Quotes: SmackDown!
December 30, 1999 - Millennium edition
Taped 12/28/99 from Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia - sold out
Throughout the night, clips of Mick Foley's classic moments are shown. Review of Mankind's firing. Backstage, Triple H and Steph make a few matches for the evening in several vignettes. Handicap match: Test vs. Prince Albert/Big Boss Man (C). Rikishi Phatu (w/ Too Cool) vs. Kurt Angle; Rikishi and Too Cool dance beforehand; Steve Blackman interferes. Stephanie confronts Tori backstage about the Rock. Jeff Hardy (w/ Terri) vs. Al Snow (w/ Head); Matt Hardy interferes. The Hollys (w/ scale) vs. the Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young (w/ Mark Henry and Harvey Wippleman); Mark and Henry interfere. The Rock and Tori clash backstage. No-holds-barred match: Kane (w/ Tori) vs. the Rock. J.R. interviews Mankind at home. Triple H puts a shocking stipulation on the main event. WWF Intercontinental championship: Chris Jericho (C) vs. Chyna (w/ the Kat [C]). Faarooq (w/ Bradshaw) vs. Buh Buh Ray Dudley (w/ D-Von Dudley); Mean Street Posse interfere. Viscera/Jacqueline vs. Gangrel/Luna. X-Pac vs. the Big Show (C); D-X interferes.
"Hello, everybody, and welcome to SmackDown on UPN! We're wrapping up 1999 WWF style, and we come to you from the sold-out Richmond Coliseum in Richmond, Virginia! We're just three days removed from the shocking firing of Mick Foley, Mankind, and tonight we'll look back on his spectacular career."
-- Michael Cole, kicking us off
"HHH: Ditch the Bitch"
-- sign in the crowd
"Test: Violate Me!!"
-- sign in the crowd
"Mae Young + Mark Henry = Nausea"
-- sign in the crowd
(Backstage, Triple H and Stephanie are congratulating each other on their recent achievements when Kane and Tori walk in. The Helmsleys stand and face their guests)
TRIPLE H: "I asked you to come here because I need you to help us out a little bit, all right?"
(Kane puts his hands on his hips)
TRIPLE H: "Now, I know this whole Mick Foley thing has got everybody wound up, but hey-- Mick Foley GOT what he deserved. To tell you the truth, we're damn proud of firing Mick Foley. He deserved it. But we're not trying to throw our weight around; we're not trying to make threats at people and threaten people when they're doing things. But you have to remember something. We did you a huge favor Monday night. We gave you Test, and hell, I don't blame you for wanting him! If Test did to her--"
(draws Stephanie into his arms)
TRIPLE H: "--what he did to Tori, I'd have done a whole lot worse to him than what you did Monday. What I need you to do... I need you to do me a favor. I need you to get in the ring tonight, no-holds-barred... with the Rock. And... y'know, I'm not trying to stir things up, but I see the way the Rock looks at her--"
(gestures at Tori, who begins to look panicked)
TRIPLE H: "--I know you see it."
STEPHANIE (to Tori): "And I know YOU know Rock's reputation with women."
TRIPLE H: "He burns a hole in her, Kane, every time he's looking at her!"
STEPHANIE: "Tori, you must feel it!"
TRIPLE H (to Kane): "That's gotta be eating you alive. So, you know, I mean... I'm not really looking at this so much as you doing me a favor; I'm pretty much looking at it like I'm doing you a favor; you can nip this whole thing in the bud, right now. What do you say; are you in?"
(Kane gives a single nod, tightening the glove on his right hand.)
TRIPLE H: "That's what I thought."
(Tori touches Kane and they quickly exit. Triple H turns to Stephanie)
TRIPLE H: "This stuff's so easy!"
"I've got to admit, it does give me some kind of pleasure to see Test getting the CRAP beat out of him week after week after week!"
"I love that about you."
-- Stephanie and Triple H backstage, enjoying their latest booking achievements
"Nice thing he's wearing, too; what a dork!"
