MOVIE REVIEWS

Here are the Movies...

This movie is REALLY good. Robert DeNeiro and Billy Crystal star as the ultimate odd couple, when a reputed mobster suddenly has problems and goes to a family therapist for help. DeNeiro is extreamly funny in this one, especially when he starts to cry uncontrolably like a little baby. Not like in Raging Bull, but it's purly for comedy. Crystal is a little dry, but DeNeiro carries the torch, somthing that I thought would be the other way around. Check this one out.

I'm still trying to understand this flick. The movie revolves around Max Webber, a 15-year-old over achever at Rushmore Academy, a super-duper-yuppie-larva-sluge nest of cranky, bitchy rich kids. Webber who finds time to do everything in the school except "classes" becomes infatuated by a fourth grade teacher nearly twice his age, afterwards he persues her (big surprise) But he gets unknowing competition from Bill Murray whom he befrends and later fights with over the girl. After countless schemes, Max is thrown out of Rushmore and he persues her from there. The overall feeling of this film was pure and simple...PAIN! I was looking at my watch hoping that space and time would accellerate so I could go out of the theater and shake all those bad vibes. By far, one of the weirdest, strangest and worst films of the year.

Oh...Mel thinks he can do low budget independant films now? WHY?? Just because the movies budget is 6 Million doesn't mean it's independant! And to top it all off, he probably pocketed at least half of it for himself! Gibson stars as "Porter", a hitman/driver/thef for a organized crime ring. When a good friend wants to get in and doesn't have the money to buy his way in, he quickly betrays Porter, as does Porter's wife. And after getting shot four or five times in the back, recovers to go on an all out killing spree with an ex-girlfriend. What makes this movie rediculous, is that the guys in the crime ring offer him MORE money than he lost, but he still wants just the amount he lost. Don't waste your life. Read a book instead.

If this movie doesn't make you look twice at the security camera at the local convince store, or even the ATM then you my friend are a very nieve and trusting person. Here a young labor attorney (Will Smith) is accidentally implicated in a plot to cover up a political assassination when videotape of the assassination is slipped to him without knowing. Then as his life falls apart around him, he comes face to face with an ex-NSA operative named only "BRILL" (Gene Hackman) The two form a shaky alliance in order to stop a cover up that threatens the security of the nation. This is a GREAT movie. A little late seeing it. But it's worth it!

Robin Willams returns in this inspirational true story of Dr. Hunter "Patch" Adams who fought the medical institution and won. The movie begins as Patch commits himself to a mental ward of a psychiatric hospital, then learns how to help himself by helping others. He then goes on to medical school where he challenges conventional thinking of average medical practices. But don't be fooled...this is a FUNNY movie, and Willams does for Patch Adams, what he did for Adrian Cronaour in "Good Morning, Vietnam" A real inspiration for anyone who is in college and is feeling down.

Well, it looks as if Disney's days are numbered. This truly is a movie that is best appreciated on the big screen. Excellent animation sequences that almost look real! Good performances by Val Kilmer, Jeff Goldblum, and a special appearance by Patrick Stewart! It was hard not to say "Engage, Number one!" when he appeared on screen. Go see this one, it's worth it!

Really one of the best Star Trek films so far. Not as good as "First Contact" but Patrick Stewart, and the rest of the STNG cast from the Star Trek saga give a great performance in this high paced, special effects drama with a really THICK storyline. In this adventure, Picard and the crew of the Enterprise find themselves in the middle of a secret plot to steal a world from a group of settlers who have lived there for over 300 years. But a strange secret hidden by the inhabitance reveals a shocking conspiracy 100 years in the making. GO SEE IT!

Well, they did it again. Pixar and Walt Disney Studio's put together a timeless entertaining story about an ant colony, which is threatened by a bunch of badass grasshoppers. Flic, the inventive resourceful one, who nobody likes is sent off to find "Bigger Bugs" to fight the grasshoppers off. It's a good story, lots of great moments. Go see it... ‘Nuff said.

This film is SOOOO bad that it deserves no rating. It isn't even a movie. IT's A MOCKARY OF ALFRED HITCHCOCK!! If you haven't seen the movie, take my advice. Rent the original, don't be a stupid yutz! IF YOU HAVE seen the original, there isn't much to see. It's an EXACT shot for shot remake of the original thriller from 1964. This time in color and with the WORST assortment of actors EVER!!! Not only that the fact that it's a shot for shot EXACT carbon copy of the film says something of the director's creative talents which are none. Just goes to show that all you have to do to get ahead in Hollywood is to copy someone else.

Adam Sandler is back with his latest post-Saturday Night Live character film. The movie stars Kathy Bates as his overly protective mother, and Henry Winkler of "Fonzie" fame as the coach that convinces him to play football against his mother's wishes. The movie is entertaining, but it would be better as a rental. A lot of the jokes stem from the character Sandler created on SNL, and doesn't add too much to it. I'd see it in the theaters, but if you can't just rent it.

Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman team up in this interesting combination of Chick Flick, and Halloween Havoc comedy about two sisters who inherit a family curse that dooms the men they fall in love with to an untimely death. After Sandra's husband dies, she recludes back to her family home and tries to make sense of it all while Nicole find's companionship with a serial killer. When she is threatened, Bullock and Kidman accidentally kill him! Now with a dead body, they try a botched resurrection to bring him back, but that doesn't work, and they kill him again and try to cover up for the crime. Until he starts to haunt them! To make matters worse, an Arizona cop comes calling trying to find out what happened to the guy! This is really a date film, but fun to watch in parts. Other parts are boring and sentimental but it’s worth a rental.

On the surface and it looks like bad acting, yes there is. In the trailers it looks like 90210, it is. But there's something about this movie that's good. Yeah, the plot looks like the wrote it on the back of a cocktail napkin late after last call on a early Saturday morning, but it does pack some really good suspense sequences. The direction is good, but the director is working with CRAP! The story begins as a group of friends at a New England college are one-by-one killed off by a serial killer basing his murders on Urban Legends. It all revolves around one student who when she committed a practical joke years earlier accidentally caused a person to die. It stars Robert Eungland who I believe looks better with the "Freddy" make-up on. And that star of stage and screen, "NOXIMA GIRL" She doesn't have a real name, just Noxima girl.

Well, John Frankenhimer is back. And unfortunately he's not at peppy as he used to be. Robert DeNeiro, stars as an ex-CIA operative who joins a group of Ex-covert agents who are refuse of the cold war, to retrieve a case for an Irish organization bent on trying to keep it from being sold to the Russians. Jean Reno does an excellent job working with DeNeiro, and vice versa. But despite some interesting and exciting car chases, it falls short of the action and suspense you'd expect from the trailers. If you like your spy thrillers so covert that the plot is top secret, you'll like this movie. It does become clear by the end what's going on with all the characters, but this is a movie that requires some serious film buff attitude.
By the way, "RONIN" is the term that was used in feudal Japan to describe a clan of Samurai who were dishonored when their master was betrayed and murdered, thus making them roam the land looking for work as hired swords or bodyguards.

Jackie Chan is the MAN! Chris Tucker is okay too... In this action packed comedy, Tucker stars as a LAPD officer who is less than admired by his fellow police and is given the assignment of keeping a high level police operative from China (Chan) from solving a major kidnapping case and making the FBI look bad. Tucker retaliates with Chan's help and attempts to solve the crime. This is Chan's best work I think, and Tucker, an actor I could barely tolerate in "The Fifth Element" redeems himself with his off the wall performance. This is a duo that classically can work off each other. I can hear the word SEQUAL already!

Now I've heard some criticism of this movie that makes no sense. First, that it's too bloody...Well, it's a freakin' vampire movie stupid! What are they supposed to do, bleed Kool-Aid? This really should have been released earlier in the summer, since it kicks total ass. Great story with excellent performances. It starts Wesley Snipes as Blade, a half-human/half vampire, vampire hunter whose mother was attacked by a vampire right before he was born. Hence, where his powers come from. He along with Whistler, his mentor who taught him everything and design weapons for him go from city to city trying to rid the world of the vampire horror that exists. Then when a doctor is threatened by the vampires, Blade goes into action trying to take down Decon Frost, one of the more dangerous vampires. Sexy, action packed this movie delivers it all. It also supports, from what I'm told, the vampire lore that exhists. Well, all I know is that I liked it. And if you have a craving for blood, extreme sensitivity to sunlight and can live forever you'll love this movie. Just don't come to my house late at night.

One question, is the Hollywood mentality of making the most obscure movies now spreading across the world? I guess the question is YES! This is such a bad movie; I don't know where to start. Rlaph Finnes and Uma Thruman star as John Steed, and Dr. Emma Peel who battle an evil arch nemesis, Sir August (Sean Connery) who plans to blackmail the world into buying their weather from him. Classic premise, but there are times where you watch and say, "What the hell...?" Especially when in order to hide his vastly hidden network of spies, he has them dress up as, get this, TEDDY BEAR! Even more annoying is the constant question that everyone asks, "Tea?" Half the movie was spent drinking the damn swill. "Would you like some tea, before I blow up the world?", "We have to stop this mad man, after tea of course." No wonder we dumped the damn stuff in the Harbor. I don't know I'm from Massachusetts, so it's a natural thing for me to feel. This is by far the WORST movie of the summer. I hate to say this, but Armageddon was better! At least it had a story that you COULD follow. Don't even rent this one, Trust me. The snobbish attitude will make you take a sledgehammer to your VCR.

Sorry, have to say it. DREW IS HOT! Anyway, good story good performances. But you should know this is not your mother's take on Cinderella. Great date film, definitely a good idea for a first date. (Nudge nudges, wink wink, say no more, say no more)

Quite simply one of the best action suspense thrillers of the summer. Samuel L Jackson stars as a hostage negotiator who is framed for murder, and to clear his name he calls upon Kevin Spacy from outside the department to investigate what happened. Filled with a lot of tense standoff moments it's worth the ticket price! Go see it!

