The One with HALLOWEEN! Opening: In Joeys apartment. Joey is hanging out with Chandler. They are drinking a couple of beers. Joey: You know what Chandler? Halloween is like in two days and we havent got any of our costumes yet! Chandler: Joey calm downyou dont need a costume anyway. Joey: (doesnt get Chandlers joke) Oh, your gonna buy me one? Thanks dude! Chandler: Thats NOT what I meant! I meant thatoh it doesnt need explaining Joe. Joey: (gets Chandlers last joke) Hey man, are you calling me ugly? Cos Im not, see? Dont say things like that to me. Itit hurts real bad! Chandler: Joey, be quiet. Joey: Okay. THEME TUNE Act 1: Phoebe and Rachel are watching cartoons on their telly, in their apartment. Pheebs: Mickey Mouse sure looks cute in that red-red trouser thing. Rach: You mean his shorts? Hes ALWAYS in them Pheebs. Pheebs: I know, but they look cleaner on our telly compared to Joeys telly. Rach: Thats because OUR tellys cleaNER! Pheebs: Oooohhhh. That explains why they looked like they were sparkling on Monicas telly! Rach: AnywayPheebs what are you cooking for dinner tonight, huh? Pheebs: Well, since its Halloween in two days, I thought WE could make some scary stuff to eat. Likeumpasta and noodles and French snail salads or something. Rach: ErFrench snail salads? That sounds pretty gross. Pheebs: Thats not for us to eat! No way! Its for the trick or treaters. I hate them guys. Rach: Why? Theyre only cute little kids who Pheebs: One of them killed my dog, cos I wouldnt give them any treats. Rach:are greedy little bastards! CUT TO Monica and Chandlers apartment. Only Chandlers there though. Chandler: Now how can I spice this place up a bit to give it some Halloween vibe? (Looks at the door) Ah, I KNOW! (He gets some sellotape and strings from Monicas sewing kit and he goes taping the string all over the door. Then after some minutes he looks at it) Nah, it doesnt look right. (Hes about to peel them all off, when Joey enters, singing). Joey: Hey dude(Joey gets caught in all these strings and tape and he looks angry and pulls a face at Chandler, but then) Cool Man! Let me do that AGAIN! Chandler looks pleased with his some-sort-of-the idea. CUT TO NY City roads, where you see Monica and Ross, Shopping for Halloween stuff. Monica: (passing a Halloween shop) Hey look at that! (She points to a witch costume). Ross: Yeah that would suit you. Mon: NO, silly! I was thinking about Chandler in that! Ross: You DO realise that your boyfriend isnt gay, right, Monica? Mon: I know, but hed look ever so sweet in that. Ross: Yeah, warts on nose, big, pointy hat, and a big black dress Oh and the reason that hes a MAN! Mon: Oh shut-up Ross! You havent even GOT a girlfriend, so stop giving me a hard time. Ross: As a matter of fact (he starts proudly) I do have a girlfriendsort of(He goes into a mumble)well my boss(even quieter)at work, if that even counts. Mon: You have a date with YOUR BOSS?! (Everyone in the street looks at her and Ross). Sorry. Ross: Wellshes uh-uh sort of Mon: STOP blubbering words. CUT TO: Phoebe and Rachels apartment. They are making some decorations for Halloween. Rachel: (holding her decoration up and its suppose to be a drawing of scat) Hey, do you like what Ive drawn? Pheebs: Course I do! Its ever such a nice piece of coal. Rach: Its NOT a coal- (Shes pretty upset). Pheebs: (tries to have another guess) A big, black grape thing? (Rachel looks at her crossly) OH, I KNOW!!! Its a picture of Mickey Mouse! Rach: Pheebs STOP guessing! Lets have a look at your drawing then! Pheebs: (She holds up her picture, which has a clown drawn onto it) Its a clown! Rach: Yeah, I kinda figured, but why a clown? Pheebs: Clowns scare kids! Them little rats wont come knocking on our door if this clown is on our door. Good idea isnt it? Rach: Okay, whatever Pheebs. Pheebs: Im gonna get some silly-string from Chandlers okay? Just in case them hooligans arent afraid of clowns, when they SHOULD BE anyway! Rach: Okay. Be back soon. Pheebs exits and we CUT to Monicas and Chandlers apartment. Chandler and Joey are messing about with taping the strings onto the door, when Phoebe enters. Pheebs: Hey (She gets caught in all the string) Hey! (She says in a totally different tone)-Why-why is all this string stuck to me! Help Chandler and Joey! Joey and Chandler smile at her, expecting her to smile back, but she obviously isnt going to. Pheebs: (Continues) Joey, get your arse over here and help get all this stupid string off me. (The two guys continue grinning at her) Hey(she gets an idea)do you two wanna be taped to my door to scare little kids away, for Halloween? Chan: