At Stu's house

Dewey: All right you girls have fun, Not too much fun or I'll bust ya.

Dewey: Bye Sid.

Sidney: Bye.

Tatum: Here kids.

Tatum: Oh that's absurd.

Stu: Your tardy for the party so we started without you.

Stu: Oh my man.

Gale: Shh.

Kenny: Were we spotted?

Gale: I don't think so, go get the camera.

Dewey: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare ya.

Gale: Deputy, that's okay.

Dewey: So what brings you to these parts?

Gale: Well you never know when or where a story will break.

Dewey: Not much of a story here just a bunch of kids cutting it loose.

Gale: Then what are you doing here?

Dewey: Just keeping an eye on things.

Dewey: I'm Gonna check the party out.

Gale: Do you mind if I join you?

Dewey: Not at all.

Gale: Let me get my coat.

Gale: Thanks.

Gale: All right.

Dewey: I'm fine.

Dewey: Oh yeah.

In Stu's house

Randy: How many evil deed's?

Randy: One? Two?

Randy: How many Hellraiser's?

Stu: Hellraiser right here.

Sidney: The Fog, Terror Train, Prom Night. How come Jamie Lee Curtis is in all of these movies?

Randy: She's the Scream Queen!

Stu: With a set of lungs like that she should be.

Stu: Yeah.

Tatum: Tits, see?

Stu: Oh, I'll get it.

Stu: Hey Tate, grab another beer will ya? There's beer in the garage.

Tatum: What am I the Beer wench?

Randy: She was nominated for Terror Train.

Sidney: Oh yeah?

Stu: You'll never believe who's here! It's that chic from Top Story!

Dewey: Your under age son, I'm kidding have a good time.

Tatum: Dewey?

Dewey: Hi!

Tatum: Dewey?

Tatum: What is she doin' here?

Dewey: She's with me.

Dewey: I'm just checking things out.

Tatum: So you did.

Tatum: Now leave and take your media mouth with you. Girl #1: I just think your awesome.

Gale: Oh thank you very much.

Girl #2: I watch your show religiously.

Gale: That's great.

Dewey: Hey.

Sidney: Hey.

Randy: I need a camera.

Sidney: Have you found my father?

Dewey: I'm afraid not.

Sidney: Should I be worried?

Dewey: Not yet.

Boy #1: That's the one I want HALLOWEEN!

The garage

Tatum: MMM.

Tatum: Jesus!

Tatum: Tatum it's okay.

Tatum: Shit.

Tatum: Hey Shitheads!

Tatum: Hello?

Tatum: Shit, Piss.

Tatum: Is that you Randy?

Tatum: Cute, what movie is this from?

Tatum: I spit on your garage?

Tatum: Lose the costume, if Sidney sees it she'll flip.

Tatum: Oh, you wanna play psycho killer?

Tatum: Can I be the helpless victim?

Tatum: Okay let's see, On no Mr. Ghostface don't kill me I want to be in the sequel.

Tatum: Cut Casper that's a wrap.

Tatum: Randy, what the hell are you doing?

Tatum: Ahhh! Stop!

Tatum: Fucker!

Tatum: Ahhh! No! No!

Stu: Happy Curfew!

Boy #1: Nice party, Stu.

Sidney: TATUM come on!

Sidney: Do you know where she is?

Billy: Ah!

Sidney: Oh Billy Hey?

Stu: MM. Billy what are you doing here?

Billy: I was hoping to talk to Sidney alone.

Sidney: You know if Tatum sees you she'll draw blood.

Stu: You know, why don't you guys go up to my parents bedroom?

Stu: So you guys can talk, whatever.

Billy: Subtlety Stu, you should look it up.

Sidney: No it's okay we need to talk.

Stu: Ooh! Ow!

Randy: What's leatherface doing here?

Stu: Cute, He came to make up.

Randy: There goes my chance with Sid. Damn it.

Stu: As if, that's all I'm going to say, as if.

Randy: Oh really Alicia? "As if" I'm going to check on them.

Kenny: Come on!

Kenny: You are a genius. Oh shit!

Gale: What?

Kenny: I got a delay.

Gale: How long is it?

Kenny: I don't know.

Kenny: What did it take you to walk from the house? 30 seconds?

Gale: It'll be fine. Just record it.

Gale: Oh, the placement is perfect.

Gale: Tell me Kenneth?

