Quotes: RAW is WAR, October 18, 1999
Live from Ohio State University
The Rock, Austin, and Triple H all come to the ring during the opening segment, and Vince McMahon arranges a triple threat match between the three for Survivor Series. The Acolytes are involved in a card game backstage with Curtis Hughes and Howard Finkel. The Hollies demand a title shot. The Big Bossman challenges the Big Show to a hardcore title match; Big Show agrees. Mark Henry's fourth sex therapy session. Moolah and Mae Young fight backstage. Mankind gives the Rock a copy of his book. Later, Al Snow finds said book in the garbage and Mankind has a violent confrontation with the Rock. Chris Jericho confronts Chyna (w/ Miss Kitty) in the ring. The Big Show finds out his father passed away, but it turns out to be a setup courtesy the Big Boss Man. In-ring confrontation between the New Brood, Edge and Christian, Gangrel, and Terri.
Kane and X-Pac vs. the Dudley Boyz; the Headbangers interfere. The Godfather (w/ hos) vs. Viscera (w/ Mideon). The British Bulldog vs. Test; the Mean Street Posse interferes. Val Venis vs. Al Snow. New Age Outlaws vs. the Acolytes (w/ Howard Finkel). The Rock and Sock Connection (C) vs. the Holly cousins; the Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin interfere.
"Anything can happen here in the WWF, and we're live as hell!"
-- J.R. as half the top rope comes down into the ring during the NAO/Acolytes match
"You know, I love being in this business, and I love being the absolute best in this buisness. I've always been proud, never been ashamed to be a part of it... until now. Because standing in the ring is the greatest embarrassment that this business has ever seen! Standing in the ring is proof that this business is in a downward spiral, especially the World Wrestling Federation! Standing in the ring is Chyna, the new Intercontinental champion, and that makes me ABSOLUTELY SICK!"
-- Chris Jericho
"There's no way a human can be at one hundred percent after being hit in the ribs repeatedly with a sledgehammer!"
-- Lawler as the Rock heads ringside
"Let me go on record as saying, if you've got a question as to what I'm saying, take your little silk shirt off! You know Stone Cold can take care of business right here, right now!"
-- Austin to the Rock
"Oh, flying headbutt below the belt!"
"Now I think X-Pac's gonna have a speech impediment! His voice is gonna be about four octaves higher!"
-- J.R. and Lawler after a low blow by the Dudleys
"Austin, you crossed paths with me last night, and what the toughest S.O.B. got-- what the man got-- was BEAT."
-- Triple H to Stone Cold
BUH BUH RAY DUDLEY: "Every week we come out here, you people make fun of the way I t-t-t-t-"
(D-Von smacks him on the back of the head)
BUH BUH: "Talk!" (leers at Kane) "Well at least I CAN talk!"
(the crowd hoots in anticipation)
J.R.: "I wouldn't go there, Buh Buh."
BUH BUH: "Have you ever listened to yourself, boy?"
(the crowd hoots louder as X-Pac tries to calm Kane down)
BUH BUH (imitating Kane): "My name is Kane. I'm a big red re-re-re-re--"
(Kane leaps forward and grabs Buh Buh around the throat as the bell rings)
"We were less than half a count away from a Big Valbowski victory."
"That ain't easy to say, is it?"
"Not for this old Okie."
"COME ON!!"
-- J.R. and Lawler (Lawler then becomes a Val Venis cheerleader at ringside)
"You're thinking you want to face Stone Cold Steve Austin at Survivor Series. You're thinking you want to face the Rock at Survivor Series. You know what? I bet you're even thinking you want to face them both on the same night at Survivor Series! I mean, let's face it-- you being the Game and all, why, you not only want to face them both on the same night, you want to face them at the same time! Yeah! And that's why, Triple H, at Survivor Series, you will defend the WWF championship in a triple threat match against both Austin and the Rock!"
-- Vince McMahon
"Whoa... I think the rope broke!"
-- Lawler on the NAO/Acolytes match, as the top rope breaks only seconds in
"Mick doesn't even have his tag title belt with him!"
-- J.R. as a half-hearted Mankind shows up for the main event
"And Triple H, at Survivor Series, as sure as the sun sets, the Rock is gonna take that sledgehammer..."
(huge pop)
"Don't tell me he's gonna shine it up!"
"Shine it up real nice..."
"Oh!"
"Turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!"
-- the Rock and Lawler
"Oh, you didn't know?"
-- the Road Dogg, as the crowd leaps to its feet as one
"U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!"
