Quotes: RAW is WAR
January 10, 2000
Live from the Kiel Center in St. Louis, MO - sold out
Nearly the entire roster surrounds the ring, with the Rock as spokesman in the middle. By threatening to have the whole roster walk out, he gets Foley reinstated and several tough D-X matches signed for the night. Wrestlers are invited to make their own matches backstage. Road Dogg vs. Mr. Ass. The real Mankind holds the fake Mankind hostage backstage. Kurt Angle/Steve Blackman vs. the Hardy Boyz (w/ Terri). WWF European championship: Val Venis (C) vs. Edge (w/ Christian); Tazz promo included. Backstage, the Outlaws argue. Chris Jerico (C)/Chyna (C, w/ Miss Kitty Kat [C]) vs. the Hollys (w/ scale). X-Pac and Triple H have a confrontation backstage. Triple H (C, w/ Stephanie) vs. X-Pac; Stephanie interferes. Too Cool/Rikishi Phatu vs. the Headbangers/Al Snow (w/ Head). The Godfather/D'Lo Brown (w/ hos) vs. the Dudley Boyz. Mankind makes a pass at Tori backstage and Kane ends up attacking the fake one instead. Test/Big Show vs. the Big Boss Man/Prince Albert. D-Generation X (w/ Stephanie) vs. the Acolytes/the Rock/Mankind; Cactus Jack returns.
"Good evening, everybody, and welcome to WWF RAW! We are live and sold out in the Kiel Center in St. Louis, Missouri! I'm Jim Ross, alongside Jerry "the King" Lawler; we are at ringside, and King, no doubt, we've got the Royal Rumble on our mind!"
-- J.R. kicking us off
"I Was Conceived At the SmackDown Hotel"
-- sign in the crowd
"HHH Is No Vince"
-- sign in the crowd
(Before the RAW music even subsides, superstar after superstar-- face and heel, around fifty in all-- begin coming down the ramp and surrounding the ring)
"We almost witnessed a hostile takeover here, J.R.! I mean, I've never seen anything like it! The show-- RAW was held hostage until the demands were met!"
"You gonna let Rock run the whole show now?"
"What are we supposed to do? Everybody's gonna walk out!"
"Why don't you just cry about tha--"
"RAW is LAWLER"
"Break Me Off a Piece of That Mr. Ass"
"Resurrect the 'Taker!"
"We gonna get a clean break here?"
"I don't think you can run a company like this! You can't let guys wrestle because they want to; they've got to wrestle because they're FORCED to!"
"We Miss You Stone Cold"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Road Dogg, get up! GET UP DOGG!"
"You know, the St. Louis Rams and your Olympic hero have a lot in common! We're both full of intensity, integrity, and intelligence, but unlike the Rams, I actually beat people with winning records! It's true! It's true! You mean to tell me you would boo an Olympic champion and cheer Kurt Warner, a former arena football player who just HAPPENS to be on a lucky streak?"
"Somebody needs to go back there and remind Mankind and the Rock what happened to Jimmy Hoffa!"
"That may be one of the greatest moves I've ever seen in my life, J.R.!"
"There's NO reason why we couldn't be able to beat the Hollys! If we work together, we can beat anybody, especially the Hollys! I mean, that idiot Bob and his little Elroy Jetson cousin?"
"Hello, ladies! You know something, as many of you may or may not know, my sister is engaged to Edge." (HUGE heat from some of the ladies in the audience) "Now Edge, with all due respect, you may have what it takes to win my sister's hand in marriage, but I guaran-damn-tee you this, you do not have HALF of what it takes to win this European championship."
"You look like a tangerine."
"Val went limp!"
"You got extremely lucky, and you know it! And I'll tell you what-- you find your OWN ride home!"
"You see those signs?"
"You don't think they could have that belt surgically cut in half of something?"
"Welcome to RAW is Jericho! But like I said Chyna, earlier, together we are gonna absolutely des-TROY these two morons! But I also want to point out, isn't it weird how you came down with the Intercontinental championship belt, but I still got a much, MUCH bigger response from all these Jerichoholics tonight?"
"Not your typical pre-game, "Win one for the Gipper" speech, was it?"
"A rough landing for Crash Holly..."
"Sorry, Chyna! Oh well, better luck next time, sister!"
