Quotes: SmackDown!
December 16, 1999
Taped 12/14/99 from Florida State University campus, Tallahassee, FL
Review of recent Triple H/McMahon storylines. Triple H and Stephanie host a meeting of the entire roster backstage, asserting their booking powers. Big Boss Man cuts a promo and Y2J interrupts, which leads to... WWF Intercontinental Championship: Chris Jericho (C) vs. Prince Albert; Chyna, Miss Kitty interfere. Kurt Angle vs. Test; Stephanie on commentary and interferes, leading to a D-X ambush of Test. Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy, with Terri. Tori vs. Stephanie McMahon; X-Pac, Triple H, Kane, MSP all involved. Falls-Count-Anywhere: Mankind vs. Al Snow (w/ Head); backstage interference. Edge vs. Christian; Tazz promo. The Acolytes vs. the Mean Street Posse. Stephanie slaps J.R. backstage. Too Cool/Rikishi Phatu vs. the Hollies/Viscera; Too Cool and Rikishi dance afterwards. Terri commercial. WWF Tag Team Championship, no disqualification: the New Age Outlaws (C) vs. Patterson/Brisco. WWF Championship, lumberjack match: the Big Show (C) vs. the Rock; tons of interference.
(Triple H and Stephanie are backstage, standing in front of a room where almost the entire WWF roster has been assembled. The wrestlers are all talking amongst themselves)
STEPHANIE: "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?"
(Everyone ignores her)
STEPHANIE: "Everyone, may I have your attention please?"
(Everyone continues to ignore her. In the front row, the rest of D-X stands and turns to address their fellow wrestlers)
X-PAC, BILLY GUNN, and ROAD DOGG: "Hey, shut up!"
(The room lapses into stunned silence, followed by a few murmurs)
STEPHANIE: "Thanks, guys!"
(Gunn and X-Pac sit back down)
ROAD DOGG (addressing somebody in the back of the room): "...reason to be excited; shut up!"
(Road Dogg sits down and now everyone's attention is on Triple H and Steph)
TRIPLE H: "All right, keep it down. We're here to make an announcement about the way business is gonna be handled here from now on in the World Wrestling Federation."
(Triple H steps back and motions Steph to the front of the stage)
STEPHANIE: "First thing I'd like to say is that Vince and Shane, my brother and father, are NOT here tonight."
(Cameras pan over the audience of wrestlers, who mutter amongst themselves. Too Cool, Luna, Moolah and Mae, the Dudleys, MSP, and Val Venis [who's sitting next to Lilian Garcia-- wink wink nudge nudge] are some of the roster identifiable in this shot)
TRIPLE H: "Hey! Hey, keep it down! All right, I know everybody's got a little bit of concern over the way things went Monday night, but Monday night, we had to assert ourselves. From now on, things are gonna be handled a little bit differently. They're gonna be handled a little bit more fair. There are those of you out here, I'm sure, that feel like you've been held down in the past. Well, starting tonight, you're going to be given your chance to shine. And there are a few of you out there-- I'm sure you know who you are-- who've had everything handed to you on a silver platter; well tonight, your platter gets taken away. From now on, top to bottom, everybody here is gonna be treated fairly."
[Transcriber's note: I think this whole thing is a spoof on the production meetings Russo and Ferrara had with the WCW roster when they jumped federations earlier this year. Triple H's speech sure sounds a lot like what Russo reportedly said at that meeting.]
STEPHANIE: "For example... Mick."
(crowd pops as the camera closes in on Mankind, who's sitting in the second row between Scotty 2 Hotty and Grandmaster Sexay)
STEPHANIE: "I know you've been having a lot of problems with Al Snow lately."
(Mankind nods, looking much put upon)
STEPHANIE: "You hate Al; you used to be best friends!"
(Camera draws out a bit to focus on Al Snow, who's sitting next to Road Dogg in the first row)
STEPHANIE: "Well, now you get to take your hatred out on him because tonight, you'll face Al one-on-one."
ALL THE OTHER WRESTLERS: "Oooooo..."
TRIPLE H: "And Rock!" (He searches for a moment before spotting Rock; cameras focus on the Great One moments later which causes a big crowd pop) "I know better than anybody what you want more out of life than anything else is to get the World Wrestling Federation title. Well Rock, tonight you get your chance--"
CROWD: "Rock-y! Rock-y! Rock-y!"
TRIPLE H: "--because you and the Big Show are gonna go one-on-one for the World Wrestling Federation title."