Joe, help her outta there and Pheebs, no, were not gonna be taped to your door! Pheebs: Ill pay you 50 dollars each. Chan and Joey: Deal! BREAK Act 2. We see Monica and Ross in the shop, where we saw that witch costume. Mon: Hey(She puts on a gorilla mask)Look at me! Im Ross! Oh no waitmaybe I should get a dinosaur mask! Ross: (He grabs hold of a fairy mask) Oh hey (He mimics a baby voice) Look, Im Monica Fat Gellar and I have to be cleean ALL the bloody time! Monica: HaHa VERY funny! Cmon weve gotta find ourselves some costumes. Lets not mess about anymore, okay? Ross: Okay, I agreeOh-oh! FOUND ONE! (He grabs hold of Monica and swishes her round) Heres the best, ugly costume you could ever find in America! Monica: Evil (And she does that hand thing, where she smacks them together. That Ross and Monica secret giving the finger, without actually having to give it brother and sister thing). Ross just stares at her, evilly and gutted. CUT TO M&Cs- (ya know what that stands for!)-Apartment, where Chandler and Joey do their last decoration to the kitchen- (which looks pretty gothic and cool)-and Pheebs is just about to leave. Pheebs: Hey, so thanks for the silly-string, Chandler. Chandler: Its okay, but its taken you an hour and a half to get it! Pheebs: Oh-OH god! Rachel! (She exits in a hurry!) Joey: How does this look (Hes put a picture of a cute bunny rabbit, hanging down from the ceiling). Chandler: (being sarcastic) makes you wanna rip your head off and scream, Joe. Very scary! Joey: Is that what you actually wanna do? Dont you wanna stare at it all day long, considering its Monica naked? Chan: Thats NOT Monica naked! And WHY would you have a photo of Monica naked? Joey: Its not? (He looks up at it) ITS NOT! What happened to my sexy pic? Chan: Umplease add Of Chandlers girlfriend! Man, thats dirty and disgusting! Joey: Sorry dude, just thought itd be a nice favour or something, you know, to look up at the ceiling and see your girlfriend naked. Chan: (Being sarcastic again) I SEE why anyone would wanna do that! CUT TO Phoebe and Rachels apartment. Rachel is finishing some Halloween touches to the living room. Pheebs: (She enters all puffed out) I AM SOOO SORRY (She looks up and sees the living room with all kinds of stuff hanging down from the ceiling) I am NOT sorry! What have YOU DONE?! How could you? Rach: WHAT? Ive just finished the living room decorations off, which by the way looks great to my view, and your shouting at me for it? Pheebs: Its NOT that! Its-its just youve left me With nothing to do! Rach: Well-well-well-well you can COOK! Thats right, cook them Halloweeny foods! Pheebs: OH YEAH! Great idea Rachel! Your not that thick are you? (She looks up above her) Er Rachel, Rachel? Rach: Yeah? Pheebs: Why is there mistletoe above my head? Rach: Well, I thought, if the clown doesnt scare them kids off, then the thought of you kissing them might. Pheebs: Hey! Thats offensive! Rach: Sorry, but-but it still might work, eh? Pheebs: Yeah, I suppose so. CUT TO Chandler and Monicas apartment. Monica is entering, while Chandler is asleep on the settee and Joeys gone back to his apartment. Monica: Hi(Gets caught in all the tape and string) CHANDLER! EXPLANATION, NOW!!! Chandler: (wakes up, confused) Ohits only a dream- (He then goes back to sleep). CUT TO Phoebe and Rachels apartment. Joey is just entering. Phoebe is just behind the door and Rachel is in her bedroom. Joey: Phoebe- (She kisses him)-WOW! What the hell was that for? (She kisses him again!) Good on you! (And again) Phoebelover! (And again!) Phoebe: Rach, this mistletoe idea isnt working! I cant get rid of this kid! Rach: (She comes out of her room) No wonder, its Joey! (And she goes back into her room). Joey: Hey were still under the mistletoe thing, so how about another kiss? Pheebs: Sorry, but no can do, your breath smells bad anyway, so sorry. She leaves Joey hurt. END CREDITS: Ross is calling on for Phoebe and Rachel. Hes at the door and is about to knock when Chan: Arrrrhhh! Be scared be very scared! Joey: Its usclowns!!! Ross: (Cant recognise its Joey and Chandler, cos they have clown faces painted onto their faces) OH MY GOD!!! (He starts to runaway). Chandler: (Giggles) what a geek! Joey: God knows too! Rachel: (Coming out and sees them) OH MY GOD, PHEEBS! Chandler: (whispering to Joey) and theres another geek! Rachel: Chandler and Joey are on our door! What the hell? Chandler: I KNEW she wouldnt buy it! END!
Text file Source (historic): geocities.com/hollywood/set/4860
geocities.com/hollywood/setgeocities.com/hollywood
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