(Backstage, the real Mankind holds a styrofoam cup over the head of the tied-up fake Mankind)
"Miss Kitty: the Other White Meat"
"Don't show the replay! Don't show the re--"
"X-Pac's manhood just EXPLODED--"
"J.R., one time for me... get up and dance!"
"If the Headbangers have an "alternative lifestyle," where would that put Al Snow, J.R.?"
"Al Snow just jerked off Scotty 2 Hotty..."
"If brains were chocolate, Al Snow's wouldn't FILL an M&M!"
"Did you see Mosh slap Rikishi right on his..."
"If you tell him to haul ass, would it take two trips?"
"D-X Needs HBK"
"This defies physics, to see all this girth moving in several different directions at one time!"
"This is the match *I* signed up for, J.R."
"I think somebody peed in their gene pool."
"Tori! Tori! It's Mick. Hey, I've been looking for you all night! Listen, we don't get a chance to talk like we used to, so I'd like to take the opportunity now to tell you how much I really admire your sweaty, heaving, voluptuous breasts, and I know you've heard I'm a good kisser, but in addition to that talent, I've comprised a list of about seventeen other things I'd really like to do to those bad boys! So if you want to go over that list, I'll be in my dressing room, all right? Just in case you forgot, it's dressing room number three... number three, okay? Bring a friend, there's plenty of Mankind to go around!"
"That phony Mankind is getting just what he deserves!"
"Kane, that is NOT the real Mankind!"
"This guy don't know the meaning of the word "quit!" ...'Course, he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of other words, either..."
"Good night, sweet prince!"
"They're gonna get it, and they're gonna get it here tonight LIVE."
"Bang Bang!"
"Fuck off!"
"You don't have a heart, do you, J.R.?"
"Keep in mind, the Outlaws have already competed against each other earlier here tonight, as have Triple H and X-Pac!"
"They never saw a Happy Hour or a cold beverage they didn't like..."
"Wait a minute... what the hell's that? D-X is not tagging their leader!"
"He's TOUCHING her! He's actually putting his filthy hands on Stephanie!"
"Triple H just pedigreed Mick Foley right through our table!"
"Crazy man; look out! Stop him, J.R.!"
J.R.: "Wait a minute, King..."
LAWLER: "What is this?"
J.R.: "What the heck is going on here?"
LAWLER: "WAIT a minute, J.R.!"
J.R.: "Well, I don't know what's going on here, ladies and gentlemen... again, we're in St. Louis, Missouri, sold out here tonight on RAW, and all these WWF superstars--"
LAWLER: "Wait a minute, there's Brisco and Patterson, and Test... what's everybody doing coming out he-- are they coming out here to US?!"
J.R.: "I have no idea!"
LAWLER (grinning as some of the wrestlers start walking by the announce table): "Hey, hello! What are you guys doing?"
J.R.: "Superstar after superstar coming to the ring..."
LAWLER: "Look at this! The Godfather! Oh, is that TERRI?!"
J.R.: "The Hardys, Edge, Christian... Val Venis... there you see Kane and Tori..."
LAWLER: "What in the-- there's the Kat! And Chyna! J.R., what's going on?"
J.R.: "Well, King, your guess is as good as mine. I have no earthly idea why these dozens and dozens--"
LAWLER (spying someone else): "Rikishi!"
J.R.: "--of WWF superstars--"
LAWLER: "Ack, Big Show!"
J.R.: "--are making their way out here!"
(The RAW music stops as the last wrestlers file down and take their place around ringside)
LAWLER: "Let's ask somebody!"
J.R.: "What's going on here?"
CROWD: "Rock-y! Rock-y! Rock-y!"
MUSIC: "IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLL..."
(crowd goes crazy)
LAWLER: "Whoa! NOW what's up, J.R.?"
J.R.: "What's up is the People's champion! The Rock!"
(The Rock comes out to the stage, mic in hand, and begins heading to the ring)
LAWLER (yelling to be heard over the crowd noise): "Listen to this! Sounds like the Rams just won the Super Bowl or something!"
J.R.: "What in the world could be going on out here tonight? The ring is completely surrounded by dozens of WWF superstars, and now the Rock is making his way to the ring!"
LAWLER: "Must be fifty WWF superstars out here!"
