CREEPSHOW Review On "Violent Maniac's Cage"

CREEPSHOW

(1982, USA)

DIRECTED BY: George A. Romero.

This is a classic fun horror picture based on the EC horror comics which Romero is a fan of. Decent cast(Ed Harris, Adrienne Bardeau, Leslie Nielson and Hal Holbrook) all work well within the creepy stories(some better than others) and Tom Savini's make-up has never been better.

The first tale titled "Fathers Day" has wealthy descendants of an old man returning to their home for a reunion in the fathers memory. The old rotting bastard rises from the grave and twists a neck, crushes a person with a tombstone and and puts a head on a cake(I want my cake you bitch!). A nice opener . The next tale titled "The Lonesome Death Of Jordy Verril" stars Stephen King as a moronic hick who discovers a landed meteor and he foolishy picks it up and carries it home. The
meteor eventually covers Jordie's place with green growth and it covers over his whole body as well. Jordy, now a mess of green grasslike shit gets a shot-gun and shreds his skull(this scene is not gory by the way).

"The Crate" is probably one of the best as it has a man who is fed up with his wife. One evening while at work he discovers a crate under a set of stairs and gets the caretaker to open it up. The man then uses the thing to devour people he detests including his wife. Finally he throws the crate over a cliff and the monster escapes when the crate smashes and hits the ground. Every jerk-off the man wants dead dies in this(except for the janitor, that poor bastard!). This tale has the true comic book/black humor as every time a person is devoured the screen flashes and turns red and the music blurts out loudly. Tom Savini's gore effects stand out in this one as the monster takes big bites out of people.

One of the lower par stories titled "Something To Tide You Over" does have a cleaver title for that is what happens in this at the end. This one has a man getting revenge on his wife and her lover by burying them neck up in the sand on a beach. The tide eventually comes in and drowns the two. Later on the two zombies of the former dead couple come back to do the exact same to the man that did it to them. Finally we have "They're Creeping Up On You" a great skin crawling story which has a clean freak old man who is a wealthy tycoon residing in his spotless white asylum like dwelling. Further throughout the story cockroaches seem to be appearing more frequantly and in larger amounts. The crazy old coot starts going A-wall as he hysterically sprays repellent to ward
off the insects.

Soon the old man goes over the edge as the cockroaches are everywhere around him popping up in big droves(kinda makes ya squirm does'nt it?). The man decides to lock himself in a concealed room where he thinks he's safe. The floor of the room starts moving and it flaps back to expose a floor full of cockroaches, naturally the old guy can't get out of the sealed tight room and he has a heart attack. When the pest control people arrive which the old guy called earlier they cannot find
one cockroach. They open up the sealed chamber and discover the man on the floor. Before the two can blink the old man on the floor head bursts open and out pours all of the foaming littlemites (eck!). Great old fashioned horror tales like Tales From The Crypt only better. There was a sequal to this and another film like it titled Tales From The Darkside along the same lines as this. A scary good time.

Rating: 5 Skulls

Review by: Richard J. Taylor

Email: rtaylor@roadrunner.nf.net

CREEPSHOW

(1982, USA)

DIRECTED BY: George A. Romero.

Considered a classic by some, CREEPSHOW is Stephen King's homage to old E.C. horror comic-books. Expecting a masterpiece, I was disappointed a bit, but just trying to enjoy a silly horror movie, it was still a lot of fun.

Anyways, I think that's enough of a prologue for this review, eh? I really couldn't think of any more fluff to put in front of the actual review, so on to it. O.K., well, this movie is split into five different parts, all framed in the style of a comic book. The first one is a story about this rich family with a shady past involving a murder of the family patriarch. This patriarch was killed by his senile daughter on Father's Day (of course, it's always on a special occassion). Anyways, as the whole family gather's to celebrate the anniversary of the old dude's death, surprise surprise, the guy comes out of his grave to take revenge. Not really that interesting, with two exceptions: seeing a young Ed Harris in a lame little role, and for the immortal line, "I want my cake!"

On to story number two, a relatively depressing story of a farmer who turns into a plant. This one wasn't too hot, but it's still worth watching because the farmer is played by none other than Stephen King in a really funny performance. It's a short one, and before long the third story begins, and finally CREEPSHOW lives up to its potential. This one is automatically hilarious because it stars Ted Danson and Leslie Nielsen in their younger days. Besides that, it's got a terifically cheesy plot involving revenge and people being buried up to their necks in the beach. I don't want to give too much away, but it's a lot of fun, trust me.

Well, the fourth one is the longest and the centerpiece of the film, but it's not all that great. It is called THE CRATE and is about some random box being found containing a nasty thing which likes to ingest humans. This story is O.K., but it goes on for way too long. Which is too bad since the final story rocks. This one involves a really mean businessman who is a total clean-freak. I mean, this guy won't touch anything without wearing gloves. So of course, since he is mean, and since he is a clean-freak, something nasty and filthy has to happen to him. And what is nastier than cockroaches? This one makes the movie, especially with it's totally awesome finale.All in all, CREEPSHOW is a no lose situation. With five stories in one movie, you're bound to find one thing you like. Even picky old me found stuff to enjoy. I love Stephen King and I've read every one of his books, and this isn't quite as subtle as some of his books, but it's nice to see him loosen up and have fun with this movie. It's not a great movie, but it's an entertaining time-passer. Just relax, sit-back, and have fun.

Rating: *** (out of a possible 4)

Review by: Dan Sachar

Email: webdaddy@smackem.com

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