POLITICAL VIRUSES

PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS :
your system works fine, but complains loudly about foreign software.

COLIN POWELL VIRUS :
makes it's presence known but doesn't do anything. secretly you wish it would.

HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS :
files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a year later, in another directory

OJ SIMPSON VIRUS :
you knpw it's quilty of trashing your system, but you just can't prove it.

BOB DOLE VIRUS :
could be virulent, but it's been around too long to be much of threat.

PAUL REVERE VIRUS :
tis virus doesn't horse around, warms you of impending attack. once if by LAN, twice if by C.

POLITICALY CORRECT VIRUS :
never identifies itself as a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism"

ROSS PEROT VIRUS :
activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.

TED TUNER VIRUS :
colorized your monochrome monitor.

GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS :
nothing works, but all your diagnostic softwar says everthing is fine.

FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS :
divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing;
but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

GALLUP VIRUS :
60% of the PC's infected will lose 30% of their data 14% of time (pluse or minus a 3.5% margin of error)

TEXAS VIRUS :
makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS :
takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS :
the computer locks up and the screen splits in half with the same massage appearing,
on each side. the massage says that the blame for the gridlock is caused by the other side.

FREUDIAN VIRUS :
your computer becomes obsessed with marrying it's own motherboard.

PBS VIRUS :
your program stops running every few minutes to ask for money.

ELVIS VIRUS :
your computer gets fat, slow and lazy; then self destructs only to surface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

DILIE NORTH VIRUS :
causes your printer to become a paper shredder.

SEARS VIRUS :
your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply, and shocks.

JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS :
your program can never be found again.

KEVORKIAN VIRUS :
helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.

HEALTH CARE VIRUS :
tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong and sends you a bill for $4,500.00.

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