Quotes: SmackDown!, October 28, 1999
From Springfield, Massachusetts (sold out)
D-Generation X does an in-ring interview and challenges Austin and the Rock. They also call out Vince McMahon and announce their intention to take over the company. Brief backstage shots featuring Edge and Christian, Test and Stephanie McMahon. Mark Henry is entertaining some ladies backstage. J.R. interviews the Big Show. The Rock and D-X mix it up in the parking garage; later, X-Pac and Kane talk backstage. D-X searches the arena for Stone Cold. Al Snow challenges the Big Boss Man and Prince Albert to a hardcore brawl in the parking lot. Road Dogg is snagged in a bear trap backstage; Stone Cold comes by and pours a beer on the wound. D-X later rescues Road Dogg, only to have Mr. Ass and X-Pac also fall victim to traps laid by Austin. The Big Show traps Boss Man and Albert in their car in the parking lot and pushes a dumpster onto the car, crushing the roof. D-X limps to the ring and calls out Austin. Austin comes out and drops a net on D-X from the ceiling. An in-ring brawl between D-X and Austin breaks out, with Kane and the Rock also joining in against D-X.
Edge & Christian vs. Too Cool (Brian Christopher and Scott Taylor); interference by the Holly cousins. Chris Jericho vs. Stevie "Chyna" Richards; interference from Chyna and Miss Kitty. WWF European Championship: D'Lo Brown (C) vs. the British Bulldog; interference from the Mean Street Posse. Kane and X-Pac vs. the Dudley Boyz; X-Pac turns on Kane. The Hardy Boyz (w/ Terri Runnels) vs. Viserca and Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry (w/ hos). The Big Boss Man (w/ Prince Albert) vs. Al Snow. Mankind vs. Val Venis.
"Following the apparent reunion of D-Generation X this past Monday night on RAW, we welcome you to WWF SmackDown!, on UPN!"
-- Michael Cole
"Mankind's looking for Socko here..."
"Are you sure that's what he's doing?"
"...But Socko's nowhere to be found!"
"I think Mankind just got a little weird on us for a minute."
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Mankind digs around frantically inside his sweatpants
MR. ASS: "Tonight what I think I'll do is, I'll have my boys sit front row so they have a bird's eye view of when Mr. Ass kicks Stone Cold Steve Austin's ass tonight on SmackDown!"
(solid heat from the crowd)
ROAD DOGG: "Now, since that A-double-crooked-letter got you all in such a jovial mood, let me lay a little smackdown for ya!" (solid pop from the crowd) "Rock, the other night I left you in a puddle of your own talentless puke! Tonight, I want you to bring the People's Balls right down the People's Ramp, step into the Dogghouse... and I've got but one fear! I know how much you like to shine things up and stick them up people's asses, and I know YOU know how I do my finish... and I'm afraid you just might like it when I flatten you on your back, uno, dos, tres, bitch!"
(solid heat/pop mix from the crowd)
"D-Generation X is back on top!"
(huge crowd pop)
"Back on top, Michael Cole; what do ya gotta say about THAT?"
-- X-Pac, the crowd (which seems divided on whether to give D-X pops or heat), and Lawler
"Look at Edge; how skinny is he? If you put a nickel on his head, he'd look like a nail!"
-- Lawler
"What do you want, jabroni? You want to carry the Rock's bag after the ass-whipping you got last night?"
-- the Rock to Road Dogg, as RD confronts Rock in the parking garage
"DId you see D'Lo's head bounce off the center of the mat?"
"Yeah; that was pretty cool."
-- Michael Cole and Lawler
"I was thinking... I was thinking..."
"That's the problem."
-- Al Snow rambling, plus a comment from Lawler
"This huge machine is gonna FLY!"
-- Lawler as Kane goes to the top rope
(Backstage cameras show the Road Dogg screaming for help, his leg caught in a spring-jaw bear trap)
STEVE AUSTIN (wandering up with a beer in hand): "Damn... that looks like it hurts! Can I help you?"
ROAD DOGG: "Help me, please!"
AUSTIN (pours the beer out over the wound, eliciting screams from Road Dogg): "There you go! Take care, you son of a bitch!"
ROAD DOGG (in a panic): "Don't leave me! BILLY!!"
"You probably think a G-string is part of a fiddle!"
-- Lawler with the obligatory rip on Michael Cole
"Val's never written any books, but he's made some great movies! Did you see "On Golden Blond?"
-- Lawler
HARDCORE HOLLY: "If they (Edge and Christian) were so great, why don't they have the WWF Tag Team belts?"
MICHAEL COLE: "Because Too Cool saved you guys on Monday night on RAW; plain and simple."
