(writen by Lindsey)

"This night tis a dark, dreary night," Says I to Tiffany on the telephone. "Not in California, my friend, bright is the sun and fresh is the air." "Not only dark and dreary tis, but lonely all the same." Says I in sadness. "Don't worry, a feeling I have about you, girl, you won't be lonely for long, I can see you finding love in the near future." "Hhmmph...Must go I, for now Talk Soup is on TV." Tiffany sometimes thinks she can foretell the future. Or she could just want to make me feel better... 'Don't worry' she says... I place the phone back on the ringer, and see the remote control across the room on the floor. "Methinks I could reach that lest getting up..." Methinks aloud. Trying to grab the remote control is difficult without leaving my old, dusty recliner, for the bloody thing is but 2 inches away from my fingertips reach, but trying harder, I finally get the blasted thing. And just in time, for when I flip on the TV I hear the familiar un-hummable theme song of my favorite show... "Welcome to the Talk Soup Weekend show!! I'm your host Hal Sparks!!" The ever-so-reassuring sound of Hal's voice is almost hynotizing. WATCH TALK SOUP EVERY CHANCE THOU GETS, he seems to say. John Henson used to do that... During commercial I run to the kitchen to grab a drink and when I start back, in my old dusty recliner a man sits. At first I want to run away, but against my consciences wishes, I sneak up now further to my front door and out of the bureau I take my gun. With the gun clasped to my chest, I creep closer to my chair... He can't see me, but His face I now can see...spiky hair, handsome profile. God sakes...it cannot be him! No... I point my gun at him anyway, "What man art thou, that thus bescreened in night so stumblest on my counsel?" I yell. The man puts his hands over his head. "No! Shoot me thou must not!! Thou knows me! Please! By a name that thou dost already know, Hal Sparks, tis me." "How camest thou hither, tell me and wherefore? I did not ring you up and the nightguard mustove been downstairs..." (I live in an apartment) As quickly as I pulled a gun on him, I place my gun back on the table next to my chair. "With loves light wings did I o'erperch these walls, for stupid, creepy, sleepy, nightguards cannot keep me from you. " Oer the small of my back Hal placed his hands lightly and pulled me ever closer to him. I could feel the warmth of his breath on my face as he said "Especially ones who I paid $500 to let me up to thou place." I smiled, I could not help but. Thou knowest the smile when you are so overjoyed and glad that it never leaves? Yeah that one... Though I was in my pajamas (the ones with the little yellow happy faces) and not wearing any makeup...(not exactly looking my best... it was 1:13 AM on Friday night god sakes!) Hal whispered, "If I profane with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this..." He ran his hand through my tousled brown hair, and ended on the side of my face. He pulled me ever closer for the most amazing kiss in all of time. Now, Always was I the one to overanalyze a situation. Leave it to me to think things through, and just never let them happen. On my dusty old recliner, we were kissing, and I stopped him. " Dost thou love me?" I asked, "Before thou gost any further." "Lady, by yonder blessed moon I vow..." "Swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon with monthly changes in her circled orb, lest that thy love prove likewise variable." "Then what shall I swear by?" "Do not swear at all, or if thou wilt, Swear by thy gracious self, which is the god of my idolatry, and I'll believe thee." "By my gracious self, all my hearts love, everything that is me. Everything that is you, Everything that will be us. I love you, Lindsey." Again, the cursed smile that dost not die. "I love you too." This time, I reach for him. By his shirt I grab him and into my bedroom I lead. "But soft, dost thou want this?" Asks he. "Oh, definitely. For too long wanting this I have been." And at 1:24 AM, Friday night, (Saturday morning), I found love.

As soon as you look up the big words, come on back to STORIES.