprise, I got an answer from him within hours of sending the email the next day. In his response, he asked if I would be interested in "hosting" some special events in the future. Eight months later, I was finally "crowned" with my gavel, and continue to serve as a SysOp for the Continuum. As most know, I host a weekly TOS chat on Thursdays in the Academy Lounge, post to the newsgroups, and perform other functions whenever required by the Continuum staff.
Crash and I finally decided to meet face to face to discovere if what we felt for each wasn't just a fantasy. I had no doubts about my feelings, but still...? I flew out to Oklahoma on election day, 1996, over the objections of friends and family. However, the people that knew me best trusted my judgement, and didn't interfere with my plans or try to talk me out of it. Guess they know too well my small stubborn streak? They advised me to "GO FOR IT!" That's exactly what I did.
My flight was nerve wracking. I hate to fly, and I DROVE to Alabama for my son's graduation, and had driven the Florida that previous March for a vacation. Getting on a plane for Crash was a true show of devotion. When I changed planes in Dallas, it was finally starting to sink in exactly what I was doing. Going all the way to Oklahoma for heaven knows what? When I finally got to Oklahoma City and began to disembark, I decided that I would try as best as I could to look very calm and nonchalant. I walked off the plane talking to the gentleman that was sitting next to me during the flight. Then I saw Crash.
When I looked at him he was smiling the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. All my fears and anxieties vanished instantly. He was the man I had waited for my entire life. We embraced. Each of us with our own thoughts. Then we held hands and walked to the baggage claim area. Crash presented me with a card, which he loves to give me, and vice versa, and it made me teary-eyed. The first night was a bit awkward, but we got through it just fine.
The day finally came. All the preparations were made, and we were showing our typist and my matron-of-honor how to chat in secure channel when the unthinkable happened. We were MOOFED, and we couldn't reconnect!!! We finally called Marc at his office in California, and with his guidance, we were finally able to get back into the chat room. And that's were we stayed. At least, we thought we would stay...
About five minutes into the ceremony, Ben's computer gave us the wav for closing a program! Once again, the moof monster claimed us. The ceremony stopped dead in its tracks until Ben was able to reconnect. (My reaction was: "What would an MSN wedding be without a moof?") The ceremony continued, well wishers from all over the globe gave us their greetings and congratulations. The party was in full swing. Ben, Donnie (the best man), his wife Mary (my matron-of-honor and typist), and I were guests of Paramount for a showing of First Contact. The day and night were magical and memorable.
Ben and I decided to move back to Massachusetts because all of my family lives here, and Ben didn't have any close family or ties in Oklahoma. We have been on our honeymoon ever since. There is so much more that I could say about the wonderful man who is my husband. How much I truly adore him, and can't think of a life without him now, even though I had once believed that I didn't need a husband, I do need Ben. Don't get me wrong, though. We have problems just like any other family, but we have yet to actually fight about anything, because we are so much in agreement on so many things. I suppose finding each other later in life has helped us to respect each other's opinions and feelings and not be so selfish, and that keeps our love young, new, and alive. Thank you for taking the time to read "my" story. Please take the time to read Ben's verion, too! Take care and see you around the Continuum.