HOLLY: "I don't know what you were thinking--"
MICHAEL COLE: "Oh, man! Christian got hung up on the top rope!"
HOLLY: "They didn't save us; we had everything under control."
MICHAEL COLE (condescending): "Yeah."
HOLLY: "We're superheavyweights; we're good!"
LAWLER: "Great! You're great!"
"What you're looking at is the strongest force in the World Wrestling Federation today! But we can always get bigger. I just have a feeling that, tonight, you people are going to see a new member."
-- X-Pac, referring to D-X
"What was the Big Show thinking to pull a stunt like that?"
"What do you mean, what he was thinking? King, look at what the Boss Man has done to the Big Show over the past few weeks! On RAW Monday night, he had the family heirloom, the watch that belonged to the Big Show's father, his DYING father, that Boss Man took out of his dying father's hand, brought it onto national television, smashed it in front of millions around the world, and then hit the Big Show in the head with a hammer!"
"Well... okay okay, that was bad..."
-- Lawler and Michael Cole
"If you think D-X sucks, give me a hell yeah!"
-- Austin
"Lillian Garcia 4:69"
-- sign in the crowd
"We've got a new European Champion!"
"How can you be proud of the way he won? The Posse helped him win the damn title!"
-- Lawler and Michael Cole
"Stevie, I know that you're trying to make a name for yourself by coming out and imitating some of the more untalented, unentertaining WWF performers. But Stevie, you will never..."
"EVER...."
"Evvver, have the talent or ka-RAS-ma of Y2J!"
-- Jericho and the crowd, picking up on a Y2J catch phrase
"I want you to know where my head's at with this D-X thing. That's just something I'm doing on the side; you and I, that's what's tight. We're tight; we're bros! All right? About the other night; I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come down; I told you I wasn't going to come down and interfere... but it was either me or the chick was going to come down and get involved, man!"
-- X-Pac talking to Kane backstage
"Look at that! Does the term "wildebeest" come to mind?"
-- Lawler on a particularly large ho at ringside with Viscera
"Vince, get your ass out here and bow to the masters!"
-- Triple H
"We're back on SmackDown live, King, and the EMTs are trying to pry that bear trap off the leg of the Road Dogg..."
"Get him out of there!"
"I'll tell you, the EMTs got to get him to the hospital!"
"Aw, c'mon now-- Road Dogg's too tough for that! Just get that bear trap off him! Boy, just wait until you see what Road Dogg and D-X will do to Austin now!"
"We've got to believe that Austin set that bear trap on the Road Dogg..."
-- Michael Cole and Lawler; X-Pac is helping the EMTs pry the trap open as Badd Ass tries to comfort Road Dogg and Triple H smacks one of the medical workers around
"What is Scott Taylor doing? I guess you'd call that the Worm; that went out about five years ago..."
-- Michael Cole as Taylor does a few moves in the ring
"They hit the Rock, they hit Kane... they tried to hit Austin, but he's been hit-and-running all night long!"
-- Michael Cole on D-X
"Break it down!"
"Yes!"
-- the opening music of D-Generation X, and an estatic Lawler
"Mankind set for action..."
"Heellloo, ladies!"
"Sounds like he's gonna get it!"
-- Michael Cole, the entrance music of Val Venis, and Lawler
"Do you think these girls have had their shots? Mark kissed the one with the smallest fever blister!"
-- Lawler ripping all over Viscera's large hos
"That was nice... we gotta applaud him on that one; that was good!"
"That was cool, right there!"
-- the Hollies and Lawler, clapping for what looked like a apron-to-ringside powerbomb from Brian Christopher on Christian
"King, when did you join the Too Cool/Hardcore Holly cheerleading corps?"
-- Michael Cole
"Whether or not you like X-Pac rejoining D-X, the bottom line is he's sticking by his friend Kane, which gets us to the next question-- do you think that KANE could be that new recruit of D-X that X-Pac was talking about earlier on?"
"Wait a minute..."
"Can you imagine?"
"WAIT a minute... NOW you're talking, Michael!"
-- Michael Cole and an enthusiastic Lawler
"I know the kind of man you are, Austin! You're a coward, you don't have the guts to come out here and stand face-to-face with the four of us like a man! You've got to attack us from behind, you've got to cheapshot; for all I know, you could be sitting under this very ring..."
"Wait a minute!"
(The eyes of D-X go wide, and Triple H quickly dispatches Gunn and X-Pac for a check under the ring)
-- Triple H and Michael Cole
"And their opponents, at a combined weight of eight hundred and seventy-six pounds, Viscera and Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry!"