Kenny: Hmm?

Gale: Has a cheesy tabloid journalist ever won the Pulitzer?

Kenny: First time for everything.

Gale: Your god damn right.

Billy: So um...

Billy: So...I'm sorry, I've been selfish and I want to apologize.

Sidney: No Billy, I - I am the one who's been selfish and self-absorbed with all of this post traumatic stress.

Billy: You lost your mom!

Sidney: Yeah, I know but your right. Enough is enough. I can't wallow in the grief process forever and I can't keep lying to myself about who my mother was.

Yeah I think, I'm really scared. That I'm Gonna turn out just like her you know? Like the bad seed or something and I know it doesn't make any sense.

Billy: Yeah it does. hmm...It's like Jodie Foster in "Silence of the Lambs" when she keeps having flashbacks of her dead father.

Sidney: But this is life. It's not a movie.

Billy: Sure it is Sid. It's all it is. It's just one big movie.

Billy: Only you can't pick your genre.

Sidney: Why can't I be a Meg Ryan movie or even a good porno.

Billy: What?

Sidney: You heard me!

Billy: Are you sure?

Sidney: Yeah I think so.

Randy: Look, Look, Look here it comes!

Boy #1: Whoa Ohh!

Boy #2: Why do they do that?

Boy #2: The blood is all wrong. It's too red.

Randy: Wait, here comes another.

Boy #1: Ooh, yes .

Boy #1: Predictable, I knew he was going to bite it.

Boy #2: How can you watch this shit over and over?

Randy: Shh.

Stu: I wanna see Jamie Lee's breast.

Stu: When will we see Jamie Lee's breasts?

Randy: Breasts?

Randy: Not until "Trading Places" in '83.

Randy: Jamie was always the virgin in horror movies.

Randy: She never showed her tits until she went legits.

Girl #1: Couldn't afford a decent pair.

Randy: That's why she always out smarted the killer in the big chase scene at the end.

Randy: Only virgins can do that, don't you know the rules?

Stu: What rules?

Randy: Jesus Christ, You don't know the rules?!

Stu: Have an aneurysm why don't you!

Randy: There are certain rules you must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie.

Randy: For instance. #1 You can never have sex. Big no-no Big no-no.

Stu: I'd be a dead man.

Randy: Sex equals death okay?

Randy: #2 You can never drink or do drugs. No E sin factor. This is sin.

It's an extension of number 1.

Randy: #3 never ever under any circumstances do you ever say "I'll be right back" cause you won't be back.

Stu: I'm getting another beer you want one?

Randy: Yeah sure.

Stu: "I'll be right back!"

Randy: You push the laws and you end up dead. I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.

Gale: Um..boring.

Dewey: The sheriff just radioed. Somebody just reported a car in the bushes down the road.

Dewey: I'm Gonna go check it out.

Dewey: Would you care to join me?

Gale: I'd love to.

Gale: If your sure it's all right?

Dewey: Mam, I'm the deputy of this town.

Gale: Be right back.

Dewey: W - - excuse me mam.

Gale: Mhmm.

Dewey: I thought maybe we'd walk.

Dewey: It's such a nice night out. I got a flashlight.

Dewey: Your not scared are you?

Gale: No.

Gale: All right.

Dewey: Great.

Dewey: Do you know what that constellation is?

Gale: No, what is it?

Dewey: I don't know that's why I was asking you.

Boy #1: What happened to Tatum, Stu?

Stu: She probably got pissed at me and bailed.

Stu: No. I'm just kidding.

Randy: Look! Here comes the obligatory tit shot.

Boy #1 and #2: Yes! Oh! Beautiful! Lovely! Oh my god!

Girl #1: I'll leave you guys alone.

Billy: You are so amazing.

Randy: Hello?

Randy: Yeah?

Randy: Holy Shit!

Randy: No.

Randy: Listen up!

Randy: They found Principal Himbry dead. He was gutted and hung on the goal post in the football field.

Boys: What are we waiting for? Let's go before they pry him down. Where did he say he was? The football field.

Randy: Come on! Where you guys going?

Randy: We were just getting to the good part!

Boys: Whoo! Hi Ho Silver! Let's Go!

Gale: So, is Dewey your real name?

Dewey: No. It's Dwight.

Gale: Dwight?

Gale: I'm sorry.

Dewey: No it's all right.

Dewey: It's just something I got stuck with a long time ago.