-- Triple H on Test's nose protector
"I bet he rues the day he EVER proposed to Stephanie McMahon!"
-- Lawler as Test gets beaten down again
"Just for the record, I'd like to say that Mick Foley is a dear friend of ours."
"Well, you know what? Just for the record, you two are an embarrassment to the World Wrestling Federation!"
-- the Fabulous Moolah and Stephanie, backstage
(Backstage, Al Snow is making himself at home in the Helmsleys dressing room. Steph and Triple H look bored. Al has Head sitting in his lap.)
AL SNOW: "I cannot even begin to find the words to express how happy I am... OVERJOYED... that Mick Foley has been fired!"
TRIPLE H: "Great."
AL SNOW: "I mean... I went out there Monday night, Hunter, to save him; to sacrifice myself, and he turned on me! And then the Rock got the pink slip and he got fired; I think he got EXACTLY what he deserved for turning his back on me. I'm here, I guess... I'm sure you realize I'm here for something; I want something. I want Mick's spot. He's gone... I'm here..."
TRIPLE H (incredulous): "You... want Mick Foley's spot."
AL SNOW (nodding and giggling): "I want Mick Foley's spot."
TRIPLE H (thoughtful): "All right, well... I'll tell you what. If Mick Foley were here..."
AL SNOW: "He's not."
TRIPLE H: "If he was here..."
AL SNOW: "Yes..."
TRIPLE H: "We would have Mick Foley wrestle again Jeff Hardy, reason being Matt Hardy is already on the shelf. He's injured."
AL SNOW: "Yes."
TRIPLE H: "I would make Mick Foley take out Jeff Hardy so we can just eliminate that tag team altogether."
AL SNOW: "So you want ME to cripple Jeff Hardy."
TRIPLE H: "Yes I do."
STEPHANIE: "And if you're successful, we'll throw in a bonus."
AL SNOW (still grinning): "Really?"
TRIPLE H: "Oh yeah."
AL SNOW: "So I've got Mick's spot."
(Al Snow stands up with fists clenched, a demented grin of joy on his face. Head dangles from his left hand by her hair)
AL SNOW: "I've got Mick's spot! I'VE GOT MICK'S SPOT!"
(Triple H and Stephanie look after him with amusement before exchanging a knowing look)
"You just can't relate to how cool they are because you're so UNcool, Michael Cole!"
-- Lawler as Too Cool hits the ring
"Richmond, Virginia. What I would like to do for you tonight, if you would allow me to, is I, Kurt Angle, Olympic champion, American hero, a man of intensity, integrity, and intelligence, I could be your honorary hometown hero!"
"Oh, if I had a son I'd want him to grow up to be just like Kurt Angle. Wouldn't you, Michael?"
"Your turned out to be a Grandmaster."
"What?"
-- Kurt Angle, Lawler, and Michael Cole
"Impotent, Irritable, Idiot"
-- "Three Is" sign in the crowd
"(W)e (W)ant (F)oley"
-- sign in the crowd
"What the hell is THIS? You're having him handcuffed?"
"You said he wasn't going to get involved; I'm just making sure!"
-- Stephanie and Triple H backstage as Steve Blackman is handcuffed to the ringpost prior to the Kurt Angle/Rikishi match
"He should have to start beeping before he backs into you like that!"
-- Lawler on Rikishi
"Where the hell did he get a KEY?"
"I don't know; he's very resourceful! But I guess that means that Kurt Angle is still undefeated and will remain so at the end of the century."
"That's unbelievable... I can't believe you; what's the deal with that?"
"I had NOTHING to do with this."
-- Triple H and Stephanie backstage after the Angle/Phatu matchup
"Hi, Tori. I just wanted to come to you because I have something I needed to tell you about the Rock. And I wanted to tell you away from Kane so Kane wouldn't get upset, and also so you didn't get... embarrassed. And in fact, it's a little awkward for me to tell you this."