-- the crowd to the patriotic hos (you know the network was loving it)
"...at a combined weight of allegedly over eight hundred pounds..."
-- Lillian Garcia as the Hollies go ringside
"Vince, how long before you realize you can't get the job done? It doesn't matter whether you put me against five guys at one time, it doesn't matter whether you change the stipulations at the last minute, it doesn't matter whether you bring in the almighty Austin! I will always come out on top!"
-- Triple H
"Last night at No Mercy, I proved that I can beat any man at any time. I am the ONLY female Intercontinental champion in the history of the WWF... that feels pretty damn good."
-- Chyna
HARDCORE HOLLY: "How many good superheavyweight teams do you have around here?"
VINCE MCMAHON: "Well, we're got--"
HARDCORE: "WE'RE the only good superheavyweight team you have, okay? Now, last night at No Mercy, we beat the New Age Outlaws."
VINCE: "That was a disqualification, wasn't it?"
CRASH HOLLY: "We did beat them!"
HARDCORE: "Shut up. We deserve a title shot tonight!"
VINCE: "You want a title shot tonight?"
HARDCORE: "Yes, we do."
VINCE: "I'm not so sure you deserve it... but it's going to be entertaining as hell. Best of luck to you."
"We saw the big tit last night! T.I.T.!"
"Will you stop that? You can't say "tit" on television."
-- Lawler and J.R., referring to No Mercy's Terri Invitational Tournament
"X-Pac and Kane... King, they look like the relationship is back on solid ground again."
"Eh... I'm not so sure about that."
-- J.R. and Lawler as Kane and X-Pac head to the ring
"The Rock may have to do this all on his own here tonight!"
-- J.R. as Mankind refuses to help the Rock in their tag team title defense against the Hollies
"Well, we go from famine to the feast..."
-- J.R. finding a bridge between Mark Henry's problems and the entrance of the Godfather
"Oh baby, look at the headlights!"
"Folks, we've just been notified that this Thursday night on SmackDown--"
"Is this a great country or WHAT?!"
"Listen to this, King; you're going to like this! This Thursday night on SmackDown, the WWF Womens title will be on the line-"
"Ack! What?"
"The Fabulous Moolah will take on Johnny Mae Young!"
-- Lawler and J.R. as the hos enter the ring
"Jesus Christ, son, if you weren't so goddamn stupid as to hit me right in the damn stomach with that sledgehammer, you'd be talking to Stone Cold Steve Austin instead of Triple H, and that's what I've got to say about that!"
-- Stone Cold to the Rock
"Oh, look out here! Bronco buster! X-Pac is riding D-Von!"
-- J.R.
"Hey Harold, make yourself useful! Fix that rope!"
-- Lawler to Howard Finkel during the NAO/Acolytes match
"What an ovation for the Great One! The Rock, whose career was threatened at No Mercy due to that sledgehammer attack by the Game, Triple H! It's lucky that the Rock is even able to stand today."
-- J.R.
"Look at this! We've got the New Age Outlaws getting sewn up in the back and watching this match at the same time!"
-- Lawler as the NAO checks out the tag team title match on a monitor backstage while receiving medical attention
"Where are we going to be coming from Thursday, Jurassic Park? Heh... Moolah against Mae Old!"
-- Lawler anticipating an upcoming SmackDown! matchup for the Women's title
"Now the stage is set! Survivor Series, 1999, Triple H, the Game, facing the People's champion. Triple H, you think that the Rock will let you get away for one single solitary second? Putting a sledgehammer to these ribs? Well, these aren't just anybody's ribs. These are the ROCK's ribs, these are the GREAT ONE's ribs... and dammit, these are the PEOPLE's ribs."
-- the Rock
"Oh, Sexual Chocolate!"
-- Mark Henry's new therapist jumping atop him, victim to his charms
"You know what I'm thinking? It just dawned on me; I should be elated; I should be happy! I think we really are, finally, seeing the end of the Rock and Sock Connection!"
-- Lawler
"Look, Chyna's got a little Mini-Me!"
-- Lawler as Miss Kitty comes out as a minature version of Chyna
"I ain't got nothing else! Everything's out on the table!"
"What about your bitch?"
-- Curtis Hughes playing poker with the Acolytes, and Bradshaw suggesting that Howard Finkel be placed on the table as well
"You don't make fun of somebody just because they have a deformity or deficiency or impediment! I mean, nobody makes fun of you, J.R., just 'cause you got a speech impediment!"
