hello people, i got something to tell. it's not much but it's really something.
last saturday i went to the Grand Palace, pay the respect to the Emerald Buddha. i was there for half and hour or more. there're many foreigners. also, there're more Thais. i haven't seen as many Thais before. mostly they came with whole family. i used to see some teens came with friends. it's really touching, of course those are from provinces. i hardly see bangkokian teens.
what i need to say is there was a family of mother with three kids. while i was looking at the mural painting, they were also 'discussing' about the painting story, Ramayana. the oldest boy is probably ten years old. they looked at the painting and tried to figure out which part of that scene. then the mother told the story. i felt like, i have no knowledge of Ramayana at all. why don't i study? shame on me. and yes, i will start reading the Ramayana soon.
as i said before, i don't feel like working with this company anymore. still i come to work everyday. it's like i'm forcing myself doing it, it's really exhausting. my brother asked me though. i'm really worried then i went to the temple. i don't know but i sense 'his despair'. maybe it's me alone thinking. hope that he keeps fighting. but still i keep thinking about it. i know i can find the way to survive without my family support. really feel sorry for him that i can't even help him. what i can only do is to do what he wants me to.
though i enjoy watching korean everything, i'm still getting bored. nothing really interests me at all. why can't i be more energetic person? i think i should be more active, but 'easier talking than doing'. the more i try to get away, the more i got stuck in here. above all, money is the key. only i were a millionaire, i'd got nothing to worry about except that it'd be over. well, better stop talking about money here.
ok, it's all for now. i'll be getting better. i have no choice but to be here, otherwise i'll be broke. anyway, everyone got a good day and enjoy your live as much as possible. i try to enjoy mine. love and peace
missing all heaps,
la bonita 17 October 2005
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