"Just say it!"
"Well, I don't know for a fact, but... I've heard that the Rock likes to... to violate women."
"Why-- why are you telling me this? Why? Why?"
"Because I think you should know, I've seen the way he looks at you! I mean, he bores holes through you; he looks at you lasciviously--"
"No, no no no no no..."
"And he clenches his hands as if he's groping your body--"
"NO!"
"Tori, I just thought you should know, from one woman to another, because I'd want to know."
-- Stephanie and an upset Tori backstage
"Hey, I think YOUR eyes are boring holes through Terri, there!"
-- Lawler to Michael Cole
"What is this tonight with all these "Mick Foley Moments?" I mean, is this the Mick Foley hour all of a sudden? I thought he was fired!"
"Remembering a legendary career, a fifteen-year career of a great competitor, a great man, Mick Foley."
"Yeah, but you're wasting valuable airtime on the guy. If there was a wrestlers' old folks home or something, he'd be out there cutting the grass!"
-- Lawler and Michael Cole
"Al Snow is glad that Mick Foley's gone; perhaps the only one in the back that's glad that Mick Foley's no longer with us in the World Wrestling Federation... Mankind, of course, losing to the Rock on Monday night on RAW in that pink slip on a pole match; Al Snow actually came out and took out the Rock, trying to help Mick Foley win. Mick Foley didn't want to win it that way; he wanted to do it by himself."
"...Are you through?"
"Yes."
"Thanks, because I just wanted to correct you on something you said that was very stupid!"
"What?"
"You said that Al Snow's probably the only one in the back that's glad that Mick Foley was fired!"
"ONE of the only ones."
"Yeah! You forgot about Triple H... Stephanie... Road Dogg... Mr. Ass... me..."
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as the Hardy/Snow match continues
"Terr-i! Terr-i! Terr-i!"
-- chant from the crowd
"Already tonight, Triple H has threatened Test with being fired. He's threatened Moolah and Mae Young with being fired. He fired Mick Foley on Monday night, and... King, you and I better watch our step!"
"What? Hey, speak for yourself!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler
"It seems to me, King, that perhaps D-X is trying to eliminate the Hardys because they're such strong competition for the New Age Outlaws, and the Outlaws' tag team titles!"
"Eliminate your competition? That's smart in business... that's what Wal-Mart did..."
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Al Snow viciously attacks the left knee of Jeff Hardy
"Chyna's not a woman; she's the Ninth Wonder of the World."
-- Lawler
"Look at Terri... she's definitely going to need to be consoled after this."
-- Lawler as Terri watches in concern from ringside
"It's not fair! I had him!"
-- a ticked-off Al Snow as Matt and Terri help Jeff backstage
"Is it just my imagination, or does Mae have a truck driver tan?"
-- Lawler
"What about the double-date they went out on, Mark Henry and Harvey Wippleman? The last time Moolah and Mae went on a double-date, it was with Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble!"
-- Lawler as Moolah and Mae square off against the Hollys
"No! Don't tell me, King!"
"ACK!"
"BRONCO BUSTER!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Mae Young hits a hilarious bronco buster on Crash Holly; just listen to how hard Lawler is laughing!
"Look at Mark Henry! Oh my, can you believe it?"
"I CAN'T believe it!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Mark Henry leaps for joy in reaction to the bronco buster; the crowd is popping HUGE
"The shirt; no, not the shirt!"
"Look out, everybody! Here he comes to save the day..."
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Harvey Wippleman comes in and tries to defend his woman's honor
(Backstage, Michael Hayes is stationed outside the Rock's locker room. He goes on camera with an update)
MICHAEL HAYES: "Well guys, quite frankly, the Rock has refused to answer any questions about whether the Rock has eyes for Tori or not!"