Gale: Well, I like it. It's sexy.

Dewey: Sexy?

Gale: Mhmm.

Dewey: It's just this town's way of not taking me serious.

Gale: What about Gale Weathers? It sounds like I'm a meteorologist or something.

Gale: People treat me like I'm the anti-Christ of television journalism.

Dewey: I don't think your that bad.

Gale: No? I think that's just because you kinda like me.

Dewey: They are sure coming fast. SLOW DOWN!

Dewey: FREEZE! JUMP!

Dewey: I'm sorry are you okay?

Gale: Yeah.

Dewey: I'm sorry I'm on duty.

Gale: Is that what your looking for?

Dewey: My whole life.

Dewey: Damn.

Gale: What?

Gale: What is it?

Dewey: This is Neil Prescott's car.

Gale: Sidney's father?

Dewey: Yeah.

Dewey: Jesus, what's he doing here?

Dewey: We gotta get back.

Billy: You okay?

Sidney: Yeah, yeah I'm fine.

Sidney: Who'd you call?

Billy: What?

Sidney: Um..Well..when your arrested you are allowed a phone call. I was just curious who'd you call?

Billy: I called my dad.

Sidney: No, I saw Sheriff Burke call your dad. I saw him.

Billy: Yeah, but when I called there wasn't an answer.

Sidney: Huh?

Billy: You still don't think it's me do you?

Sidney: No No.

Sidney: I was just thinking if it was you it would be a clever way to throw me off track. You know to use your one phone call to call me so I wouldn't think it was

you. That is all.

Billy: Really?

Billy: What do I have to do to prove to you I am not a killer?

Sidney: Oh my god huh?

Sidney: Oh my god.

Billy: Sidney?

Sidney: Billy, watch out!

Billy: Ahhh! Ahhh! SID!

Sidney: No!

Sidney: Shit!

Sidney: Help me somebody help me.

The field

Sidney: HELP ME!

in the house

Randy: NO JAMIE WATCH OUT!

Randy: Watch out Jamie you know he's around.

Randy: You you know.

Randy: Look there he is I told you.

Randy: He's right around the corner.

Randy: J- J- Jamie look behind you, Jamie look behind you! Look behind you! Turn around, behind you! Behind you Jamie, Jamie turn around.

Randy: Oh god, Yeah

Sidney: Help me! Help me!

Sidney: Let me in!

Sidney: The killer's after me. He's in the house.

Kenny: Where wait!

Kenny: There's a camera in the house. Look! Behind you!

Kenny: Oh my god! No oh shit! Behind you kid!

Sidney: RANDY! Behind you. Look around!

Kenny: Shit!

Sidney: What?

Kenny: Were on a 30 second delay.

Kenny: Oh my god.

Kenny: Ahh!

Kenny: The door.

Sidney: Ahh!

Dewey: Is there a phone in the van?

Gale: Yeah.

Dewey: Lock yourself in it and call the sheriff for back up.

Dewey: Be careful!

Dewey: Neil?

Dewey: Mr. Prescott?

Gale: Shit!

Gale: Kenny, I need the cellular.

Gale: Kenny!

Gale: Kenny!

Gale: 9-1-1.

Randy: What's going on?

Randy: Ooh! Aah!

Gale: Oh god! Oh! Oh God! Kenny, I'm sorry but get the fuck off me windshield.

Sidney: STOP!

Sidney: Oh god!

Sidney: Dewey!

Sidney: Dewey!

Sidney: Dewey, where are you?

Sidney: Dewey?

Dewey: Sidney?

Sidney: Shit!

Radio: 7825 code 6 suspect at 105 N. Avenue 52.

Sidney: Hello! Help Me! I'm at Stu Macher's house on Turner Lane. It's 261 Turner Lane. Please he's gonna try and kill me.

Randy: SIDNEY! SIDNEY!

Randy: Jesus, we got to get the fuck out of here.

Sidney: Stop, right there!

Randy: Don't shoot, It's me. I found Tatum she's dead. I think Stu did it!

Stu: Don't listen to him Sidney!

Sidney: Stay back!

Randy: Stu did it!

Stu: He killed Billy. He killed my Tatum.

Stu: You did it. You killed my Tatum.

Randy: No, I didn't you lied.

Stu: Sidney, baby, please give me that gun. Give me that gun. Christ man.

