1. Find a crowded elevator and pace back and forth inside it.

2. Walk in, face the back and go about two inches from the back wall.

3. Walk in, and start reciting a shopping list in monotone.

4. Stand right in front of the doors when waiting to get on. (This gets a good reaction 
   from the people inside.)

5. Once inside, stand right in front of the doors, waiting to get out. (This gets a good 
   reaction from the people waiting to get on)

6. Wait til the door is almost closed then pry the doors apart with a painful expression 
   on your face.

7. Sing anything by Guns 'n' Hosers while pantomiming the lyrics. (I love her but I had 
   to kill her, would be good)

8. Look at the ground while standing in the corner and moan softly.

9. When the doors close, look at the person next to you and yell, ``Your nostrils they're 
   like wind tunnels, SUCKING UP ALL MY AIR!'' Then scream and collapse, when the doors 
   open, get up and calmly walk out.

10. Do all of these things with a friend, while both of you are wearing trench coats and
    dark glasses.

11. Comment one by one, on the clothing of all the people riding in the elevator.

12. Push the emergency stop button and say ``Now it's time for you all to DIE!
    Just kidding.'' restart the elevator.

13. Wander from corner to corner of the elevator during the course of the journey.

14. Hit every floor button, and at each floor get out and say, ``Nope, this ain't 
    the right one.'' Get back on and ride to the next floor. Repeat.

15. Explain to some poor innocent stranger all about the complex dental work you 
    supposedly received. Get them to look in your mouth and everything.

16. Tell some poor sod your complete life history completely out of the blue.

17. Ask for advice on a completely disgusting problem.

18. Get a vote from the entire elevator about some completely pointless issue.

19. Say, ``Omigod, did you hear that?'' And look completely panicked while not 
    uttering a single intelligible word.

20. Sit in the corner and meditate. ``Ohm.''

21. Pick up the emergency phone and try to order pizza.

22. Run like hell while the security guards try to find you to kick you out.
    (This can be applied to all)

23. Wear an earphone with the cord inside your jacket, carry a walkie-talkie.
    Once inside the elevator, stop it and say. ``Williams FBI, I need to see
    some ID.  Look at everybody's ID restart the elevator and talk into your
    walkie-talkie saying, ``It's ok he's not on this one.  But we think he did
    manage to find bullets for his gun.''

24. Say to an older lady ``My you've got nice hair.'' Pull out a pair of scissors
    and look suggestively at her.

25. In a foreign accent say ``You are very beautiful.'' to a young girl.  Pull 
    out some money and say ``How much to purchase you?''.  Indian accents work 
    well for this, like the guy on Short Circuit.

BACK