Quotes: Sunday Night HeAT, November 14, 1999
Live from Detriot, Michigan (sold out)
Cole and Kelly host. Review of SmackDown! from last week. Video packages highlighting feuds between Kane and X-Pac, Big Show and Big Boss Man, Chyna and Jericho, and Triple H, Stone Cold, and the Rock. Kurt Angle vignette. Interviews with Kane, Tori, Big Show, Jacqueline, Luna, Debra, Moolah and Mae Young, Terri, Ivory, Big Boss Man, Chris Jericho (funny), Vince McMahon, Mankind and Al Snow (hilarious). Arrival footage of Jericho, Austin, the Rock, Vince and family. Big Show attacks his partners. Triple H comes to the ring, followed by Rock and Austin, and a brawl breaks out.
"Michael Cole, Kevin Kelly backstage here at the Joe Louis Arena for Sunday Night HeAT; I can guarantee you, it's going to be a wild ride over the next hour!"
-- Michael Cole
"When you look back at WWF history, certainly the World Wrestling Federation championship has a history of volatility at Survivor Series. Look back at the 1991 Survivor Series; the Undertaker walks away with the title for the first time. And, in fact, the past two years at Survivor Series, the title has changed hands. Last year, the Rock became the WWF champion with Vince McMahon playing a major role in that."
-- Kevin Kelly with a history lesson
MICHAEL COLE: "Kane, Tori... tonight's match against X-Pac isn't just about business. It's personal, isn't it?"
TORI (to Kane): "Is it okay if I answer this?"
(Kane nods slowly)
TORI: "First rule in business, Michael-- take nothing personally. You know, why would Kane take it personally that X-Pac just stabbed him in the back? And, for all that, why would Kane take it personally when he was the ONLY ONE standing behind X-Pac in his survival in the land of the giants? We don't take that personally; no, not at all. And you know, X-Pac, that remark you made about Kane and the fire? Word has it on the street YOU'RE the one with the little hose."
"BREAK THEM WALLS DOWN! Brand-new Intercontinental champion right here; how you doing, jerky? Who wants to meet the champion?" (leans into a locker room) "Anyone in here want to meet the new champ? Huh? No?"
-- Chris Jericho strutting around backstage
"Michael, no disrespect, but tonight I'm going to do this alone."
-- Big Show to Michael Cole backstage, on his upcoming match
"This match is an opportunity to make a name for myself. I went to the toy store, and all I saw were Jacqueline dolls. Rows and rows of Jacqueline dolls. Sold out of Rock, sold out of Austin... but they got plenty of Jacqueline dolls! Well tonight, that's all gonna change."
-- Jacqueline backstage
"I feel pretty... oh so pretty... oh so... no, I don't feel so pretty... in fact, I feel kinda sick! If any of those Drano-drinking, lightbulb-sucking, ring-stealing skanks wanna jump into MY stuff tonight, I'm gonna show them just how sick I can play..."
-- Luna backstage
"In a match like this, no one really cares who wins or loses! It's all about the puppies. And we definitely know I have the advantage in that department."
-- Debra backstage
"Y'know, Mae, the good thing we got going for us tonight in this match is our experience."
"Moolah, my God, you got more experience than all of these girls put together! On top of that, I think that you have more experience than any other wrestler in this professional field!"
"Mae, would you shut up? Don't get me upset!"
-- Moolah and Mae Young getting in a shoving match backstage
"I'm a lover, not a fighter. Nobody expects me to do anything in this match... but I have to tell ya... you don't spend all those late nights with the Hardys without learning a thing or two about coming out on top."
-- Terri backstage
"Hey guys, check it out! This is my imitation of Moolah tonight on Survivor Series-- sudden death match." (drops to the ground and enters death throes)
-- Ivory backstage
"Well, very catty comments indeed; the fur's going to be flying tonight..."
-- Michael Cole on the comments from the ladies
"The Great One has arrived, ready to become the next WWF champion here at Survivor Series!"
-- Kevin Kelly as the Rock shows up
(Big Boss Man has a somewhat nervous Michael Cole backstage)
BIG BOSS MAN: "What's this I hear about Big Show wanting to forfeit the match tonight?"
MICHAEL COLE: "Well, Boss Man, I just spoke with Big Show; he doesn't want to forfeit; he wants to go it alone!"
BIG BOSS MAN: "Well good. I wasn't going to let that happen anyway. I got way too much respect for Big Freak Show's dear old dad than to let that happen. I even went out and bought a cheap black armband for a little tribute."
MICHAEL COLE: "Y'know, Boss Man... with all due respect, your whole outfit's black. You really can't even see the armband."
(pause)
BIG BOSS MAN: "Shut up, fathead! This match means way too much to me; that's why I'm gonna dedicate it in the memory of Big Show's dear old dad. Get it? Dedicate? Dead-i-cate? Get it? 'Cause he's dead. GET IT?"
MICHAEL COLE: "I get it."
BIG BOSS MAN (grabbing Michael Cole by his shirt): "Then why ain't you laughing?"
"Quiet, quiet. Can you hear that sound? Can you hear the sound of the glass breaking? That was the sound that the bottle made when I smashed it over that hideous, grotesque freak of nature Chyna's head! It was like monestary bells chiming! And did you see when I took the hair dryer and bumped it over her head; did you see the blood cascading down her face? She was bleeding as only a woman can bleed, and I know you know what I mean when I say that, right Vivian?"
"Look Chris, I think--"
"Right?"
"--You're underestimating Chyna."
