Quotes: RAW September 20, 1999
"Well, the Rock says--"
"It doesn't MATTER what you say!"
"Oh, it matters what the Rock says!"
-- the Rock and somebody in the crowd
"They come out here, they spout their commandments. Well, we've got three commandments too; it's real simple! Number one, thou shalt not... drink our beer!"
-- Bradshaw
"Undertaker, what's going on?! Undertaker! What's happening, Undertaker?!"
-- Lawler as Kane begins to beat up the Undertaker's cronies
"Like all of a sudden, nobody knows the Rock talks trash? The Rock lives, breathes, walks, talks trash all day long! As a matter of fact, Undertaker, the Rock talks trash in his sleep!"
-- the Rock ad-libbing like crazy during his interview with Michael Cole
"The Dudleys are going to get the VIP treatment this Sunday-- Very Intense Pain!"
-- Jerry Lawler
"Pepper, I'm sorry that we couldn't put you in a real graveyard. The people wouldn't let me; they were going to call the police. At least I finally gave you a proper burial. Now that your suffering's at end, I hope you rest in peace. I let you down in life, but I'm not going to let you down in death. Come Unforgiven, we're going to make sure that Bossman pays! He's going to burn in hell! He's going to pay for what he did to you, Pepper."
-- Al Snow over Pepper's grave
"Look at you just looking at the Rock, gawking at the Rock; you ought to be ashamed of yourself, a woman your age looking at the Rock!"
-- the Rock to Louise, the old lady backstage
"My God, that's gasoline!"
"What?"
"For God's sake, that's gasoline!"
"They're going to set him on fire!"
-- JR and Lawler as Viscera pours gasoline on Kane
"Rock, can I keep the shirt? And in case you're wondering, sicko, things between me and the Rock are strictly platonic."
-- Mankind to Michael Cole
"I hope Chyna kicks Jarrett's ass on pay-per-view Sunday!"
-- JR
"I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago!"
"I'd say one of these guys isn't going to make it to Sunday!"
-- the Undertaker to Kane, and a comment from Lawler
"I don't think it's fair for Stone Cold Steve Austin to be allowed to be the enforcer."
"Why's that?"
"C'mon, let's face it; that's stacking the deck!"
"Against who?"
"Everybody; he'll kick everybody's butt!"
-- JR and Lawler
"I think the Undertaker may be coming out here for you, JR."
"For what reason?"
"Well... dead bodies, I guess!"
-- Lawler and JR
"Houston Texas s-s-s-s- (gets smacked on the back of the head by D-Von) sucks!"
-- Buh Buh Ray Dudley
"Stop him, Miss Kitty!"
-- Lawler after Jarrett puts Debra in the figure-four
"You keep your head right there, jabroni; don't move the Rock's electrifying T-shirt! Now the Rock says this-- the Rock said, don't move your head!"
-- the Rock after placing a T-shirt over Michael Cole's head
"There's the new WWF champion, Vince McMahon..."
"Did you ever think you would say those words in your life, JR?"
"Absolutely not!"
-- JR and Lawler
"Stephanie McMahon got the pin on Jarrett! I cannot believe that Stephanie McMahon has pinned the Intercontinental champion!"
-- JR
"Tonight we're not having a match, we're having a street fight! If he wants to come out from underneath Debra's skirt--"
"Street fight my ASS, lover boy!"
-- Test and Jeff Jarrett
"Just about every place I've been in this town, there's plenty of cockroaches!"
"They name them down here."
-- Ivory and Lawler
"Here comes the Texas rattlesnake, Stone Cold Steve Austin! And Austin is walking with a purpose here, King!"
"Oh, you can bet your... um... bottom dollar he is!"
-- JR and Lawler
"I'm told that the footage is so vile, even the World Wrestling Federation can't show this."
-- Lawler on footage of the Big Bossman defacing Pepper's grave
"You mean, the Big Show's got to defend the tag team titles by himself?"
"Listen, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. The Big Show is being prepared for something much larger than the world tag team titles."
-- JR and the Undertaker
"The Undertaker's gonna kill somebody!"
-- Lawler
"We ran one team from Extremely Crappy Wrestling out of the World Wrestling Federation; we're going to run them out too."
-- Bradshaw referring to the Dudley Boyz and (I think) the Insane Clown Posse
"Listen to this, Rock. I want you to get your TV writers that write all your comedy schtick for you, and get them to write you a eulogy!"
