This is the same picture I have tacked to my Dartboard

Why I Hate Woody Allen.

When I was young, a name that always crossed my ear was the name of Woody Allen. His name was often followed by a statement of how hilarious he is and how ingenious he is in the comedy world. As I grew older the name and the reputation became synonymous with each other. So one evening I rented a Woody Allen movie. My first response was, "This crap is supposed to be funny?". My second response was "I payed two bucks to watch this crap?" Maybe it's just this movie, I thought, but no; every other Allen movie I watched were the same. Boring. And try as I might I could never find what was so hysterical about this little balding nerd. And then it hit me.

If something is sophisticated people will approve of it. Woody Allen humor is supposedly "Sophisticated Humor", in lamen's terms that means all he talks about is sex and he over-analyses everything. So it's just hilarious, because it examines important political and moral issues. Those moral issues get me all the time, just laugh my head off. To me, this is not comedy. They should invent another genre. One for all those stupid make-you-think comedies, that are just a scream, although after watching it you can't remember laughing or your last name. And, I admit, Sex can be funny at times, but not when you analyse it and then somehow make it funny. The more you drag on about one thing the funnier it gets, y'know.

I don't have a problem with Allen's directing or writing skills, just him personally. To me, he's just not funny. He's depressing and miserable, and I guess that is what makes him hilarous to people. If I want to laugh at somebody depressing and miserable I'll go find a mirror.

It makes me mad that everyone on the face of the earth has heard of Woody Allen. Because he's a comic genius, because he's a revolutionary, because he's a superb filmmaker, not because he is funny. And virtually no one has ever heard of Mel Brooks. In my opinion, the funniest person alive. Why? Because people think that since Woody's comedy comes from intellectual reasoning it's on another plane, it's sophsticated. While Mel's works are thought of as brain-dead, low-brow and just downright vulgar. But that's the whole point. I, personally, don't want to think if I'm watching a comedy. Isn't that the whole point? I mean, if you want to think go rent a tearjerker. I want to laugh. And Mel makes me laugh. Mel's work are brain-dead, they're low-brow, they're downright vulgar, and y'know what else, they're hilarious. The funniest of the funny.

If you were to run into Siskel and Ebert on the street and pose the question "What is the greatest comedy of all time?". They would say "Annie Hall". If you were to ask them if they laughed more in Annie Hall or Young Frankenstein they'd probably say "Young Frankenstein" much to their suprise. Then if you were ask them why they watched a comedy, they would say "To Laugh". And there, you would have ran logic circles around them. Even though, they would claim Annie Hall because they would want to appear intellectual. Then Ebert would probably sit on you and Siskel would beat the crap out of you with a shovel just for being a little smart-acre.

Luckily, we have Mel Brooks. Everybody is a closet Mel Brooks Fan, even though they'd hate to admit it. And nothing anybody can do, can change the fact that Mel has the funniest movies in the world, not even Woody Allen.