(Tori suddenly races up, grabbing Michael Hayes by the shoulder)
TORI (panicked): "Michael! Michael, I'm convinced. I absolutely believe what I've been told--"
(The locker room door opens suddenly, and the Rock steps out into the hallway)
THE ROCK (to Michael Hayes): "Shut your mouth, jabroni! The Rock never refused to answer any of your questions! You want the Brahma Bull, all you gotta do is--"
(Unexpectedly, Tori lets out a scream. Startled, the Rock stops talking and both he and Michael Hayes look down the hallway where Tori is slowly backing away from them, sliding along the wall)
THE ROCK (to Tori): "What's wrong with you?"
(Tori screams again as the Rock steps around Michael Hayes to approach her. She backs away rapidly)
TORI: "No... just leave me alone, please!"
(She rushes into a room further down the hall)
THE ROCK (staring after her): "Leave you alone? What are you--" (the Rock looks at Michael Hayes) "What did you do to HER?"
MICHAEL HAYES: "I didn't do anything!"
THE ROCK: "Then what the hell's the matter with her?"
MICHAEL HAYES: "I don't know!"
CROWD (watching this unfold on the OvalTron): "Rock-y! Rock-y! Rock-y!"
(The Rock looks after her one last time, shakes his head, and disappears back into his locker room as Michael Hayes tries to figure out what just happened)
"Uh-oh, look at those eyes! Is he looking at Tori?"
-- Lawler as the Rock glares at Kane, trying to psych out his opponent
"Kane knocked off the stage, crashing to the floor below!"
-- Michael Cole as a punch from the Rock knocks Kane off the SmackDown stage and through a table
(Transcript of J.R.'s interview with Mankind, conducted at his home after his firing on RAW)
J.R.: "Mick, I know that your wife, Colette, little Noel and our pal Dewey were watching Monday night live on RAW and... how did you explain the whole scenario, the situation, to them?"
MANKIND: "I had to prepare my my kids for the day that I'd be leaving wrestling, and... I remember one time I told my daughter, y'know, daddy's not going to be wrestling much longer. And when I asked her how she felt about that, she said, "Well Daddy, if you don't wrestle, we can't eat, and we're going to die!" So J.R., you know me pretty well; you know I've been saving my money for a long time, so I had a little talk with my daughter about the effects of compounding interest and that the Foleys are probably going to be okay for a little while. But they're very sad. I was my children's hero... their action hero. I hope to continue to be their hero, but as dad, instead of as Mankind."
J.R.: "You talked about going out under your own terms. In a perfect world, what would have been that scenario?"
MANKIND: "Oh, that would be real simple. It's something I had my eyes on last year as well. I'd like to retire in the main event of WrestleMania, the one goal that's eluded me my career here in the WWF... and I'd like to go out as the WWF champion. In a perfect world."
J.R.: "After what happened Monday night, do you harbor any bitterness toward the Rock over that pink slip on a pole match?"
MANKIND: "I'm not bitter in any way about what happened as it extends to the Rock, because the truth is, if I had won this match I'd probably be the most hated guy in the WWF right now. I'm pretty realistic about my role in wrestling; I know I've been a very, very valuable part of the WWF; I think I still am. But the Rock, right now, is the man, and he is the future of the WWF. If you put he and I side by side, one of us has his best days behind him, and one of us has his best days in front of him. I think that Rock will continue to electrify audiences for a long time, so I'm not bitter towards him at all. We were both in a pretty bad position."
J.R.: "Of all the great things that you've accomplished in the WWF, what do you consider your finest hour, your proudest moment in this company?"
MANKIND: "Oh... you know, I was joking around with one of our production guys who was here... y'know, setting up the lights here, and talking about when I went in on the peep show, when I was looking for one of the other guys and ended up yanking out one of the patrons who had his pants down to his ankles. I don't think anyone will remember that one specifically as one of my greatest moments, but as a whole I'd like to think I provided some of the most ridiculous, sophomoric, funny moments in WWF history, and as an in-ring performer I'd like to be remembered, always, for the return of Cactus Jack at Madison Square Garden a couple of years ago, and for winning my WWF championship for the first time, Worcester, Massachusetts, almost exactly one year ago."