-- Lawler
MANKIND (addressing the Rock, who is sitting in a locker room): "Hey Rock? How could you do that?" (the Rock looks up, then away) "How COULD YOU?!"
THE ROCK (stands up, surprised by Mankind's tone): "How could the Rock do what?"
MANKIND: "I give you a present, I give you something I've worked hard on, and you just throw it away?"
ROCK: "What are you talking about, your book?"
MANKIND (pulling his mask off and throwing it into the lockers): "NO, it's not ABOUT my book! It's my LIFE! It's MY work, it's MY blood, MY sweat, MY tears; and you would TAKE it, and you would throw it AWAY?!"
ROCK: "Mick, the Rock doesn't know what you're talking ab--"
MANKIND: "GODDAMMIT!" (wrestles off Rock 'n' Sock Connection jacket as the USA censors take a few liberties) "This isn't about the Rock and Sock Connection; it's about the fact that I give, I give, I give, and you keep on taking! And so I say to you, Dwayne, I say you piss on everything I believe in, I say piss on YOU, you self-centered, egotistical... self-righteous son OF A BITCH!!"
ROCK: "Whoa whoa whoa, you want to come in here and run your mouth at the Rock; barge in on the Rock? Well, the Rock says this--"
MANKIND: "No, *I* say this! I say this! I say I don't want to know you, I don't want to fight you, Rock; I don't want to work with you, I don't want to even know you exist! So one last time, I walk down the aisle tonight. And after that, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, you and me, no more. You live with that, and GROW UP!"
"What used to be the second most important championship in this entire industry, held by such legends as Ricky Steamboat (faint pop), Randy Savage (slightly louder pop), Rick Rude (good pop), the Mountie, is now in the hands of an incompetent woman? I mean, the last shreds of credibility that this business had were thrown away when the powers-that-be decided that this... girl was championship material. Just the thought of you as a credible and believeable champion is an idea even more ridiculously enhanced than your breasts are!"
-- Chris Jericho to Chyna
"That's earth-shattering!"
"Earth-shattering? That's an outrage!"
-- J.R. and Lawler on the Survivor Series main event
"I think those guys just won Harold!"
"Howard."
-- Lawler and J.R. as the Acolytes win Howard Finkel
"Boss Man a geunine low-life in my book..."
-- J.R.
"Speaking of superheavyweights... seems like that'd give her back problems."
-- Lawler commenting on the patriotic ho's "headlights
"Let's talk about what happened last night at No Mercy. If you ask me, X-Pac screwed his own partner, Kane! You know he did."
"It was every man for himself in that four-corners elimination match..."
"Oh, I thought they were such a tight team!"
-- Lawler and J.R.
"It's not written in crayon, is it?"
-- Lawler on Mankind's book
"The stars and stripes are alive tonight!"
"You're very patriotic, aren't you?"
"Yeah, old Glory is standing up right here!"
-- Lawler and J.R.
"I want you to know right now, I don't feel sorry for your dad one single bit except for having a loser of a son like you!"
-- the Big Bossman, addressing the Big Show
"Oh, there's no doubt that the four of you deserve a big congratulations. A big one! But I think the four of you owe me a bit of congratulations, too... because while you were in your hotel rooms sleeping off the beatings you gave one another..." (reaches over and pulls Terri into an embrace) "I was up all night, and I'm the only one that scored!"
-- Gangrel leering at his original and New Brood, seconds before they beat him up
"I'm sure that each and every one of you came here tonight thinking that you were going to get to see the return of the triumphant Stone Cold Steve Austin as he walked through this curtain the WWF champ. Well, you were all WRONG."
-- Triple H leering at the crowd
"I think TEST is going to have amnesia after this!"
-- Lawler as Test eats a particularly painful move from the British Bulldog
"I think the Rock actually cares about Mankind; the Rock's not that kind of human being! You know he's got some respect for Mick!"
"It's just a normal-- well, Rock's not exactly normal, he's the Great One. And that's why he could care less about Mankind!"
-- J.R. and Lawler
"I'm gonna tell you something; Buh Buh Dudley may rue the day that he made fun of the big red reta-- I mean, uh..."
"Yeah, you better be careful."
"Big red MACHINE, big red MACHINE!"
-- Lawler and J.R.
"You're old enough to be my mama!"
-- Mark Henry, trying to fight off his therapist
"I still want to know what "schiznit" is."
"I'm working on it."
-- Lawler and J.R. as the New Age Outlaws take to the ring
"You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to put my hands around the Bossman's neck when I get him in that ring, and I'm going to squeeze so tight, I'm going to SNAP him-- right in half."