Now this is a summer movie!! Anthony Hopkins and Antonio Bandaras star in this action packed sword-fighting romp based on the famous character. Not only that, but its the first time a Spanish actor has ever graced the part. Hopkins stars as the first Zorro who is captured and twenty years later escapes to seek his revenge on the man who imprisoned him. Enter in Bandaras who becomes his star pupil to inherit the name Zorro. Great date flick. Go see it.

Lots of noise, Lots of special effects, and that still can't get the box office. I'd tell you about the plot, but there isn't any. See "Deep Impact" instead. By the end of this one, you'll be cheering for the asteroid.

I was very shocked to see that this was Llyod Bridges last role, and what better lasting time of the age’s movie he picked. Mafia makes fun of everything from "Godfather" to "Casino" and every other mob-movie in existence. Not to mention other movies like "Forrest Gump" and "Jurassic Park" The problem with these movies is that the humor is too repetitive. It was great with "Airplane!" and "Naked Gun", but it painfully obvious that this humor can't last. I do give it credit for trying, but this one is certainly a rental.

Well the gang is all back for another installment of the series. Murtov (Glover) and Riggs (Gibson) team up with a new rookie, Detective Butters (Chris Rock) to solve a baffling homicide involving illegal aliens, counterfeit Chinese currency and who's the father of Murtov's daughter's baby? Plenty of humor and action this is a sure summer hit.

It's finally arrived, this time on the BIG screen. And it's pretty good too. This time, Mulder and Scully are potentially blamed for a bombing in Texas which is the sight where five dead bodies are found and have died of a mysterious plague which nobody has seen before. As the story goes on, it gets creeper and creeper. And with the addition of a "MULDER! SCULLY!" scene it's a good movie to see. However, this movie is only good, if your familiar with the character plot and overall stories which is in the series. So, if you’re a die-hard X-Files fan, go see it. If not, don't be surprised if you find yourself asking, "What the hell happened?" as you walk out of the theater. It answers many questions, but then new ones pop up. Go see this one, it's worth it.

Gee, let's see. The Indians and early settlers were really friends? And women’s-lib began in ancient China? Why haven't these things come up before? Maybe because they DIDN'T HAPPEN! Like always Disney has screwed with history to make a fabulous tale of honor and courage look like a sugar-coated fantasy where everyone lives happily ever after. Well, that's their job. But please don't screw with history. Overall, the movie is filled with some quick-witted humor and lots of musical numbers. And with the casting of Eddie Murphy as "Mushio" the little dragon that helps Mulan on her quest of glory and honor. But don't be fooled, this is a movie for KIDS! Maybe some entertaining adult stuffs, but still for KIDS!

What happens when you take one of the campiest sci-fi/horror franchises from Japan, mix it with the creators of "Independence Day" and put Mathew Broadrick as the intelligent biologist? That's right! An even CAMPIER sci-fi/horror movie! The movie has been hyped so much that the monster falls short of everybody's expectations. What I don't understand is why they didn't show what the monster looked like before the movie was released. I know they only showed a foot or tail to keep the suspense going, but it's a lizard! How much more different is this monster going to look like from the last one!
Dispite a really poor and slow beginning it did pick up in the last half. Only because they didn't tell the audience about the Eggs that were being layed by Godzilla. Now, they’re promoting that! So much for surprise! Even though the movie was flawed, and the real star of this movie was the special effects, it's still a good movie to see this summer and get away from the "Hose Whisperer" crap.

Finally, a good sci-fi movie that doesn't use special effects all the time! Directed by Mimi Leader, Morgan Freeman is excellent as the president of the United States who organizes his country to prepare from a comet hurtling towards earth and threatening the future of humanity. With excellent performances from many cast members, some you wish to live and don't. Some who don't and live anyway. This movie keeps you guessing. As well as the acting and physical direction is the lack of special effects. This movie holds off showing you the end of the world until the final moments of the film, making it more spectacular and unbelievable. It may seem like a bore of a movie, but I'm pretty sure it will be better than "Armageddon" due out July 1st.

Andrew's Rental of the Week

PG-13, Leonardo DiCaprio, Clare Danes, with Brian Denehy & Paul Sorvino. Directed by Baz Luhrmann. 120 min.

This modern version of the classic tale is different, funny, and powerful. Even if you’re not a typical Shakespeare fan, you'll enjoy this one. Just a few things I should warn you about, they use guns...and yes they refer to their guns as swords, rapiers and foils and all the different things that they used back then.

TRAILER PARK

Here's a look at some of the trailers now in theaters for films soon to be released and they're impression

When will this DAMN stupid special effect nonsence end? First they made "Plesentville" a movie surrounded based on a special effect, now their doing the same thing that people have been going ga-ga over ever since the PC hit the consumer market, making babies talk! Now...What did we learn from the "Look Who's Talking" series...movies with babies...SUCK!!! IT'S EVIL!!!