(The Rock perches atop the ropes)
J.R.: "I don't think I've ever encountered anything quite like this!"
LAWLER: "Uh-oh, look!"
(The camera shots have switched backstage, where X-Pac, the Outlaws, Triple H, and Steph watch the proceedings on television. They look nervous and a bit upset)
J.R.: "Looks like D-X... they don't know what's going on either!"
J.R.: "I don't know what's going on but it has got to be big, here tonight on RAW, and we're about to all find out together!"
LAWLER: "Look at this, J.R.... it's like a Who's Who of WWF superstars! The Rock is surrounded by-- it's gotta be at least fifty of them!"
J.R.: "Just listen to this ovation for the Rock, and all of these superstars here!"
CROWD: "Rock-y! Rock-y! Rock-y!"
LAWLER: "I don't know what's going on, but I think the Rock is fixing to tell us!"
THE ROCK: "Finally, the ROCK, HAS COME BACK to St. Louis!"
(crowd goes nuts)
THE ROCK: "Now you are probably wondering why every since WWF superstar is surrounding the ring with the People's champ in the middle."
(crowd pops)
LAWLER: "Yeah, we're wondering!"
THE ROCK: "Well, the Rock says, they have all asked the Rock to be their spokesman..."
J.R.: "What? Spokesperson? For what?"
THE ROCK: "And as unaccustomed to public speaking as the Rock is..."
LAWLER: "Ha!"
THE ROCK: "...he has agreed. So the Rock says, Triple H and Stephanie, bring your candy asses out here and face the ROCK!"
(crowd goes nuts as cameras show the Godfather nodding vehemently at ringside)
J.R.: "Wow! The Rock calling out the top management team of the WWF!"
LAWLER: "Uh-oh, look at this! The Rock's the mouthpiece for all the WWF superstars!"
(cameras switch backstage, where Triple H and Stephanie stand and motion for the rest of D-X)
MR. ASS: "He's calling us out?"
X-PAC: "Yeah."
ROAD DOGG: "He called US out?"
TRIPLE H: "Come on, let's go."
MR. ASS: "I didn't hear him say US..."
ROAD DOGG: "I don't think he called US out! I think he called YOU out!"
X-PAC: "Yeah, that's right! He didn't say anything about us!"
(we switch back to the ring, where the Rock continues to stand impatiently)
(Backstage, a disgusted Triple H and Stephanie leave without the three other D-X members)
ROAD DOGG: "You and your wife got us into this; you all go get us out of this!"
(back at the ring)
THE ROCK: "The Rock says... we'll try this one more time." (crowd pops) "Maybe you didn't understand the Great One; maybe you'll understand this. The Rock says, Triple H, Stephanie, bring your ROO-DY POO, CANDY ASSES!"
J.R.: "The Rock calling out Stephanie and Triple H, but D-X doesn't seem to want to accompany."
LAWLER: "They don't want to have any part of it!"
(Triple H's theme begins to crowd heat)
LAWLER: "Uh-oh... here we go, J.R.! I don't know if this is a wise move on the part of the McMahon-Helmsley era! Would you want to come out here and face about fifty WWF superstars AND the Rock?"
J.R.: "I don't think so. And the Rock--"
(Triple H and Stephanie come out to the stage)
J.R.: "--and well, there you see--"
LAWLER: "They're doing it! Here they come!"
J.R.: "--the WWF champion, Triple H, and his wife, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, have made their appearance here..."
LAWLER: "Oh, this does not look good... the look on the face of the Rock!"
(camera switches back to the scowling Helmsleys on stage)
LAWLER: "Look at THAT look! ...those looks."
(crowd is heaping heat upon the Helmsleys)
CROWD: "Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!"
LAWLER (as Triple H and the Rock have a stare-off): "Well?"
STEPHANIE (sounding a bit high-pitched): "Now now now... gentlemen, I don't know what you're up to..." (pauses for crowd noise) "...but-- but I'm sure--"
CROWD: "Slut! Slut! Slut!"
(Stephanie looks terribly offended and Triple H gestures threateningly at the crowd)
LAWLER: "What?"
J.R.: "Well, these fans are chanting somewhat derogatory remarks..."
LAWLER: "Well, whatever they said, it offended Stephanie!"
STEPHANIE: "...but I'm confident we can work something out."