-- the Big Show backstage
"My my, hey hey! Rock and roll... I mean, Rock and Sock is here to stay! ...I mess that up all the time..."
-- Mankind backstage, seeking out the Rock
"Stars and stripes forever!"
-- Lawler (one of the hos is decked out in an American flag-pattern bikini)
"I'm a yankee doodle dandy!"
-- Lawler, of course
"My daddy, my daddy! Whaaa, my daddy's gone!"
-- the Big Boss Man, as GTV reveals that the reports of the death of the Big Show's daddy were greatly exaggerated
"No love lost between these teams!"
-- J.R. as the Dudley Boyz and the Headbangers go at it
"Look, this is a treasure! This is your life's work, man; I'm sorry, but I found it in the trash can!"
-- Al Snow to Mankind, after Al finds Mankind's autobiography in the garbage can
"You know, Y2J is no Double J, and you're not going to get no cakewalk Good Housekeeping matches with me, sister. You see, I would never, EEEVER hit a woman, but you are not a woman! YOU, are a hideous, grotesque freak of nature, and I will beat the living HELL out of you to restore some credibility to that belt! And when I do so, all of these Jerichoholics will chant MY name--"
-- Chris Jericho, just before getting knocked out by an Intercontinental belt-wielding Chyna
"Jimminy-God almighty!"
-- J.R., as he and Lawler realize that the Big Boss Man planted a cop to lie to the Big Show about his father's death
"If Mick ever had a thought, it'd die of lonliness."
-- Lawler
"Boss Man sucks! Boss Man sucks! Boss Man sucks!"
-- the crowd improvising a chant for the Big Boss Man while waiting for his opponent to arrive
"The Acolytes can smell that blood!"
-- Lawler as Bradshaw pounds on a bleeding Billy Gunn
"We've got new tag team champions, thanks to Triple H!"
-- Lawler as the Hollies defeat the Rock
"This is gonna get good, right quick!"
"The Rock and the Rattlesnake, right here in the ring together..."
-- Lawler and J.R. as Austin comes to the ring to confront the Rock
"I've seen Val Venis do that in all his movies! Up and down and up and down..."
-- Lawler as Al Snow tries a number of pins in succession on Val Venis
MAE YOUNG: "Isn't she great? And the oldest woman to become champion."
FABULOUS MOOLAH: "As I was saying--"
MAE: "Can you imagine, a seventy-year-old woman becoming champion?"
MOOLAH: "I am NOT seventy years old."
MAE: "Oh yes you are, Moolah."
MOOLAH: "No matter how old I am, I'm still younger than you are, Johnny Mae."
MAE: "You couldn't have done it without me."
MOOLAH: "Calm down. You're really jealous and you're embarrassing me."
MAE: "I'm embarrassed? What do you mean, embarrassed? Have you looked in the mirror lately?"
MOOLAH: "Yes I have, and that's enough from you. You can leave now."
MAE: "I can leave now? You make me."
MOOLAH: "You really don't want me to make you..."
MAE: "Oh yes I do, and I want a title shot too!"
MOOLAH: "Michael, will you hold this belt for just a minute while I answer this question?"
(Michael takes the belt, and Moolah jumps Mae Young)
"Here it comes, and-- oh, wait! Stone Cold just put the brakes on the Rock!"
-- J.R. as the Rock skids to a stop just before giving Triple H a People's Elbow, thanks to a finger-flipping Austin blocking his path
"Hey, that knocked the referee down!"
-- Lawler on the pyros of Kane and X-Pac
"I am the single fastest up-and-coming athlete in the history of the World Wrestling Federation!"
"Up and coming!"
-- Val Venis, and a comment from Lawler
"Do you feel the electricity, J.R.?"
"No doubt about it, King!"
-- Lawler and J.R. as the Rock gets hold of the microphone
"This is as personal as it gets! The Bulldog's actions caused the postponement of Test's and Stephanie's wedding, which was scheduled for last Monday night."
"That's probably the best thing that ever happened to Stephanie."
-- J.R. and Lawler
"Triple H, I asked you out here for your opinion, that's all. Do you want to face the Rock at Survivor Series, or do you want to face Stone Cold Steve Austin at Survivor Series? What is your opinion?"
"Vince, you know what I think? I--"
"It doesn't MATTER what your opinion is!"
-- Vince, Triple H, and the Rock (unable to hold it in any longer)
"The silk shirt is coming off, and so is that rattlesnake baseball jersey, it looks like!"
-- J.R. as the crowd goes NUTS
"Let's get it on, boys; c'mon! Hook it up!"
