Porl's Useful Tutorial #4..The Indisputable Future of Computer Graphics
The future of computer graphics. Say it out loud: "The future of computer graphics". Now scream it out at the top of your lungs. Go on. If you want it bad enough you'll do it. The question is: Do you want it bad enough? You say you do, but do you really? Have you got the heart to make it to the top? What would you do if you knew you would have to work overtime-FOR FREE?!! What about if I told you you'd sometimes have to sacrifice your Artistic Integrity? Could you kill a man? With your bare hands? And forage for food in the wilderness like a wild animal? What if you had to endure a f***ing Tom Waits album played over and over and over again until your ears bleed?
You say you would do all this and yet I can't hear you shouting. How on earth are you going to land that lucrative freelance job to set yourself up on the South Coast of France in your own little studio, or as the French say "studio", if you haven't got the determination, wherewithal and sheer veins-in-your-teeth guts to throttle the guy ahead of you in the queue? If you can't take off all your clothes in the office and run round like a one-man idiot declaring your love for animation and all things pixel-y then, quite frankly, you've got no chance. And you certainly haven't had enough coffee.
Okay, okay, calm down...stop crying, things aren't as bad as they seem. It's not quite this competitive-yet. In the old days before proper computers the grandfathers of 3D were few and far between. The more archaic techniques involved punch cards and long reels of tape. These pioneers of the 3D age found that by absent-mindedly pushing baseball trading cards that they had defaced with the office hole puncher into a large tape machine they could produce 3D graphics. Don't ask me how , why or how. I know not. But because it was such an arduous process and produced such crappy effects competition was very limited in the area. But 3d snowballed as people realised they could work and not actually have to move very much. They stopped making stop-animation monsters and so the film industry had to rely more and more on CGI. This in turn lead to software companies realising they could cash in on the fad by, say, chucking out any old rubbish without proper NURBS blending, and stiffing all and sundry at the same time. The investment by these 3D companies in drug cartels, that in turn service the movie industry, has produced the most successful consumerist-perpetuating circle since Father Mulachie opened a brothel outside the back door of his confessional booth.
Now things are changing: Cheap puters, cracked software and the internet have produced a supply that far outweighs demand. Students are running around like rats in a cheese and bacon sandwhich-making factory run by old incontinent men (and women- let's not be sexist here) who spend all their time in the bathroom,(No offence students). How can you compete with a gang of youngsters who will do the job 5 times as quickly and 10 times the quality and all for the price of a six-pack of coke and some old copies of Playboy? It's tough. Your company could probably hire 25 students for the same they are paying you. That's 10 crammed onto your Sg, a couple for coffee duties, a few plugging up the draughts under the door and the rest for spare or swaps. And if they've been reading this series of top tutorials they'll be just as cycnical as you. So it's up to you: you either get your act together and start walking over anyone who gets in your way or you get stomped. And believe me, I may be giving you this free advice, but I'll think twice about braking if I see YOU crossing the street.
This one's not as funny as the last one