(In the ring, the Rock is holding out his hand to stop her spiel)
LAWLER: "Uh-oh... what does THAT mean; "talk to the hand" or something?"
THE ROCK: "Let the Rock give you something you have needed for a long time." (crowd pop)
LAWLER: "Oh no..."
THE ROCK: "The Rock says, you should know your role, and SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"
(crowd goes nuts)
J.R.: "Man!"
LAWLER: "I don't think anybody's ever talked to Stephanie that way!"
THE ROCK: "Now the Rock says, we're going to talk about a couple of things. The very first thing we're going to talk about is Mick Foley."
(crowd pops as Stephanie rolls her eyes)
J.R.: "He's been fired a couple of weeks now..."
LAWLER: "That's a waste of time, talking about him! He's fired!"
THE ROCK: "Now the Rock knows that Foley's out there in the parking lot right now, here in St. Louis..." (crowd pops) "...probably selling popcorn-- hell, he's probably eating popcorn--"
(J.R. snickers)
THE ROCK: "--but the Rock says, if you do not meet our demands, we've got every since WWF superstar ready to walk out on your candy asses..."
J.R.: "Man!"
LAWLER: "Wait a minute... walk out?!"
THE ROCK: "And every single WWF superstar ready to join a new federation--"
(somewhere, Ted Turner's heart leaps up into his throat)
THE ROCK: "The WRF-- the World Rock Federation!"
J.R.: "What? My God!"
LAWLER: "The WRF?!"
J.R: "They're gonna walk out here, King! Every superstar we got is ready to take a hike!"
THE ROCK: "So the Rock says, tonight, you will reinstate Mick Foley-- NOW!"
(on stage, Triple H and Stephanie exchange a look before Triple H whispers something in Steph's ear)
LAWLER: "Wait a minute; this is--"
J.R. (yelling at the Helmsleys): "Reinstate Mick Foley! And they mean right now!"
LAWLER: "What?!... these guys are gonna WALK if they don't!"
STEPHANIE (addressing the Rock): "Yes!"
CROWD: "FOLEY! FOLEY! FOLEY!"
J.R.: "The Rock's gonna start his own federation with all these superstars..."
LAWLER: "You can't pressure the McMahon-Helmsley era like that! Can they?"
TRIPLE H (taking the mic away from his wife): "All right, Rock, you want Foley reinstated? As of right now, Mick Foley is back in the World Wrestling Federation--"
(big crowd pop)
J.R.: "All right! All right!"
LAWLER (referring to Triple H): "He buckled under!"
TRIPLE H: "But not, NOT, because you say so. It was already in the works; as a matter of fact, we were going to reinstate him today anyway."
(crowd heat)
J.R. (sarcastically): "Sure, sure you were."
LAWLER: "You doubting him?"
J.R.: "Yeah."
THE ROCK: "Secondly, the Rock says, he's been in all types of matches as of late. The pink slip on a pole match--"
LAWLER: "That was a good one."
THE ROCK: "--the "you're fired" handicap match, and the Rock says that, as of tonight, there is no way... AND THE ROCK MEANS..."
CROWD: "No way!"
THE ROCK: "...no way matches like that will ever happen again."
LAWLER: "What? Those were good matches, J.R.! "Pink slip on a pole" was the best!"
(Triple H is whispering something else in Steph's ear)
J.R.: "It's only fair if they agree... I guarantee that these boys--"
STEPHANIE (to the Rock): "That-- that seems fair... that seems fair."
J.R.: "I take that as a "yes."
CROWD: "Slut! Slut! Slut!"
LAWLER: "I can't believe they're bowing to the pressure!"
J.R. (gesturing at the wrestlers at ringside): "Everybody-- look at all these-- fifty guys are ready to walk out of here!"
LAWLER: "...can't just come out here and issue ultimatums!"
THE ROCK: "It sounds to the Great One that there's fifteen thousand Rock fans calling you a slut!"
(transcriber's note: gimmick infringement! Where are you 3:16?)
LAWLER: "Don't think he should have went there, J.R.!"
TRIPLE H: "I thought they were talking to you, Rock."
(Stephanie smiles brightly; crowd heat)
LAWLER: "Uh-oh... this is gonna get ugly!"