-- Lawler as Edge and Christian come to ringside to confront the Hardy Boyz
(MANKIND finds the Rock in a locker room)
MANKIND: "Rocky! Thanks goodness I find you. Man, have I got a surprise for you! Listen Rock-- later tonight, the tag team championships are on the line; the Rock and Sock Connection--"
THE ROCK: "Whoa, whoa-- what are you talking about?"
MANKIND: "The belts!"
THE ROCK: "Listen, the Rock is not concerned about the WWF Tag Team titles. The Rock is concerned about the Rock's belt, the WWF title. That's it."
MANKIND: "Rock, there'll be time for that later, but don't lose sight of the big picture! The big picture is, the fans want to see the Rock and Sock Connection. Listen, I know you're hurt; I was there last night; you were in my thoughts last night! So what I'm gonna do for you-- and I'm no dummy, I realize you've been carrying this team-- tonight it's my turn to get back. Against the Hollies? It's my turn to show you what Mankind is all about. Listen--"
THE ROCK: "Whoa, whoa-- who are the Hollies?"
MANKIND: "Crash? Hardcore? Used to be--"
THE ROCK (growing impatient): "What exactly do you want here?"
MANKIND (handing over his book): "I want to give you this, just like you asked for this bad boy. A pre-copy of my book, just like you said, "To the Great One, Rock and Sock forever, your friend and financial part--"
THE ROCK: "Yeah, wonderful, that's great. Where is the Rock in this book?"
MANKIND: "Two-thirty."
THE ROCK: "Two-thirty? That's all the Rock needs to know." (takes the book) "Thank you VERY much Mick; really appreciate it..."
MANKIND: "Wait, wait! In case you don't finish that bad boy in one sitting, I got a little bookmark for you!" (digs out of his pocket a soiled and wrinkled Mr. Rocko) "Who's THAT peeking his face out there? Look what I got back for you last night!" (The Rock turns away in disbelief) "While you were busy in your injury and misery, I won back Mr. Rocko for you!"
THE ROCK: "You want the Rock to actually TOUCH that?"
MANKIND: "Well, I gave it a little rinse-eroo at the Super 8 sink last night."
THE ROCK: "The Rock will tell you what. Since you won it, then you keep Mr. Rocko."
MANKIND: "Do you EVER stop giving?"
LAWLER (at ringside): "You-- you-- IDIOT, Mankind!"
"That's a superheavyweight wegie right there!"
"Poor Harold!"
-- Lawler and J.R. as the Acolytes find creative means to express their displeasure with Howard Finkel
"Why would you ever want to infuriate the Big Red Machine?"
-- J.R. questioning the intelligence of the Dudleys
"I'm sick of Al's head!"
-- Lawler on Al Snow
"Last night, when the Rock swung the sledgeahmmer, it was NOT meant for Stone Cold, but it was meant for Triple H's roody poo, candy ass! Now Triple H, at Survivor Series, when the Rock is whoopin' and kickin' your monkey ass all over that arena, every single Rock fan, just like now, they will be standing on their feet,electricity running through their body, and they will all be chanting the Rock's name!"
"ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY..."
-- the Rock, and the crowd going nuts
"The best of five series could have gone either way. But last night, twenty thousand people gave the four of us a standing ovation."
"You damn right!"
"That's the truth."
"And a well-deserved one... and so are the fans here! The fans are doing it here right now, here at Ohio State University. Rising to their feet... will you look at this!"
-- Edge, someone in the crowd, Lawler, and J.R. as the crowd again gives Edge, Christian, and the Hardy Boyz a standing ovation for their No Mercy ladder match
"That'll rearrange your dental work!"
-- J.R. as Kane kicks Buh Buh in the face
"This is how the dinosaurs became extinct!"
-- Lawler on the Moolah/Young catfight backstage
"Just hours after the controversy surrounding the WWF title at last night's No Mercy, we welcome you to the campus of Ohio State University, and WWF RAW!"
-- J.R.
"I'm a worthy champion, and any of the guys that think they have the balls to come out here and take it from me can give it a shot. But take my warning! If you guys can't handle the heat, stay out of my kitchen."
-- Chyna
"Now guys... I'm shooting here. We came out here tonight out of respect. Guys, it was an honor." -- Edge as he and Christian exchange handshakes with the Hardy Boyz
"See J.R., the Game's not afraid of anybody! Stone Cold Steve Austin OR the Rock!"
-- a gleeful Lawler as Triple H steps out to the stage
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