O: Can't a bright woman like you read?
L: OK I'll bite.
O: It says right there that you can't hog the machine while decent folks is waiting.
L: From what I've seen all you've exercised is your mouth.
O: Well of course you're used to monopolizing things that don't belong to you.
L: Opal, I’m fighting a migraine. I could really care less what happens in Dogpatch.
O: So you heard?
L: People in the next county heard. It's none of my business.
O: Yeah, like you wouldn't like a chance to snag my boy.
L: Your boy is a grown man.
O: Yeah and he's deeply in love with his wife.
L: That explains why they live in different states doesn't it?
O: The road to true love is never smooth.
L: I'll make a note of that.
O: But you'll never know that for yourself because women like you don't travel on life's happy roads.
L: Opal, you don't know me.
O: I know that stealing happy husbands is a nasty little hobby.
L: I didn’t steal Tad, and he was far from happy. You would find that out from your son if you talked to him instead of this down home preachathon.
O: Don't you look down that snooty little nose at me missy. Thank heaven Tad was too smart to let one weak moment spoil the rest of his life.
L: Can we drop this please? I'm sure Tad would not appreciate us talking about his private life in public. He takes full responsibility for his relationship with Dixie. So if you want to find a sinner, why don't you go to a revival, wear that loud spandex, do a mammy yokum and have a ball.
O: You know I may not be to the manor born, but at least I know right from wrong. Now heed my words, toots. When Tad and Dixie come back steer clear.
L: Tad would cringe if he heard you.
O: I think he'd thank me for running interference. So let me spell it out for you Blondie, keep your hands off the married merchandise.
Tad (walks up from behind Opal): Looks like I'm going to have to find myself a new gym.