"Was that a combined weight of the hos or of Viserca and Mark Henry?"
"I don't know!"
-- the ring announcer, Michael Cole, and Lawler as some portly hos head out
TRIPLE H: "Vince, your services here in the World Wrestling Federation are no longer needed!"
MICHAEL COLE and LAWLER: "WHAT?!"
"X-Pac brings Kane back into the ring; the Big Red Machine... OH NO!"
"WHAT?!"
"That was a low-blow from X-Pac to Kane, and the X-Factor! Dammit!"
"WHAT?!"
"And a cover by Buh Buh Ray; what the hell is going on?!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as X-Pac turns on Kane
"Is that a tan line or WHAT? Oh, my gosh..."
-- Lawler on the rear end of Stevie Richards, exposed due to his Chyna-esque outfit
"Don't worry, guys; I got this one."
"Rock's in the trunk! Where they going; where they going?!"
-- Road Dogg to his fellow D-X members and a panicked comment from Michael Cole
"Ladies and gentlemen, making their way to the ring-- Mr. Ass, the Road Dogg, X-Pac, and the World Wrestling Federation Champion Triple H-- D-Generation X!"
-- ring announcer as D-X hits the ring
"Have you seen Stone Cold Steve Austin? Bald-headed, probably drinking a beer?"
"I haven't seen Stone Cold; I don't think he's here."
"Not here yet? All right."
"By the way... what did you do with the Rock?"
"The Rock? Don't you worry about the Rock; he's on the other side of the tracks, where he belongs!"
-- Road Dogg and a backstage security guard
"What a shock! What a surprise! What a MAJOR UPSET that was!"
-- Al Snow, after he loses thanks to a double-team from Prince Albert and the Big Boss Man
"He's got the whooooole world, in his hands, he's got the whoooooole world, in his hands... hey Blackman! I'll let you know when I find your charisma, buddy!"
-- Mankind wandering (and singing) backstage
"Austin's struck again! The Rattlesnake is now the hunter; D-X is the hunted!"
-- Michael Cole
"On behalf of the fans in Springfield, Massachusetts..." (cheap heat) "On behalf of WWF fans all over the world... WE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA!"
"SUCK IT!"
-- Vince to D-X (using his heel voice), and the crowd
"Come on, Val! You've had worse in your mouth!"
-- Lawler yelling encouragement as Mankind hooks the Mandible Claw
"Let's take another look at this here... the King's kid-- I mean, Brian Christopher-- with a tremendous maneuver!"
"What did you say, Michael Cole? You'd better watch your mouth! I've told you before, there's only one set of the King's DNA!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler
"I've got to ask you guys... are you out of your minds?"
"...Have you been watching the show?"
-- Kevin Kelly and Triple H during a backstage D-X interview
"The irony of this all, King, is that the ring may actually be the safest place for D-X here tonight!"
-- Michael Cole as the tattered D-X members make their way out
"I think Jericho is fixing to knock the stuffing out of the chest of Chyna! Urm... Stevie Richards."
-- Lawler
"Mankind, as you stand in the center of that ring, the Big Valbowski knows exactly what you are thinking."
"Thinking? Mankind?"
-- Val Venis and Lawler
"C'mon, these guys are hurt! What's the matter, Austin; you scared?"
-- Lawler taunting Stone Cold as Triple H calls him out
"Wait a minute! Oh my God; Austin has netted D-X!"
-- Michael Cole as a huge net drops from above the ring and ensnares the four members of D-X; the crowd goes nuts
"D-X, look out! Kane's here!"
-- Lawler in a panic as Kane runs in to help Austin take on D-X
"She's getting her memory back and remembers her feelings for Test... I just hope she realizes what a loser he is!"
-- Lawler, referring to Stephanie McMahon and Test
"What's that screaming?"
"I don't know--"
"Oh my God!"
"What's going on NOW? That's Badd Ass Billy Gunn!"
"Somebody get me DOWN!"
"He's caught in some kind of a snare!"
"How's it hanging, Billy?"
"You son of a bitch!"
-- Lawler, Michael Cole, Billy Gunn, and Austin as Austin catches Mr. Ass in a hunting trap backstage
"My sources have not been able to find-- where's the Rock?"
-- Lawler late in the show
"X-Pac, if I were you..."
"X-Pac better hightail it out of there quick! X-Pac's face-to-face with the Big Red Machine!"
-- Lawler and Michael Cole as a furious Kane backs X-Pac into a corner; the crowd is going nuts
TRIPLE H: "In case the world has forgotten, and I know you haven't, let me remind you just who in the hell we are! We are D-Generation X! We do what we want, when we want to do it! We make the rules, and we damn sure break them. The WWF, as of this moment, is on notice, because D-X is back. We will leave no stone unturned..."