ALL THE OTHER WRESTLERS: "OOOOOOOOOoooo...." (You can also hear D-X clapping and cheering for the Rock)
(Camera pans back; Big Show, sitting in the front row with sunglasses and bandana a la the Undertaker, turns to eye the Rock, who is several rows behind him. Flashing the People's eyebrow, the Rock stands and leaves the room abruptly)
TRIPLE H: "Ladies and gentlemen..." (pauses as the Rock leaves) "Ladies and gentlemen, tonight marks the dawning of a new era in the World Wrestling Federation."
STEPHANIE (taking Triple H's hand and lifting it high): "The McMahon/Helmsley era!"
(D-X begins clapping vociferously in the front row. Big Show stands up and leaves, title in hand. The rest of the roster begins talking nervously amongst themselves. Road Dogg leaps up to shake hands with Steph and Triple H, followed by the rest of D-X.)
"Well as the dawning of a new era begins, we welcome you to WWF SmackDown, on UPN! Tonight, we're at the campus of Florida State University, home of the Seminoles, and King, who knows where this caravan, captained by Mr. and Mrs. Helmsley, is gonna take us tonight?!"
"Well, you heard it, Michael! The McMahon/Helmsley era has begun! Ha ha, this is gonna be great!"
-- Michael Cole and Jerry "the King" Lawler, kicking us off
"Hey, Vince! We Needs Jobs!"
-- big sign in the crowd
"I Love You Adam Copeland!"
-- sign in the crowd (apparently an Edge fan)
"Can I Hit the Rock's Bottom?"
-- sign in the crowd
"Y2J- The Ayatollah Of My Heart and Soul-Ah"
-- sign in the crowd (apparently a Jericho fan)
(At ringside, Lawler and Michael Cole are discussing the validity of Triple H's promises in the backstage meeting)
LAWLER (to Michael Cole): "You don't doubt Triple H-- you don't think he's LYING or something like that, do you?"
MICHAEL COLE: "No, I never said that!"
LAWLER: "Okay, okay."
MICHAEL COLE: "But after what happened Monday night, I mean... well, I guess there is sort of a doubt in my mind after what we saw on Monday night! It seemed like Triple H and Stephanie were carrying out some personal vendettas."
LAWLER: "Let me write this down." (drops his voice as though he's scribbling a note to himself and muttering the words aloud as he goes) "You doubt Triple H..."
MICHAEL COLE: "No."
LAWLER (still scribbling and muttering): "Michael Cole..."
MICHAEL COLE: "I said there COULD be some doubts!"
"I want you people to shut up!" (catches MAJOR heat) "If you think what I did to Al Snow was bad... if you think what I did to Big Show's fake daddy was cruel..."
"Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!"
"...wait 'til the Big Boss Man takes care of the rest of the morons in the World Wrestling Federation!"
-- Big Boss Man, plus a crowd chant
"Boss Man... I'm sure that your mother once told you if you can't say anything nice about anybody, don't say anything at all. Well tonight, Y2J is telling you... if you can't say something entertaining, then SHUT THE HELL UP!"
-- Chris Jericho (to a big pop)
"While you're out here boring all of the Jerichoholics, I'm standing in the back begging to show off my new and improved Inter-Chris-inental championship belt! And since you're already in the ring with your goofy-looking buddy Prince Allen, maybe I should just enter the ring and destroy you BOTH... ayatollah-style!"
-- Jericho
"Miss Kitty Fan Club"
-- sign in the crowd
"What about how we saw the Cat Monday night?"
"Yeah, the Cat... the former Miss Kitty."
"In pudding!"
"Yeah, in pudding."
"I tawt I taw a puddin' cat!"
-- Lawler and Michael Cole as Miss Kitty Cat, accompanying Chyna, comes to ringside during the IC title match
"I think I heard Stephanie and Triple H say neither of them booked this match. How'd it happen?"
-- Lawler after a backstage Triple H/Steph vignette during the IC title match [duh, King... Y2J booked it]
"Boss Man sucks! Boss Man sucks! Boss Man sucks!"
-- chant from the crowd
"And Chyna from behind! Chyna just delivered a low blow to Prince Albert! King, what did she do that for?!"
-- Michael Cole as Chyna interferes
"What's up with Chyna? She helped Jericho remain Intercontinental champion!"
-- Lawler, putting voice to the angle that nobody understands, as Jericho looks after Chyna in confusion
"Why did Chyna do that?"
"I don't know... I can NEVER figure out what Chyna's gonna do. Or any woman, for that matter."