J.R.: "What's really going on inside you, in your head right now?"
MANKIND: "Oh, J.R... it's a mixed feeling. On the one hand, I'm SO happy that I'm going to be home with my kids... that my wife, who's wanted me to stop wrestling for the past year and a half, has gotten her wish. But she knows this isn't the way I wanted to go out. I had a beautiful image in my head, and what happened to me Monday night was far from beautiful. It was humiliating; it's not the way I wanted to go out. I just think that it's damn pretentious of Triple H and Stephanie to just finish a career because they personally get off on playing with people's lives, playing with their dreams and their emotions, and in this case with their families. I think that their ability to write my final chapter is woefully inept, and I think that I'M the person who's going to decide how Mick Foley goes out. And I'll be damned if I'm going to take the sentence they handed down, sitting down. I'm composing myself out of respect for you and the crew and my family, but I'm not happy about it. And I will do something about it, in some way at some time. And that's about all I really want to say."
"You're going to take my frustrations out tonight on the Big Show. I want you to beat his ass like it's never been beaten before; do you understand me? Have no sympathy for him at all, because I've got no sympathy for him. I've got no sympathy for him, I've got no sympathy for Mick Foley, I've got none for anybody. As a matter of fact, if you don't beat him tonight... you're fired."
"...You're gonna fire ME? You're going to fire me. After all the crap we've been through. All our history, you're gonna fire me."
"Yeah, you'll be fired."
"Whatever, man."
"Don't think I won't do it!"
-- Triple H, X-Pac, and a comment from Stephanie as Triple H drops a surprising stip on the main event
"I know there's been a lot of speculation; a lot of rumors as to why I've been pulling your ass out of the fire now, week after week, Chris Jericho! I'd like to set a few of those rumors straight. It is NOT because of admiration, it is NOT because of mutual respect. It is, quite frankly, because, Chris, I've been biding my time while a reconstructed thumb has been healing. Well, it's all healed up now, Chris. I'm ready, tonight. I want you to come out here, and we're going to see who the true champion is."
-- Chyna
"She's been making sure that Chris Jericho remained the Intercontinental champion, to this moment!"
"So she could get some revenge."
-- Lawler and Michael Cole, unraveling Chyna's motives
"Chyna, how dare you come down here and LIE to all of these Jerichoholics!" (crowd pop) "You didn't come down to the ring all those times to save me! You came down to the ring to get close to me, because you've got a crush on Y... 2... J, don'tcha?" (crowd pops) "Yeah. Well, unfortunately sister, I don't feel the same way about you!"
-- Chris Jericho as Chyna fumes
"King, there's a disputed decision here as more officials come down to the ring... Chyna believes she's won; Jericho believes he's won!"
-- Michael Cole after a double pinfall
"Who's the Intercontinental champion?!"
-- Lawler
"I still can't understand why Triple H didn't make this a title matchup. I mean, maybe what Mick Foley said on Monday night was right. Triple H only cares about himself winning the title; he doesn't care about anyone else getting the title shots... not even a member of D-X."
-- Michael Cole on the main event
"They've come hunting bear!"
-- Michael Cole as a well-equipped Posse attacks the Acolytes
"I knew if we gave those guys enough shots with the Acolytes, sooner or later they'd come out on top!"
-- Triple H, backstage, on the Mean Street Posse
"I know how he is, you know, he likes to be boss and everything... but he's not supposed to treat US like that!"
-- X-Pac backstage, commiserating with the New Age Outlaws on Triple H
"If Triple H is willing to fire his best buddy X-Pac, who knows what the McMahon-Helmsley era is capable of?"
-- Michael Cole
"Luna trying to climb the back of Viscera; hardly moving this big behemoth..."
-- Michael Cole as Luna struggles to climb Mt. Viscera; check out Gangrel laughing in the background
"B.B.! B.B.! B.B.!"