LAWLER: "No cold stone!"
TRIPLE H: "We will leave no rock... unpulverized."
LAWLER: "No People's Rock!"
"I guess my sources should've told the Rock what to expect when he got here. D-X had another one of those brilliant plans of theirs, and it worked to perfection! Right now, the only thing the Rock is smelling is the inside of the trunk of his Lincoln Continental!"
-- Lawler
"Why don't the two of you meet me in the outside parking lot for a Hardcore match for that belt? You bring your girlfriend from Cellblock H, and I'll kick both your asses!"
-- Al Snow to the Big Boss Man and Prince Albert
"If Too Cool would stop dancing around they might win this matchup."
-- a dry Michael Cole comment
"D-X is searching for Stone Cold Steve Austin; they're looking for him up on the roof!"
"King, what the hell would Stone Cold be doing on the roof of this arena?"
"A rattlesnake can be anywhere, Michael. But D-X, if you want to find Stone Cold, you might want to check out the beer stand!"
-- Lawler and Michael Cole
"I don't think Chyna was too flattered with Stevie Richards' imitation there!"
-- Michael Cole as Chyna lays out Stevie Richards with one punch
"Oh, no... not the Rock, too!"
"The Rock is here; the People's Champ is here!"
"SUMBITCH!"
-- Lawler, Michael Cole, and a comment from Rock as the Rock races to ringside to join Austin and Kane in getting a little revenge on D-Generation X
"King, you talk about plots... his lines are "uggh," "ooh..."
"Who, Val?"
"Yeah, Val!"
"Are you kidding? Did you not see "Genital Hospital?"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler discussing the movie career of Val Venis
"I knew there was no place in D-X for a softie like Kane! He's a big red retard; that's all Kane is!"
-- Lawler as D-X teams up against Kane
"Look! That's the Big Show!"
"He just drove a forklift into the side of the Boss Man's car! I think Al Snow is setting the Boss Man up!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Big Show attacks in the parking lot
"Too Cool! Y'know, I knew I recognized those guys when they got here... one of them was Scott Taylor; I didn't quite recognize the other one!"
-- Lawler, referring to his kid Brian Christopher
"Excuse me, guys?"
"Who the hell are you?"
"Hey, hold on! That's grandpappy!"
"You guys are looking for Stone Cold Steve Austin? I just wanted to let you know, he arrived."
-- the security guard, Triple H, and Road Dogg as D-X makes their plans for Austin
"Why don't you lay down and roll down here; you'll make better time! Look at those jellybellies!"
-- Lawler, referring to good-sized hos accompanying Viscera
"Too Cool picks up the victory over Edge and Christian thanks to that scale there... Crash hitting Edge in the face--"
"Are you hallucinating again? That herbal tea getting to you?"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler
(Backstage, D-X is licking their wounds)
TRIPLE H: "Billy, are you okay?"
BILLY GUNN (with an ice pack on his knee): "Yeah, I'm fine."
TRIPLE H: "Sure? Can you walk?"
GUNN: "Yeah, I'm fine; I'm fine."
ROAD DOGG (his leg bandaged): "At least you didn't step in a bear trap."
X-PAC: "Hey, look man. We've just got to keep this thing tight and stick together!"
TRIPLE H: "That's exactly what we're going to do. We're going to stick together, and I'm telling you guys, we are going to kick Austin's ass tonight."
(X-Pac's phone rings; he steps away from the group to answer it as the others discuss strength in numbers)
X-PAC: "Hello?"
STEVE AUSTIN (on the phone): "Hey, X-Pack! It's Austin; shut the hell up."
(X-Pac waves frantically at the others)
TRIPLE H (slightly annoyed): "What?"
AUSTIN: "You listen to the radio, don't you?"
X-PAC: "The radio?"
AUSTIN: "The radio; you know Casey Kasem, right?"
X-PAC: "Yeah... Casey Kasem?"
AUSTIN: "Well, I've got a message to you from him. Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars."
X-PAC: "Keep... what?"
AUSTIN: "Keep reaching for the stars; you know what I mean."
X-PAC (slowly looking above him): "Keep reaching for the stars..."
(a huge section of ceiling directly above X-Pac collapses atop him)
LAWLER (at ringside): "What is this?"
MICHAEL COLE: "Stone Cold Steve Austin has struck again!"
(D-X goes into a huge tirade of checking on X-Pac, calling Austin a "son of a bitch," and questioning his manhood)
"Kane didn't deserve this! All Kane wanted to be was a friend, King! Kane just wanted a friend!"