(The Rock smirks and continues)
THE ROCK: "And thirdly, the Rock says this-- you like to throw around your weight, like you're a big shot, like you're the Rock; well the Rock says, as far as anybody being fired, is that as of tonight, there is no one who will ever get fired again unless there is just due, jabronis."
(crowd pop)
J.R.: "They've got to agree to that, King! That's fair!"
LAWLER: "Everyone was gonna walk out-- I can't BELIEVE this is happening!"
TRIPLE H: "That's fair, too. Hey, you guys gotta realize one thing-- all we're about is fairness--"
(Mankind's theme interrupts; Triple H and Steph turn in disgust, expecting to confront Mankind. Crowd pops like crazy)
LAWLER: "Uh-oh... oh no! THAT didn't take long!"
J.R.: "Well, where's Mick?"
LAWLER: "I don't know! Last time I saw him, he was valet-parking cars out there!"
J.R.: "Mick Foley's been reinstated... we hear his music... but..."
LAWLER: "Watch your back, watch your back! He could be anywhere!"
(Mankind suddenly comes tumbling over the barricade, having entered through the crowd)
J.R.: "There he is! My God, Mick Foley's been reinstated! Mick Foley's back in the WWF!"
(As Triple H and Steph fume on stage, Mankind climbs into the ring and plays to the crowd)
J.R.: "I don't care if Triple H and his wife were pressured into it or not! The bottom line is that Mick Foley's back! He's got a job!"
LAWLER: "This has gotta be the worst day so far for the McMahon-Helmsley era, though, J.R.!"
MANKIND: "First off, I would like to acknowledge the dozens..."
CROWD (after ending a "Fo-ley" chant): "And dozens..."
MANKIND: "...of Mankind fans who sent out their care, their cards, and their letters. Second off, I'd like to thank the Great One..." (crowd pops) "...not only for the kind words he inscribed to me in his new book, but for sticking his neck on the line in support of me."
(crowd pops again)
LAWLER: "Thank him? You ought to kiss his feet!"
MANKIND: "But as it refers to the McMahon-Helmsley era, I want to say I condemn you for ridiculing me, for making fun of me, for mocking my family, and I've got a couple of suggestions I'd like to make in concern to the Royal Rumble; you see, I think I've got a hell of a main event lined up, and it concerns you, and it concerns me, in Madison Square Garden..."
(big crowd pop)
LAWLER: "Wait a minute... what's Foley saying?"
MANKIND: "Before you think about it, I'd also like to add a couple of special stipulations at a later date, and with the knowledge that we've got about fifty wrestlers ready to walk on a moment's notice, I suggest you make up your mind, right about... now."
J.R.: "Mick challenging Triple H for the Royal Rumble; that's less than two weeks away... for the WWF title, it sounds to me like!"
TRIPLE H: "You want me at the Garden, you want me at the Rumble?"
MANKIND: "You're damn right I want your ass at the Rumble!"
TRIPLE H: "You got it!"
(crowd pops)
LAWLER: "Wha?"
J.R.: "All right! It's a done deal!"
LAWLER: "I can't believe it!"
MANKIND: "'Cause, you see, Triple H, the way that I figure it, is when I get my--"
(Mankind stops abruptly when he notices the Rock holding up his hand. Mankind hands over the stick)
LAWLER: "Look at this, J.R..."
THE ROCK: "Well, seeing as the WWF title match is set for the Royal Rumble, the Rock says, he's going to take it upon himself to include himself in another match at the Royal Rumble." (crowd pop) "The Rock says, as the People's champion, the Rock is going to throw his name in the hat and be a participant in the thirty-man Royal Rumble."
(crowd pops)
J.R.: "All right, the Rock's in!"
LAWLER: "Who's calling the shots around here, J.R.?"
And the Rock says, that night, at Madison Square Garden, New York City, the Rock says, he is going to take twenty-nine other... jabronis... one, by one, by damn one..." (making the "toss your ass out of the ring" gesture) "...over the top rope, the Rock, standing in the middle of the ring, going to WrestleMania to face YOU..." (points to Triple H) "...or YOU." (points to Mankind)
(crowd pops as Mankind gets the stick back)
MANKIND: "Rock, that sounds like a hell of a matchup, but let's not just waste all our energy on the Royal Rumble! It seems to me we've got about twenty thousand screaming fans right here in St. Louis, Missouri!"