"The hell is THAT supposed to mean?"
-- Stephanie and Triple H backstage
"I'm going to ringside."
"For what?"
"I want to check somebody out."
"Wait a minute. Check out who?"
"Kurt Angle."
"The ostrich jerky salesman?"
"He's cute!"
"C'mon, who's he wrestling?"
"Test."
"Test? Hey-- wait a second!"
-- Stephanie and Triple H backstage
(Back from commercial and the new first couple of the WWF is STILL arguing)
TRIPLE H: "You're not going anywhere, and that's final!"
STEPHANIE (with a becoming sour expression): "I'm going. You can't tell me what to do."
(Stephanie tries to push past Triple H, but he catches her gently)
TRIPLE H: "I CAN tell you what to do, and you're not going anywhere. Look, what we did to Test? I don't trust him for a second. I don't know what he's capable of doing."
STEPHANIE (with another great evil expression): "Look, I know Test, okay?"
TRIPLE H: "Yeah, you know him too well. What you're gonna do is you're gonna sit right here, you're gonna drink some champagne, and we're gonna have a good time."
STEPHANIE: "You know what? I'm going. Drink by yourself."
"Triple H may wear the pants in that family, but I think Stephanie tells him what pair to wear!"
-- Lawler
"Slut! Slut! Slut!"
-- a chant from some chicks in the front row, directed at Stephanie as she comes down to offer color commentary
"Did you just blow somebody a kiss?"
"I blew Test a kiss. He seems to be in need of one."
"He's still smitten with you, isn't he?"
-- Lawler and Stephanie
"Well, I just want to say this, Stephanie... McMahon... Helmsley. That I am so excited about this new situation! The McMahon/Helmsley era! Because, I mean, let's face it-- you guys are young, you're vibrant, innovative; you've got some new ideas that are gonna be happening around here-- I think it's gonna be great for the WWF!"
-- Lawler kissing Stephanie's butt
"Get your cute self out of that hold!"
-- Stephanie yelling advice to Kurt Angle
"Stephanie McMahon just had Test disqualified!"
"She overruled the ref!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Stephanie DQs Test for using a closed fist on Kurt Angle
"He WAS breaking the rules, Michael."
"Yeah, but that's something we see almost every night, almost every match!"
-- Lawler and Michael Cole on Test, telling it like it is
"Look at Kurt Angle hopping around for joy!"
-- Michael Cole as Angle does his humorous victory dance
"Hold it there, Test! Don't get testy!"
-- Lawler as a furious-looking Test starts stalking after Stephanie
"That was the WWF Slam of the Week, presented by the WWF Slam Cam!"
-- commercial; check out the kid at the computer staring at Debra's puppies
"Pat, Gerry, what the hell are you guys doing?"
-- Stephanie storming up to the stooges, who are helping the EMTs tend to an injured Test; approximately half a second after she says this, Test goes nuts and tries to leap off the stretcher to kill her
"Check this out now... we've got Hardy Boy versus Hardy Boy!"
"And Terri Runnels does not look too pleased."
-- Lawler and Michael Cole
"They've grown up with each other; they've trained with each other for probably fifteen or twenty years..."
"Duh! They're brothers!"
"They know each other extremely well; they know each other's moves! What?"
"I just wish you were a little smarter so you'd know how stupid you sound! "They know each other extremely well?" They're brothers!"
-- Michael Cole and a snickering Lawler
"King, could it be that perhaps Triple H is helping out his D-X brethren by booking a match like this? The Hardy Boyz are a team that threaten to take the tag titles from the New Age Outlaws down the road; perhaps they're trying to destroy this team, much like the cage match that was set up Monday night between the Hardys and Edge and Christian."
"Boy, you think everything and everybody has a ulterior motive, Michael Cole!"
"I'm just asking QUESTIONS, King, that's all..."
-- Michael Cole and Lawler
"Terri don't want to see anything happen to her meal ticket!"
-- Lawler as Terri tries to stop the fight
"You've got to admit that Triple H and Stephanie are doing a great job of putting these matches together! What about the Rock going against the Big Show? Rock against the Big Show for the WWF title later on tonight; everybody wants to see that! Everybody wants to see the Rock against the Big Show; we got that tonight--"
"Al Snow and Mankind..."
"That's what I said!"
"No you didn't; you said Rock and Big Show twice. Patterson and Brisco against the New Age Outlaws, tag team titles on the line; they have to compete or they're fired!"
"Keep it up, Cole, and it'll be you and me here tonight too."
