hi there
one month had passed and i'm here back to the start. life is uncertain, really.
first thing first, i lost my job. since i feel so uneasy working with those people, i decided to quit. my accuse was simple, my family comes first. no matter as how they would see me after this incident, i accept it with grace. i just don't want to do thing that i don't like to. my free will, i love it.
in fact, i'm like this. don't want to do anything, don't want to take any responsibility on any works. just live my life freely. do only thing i want to do. i have no ambition. no future. my own definition is 'ignorance'
anyway, next subject, i'd like to share this story with you. i'm now reading the books of Paulo Coelho, the brazillian writer. his first book i read is 'The Alchemist'. i like it so much. it confirms me the thought - not the goal but the journey experienced toward the goal is most important and more interesting. i'd like to have courage going on any kind of adventure. but as the book said, i'm afraid. afraid of changing to something that i'm not used to. i've been thinking for many years about moving abraod but i'm afraid, that i couldn't survive there alone. this keeps me here and not going anywhere still.
the second book is 'O Zahir', it also talks about the courage to lose something to get something else. i want to live my life like that. and i know, after reading it, i'm sure that my time will come, sooner or later. i just need to listen carefully to the sound, pay attention to any signs given. talking about the signs, i think of the hollywood movie 'Fools Rush In'. i always believe in 'fate'. as i told you in previous messages, what will be mine, be mine. i live my normal life, and well prepared when it times to change and turn my life off track, i'm just ready for it. what do you guys think about this??
i'm still waiting for someone. though i live my life happily alone, i need someone to be by my side. stay quietly arms in arms listening to each other's heart beating. just that... dreaming...
well then, time to check out. love you all as always. take good care of yourselves and stay cool!
la bonita 04 march 2008
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