(huge crowd pop)
LAWLER: "Yeah!"
J.R.: "Oh... I'm not sure where THIS is going."
MANKIND: "So why don't we put our heads together and come up with a hell of a show for this evening?"
LAWLER: "What is he TALKING about?"
TRIPLE H: "A hell of a show is not your job to come up with!"
MANKIND: "Wait, wait, no, these are just suggestions, Triple H! Because you know I've been out on the road and, doggone it, not a day goes by when someone doesn't come up to me and say, "Mick, who do you think the toughest of the two New Age Outlaws is?" And I think we deserve to find out. With your permission, I think we ought to book that match, right here in St. Louis tonight."
(crowd pop)
J.R.: "What? That's Mr. Ass versus the Road Dogg?"
LAWLER: "Oh, look at this; wait, wait."
(cameras backstage find the Road Dogg and Mr. Ass looking at the television with some mixture of disbelief)
TRIPLE H: "And I suppose if we don't, everybody walks?"
MANKIND: "Everybody walks."
J.R.: "Man."
LAWLER: "This is extortion, or something like that."
TRIPLE H: "Outlaw versus Outlaw, sure, that ought to be a hell of a match, sure."
MANKIND: "That IS great, but, you know... while you were talking about that, I had another idea. You see, it seems to me you told X-Pac..."
(cameras show the Outlaws getting upset backstage, and X-Pac leaning into the TV)
MANKIND: "...that he was just as good as you were on SmackDown, and I'm not sure everybody believes it. So I think we ought to find out, by golly!"
J.R.: "What?"
LAWLER: "Wait a minute!"
MANKIND: "And hey, once again, Triple H, with your permission, I think we ought to see you and we ought to see X-Pac in this very ring tonight!"
J.R.: "Man!"
(cameras show X-Pac grinning in the back)
ROAD DOGG (to X-Pac): "I'd like to be in your shoes and get in there with him."
LAWLER: "Look at X-Pac! He likes it!"
STEPHANIE: "You got it, Mick! You got it!"
J.R.: "Stephanie just accepted for Triple H."
(Triple H and Steph start to leave),br>
THE ROCK: "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa-- the Rock says, we're not done."
J.R.: "Uh-oh..."
LAWLER: "More?!"
J.R.: "What else could there be?"
THE ROCK: "You see, as sure as the Rock is standing in this ring, and as sure as you two roody poos are standing on the stage, the Rock says that if your candy asses make it through the entire night, there's one more match. It's going to be the entire D-X facing the Acolytes."
(crowd pop)
LAWLER (sounding SUPER freaked-out): "Oh NO!"
J.R.: "Man, that's..."
TRIPLE H (grinning): "Oh yeah, that's great. All four of us against the Acolytes; no sweat. You're on."
(Triple H and Steph turn to leave again)
THE ROCK: "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa-- the Rock is not done."
(crowd pop)
J.R.: "Uh-oh..."
LAWLER: "It's going from bad to worse!"
THE ROCK: "You see, the Acolytes won't be alone-- they're going to have a tag team with them, and that tag team is going to be the Rock and Sock Connection!"
(big crowd pop)
J.R.: "Oh MAN!"
LAWLER: "WHAT?!"
(Behind the Rock, Mankind literally jumps for joy and tries to embrace the Rock. Rock jerks away in typical Rock fashion)
J.R.: "The Rock and Sock Connection--"
LAWLER: "Tonight?!"
J.R.: "--back together with the Acolytes, against D-X!"
THE ROCK: "IF YA SMEEEELLLLLALALALLALAOW! What the ROCK IS COOKIN'!"
J.R.: "Well, I'll tell you what! You've got X-Pac versus Triple H tonight, Mr. Ass versus the Road Dogg--"
LAWLER: "This is blackmail! This is extortion!"
J.R.: "--and the Rock and Sock Connection, with the Acolytes, facing D-X! Oh, what a hellacious night this is going to be! Will D-X be able to survive RAW tonight?!"
-- Lawler still ranting
-- Mr. Ass yelling at Triple H backstage
"Let them walk out! We're the one's talented! Let them walk out; WE can put on a two-hour show!"
-- Triple H and the Road Dogg backstage
"Oh, SHUT UP!"