Randy: No he did it, Sid. He did it. He did it Sidney. Please, I didn't do it, He did it Sidney. Please Sidney. NO!

Sidney: Fuck YOU BOTH!

Randy: No No SIDNEY! Open up he did it help me! He's going crazy Sidney.

Sidney: GO AWAY! leave me alone.

Billy: Sid?

Sidney: Billy?

Sidney: Oh B- B- Are you okay?

Sidney: Okay?

Sidney: I thought you were dead.

Billy: I'm like a stuck pig but, I am all right.

Billy: I'm okay.

Sidney: Your bleeding.

Sidney: Oh my god.

Billy: We got to get help.

Sidney: No he's out there.

Billy: Give me the gun. Give me the gun. It's okay.

Sidney: Careful.

Randy: Please. Help me!

Billy: Come in! Come in!

Randy: Stu's flipped out, he's gone mad!

Billy: We all go a little mad sometimes.

Sidney: No No BILLY!

Randy: OH Fuck!

Billy: Anthony Perkins, Psycho.

Billy: Mmm.

Billy: Corn syrup. The same stuff they used as pig's blood in Carrie.

Sidney: Stu.

Sidney: Help me please.

Stu: Surprise Sidney.

Sidney: No ooh!

Billy: Oh now Whoa!

Billy: What's the matter Sidney? It looks like you've seen a ghost.

Sidney: Why are you doing this?

Stu: It's all part of the game, Sidney.

Billy: It's called guess how I am going to die!

Sidney: Fuck YOU!

Billy: NO NO NO we already played that game remember you lost.

Stu: It's a fun game, Sidney. See we ask you a question you get it wrong bookah you die.

Billy: You get it right you die!

Sidney: Your crazy, both of you!

Stu: Actually we prefer the term "psychotic".

Sidney: You'll never get away with this.

Billy: OH NO?

Billy: Tell that to Cotton Weary. You wouldn't believe how easy he was to frame.

Stu: Watch a few movies, take a few notes, It was fun!

Sidney: NO!

Billy: Whoa!

Stu: Where you going?

Sidney: Why? Why did you kill my mother?

Billy: Why? Why!

Billy: You hear that Stu? I think she wants a motive.

Billy: I don't really believe in motives Sid.

Billy: Did Norman Bates have a motive?

Stu: NO!

Billy: Did they ever really decide why Hannibal Lector like to eat people?

Billy: I don't think so!

Billy: It's allot scarier when there is no motive Sid.

Billy: We did your mother a favor.

Billy: That woman was a slut-bag whore who flashed her shit all over town , like she was Sharon Stone or something. Yeah, we put her out of her misery.

Stu: Let's face it Sid, your mother was no Sharon Stone. hmm?

Billy: Is that motive enough for you?

Billy: How about this?

Billy: Your slut mother was fucking my father.

Billy: And she's the reason my mom moved out and abandoned me.

Billy: How's that for a motive?

Billy: Maternal abandonment causes serious deviant behavior. It certainly fucked you up. It caused you to have sex with a psychopath.

Stu: That's right you gave it up. Your no longer a virgin Ooh!

Stu: I said "virgin" Whoops!!

Stu: Now you got to die, those are the rules.

Billy: Let's pretend it's all one big scary movie. How do you think it's gonna end?

Stu: Oh! Oh! This is the greatest part you're gonna love this! Yeah your gonna love this one. It's a scream baby! Hold on a sec, I'll be right back!

Billy: You know what time it is, Sid? It's after midnight. It's your mom's anniversary. We killed her exactly one year ago today.

Stu: ATTENTION oh..look what we have behind door #3, Sidney.

Sidney: Daddy.

Billy: Whoa hold it.

Billy: That's enough.

Stu: Guess we won't be needing this anymore. uh-huh. And oh look at this ring-ring won't need this.

Billy: Got the ending figured out yet, Sid?

Stu: Come on Sid, You think about it now, huh? Your daddy's the chief suspect we cloned his cellular. Evidence is all right there baby!

Billy: What if your father snapped? Your mothers anniversary set him off and he went on a killing spree. Killing everyone.

Stu: Except for me and Billy we were left for dead.

Billy: And then he kills you and shots himself in the head. Perfect ending.

Stu: I thought of that.

Billy: Watch this.

Billy: Ready?

Stu: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, baby, Right, get it up, yeah, baby, get it up, hit it, good one man! Jesus! Oh shit, my turn!

