Jeppy



When I was about 13 I started going on trips to Fresno with some friends. One time I was in a hurry and couldn't find my pillow. So I took my sisters big ol teddy bear. I slept with him all week, and kind of got used to him. He was much easier to travel with then a big pillow and every time I'd go down there (almost weekly) I'd take him.

Sis at this time is like 8. The age of vulnerability & naivety. As expected, I get all attached to this bear. So one day I tell her I want to own him and being the sly one that I am, I told her that she can pick ANY 5 things of mine in trade for him. So I lay out all of these STUPID items in my room. Old makeup, Barbie’s with their heads/arms torn off, plastic jewelry from quarter machines, half used notepads.. Etc etc. To me, junk but to an 8 yr old…treasure! So she picks 5 things and the bear is mine...

To this day I still sleep with him. His name is Jeppy and he’d go with me EVERYWHERE. If I went to Frisco for the day I'd take him because I hated bridges and I'd bury my head in his neck as we drove over. If I were driving, he'd be buckled in next to me. Or on my lap buckled in with me if there's someone in the passenger seat. Or I'll buckle him in the back (People laugh, but here's my reasoning for that. That bear is SO special to me, and if I ever lost him I'd seriously be upset, as if I lost a best friend. So if I get in an accident, and he's not buckled and get's thrown from the car, who'll care? But if he's buckled in, and some cop or something, is helping me out, and he see’s a bear BUCKLED IN, they'll KNOW that he must be important and they'll save him too)

When I watch movies or T.V, he's on my lap. When I go ANYWHERE, he's there. I even pet him as if he were an animal or alive. I talk to him too, and yes, he talks back. Not verbally, but I definitely feel an “answer” in vibe form. A couple times I left him at home and actually felt like such a !#$%head. I felt like I had abandoned him and like he was mad at me. When I was living with a friend I’d call him frantic, saying “I FORGOT JEPPY. You HAVE to sleep with him!” And being the good friend that he was, and knowing how neurotic I was, he would oblige me after scolding me and saying “I CAN’T believe you forgot Jep!”

So one day I'm driving to Modesto from Sacramento, and it was just a quick trip for the day so I didn’t take him along. It's in the middle of rush hour and I'm looking at the carpool lane wishing I could drive in it. Then this thought came to me. Totally serious thought too:

"I wish Jeppy was here so I could drive in the carpool lane"

And that's when I knew that I needed to wean the bear slowly away. For me to actually think seriously that I could justify driving in the carpool lane with Jeppy, which requires 2 or more people, and it being OK was just crossing the line. So at that point I stopped taking him everywhere. I’d take him every other time. Of course I wouldn’t leave him without making sure he was in good hands. I also started to stop (?) sleeping with him. I usually sleep with him in a headlock, but I started just laying him next to me. Now I have Tommy. He’s my blanket, which I KNOW isn’t real like Jeppy so there’s no fear of getting attached & talking to HIM.

That would just be silly…

Elvis