-- Lawler and Michael Cole
"Who the hell do you think you are? Monday night was the epitome of humiliation! Me in a pudding match. A PUDDING match!"
-- Tori (who apparently hasn't looked in the mirror lately-- her outfit is the epitome of humiliation)
"Stephanie McMahon is going to enter a wrestling ring to compete! Stephanie McMahon Helmsley."
"In a leather skirt."
"Oh, baby! This is gonna be good!"
-- Lawler and Michael Cole as Stephanie comes to the ring for a match with Tori
"That looks like it hurts..."
-- Stephanie; she, Tori, and Triple H watch from the ring as the Posse attacks Kane backstage
"The Big Red Retard's fallen down and he can't get up!"
-- Triple H
(Shocked at what she sees on the OvalTron, Tori leaves the ring and starts backstage to help Kane)
STEPHANIE: "Oh hey, Tori, you might want to stop for a second."
(Tori stops at the bottom of the ramp and turns to face Stephanie)
STEPHANIE: "Things have changed a little bit, and I'd like to introduce your real opponent."
MICHAEL COLE: "What?"
(Stephanie and Triple H both make a grand gesture at the stage as X-Pac's music fires up. Tori keeps looking back and forth between the Helmsleys and the stage, horrified)
MICHAEL COLE: "Oh no! They can't-- they can't be serious! They can't be serious!"
LAWLER: "Tori's gonna have to face... X-Pac?!"
(Looking like a trapped rat, Tori twists around desperately, then finally faces the stage-- cool camera work as X-Pac emerges, crotch-chopping a little and obviously enjoying himself)
LAWLER: "What about this? I mean, X-Pac formerly was partnered with Kane, and how many times has X-Pac delivered that vicious spin-kick to the face of Tori?"
(X-Pac approaches menacingly; Tori dives into the ring)
MICHAEL COLE: "And what about Armageddon on Sunday; the X-factor to Tori? Too many times to remember!"
(X-Pac goes from the floor to the apron in one jump, as Tori desperately seeks escape)
MICHAEL COLE: "And X-Pac is gonna go one-on-one with Tori tonight!"
"Hunter Hearst Homo"
-- sign in the crowd
"Oh, poor Posse!"
-- Lawler as Triple H and Stephanie announce a Posse/Acolyte match tonight
"They can fight all over Florida if they want to!"
-- Lawler as Al Snow comes to the ring for his match against Al Snow
"More Titty Kitty"
-- sign in the crowd
"That's my chair!"
-- Lawler in indignation as the match spills onto the announce table
"Mr. Socko and tongs, hammering away on Al Snow!"
"It's the deadly tong hold!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Mankind gets the advantage
"You know, the only good thing about this-- there probably won't be any more little Als running around!"
-- Lawler after Al Snow takes a crotchshot
"Mankind in pursuit of Al Snow, and where the hell are they going now?"
-- Michael Cole as the fight goes backstage
"No running!"
-- somebody-- I think the ref-- to Al and Mick as they fight backstage into the hallways
"What a great setup by Al Sn--"
"Wait a minute! That's Al Snow! Al Snow's been tossed out of the locker room!"
-- Lawler and Michael Cole as Al Snow's plan to lure Mankind into the D-X locker room and have D-X beat up Mankind apparently backfires
"It's the Rock!... the Rock's dressing room!"
-- Michael Cole as Lawler and Mankind both crack up; the Rock comes stalking out of the locker room, chair in hand, and rips off the D-X doorplate to reveal that the area is actually HIS dressing room
"THAT is freaky."
-- Michael Cole after a Tazz promo interrupts Edge's entrance, and Edge looks on in confusion
"Hey, you guys have ALWAYS got the hookups!"
-- Road Dogg as he and Gunn visit the Helmsleys and again find an abundance of food
"We know this match was set up by Stephanie and Triple H, right?"
"Yeah."
"We know the New Age Outlaws are buddies of Triple H's."
"Okay, Sherlock Holmes!"
"We know Edge and Christian AND the Hardy Boyz are two teams who are hot on the trail of winning the tag team titles from the Outlaws."
"Right."
"Do you think, perhaps, these two matches were set up to eliminate Edge and Christian and the Hardy Boyz?"
"Man oh MAN, Oliver Stone!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler
"They COULD win... I guess..."
-- Michael Cole on the changes the stooges will have later in the evening against the Outlaws
"Wait a minute... I don't know if that ref made the right call there or not!"