Billy: Don't forget go to the side and don't go to deep.

Stu: Okay I'll remember.

Billy: Ahh! Fuck! Fuck! God damn Stu!

Stu: Sorry Billy I guess I got a little too zealous huh?

Billy: Give me the knife.

Stu: No.

Billy: Give me the knife! NOW!

Stu: You see Sid! Everybody dies but us. Everybody dies but us. We get to carry on and plan the sequel. Cause let's face t baby, cause these days you gotta have a

sequel.

Sidney: You sick fucks have seen to many movies!

Billy: Sid, don't blame the movies. The movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos more creative.

Stu: Oh stop it Billy, would you? All right? I can't take it anymore. I'm feeling a little woozy here!

Billy: All right, All right, get the gun and I'll untie pops. Okay?

Stu: Um uh - - Houston we have a problem here.

Billy: What?

Stu: The gun man, the gun I put it right here and it's not here.

Billy: Where the fuck is it?

Gale: Right here asshole.

Billy: Man, I thought she was dead!

Stu: She looked dead man! She still does!

Gale: I've got an ending for you. The reporter left for dead in the news van comes to. Stumbles on to you 2 dipshits. Finds the gun, foils your plan, and saves the

day.

Sidney: I like that ending.

Billy: I know something you don't.

Gale: Fuck No!

Stu: Yeah, Man, Yeah!

Billy: aw so sweet.

Billy: It works better without the safety on.

Billy: This is Gale Weathers signing off.

Stu: Baby your gonna love this!

Stu: Shit!

Billy: What!

Billy: Where are they?

Billy: Where are they?

Stu: I don't know but, I'm hurting man.

Billy: Fuck!

Stu: Shall I let the machine get it?

Billy: Hello?

Sidney: Are you alone in the house?

Billy: Bitch, you bitch, where the fuck are you?

Sidney: Not so fast I want to play a little game...It's called guess who just called the police and reported your sorry motherfucking ass.

Billy: Find her you dipshit get up!

Stu: I can't Billy. I think you cut me too deep. I think I'm dying here man.

Billy: Talk to her, Talk to her.

Stu: Hello?

Sidney: Ah, Stu, Stu, Stu, what's your motive? Billy's got one, the police are on their way. What are you going to tell them?

Stu: Peer pressure, I'm far too sensitive.

Billy: I'm going to rip you up you bitch, just like your fucking mother.

Sidney: You got to find me first you pansie-ass-momma's boy.

Billy: fuck

Stu: Fuck! Oh you fucker you hit me with the phone dick!

Billy: Fucker, where are you?

Billy: You Fuck!

Stu: Did you really call the police?

Sidney: You bet your sorry ass I did.

Stu: My mom and dad are going to be so mad at me.

Billy: Aaahh! Bitch! Aaaahhh! Aaaaaahhh! Aaaaahhhh!

Stu: Ooh! My arm!

Stu: I always had a thing for you Sid!

Stu: Bitch!

Sidney: In your dreams!

Randy: I'm sorry, it's all right.

Sidney: Oh my god Randy I thought you were dead!

Randy: I probably should be, I never thought I would be so happy to be a virgin.

Billy: Fucker!

Billy: Say hello to your mother!

Sidney: It's okay!

Gale: Guess I remembered the safety that time you bastard!

Randy: Careful.

Randy: This is the moment when the supposedly dead killer comes back to life for one last scare.

Sidney: Not in my movie.

Sidney: Dad. Sidney: Randy, help me out!

Dad: Ow! Aah!

Sidney: You okay?

Sidney: Are you okay?

Dad: Yeah.

Ambulance: Hang in there buddy?

Dewey: All right?

Dewey: Where's Gale?

Ambulance: Over here sorry kid.

Gale: Okay, I think it's gonna go something like this, Just stay with me. Hi this is Gale Weathers, with an exclusive eyewitness account of this amazing breaking

story. Several more local teens are dead....bringing to the end of the harrowing mystery of the mass killing that has terrified this peaceful community like the plot of

a some scary movie. It all began with a scream over 9-1-1 that ended in a bloodbath that has rocked the town of Woodsboro. All played out here in this peaceful

farmhouse far from crimes and the sirens of larger cities that its residents fled. Okay let's take it back to 1. Come on move it. This is my big shot. Let's go.

THE END