-- the Undertaker
"I think the Big Valbowski had replaced Blackman's nunchucks and kendo sticks with a vibrator!"
"A what?"
"You never seen one of those?"
"I never saw anything that looked like THAT in my life!"
-- Lawler and JR
"You might be the special enforcer, but I'll tell you what, jack! You stick your nose in my business and you will go right up on that cripple shelf where I left you the last time we were in the ring together."
-- Triple H to Austin
"These new refs are worse than the old ones! If that's possible."
-- Lawler
"Paybacks are a bitch, Triple H, and tonight you will learn the meaning of the word payback! Tonight, in that very ring, it's you and Chyna in a special tag team match against Shane and Vince McMahon (in the ring, Vince's eyes go huge), because the McMahon boys want to get them some!"
-- Shane McMahon
"He's tearing up the sign of that Jericholic! Looks like he's headed to rehab."
-- Lawler as Jericho rips up a fan's sign
THE ROCK: "All the Rock's fans are chanting his name..."
CROWD: "Rock-y, Rock-y, Rock-y..."
MANKIND (slightly out of sync with the crowd): "Rock-y, Rock-y..."
(The Rock gets in Mankind's face and shuts him up)
"It's that skan-- it's Luna!"
-- Lawler as Luna surprises Ivory in the ring
"Get off me, man!"
-- Referee to Jericho as Y2J tries to distract him
"For those of you who don't believe that anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation, I guess you're a believer now!"
-- Vince McMahon on his status as WWF champ
OLD LADY: "Today's my birthday!"
THE ROCK: "It is?"
OLD LADY: "Yes!"
THE ROCK: "Well, happy birthday. What is your name?"
OLD LADY: "Louise."
THE ROCK: "IT-- (bites back hard on the traditional comeback) Louise; well, it's good to meet you, Louise."
"Okay, I'll admit that Curtis Hughes had a little bit to do with this..."
-- Lawler after Hughes assists Jericho by DDTing BABG on the concrete
"Now, Houston, can I just be frank and candid for a minute?"
"No!"
-- Ivory and the crowd
"That's got to be one of the coolest entrances in the entire WWF!"
-- Lawler on the entrance of the New Brood
"Somebody's going to walk away from Unforgiven as the new WWF champion, undisputed, this Sunday."
"That would be the Undertaker."
-- JR and the Undertaker
"You've got to get in there; smash smash smash!"
"All right, no problem with smash; just... chill!"
-- Shane and Vince McMahon preparing for the match
"Shades of X-Pac with a bronco buster!"
-- JR as Shane McMahon hits the buster on Triple H
"Don't anybody set off any pyro or light any matches or anything; the fumes are everywhere! Put that cigarette out, JR!"
"I'm not smoking!"
-- Lawler and JR
"Look at that stupid look on Blackman's face. Y'know, this guy is so stupid he could have starred in the movie "Forrest Hump."
"Is that one of the movies you were in?"
-- Venis and Lawler
"The Rock's not even listening to you! The Rock can't even hear himself talk, for Christ's sake..."
"Um... roody poo!"
-- The Rock and Mankind backstage
"Well, because this... (pauses and checks to see what she's holding in her hand) belt, finally has some class..."
-- Ivory suffering a mental lapse
"Springboard off the tope turnbuckle... that was a hell of an athletic move by Jericho."
"Watch your mouth!"
-- JR and Lawler
"Michael Cole, know your mouth and shut your role!"
-- Mankind to Michael Cole
"Even though I still hate your guts, and hell, you might even still hate mine, I will say this: this place just hasn't been the same without you, you silly bastard!"
"I think that was a compliment!"
-- Austin to Vince, and a comment from JR
"I don't believe this; this is a bunch of monkey crap; they BROKE the Rock's ROLEX!"
-- the Rock ranting after breaking in on Mankind's interview
"Mark Henry assaulting D'Lo Brown from behind!"
"Well, I think D'Lo deserved it."
-- JR and Lawler
"The nerve of the World Wrestling Federation to bring these two punk-@ss kids up here with little or no experience and stick them in the ring with us... and call-- what, the pay-per-view this Sunday; Unforgiven?"
-- Faarooq suffering a mental lapse
"I think, here in Houston, they're calling your name again..."
"Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!"
-- Vince and the crowd to Triple H
"Where in the hell have our cameras gone?"