-- Triple H and Mr. Ass backstage
-- sign in the crowd
-- sign in the crowd
-- sign in the crowd
-- J.R.; the crowd boos when the Outlaws are reluctant to fight
"They're not fieldhands! They're not circus animals!"
-- Lawler and J.R., arguing due to the wrestlers being allowed to make their own matches
-- sign in the crowd
-- a group of chicks in the front row, who damn near go over the barricade when the Road Dogg lands in front of them
-- some guy in the crowd as Mr. Ass beats Road Dogg up at ringside
-- Kurt Angle, catching heat
-- Lawler
-- Lawler as Steve Blackman swings Jeff Hardy face-first into the steps (STEEL steps)
-- Jericho sucking up to Chyna backstage
-- Val Venis
-- J.R. to Lawler during the Tazz promo
-- Lawler
-- Mr. Ass, still yelling at Road Dogg backstage
-- Chris Jericho, pointing to a row of "RAW is JERICHO" signs (at least six) at ringside
"Let's not go there, King."
"Here, kitty kitty kitty kitty..."
"I figured you'd go that direction."
-- Lawler and J.R. as Chyna and Y2J tussle over the belt
-- Chris Jericho, to a huge pop
-- Lawler on Jericho's remarks to his partner
"Oooooh, Crash!"
"Chyna got her shin up--"
"Her WHAT up?"
"Her shin."
"Oh."
-- J.R. and Lawler
-- Jericho, walking off (with the IC belt) after his and Chyna's loss
MANKIND: "This is an ancient secret know as the Chinese water torture!"
(Mankind spills a few drops onto fake Mankind's head)
FAKE MANKIND (cringing): "Ack, God!"
(Mankind snickers)
MANKIND: "Where little by little, I drop some of this hot coffee on your head--"
(Mankind spills a little more onto fake Mankind's head)
FAKE MANKIND: "Ack, God!"
MANKIND: "--and over the course of several hours--"
(Mankind spills some more, but this time fake Mankind jerks so hard he hits the cup and spills a lot of the coffee)
MANKIND: "Aw, screw it!"
(Mankind throws the rest of the coffee into fake Mankind's face)
-- sign in the crowd
-- Lawler, as the guys in the production truck show the replay of X-Pac's nutshot anyway
-- J.R. (referencing the nutshot)
"Would you really like me to bust a move?"
"Would I? Either that, or spontaneously combust."
-- Lawler and J.R. as Too Cool makes their entrance
"Somewhere around Mars, Uranus... I don't know, somewhere in another galaxy. Somewhere around Uranus."
-- Lawler and J.R.
-- J.R. (he's just FULL of them tonight!)
-- Lawler
"Posterior? And Rikishi didn't even turn the other cheek."
-- Lawler and J.R.
-- Lawler on Rikishi
-- sign at ringside
"C'mon, J.R., bust that move for me!"
"I'll save it for the Royal Rumble."
-- J.R. and Lawler as Too Cool and Rikishi dance
-- Lawler as the Godfather and hos enter
-- Lawler on the Dudley Boyz
-- Mankind, giving Tori a slap on the ass (crowd pops big for that)
-- J.R. as Kane attacks the fake Mankind and nearly puts him through the wall
"...Yeah it is!"
"It is NOT! Somebody get word back there!"
-- Lawler and J.R. as Kane kicks fake Mankind's ass
-- Lawler on Test
"You're kidding; it's over?!"
-- J.R. and Lawler as Test pins Prince Al
"You're just GIDDY, aren't you?"
-- J.R. and Lawler as J.R. anticipates the destruction of D-X
-- sign in the crowd
-- Mr. Ass after Mankind comes over to berate him a little
-- Lawler
"Well, don't cry for me, Argentina! They'll get what they deserve; you reap what you sow in this world, King!"
"...What does that have to do with Argentina?"
-- Lawler and J.R.
-- J.R. on the Acolytes
-- J.R. as Road Dogg, Mr. Ass, and X-Pac all take off, refusing to help the Helmsleys
"She put her hands on him first!"
-- Lawler and J.R. as Mankind threatens Stephanie with Mr. Socko
-- J.R. (when they show Steph just before this scene, check out the guy dressed as Goldust in the crowd behind her-- dead wringer)
-- Lawler as a maskless Mick Foley goes on a rampage
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