"No. No, no no. I think Chyna is underestimating Y2J. She actually thinks she can beat me. But I'm so sure that she won't that if I lose tonight, I will fly to Switzerland and get a sex change operation and become Christina Jericho, and we know that will never, EVER happen. But what IS going to happen is the babies are going to be singing, the birds are going to be chirping, and the Jerichoholics across the world are going to be standing on their feet chanting, "Go Jericho go! Go Jericho go! Go Jericho go!" Because tonight, at Survivor Series, I'm going to beat Chyna and put the Intercontinental belt around this sexy, and gorgeous waist! And I know you know what I'm talking about, because I've seen you looking. Hands off!"
-- Chris Jericho and Lillian Garcia backstage
"The McMahons have arrived; everyone's here... except for D-X!"
-- Michael Cole with a loaded line if I ever heard one
"I've got that feeling... you know what I'm saying? I've got that feeling... Shane, you know the one! I've got that feeling that the WWF championship is going to change hands right here in Detriot tonight!"
-- Vince McMahon
"Well, it looks as though the Big Show is stomping away on his own tag team partners!"
-- Kevin Kelly as Big Show makes his point about taking on the Boss Man's team alone
(Lillian Garcia is backstage with Al Snow and Mankind; Head is looking on over Lillian's shoulder)
LILLIAN GARCIA: "Well, Al Snow and Mankind, how do you feel about your upcoming--"
AL SNOW: "Whoa whoa whoa. I know exactly what you're going to ask; you're going to ask us how we feel about our match with the Outlaws."
MANKIND: "How did you KNOW that, Al?"
AL SNOW (laughing): "I knew it because I can read her... like a book!" (whips out a copy of Mankind's autobiography, albeit upside-down)
MANKIND: "Wow, where'd that come from!"
AL SNOW: "And if-- what?" (Lillian gently turns the book right-side up) "Oh. And if you're into reading books, you're into reading Mankind: Have A Nice Day, number two on all the best-seller lists!"
MANKIND: "And speaking of number two, I happen to have in my possession a very rare and controversial Al Snow doll!" (holds it up for the camera) "Ree! Ree! Ree!" (imitates the Psycho music as he forces the camera into a closeup on the package)
AL SNOW: "Whoa, that's an ACTION FIGURE, and I'm sure if any of your sons out there buy this action figure, their future wives will be seeing a lot of it if you know what I mean." (punches the air a few times)
MANKIND (laughing): "I DO know what you mean."
AL SNOW: "And I just want to point out, this book was very difficult to come by. It was sold out everywhere I went!"
MANKIND: "Not as difficult as this action figure! It's been pulled off shelves around the country!"
AL SNOW: "You know what? Just looking at you holding that in your hands is making me feel like I want to sever somebody's head."
(Lillian starts looking nervous)
MANKIND: "Me too! Makes me feel like I want to abuse somebody!"
AL SNOW: "Me too!"
MANKIND (grins): "Where's Blue Meanie?"
AL SNOW: "Let's go find him!"
(Al grabs Head; he and Mankind take off)
"You guys just lay back; let me do what I've got to do."
-- Triple H backstage to Road Dogg and X-Pac as he prepares to hit the ring (notice the absense of Billy Gunn, who had transportation problems and wasn't even at the arena at this point)
"We welcome you, ladies and gentlemen, back to the sold-out Joe Louis Arena here in Detriot. I'm Jim Ross alongside Jerry "the King" Lawler; we are at ringside and King, the World Wrestling Federation champion, at least for the time being, Triple H, seems to be on his way here."
"Now don't go jumping to conclusions, J.R.! I hate that about you now!"
-- J.R. and Lawler as Triple H takes his sweet time heading to the ring
"This is the last Survivor Series of this century; the last Survivor Series of this millenium! I promise you, it'll be one for the ages."
-- Lawler
"I just don't like Triple H's chances, quite frankly."
"I like his attitude, though."
-- J.R. and Lawler
"You can kiss my ass!"
-- Triple H to the crowd
"If our paths ever cross again, I will make the beating you took with Last Action Hero seem like child's play."
-- Triple H to Arnold Schwarzenegger
"Vince, I hear you talking in the back. You tell me, "I've got a feeling! I've got a feeling right here in Detriot!" Vince, I've got your feeling right here!" (grabs his crotch) "Because NOTHING will happen in Detroit! There will be no title change in Detriot! Because Vince, that feeling you have is D-X roto-rootering your backside, because it is US screwing YOU! And as far as screwjobs go, if you think for one minute that I am some dumbass Calgary Canadian that thinks he is some great hero to the world, if you think I am that stupid as to roll in this ring and let somebody put the sharpshooter on me so you can ring the bell, you've got another thing coming, jack! I am not as dumb as he was! I could never be that stupid! So you had better be that much smarter."
-- Triple H, with a reference to Bret Hart
"Don't worry, Rock; you can come out! It's okay, I promise. Scout's honor."
-- Triple H the (snicker) scout encouraging the Rock to come to the ring
"Mr. McMahon has the feeling; he has a very strong feeling..."
"Could just be gas."
-- J.R. and Lawler
"Finally, the Rock has come back to Detriot!"
"How did they know he was going to say that?"
-- the Rock and Lawler, as Triple H looks on impatiently
"Simply put, the Rock says tonight, he is gonna do what he does best, and that is layeth the smacketh down on your candy ass!"
-- the Rock in catch phrase heaven
"Open your mouth one more time and tell the Rock exactly why you called the Great One out here."
"Now Rock--"
"It doesn't MATTER why you called the Rock out here!"
"It DOES matter, jackass!"
-- the Rock and Triple H
"What's gonna HAPPEN here, J.R.?"
-- Lawler, slightly panicked, as Austin comes to the ring
[ Dogg Timeline || Dogg Articles || Dogg Gallery || Dogg Bio || Dogg Links ]