Take this quiz to see if you are Stefano Dimira.  If you get all of the correct answers you must go hide on a secret island, but always be too busy to answer your own cell phone.

1. You have this many illegitimate children.....

a) 23, in the Salem area

b) 3

c) How the hell should I know, I am only their father

d) 0

e) At least 257 worldwide

2. You want a woman to love you so you........

a) Lock her up in a cage, call her a bitch and throw things at her

b) Give her rosesand diamonds and tell her how wonderful she is

c) Show her how kind and caring you can be (and don't tell her about the illegitimate children)

d) Lock her in a cage, give her a crown, throw things at her, call her a bitch, then try to execute the love of her life via a guillotine

e) She doesn't love you, forget about her

3. You have an incredible amount of intelligent scientists under your power, you......

a) Have them create a cure for all human disease

b) Call NASA and send them there to help with the space program

c) Have them cure your brain tumors with prizms then create some Virtual Reality Goggles so that you can torture your enemies

d) Ask them to leave, you are frightened by science

e) Have them create a magical potion to rid you of your HUGE eyebags

4. As a wanted criminal of the utmost intelligence the best disguise for you is.....

a) Glasses and a wig

b) Get plastic surgery and lose 40 pounds so no one will recognize you

c) Hide behind your envelope filled with blackmail for a judge

d) Sunglasses

e) A leather dress

5. The most important thing you teach your children is ....

a) Look both ways before crossing the street

b) Do whatever is necessary to get what you want, selfishness is a virtue

c) Kidnapping is vital to survival

d) Never eat yellow snow

e) Never go anywhere without your cell phone

Correct Answers

1. e  2. d  3. c  4. d  5. b

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