"I don't know, but I like it! I love it!"
"That woman's naked!"
"Yahoo!"
-- JR and Lawler as the WWF cameras visit a "gentleman's club"
"Kane, enough is enough. I've given you every opportunity to earn my respect, for me to forgive you for everything you've ever done... but no. You're weak, you're a coward, and tonight it ends, right here; get down here; somebody is leaving flat tonight!"
-- the Undertaker
"Val, welcome to ringside."
"Thank you, JR; you're not going to be a stiff on me, are you?"
"Oh, JR never gets stiff on you."
-- JR, Val Venis, and Lawler
"The Rock was minding his own business, walking in the building; was not scheduled to layeth the smacketh down tonight; he was singing a happy birthday song to... uh... what was that old lady's name again?"
"I think it was--"
"It doesn't MATTER what her name was!"
-- the Rock and Michael Cole
"What's that surprise the Undertaker is talking about, and what are darkside rules?"
-- JR questioning the upcoming tag title match
"Did he say Ack-ee-lites? Is that a car, or--"
"No, he's talking about the Acolytes, Faarooq and Bradshaw."
"Oh, oh yeah."
-- Lawler and JR
"...and you look at Viscera, looking like a big fat ass Fat Albert..."
-- the Rock
"You either give me my slot in the six-pack match, or I swear to God, and Vince, you look me dead in my eyes and you will know that I am not lying, you will personally watch as one of your family members takes a ride out of this building on a stretcher!"
-- Triple H
"Before this night is over, I want his heart IN MY HAND!"
-- the Undertaker, referring to Kane
"Hey, Val... something in that bag of Blackman's weapons is buzzing!"
-- Lawler
"With you relinquishing the World Wrestling Federation title and taking yourself out of the match at Unforgiven, that leaves only five people in a six-pack match and you can believe me, nobody here knows a six-pack better than Stone Cold Steve Austin!"
-- Austin
"Louise, you like pancakes? You got a little funny feeling in your stomach, right here, lower abdomen? Well, it's probably gas, Louise, because a woman your age gets that every once in a while, but the Rock says this. There's something you can do; you go right down to the drugstore, you buy the biggest bottle of Maalox, you turn it sideways-- never mind, Louise..."
-- the Rock to Louise, the old lady backstage
"Screw you, Vince!"
"Oh, no no, uh-uh. Screw me, Vince McMahon? No, no, screw you; since the referees are on strike, guess what? There is now a special enforcer in the six-pack challenge, and his name is Stone Cold Steve Austin!"
-- Triple H and Vince
"Rock and Mankind will be lucky if they even make it to Unforgiven."
"Mankind will be lucky if he makes it back to the ring after that!"
-- the Undertaker and Lawler, after the Big Show slams Mankind
"What do we have here? It looks like the Big Red Machine."
"Is that the surprise you were talking about?"
"Blood is thicker than water."
-- the Undertaker and JR as Kane comes to ringside
"I'll tell you this about Mankind: he's not too smart, but he leads the league in nosehairs!"
-- Lawler
"I'll reinstate your ass back in the World Wrestling Federation right now, if you grant me my World Wrestling Federation title shot!"
"Then I'm going to consider myself reinstated, because you just got your title shot!"
-- Austin and Vince
"Hey, JR-- do you think these guys have what it takes to be the WWF tag team champions again?
"Well--"
"It doesn't MATTER what you think!"
-- Lawler and JR on Mankind and the Rock
"It takes a really tough guy to pick on a poor, defenseless animal! So I'll tell you what, let's see how tough you really are; why don't we have us a hardcore match? Let's see if you've got what it takes to be a Hardcore Champion! I know I'm tough, because I'm hardcore twenty-four seven! Hey Bossman, you're always talking about hard times this, hard times that... but from what I saw in the back earlier, you couldn't give anyone a HARD time, let alone be HARDcore!"
-- Hardcore Holly to the Big Bossman
"The Rock and Mankind just won the tag team titles a few minutes ago, and now the Rock and Mankind have saved Kane from being set on fire by the Undertaker!"
-- JR
"The McMahon family jewels just got racked!"
-- JR after Chyna low-blows Shane McMahon
"Oh!"
"Oh, good God!"
"I TOLD you not to bring that drink out here, JR!"
-- the crowd, JR, and Lawler after Holly smashes a glass pitcher in the Big Bossman's face
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