-- Lawler as the instant replay reveals a referee screwup in giving Edge the win over his brother
"The Posse are sneaking out of the building, King!"
"I don't blame them!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as cameras catch the Posse trying to make a break for it
"Go NOW, or your asses are fired!"
"I think I'd rather be fired..."
-- Triple H to the Posse, and a comment from Lawler
"King, I'll tell you what..."
"You'd rather be fired, too, wouldn't you?"
"Put on your hard hat--"
"That won't do any good!"
"And batten down the hatches!"
"That won't do any good either!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as they prepare for the Acolyte/MSP match
"A tremendous reception for the Acolytes, including, of course, Faarooq, King, All-American from right here at Florida State!"
"They retired his jersey here! I think, tonight, they may retire the Posse..."
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as the crowd pops like crazy for the Acolytes (camera shots of the crowd doing the tomahawk chop en masse)
"Let's call 9-1-1 right now."
-- Lawler as the Mean Street Posse comes out
"F-S-U! F-S-U! F-S-U!"
-- chant from the crowd during the thirty-second Acolyte match
"Death wish mean anything to you?"
-- Lawler as the Posse decide to stay in the ring after the bell to try for some revenge, and get destroyed for their trouble
"King, let me ask you a question-- you're the Posse. You lose the match. W--"
"Uh-uh, I ain't the Posse. I'd be fired right now!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler laughing
"We're getting the chant; the Florida State chant!"
-- Lawler (the crowd is SO into this match)
"Let's talk about Stephanie McMahon Helmsley. J.R., if you had one word to describe her actions, what would that be?"
"Well, I... I hate to say it, but she's acting like a little... she's a little... let me say this, Lilian. It rhymes with witch, and it starts with a B."
-- Lilian Garcia backstage with Jim Ross
(Backstage, a furious Triple H is confronting J.R. about his moments-old interview)
TRIPLE H: "Who the hell do you think you are, J.R., huh? The voice of the World Wrestling Federation? You think that means a damn to me? I've done stuff to you before; I'll do it again, J.R.! I swear to God! You better stay out of our way!"
STEPHANIE: "What did you call me, J.R.? Come on, I want to hear it."
J.R.: "I didn't call you anything, Stephanie."
STEPHANIE: "Yes you did; I want to hear you say it."
J.R.: "I'm not gonna say it."
(Stephanie cuffs J.R. a stiff one, with enough force that he topples over)
LAWLER (from ringside): "WOW!"
"Finally, J.R. got his! You don't know how long I've been waiting for that. From Stephanie McMahon he gets it, of all people! She slapped the TASTE out of HIS mouth!"
-- Lawler
"If you're looking for the greatest Christmas gift ever, you've got it right here in WWFWired.com's Stone Cold Steve Austin!"
-- Lawler with that damn talking action figure again
"You decide what Stone Cold Steve Austin says right through your own computer!"
-- Lawler (I have SO many devious ideas coming to mind on what *I* would have Austin say...)
"That was the slap heard 'round the world, wasn't it? I bet his little ol' fat jowls are still ringing right now! Can we show that again?"
-- Lawler on the smack Stephanie delivered to J.R.
"You know what comes now!"
"Yes! The caterpillar!"
"The CENTIPEDE, King!"
"Oh... well... centipede, caterpillar, same thing!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Scotty 2 Hotty does his "worm" maneuver
"I can two-step..."
"I saw you riverdance!"
-- Michael Cole (citing the two-step as evidence of his dancing prowess) and a jab from Lawler as they discuss the art of being "cool"
"Scotty 2 Hotty flattened like a pancake by the five-hundred-pound Viscera!"
-- Michael Cole
"What do you think that Viscera's jacket's made out of? Whatever it is, a whole herd of them were wiped out to make it!"
-- Lawler
"Look at the backside of Rikishi-- he's got buns of steel!"
-- Lawler
"You can actually park a small car in the dimples of Rikishi's rear end!"
-- Lawler again
"Bad time to be a HolllLEEEEE...!"
-- Lawler as Hardcore takes a buttdrop from Rikishi
"What an ass! Look at that!"
"What?!"
-- Lawler on Rikishi, and Michael Cole
"Check it out, King!"
"I love this... this is so cool!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Too Cool and Rikishi get ready to dance
"Rikishi getting jiggy with it on SmackDown!"
-- Michael Cole as Rikishi and the rest dance in-ring to a BIG pop
"Listen, we can't take this lightly. They're old as dirt, yeah, but Patterson-- he was an Intercontinental champ!"