-- Michael Cole as D-X attacks Kane
"Oh my God, no! Oh no!"
"He's crushed them!"
"Boss Man and Prince Albert are in that car!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Big Show crushes the roof of the car with a dumpster
"Half the ceiling is still in the hair of X-Pac!"
-- Lawler; X-Pac is covered in drywall dust
"Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!"
-- the crowd to Triple H, as the Game's fellow D-X members look on
"Better to live to fight another day!"
-- Lawler defending the British Bulldog slipping away from a match Monday
"Have you read that book, Michael?"
"Yeah, I have! Well, I'm in the middle of it. It's a great read!"
"I'm waiting for the Cliff Notes."
-- Lawler and Michael Cole, discussing Mankind's book
"Big Show, what are you going to do about the Boss Man?"
"Um... I'm going to leave, J.R. I think that's the best thing I can do, is leave. I'm going to leave because I know, when I see him, I'm probably going to do something I'm going to regret for the rest of my life."
-- J.R. and the Big Show
"My sources tell me that D-X is searching for Stone Cold in the ladies restroom!"
-- Lawler
"D-X has been decimated by Stone Cold here tonight!"
"They're the walking wounded..."
-- Michael Cole and Lawler
"King, the ultimate game of chess is on-- D-X versus Vince McMahon!"
-- Michael Cole
"The Halloween pumpkin on my front porch has more teeth than Mankind!"
-- Lawler
"Look at this, Michael; he's still drinking! He's been drinking all night; this is going to be an ugly situation!"
-- Lawler as Austin responds to the D-X challenge
"He's got a healthy appetite, but this is getting ridiculous! Those were two of the skankiest hos I've ever seen!"
-- Lawler as Mark Henry toys around backstage with some fat hos
"Badd Ass Billy Gunn... they ought to call you DUMB Ass Billy Gunn!"
-- Austin taunting BABG about getting caught in the rope snare
"Watch your ears, Michael!"
-- Lawler as Kane's entrance fires up
"Hell, X-Pack, the only thing I like about you is your name because it sounds almost like a six-pack..."
-- Austin, with a huge grin
"How would you like a sweater vest for Christmas, Michael?"
-- Lawler, as the Mean Street Posse hovers nearby
"The Hardy Boyz don't belong in a wrestling ring; they belong in a circus the way they fly around!"
-- Hardcore Holly
"Wait a minute, wait a minute-- here comes Mission Impossible!"
"What?"
"Her trying to get into the ring!"
-- Lawler and Michael Cole on the fat hos
"I guess my job of carrying your big ass is over! Kane, your brother was right about you! You're weak, and you're not D-X material. There ain't gonna be a new member of D-Generation X tonight, because you're a piece of crap!"
-- X-Pac screaming at a fallen Kane
"When I walked into this arena today, one of my loyal Jericho-holics informed me that Stevie Richards had challenged me to a match. Stevie... Richards."
-- Jericho, snickering at his opponent
"Last Monday night, I got a little taste of Stone Cold Steve Austin, and I liked it!"
-- Billy Gunn
"Do you think maybe that Rattlesnake has heard what's happened to the Rock and isn't even going to show up?"
"Eh, not a chance in hell; you know the Rattlesnake is going to show up; he's never backed down from a fight."
"You don't have to use profanity, potty-mouth."
-- Lawler and Michael Cole
"The Big Show has lost it here, folks..."
-- Michael Cole as the Big Show traps the Big Boss Man and Prince Albert in a car, then starts jumping up and down on the roof
"X-Pac just stabbed Kane in the back and twisted the knife!... King, Kane did not deserve this. After all that Kane has done for X-Pac, Kane has been stabbed in the back by the person he thought was his best friend."
-- Michael Cole as X-Pac leaves Kane lying in the ring
"The Rattlesnake can't do this, King; it's four on one!"
"Yeah he can! C'mon!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Austin heads to the ring to confront the waiting D-X
"Kane is not in a good mood; you can tell, as he flattened D-Von with a clothesline that time."
-- Michael Cole
"Stone Cold Steve Austin has now taken out two of the four members of D-Generation X. Road Dogg with a bear trap--"
"Quit reminding me."
"He hung up BA Billy Gunn; who's going to be next? Triple H? X-Pac?"
"What do YOU think?"
"Well, it's going to be one of them, I'm sure!"
"That's another serious situation... something's gotta be done about Austin!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler; Lawler going to bat for the decimated D-X
[ Dogg Timeline || Dogg Articles || Dogg Gallery || Dogg Bio || Dogg Links ]