How it Gets Better
(my luck, of course)

By SimbiAni B.

Morning of Th-4-12-2G1. I am still basically broke. Well, 'cept for like $7 I managed to earn in the past few days. And I dug up like $2 in change... or is that $3? Fair enough, I can get by. I will. LOL, I just do!

My best-friend (well, I call her that, anyway) AIMEE first keeps the excuse her mom don't want her to go, then admits she cans but doesn't want to. She's not much for giving happiness any chances. Me, I am on edge, wanting to but feeling full of despair. Every concert I go to is alone! I feel like such a ... heck, I am a loser if you go by "normal" standards. To me, if I want something bad enough (but it has to be little, big things think they're too good for me) I usually can accomplish what I set out to do. YAY. I mean, look at Long Island for BSB. Yes, I still can't get over that.

Tick-tock. Not even ready to go out yet. I woke up around 8am 'cuz my bed just felt so comfy I didn't want to leave dreamland... So after watching Max the Dog's wedding on The View, all while still trying to convince Aimee via phone she should come w/, I shut my TV off, determined to leave on time for that 2:30something train. Thank goodness I have Timer Record on my VCR, I don't have to miss DAYS nor be later by staying to watch it. Aimee finally makes me give up on her as I now dressed am together, rush out to the library. I am returning a late video & CD so I can take out #15 of Piers Anthony's Xanth series. Also I bring w/me to read (mine) VC Andrews Dark Angel, while returning not late Seeds of Yesterday.

It is like 2:20 and the library has no more train shedules. That's ok, I pretty much know it anyway. I'm also friends w/like everybody who works here, & when I tell Anna what I doing, she slips me a $5. You don't know how gracious I am! After a few minutes online at our public compus, (I haven't been online for a long while!) I have to hurry to the train station up the street. Ok, pretty far up the street. ... And it's not a 2:30pm train but a 3pm one. So I was off by 30 minutes, but at least I'm here & not missing it, for another does not come & go to Boston till 6pm. Way too late. So in the rainy gray drizzle I stand, for like another 15 minutes.

Train comes, me, w/my meek voice, am reading to put my "survive on barely no money" plan into action... It's not like that really, I just will take whatever happens & go w/it. Some people may say, "Oh you expect everything to go your way" or "you think luck is gonna get you thru everytime" "watch one of these days something bad's gonna happen" blah blah blah! But my philosophy is something like this, "EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED, GIVE JOY A CHANCE TO LOVE YOU, MAKE THE BEST OF WHAT YOU GOT, JUST WAIT & SEE, most of all, (this is beyond extremely important!) BAD LUCK = GOOD LUCK = BAD LUCK and so on!!!!"

I don't what you call it, luck/faith/chance/fate/destiny/tricks ETC but it does work. I mean, for like the 8th time for me. Yay. Anyway, back to the tale; I hold $2 in my hand thinking maybe if I just get a ticket for whatever stop they won't notice me not get off if I'm half-asleep... I even was encouraged to try that by the ticket seller outside the train in his little booth who said to pay onboard. I didn't really believe it would work. And, yup, it didn't. The guy said it would get me to the next stop, and I didn't want to get off in Andover! So at least he let me stay on to Boston (of course, where I wanted to go really!) but he said something about billing me... He asked & I showed him my ID and he wrote down my name & bday I think, but he didn't get my addy. ? I dunno.

When we got to Boston I got off & headed straight for the Green Line subway and was eager to go thru... & Instead of a $1 the guy there said I could for .50! So on I went, whoosh whoosh, transfer to Red Line, on toward South Station. Oh, but I can't relax just yet, I had to find out about tix to Worchester. That was at the end of a line too, so I wondered if I could try my previous busted attempt on this train. Nah, I took the tix sales lady's advice & decided when I got on I'd just right away when asked for $ say please can you bill me. Meanwhile, sit, relax, & wait for 5pm train to come...

I was still too anxious to read any much of my two books, "Dark Angel" by VC Andrews & "The Color of Her Panties" by Piers Anthony (I know, that 2nd title is weird, but is definetly NOT what you think! Look it up for yourself! LOL). My curiousity got the best of me so I looked over the giant bookstand that's sits in the middle of South Station, scanning for something to catch my interest, when - HELLO!! A book by SARK! And it's brand new! The only other book I'm sorry to say I've read is "Inspiration Sandwich", but I would absolutely love to get rest of hers. So here was "Eat Mangoes Naked" and I just had to have it. And I did.

All alone, standing around 'cuz too impatient to sit, I remembered the last time I came here, exactly four weeks ago to see MB20. Boy, that train had been packed! I resolved to grab a good seat this time. As soon as it arrived, I was out like others, and did get a seat, tho some business man had to grab the seat next me, augh I wish I'd have kept my feet up! And not later after but woman came needing a seat too (it was a 3seater) so she sat next to me instead & that old guy on the outside, me next to window. Darn claustrophobia. It was mostly my legs being cramped but hey, I was ok! As the ride progressed, soon enough the guy finally cam around (also this is like double my first train, in size, wow! tho they the same kind) and when I told him 'bout the billing thing, he said ok, hold up, I have to get some papers, I'm like ok... But he never came back. Musta just forgotten. Was that luck? Or what?

A while later, in Worchester now, yay. I get off & venture straight to the Centrum. Bravely I give my never-failed-me-yet method a few tries to start. Hey, I'm telling myself, don't get disappointed, I'm here, aren't I? ... Wow, that was quick! W/o even noticing her small logoed jacket, I had asked a girl from Kiss95.1FM and she said oh you need some? Who's w/you? And it is still bugging me how my close friends did not come, but I say it somewhat smoothly (I think) no I'm by myself and she gave me a ticket! For the 107 section. Now, I'm happy, assured. Tho annoyed that SEE! If my friends had come, they would've been able to come in w/me! Man! Another thought crossed my mind, did she any different seats than the one she gave me? I asked her, but no only 107. If I sound picky, who am I kidding? 'Cuz, no way, I am SO beyond grateful! This trip was not a waste! THANKS SO MUCH!!

I hang outside a bit longer anyway just to see what everyone else is up to. Meet some fans here & there. And met this lucky 9 year old who had backstage passes. Too bad I couldn't go w/her! Her mom seemed a teensy bit snobby. But since I wasn't ever going to get that lucky, I gave her a note to give to the guys w/my email on it just in case. Haha. Hope she gave it to them.

Almost 7:30pm, now I'm hanging inside the front doors 'cuz it is still a bit chilly outside.