"Yeah, back in 1902!"
-- Road Dogg and Billy Gunn discussing their upcoming match against the stooges
"Santa, I don't understand why I have to tell you, AGAIN, all the naughty things I did. You should know; you see everything, remember?"
"Please, just... humor Santa Claus."
-- another Terri/Santa commercial
"From a Terri Christmas to this!"
-- Michael Cole as "Real American" fires up
"YOUR ass better call somebody!"
-- Road Dogg as the New Age Outlaws enter (this may just be coincidence, but just as the Outlaws walk on stage, the angle changes to show Brisco in the ring-- YOU tell ME whether that motion was just him "warming up" or not)
"Y'know King, if this was about ten, fifteen years ago-- well, maybe longer than that-- I'd give Brisco and Patterson a chance. Great tag team wrestlers in their day; Pat Patterson a Hall of Famer! But the bottom line is, the Outlaws in their prime, and the greatest tag team in the history of the World Wrestling Federation."
"Yeah, Patterson and Brisco would HAVE a chance about ten or fifteen years ago, 'cause the New Age Outlaws would only be about fifteen years old!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler
"These old dogs have got some new tricks!"
-- Michael Cole as Brisco blinds Billy Gunn and Patterson pulls a foreign object out of his pants (a-HEM) to attack Road Dogg
"Keep in mind, folks, this is no-disqualification for the tag team titles, and Brisco and Patterson--"
"He's got a CHAIN!"
"--they've got some fight in them!"
"There's no TELLING what he's got in those trunks!"
"Right hand with that chain to the forehead of the Road Dogg, and Brisco and Patterson have surprised the Outlaws here!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler
"The Boston Crab! Patterson has Road Dogg in a submission maneuver! Look at Brisco! Brisco with the figure four on Billy Gunn!"
"ARE WE GONNA HAVE NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS?!?"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler (whose voice is as high-pitched here as I've ever heard it)
"The tag champs had some problems in the beginning but they retain the titles..."
-- Michael Cole as the Outlaws recover and make the stooges pay for their early flurry of action
"Oh, you didn't know?"
-- the crowd picking up Road Dogg's chant during the victory music; check out Road Dogg's exaggerated pantomimes in the ring
"Well, Pat Patterson says he knows all the warning signs of a heart attack! I think he may be having one over there right now!"
-- Lawler as cameras find Patterson recovering on the ring apron
"I don't recall if I informed you guys, so I'll come out here and do it now. This title match..."
"Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!"
"Hey, wait a minute! He'll have Stephanie come out there and slap every one of your faces if you don't shut up!"
"This title match; this happens to be a lumberjack match."
-- Triple H, a crowd chant, and a comment from Lawler
"They're sitting in a La-Z-Boy!"
-- Lawler as Triple H sits back in a recliner in front of the OvalTron, Stephanie in his lap
"Who are the lumberjacks going to be?"
"Well, now we're starting to get our clue and look who's leading the pack."
-- Lawler and Michael Cole as the lumberjacks come out-- X-Pac, Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, the Dudley Boyz, MSP, Prince Albert, Viscera, Mideon, Kurt Angle-- sensing a pattern?-- Al Snow, the Hollies, etc.
"King, I really have to question to objectivity of the lumberjacks that are gonna be surrounding the ring here!"
-- Michael Cole
"Rock Me!"
-- sign in the crowd
"King, I don't know if I'm treading in murky water here..."
"Let me tell you, you are. Go ahead."
"With everything we've seen here tonight... do you think perhaps that Triple H and Stephanie have an agenda; that perhaps, personal vendettas are being carried out my the Helmsley/McMahon coalition?"
"I'm not gonna go there!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler
"They're supposed to throw him in, not beat him up!"
"Does that answer your question about objectivity, Michael?"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as the Rock gets thrown out of the ring and is promptly attacked by at least half the heels at ringside
"See, this is fair! They're impartial!"
-- Lawler as the lumberjacks also attack the Big Show
"Third time's a charm!"
-- Michael Cole as the Rock finally knocks the Big Show down on the third clothesline attempt in a row
"King! It's Mankind for the Rock and Sock Connection! Mankind is cleaning house!"
-- Michael Cole as Mankind runs to the rescue with a shopping cart full of weapons, and promptly begins taking out hapless heels left, right, and sideways
"Mankind's gonna be in BIG trouble for this!"
-- Lawler
"Heads are gonna roll!"
-- Michael Cole, referring to the upcoming RAW is WAR antics Monday
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