Backstage with Scott Thompson
By Cris Sales
February 2000
A few weeks ago, I had a chance to chat backstage with the Kids in the Hall
in between shows at New York City's Town Hall. The last interview we did
between shows on February 11th was with the irrepressible Scott Thompson.
Following is the transcript of that chat. Enjoy.
CRIS SALES: I accosted you once before. At the webcast [at Luna Lounge].
SCOTT THOMPSON: Yes, that's right. Your hair was down, I remember.
CRIS: And I was harassing you about doing a one-man show in New York.
SCOTT: That's right, which I am doing right now.
(sotto voce) Except there are four other guys in it. I'm doing a one-man
show, with four supporting players. (laughs)
No, really, I would love to do a one-man show.
CRIS: What kind of one-man show?
SCOTT: I have no idea. One of my ideas was to -- oh, so obviously I have an
idea -- I thought of doing my novel, Buddy Babylon, and putting it on stage
and playing all 44 characters.
Or I thought of doing a one-man show as Buddy [Cole] or a character piece.
I really think that putting the book on stage might be really exciting, and
that would give me a lot of characters to play. Doing just Buddy might be a
little much -- I did tour as Buddy when I did the book tour, but if I want
to not be thought of as just him I probably shouldn't do that.
CRIS: Which leads me to my next question -- if you could talk about
anything you want except for being gay, what would you talk about?
SCOTT: ANYTHING. I am BEYOND bored by anything gay. Except for actual gay
sex.
(Laughs all around)
SCOTT: The only thing I still like about gayness is c**k.
(More laughs all around)
SCOTT: I could care less about the Gay-by Boom, or GLAAD, or hate crime --
I don't give a sh*t. I'm bored of all the discussion, I'm bored of the
whole thing. Representation, characters on TV -- I don't care. And I'm not
bitter any longer -- I'm just kind of over it. I did exist for years in a
perpetual state of bitterness and anger, because I felt that I had been
overlooked. But eventually I decided, "eh, big deal." I still feel that --
but I just try not to verbalize it in public, because it makes people
really uncomfortable and people don't really like to see that kind of anger
undiluted. So now I try to dilute it with a character or a joke.
CRIS: That must give you incredible amounts of material.
SCOTT: Yes. You know it's weird -- it's not that I'm apolitical. It's just
that the gay train that everyone's on just pulled away from the station and
I just stood there waving goodbye.
Like, I don't care where they're going. I think they're stupid. I think a
lot of what they say is stupid. Look at this -- I said I didn't care and
now I'm going on -- The whole thing that I'm saying in the Buddy monologue
[referring to bits about the Melissa Etheridge/Julie Cypher/David Crosby
baby and Elian Gonzales in the touring show], I find that what they did is
repellant. That what they're doing is repugnant. Have I said enough of
those "R" words? WRETCHED -- which is actually a "W" word, but to an
illiterate it's an "R" word.
The point I'm trying to make in the monologue is that the Right and the
Left are doing exactly the same thing. The people that are using Elian
Gonzales -- the right wing and the Cuban exiles are using this little boy
to advance their cause, the Republican party -- is using him to bash Cuba
and socialism, which is gross. And what Melissa and Julie have done with
their child, like all the others who have is, putting their children on the
cover of Rolling Stone is like trying to sell albums, and that's awful.
(At that exact moment, Dave Foley shoved a Brain Candy laserdisc in Scott's
hand for his autograph.)
SCOTT: (Signing) There we go. Nathan Lane. (hands it back to Foley)
DAVE FOLEY: Were you ranting about David Crosby?
SCOTT: No, I wasn't -- I do enough ranting onstage.
DAVE: Just wondering. (walks away with laserdisc)
SCOTT: You don't use your children to advance a cause, no matter how noble
the cause is -- that's how I feel. Have your kids, fine, but don't starting
taking their clothes off on the cover of Rolling Stone. I find it...
retarded. I really do. But, I'll tell you, I cannot WAIT to see that new
Ellen DeGeneres movie [If These Walls Could Talk 2]...
CRIS: Really?
SCOTT: Women loving women loving women loving women women women women
loving women women women women women loving women... in WHITE. Have you
seen the poster? They're all in white. It looks like if these walls could
talk, they'd say, (sticks a finger in his mouth) -- this project SUCKS.
(Laughs all around again)
SCOTT: I can't wait to see it though!
Because you know with a lot of those kinds of projects? The straight
liberals all sort of line up, and what happens is they lose their creative
and their critical faculties when it comes to minority politics, and they
don't want to be considered homophobic or racist or whatever, so they just
go, "I LOVE IT!"
But it's terrible. Good intentions don't make good art.
CRIS: Wow. Well, Scott, we have to wrap this up. We think you guys are
brilliant.
SCOTT: Thank you.
CRIS: Thanks so much for doing this -- and here's a parting gift for you
(handing him a package of South Park condoms).
SCOTT: Oh cool -- CONDOMS... You guys have South Park condoms? Man, that
ruins my idea... I guess I'm going to have to settle for making Kids in the
Hall dental dams.
(Yet again, laughter all around)
SCOTT: (Laughing) What a B-side that would be!
CRIS: Scott, thank you so much.
SCOTT: Thank you -- thanks a lot.
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