-- chant from the crowd as B.B. leads the EMTs to the ring to check on Luna; check out how the crowd leaps up when they see her, too
(Backstage, Michael Hayes is STILL waiting on the Rock. The door opens suddenly and the Rock, dressed to hit the road, comes out)
MICHAEL HAYES: "Rock! Rock, I've been waiting to ask you--"
(The Rock barely glances at him before heading on down the hall)
MICHAEL HAYES (raising his voice to call after the Rock): "Is it weighing on your conscience that, by virtue of your victory Monday night, that you got Mick Foley fired?"
(The Rock freezes and looks back at Michael Hayes. Slowly he stalks back)
THE ROCK: "What did you say to the Rock?"
MICHAEL HAYES (shrinking back): "I-- I think I worded that wrong. That's not quite how I meant for it--"
THE ROCK: "You DID word that wrong! Let the Rock tell you right here, right now that it wasn't because of the Rock that Mick Foley was fired. It was because of Stephanie and Triple H making the candy-ass stipulation on RAW is WAR; the Rock just went out there and did exactly what he had to do to win the match. And now, tonight, the Rock had to face the Big Red Retard in a no-holds-barred match. Why? Because of his schizophrenic goofy girlfriend, who the Rock wouldn't even WASTE an OUNCE of muscle on to look at? And back to Mick Foley. A man who's given his blood and his sweat for the past fifteen years in this business; the very business in which the Rock grew up in. Two-time WWF tag team champions with the Rock. Three-time WWF champion. A family man. Absolutely NOT! The Rock is not happy that a man like Mick Foley is FIRED over a candy-ass stipulation like that."
(The Rock grabs Michael Hayes by the front of his shirt and yanks him close)
THE ROCK: "You make no mistake about it, jabroni. Don't you ever-- AND THE ROCK MEANS..."
CROWD: "EVER..."
THE ROCK: "Ever, come at the Rock and ask him a question like that again. Or else the Rock will knock your teeth so far down your throat, you'll stick a toothbrush up your ass to brush them!"
"Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!"
-- the crowd to Triple H, who has come out onto the stage to observe the main event
"You've got to give it to X-Pac! He's not-- or, at least, he doesn't appear to be intimidated! ...oh Lord."
"X-Pac giving away over two hundred and fifty pounds to the Big Show!"
-- Lawler and Michael Cole as the Big Show handles X-Pac like a rag doll
"Show, hold on! Before you do something you're going to regret, let me inform you that this match is a handicap match, so let me introduce you to his partner... Road Dogg!"
-- Triple H; Big Show drops X-Pac from a press at this point and lets him fall about eight feet, flat on his face on the ring mat
"Road Dogg's hurt himself."
-- Triple H commenting to Stephanie as they watch X-Pac and Road Dogg attempt to handle the Big Show
"Uh-oh..."
"Road Dogg hobbling on one leg--"
"He's hurt!"
-- Lawler and Michael Cole as Road Dogg twists his ankle somewhere in the battle
"It's a three-on-one, King!"
"Yes!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Mr. Ass joins his D-X buddies in the ring
"Hey... before you guys go and think you can have all the fun around here, this IS a handicap match, and you've got another partner! So let me introduce you to him... me!"
-- Triple H, heading ringside to join D-X in the Big Show beatdown (listen to the crowd's reaction)
"This is an assassination! Triple H and his buddies are assassinating the Big Show!"
"Okay, so he's an EVIL genius!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler
"He did it! He did it! X-Pac has pulled the upset of the century..."
"Calm down!"
-- Lawler and Michael Cole as D-X finally knocks the Big Show out and lets X-Pac cover him
"Take a look at this, Michael! Your WWF champion has been left in a bloody mess by Triple H!"
-- Lawler
"You see, it's as simple as this! If you mess with us, you've got two choices! You either get your ass kicked, or..."
"You get your ass FIRED!"
-- Triple H (look at the Big Show's blood on his hands) and Stephanie as a massive "Asshole" chant cranks up
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