CHUCKIE's JOKE CHUCKIE:You guys know my cousin Mikey Sullivan? ALL: Yeah CHUCKIE:Well you know how he loves animal,right?Anyway, last week he's drivin'home.. (laughs) ALL:What?Come on! CHUCKIE:I'm sorry,cause you know Mikey, the fuckin' guy loves animals, and this is the last person you'd want this to happen to. WILL:Chuckie, what the fuck happend? CHUCKIE:OK, he's drivin' along and this fuckin'cat jumps in front of his car, and so he hits the cat (CHUCKIE is really laughing now) MORGAN:That isn't funny CHUCKIE: and he's like,"Shit! Motherfucker!" And he looks in his rearview and sees this cat...I'm sorry.... BILLY:Fuckin' Chuckie! CHUCKIE:So he sees this cat tryin'to make it across the street, and it's not lookin' so good. WILL:It's walkin'pretty slow at this point. MORGAN:You guys are fuckin'sick. CHUCKIE:So Mikey's like,"Fuck, I gotta put this thing out of its misery." So he gets a hammer.... ALL:OH! CHUCKIE:...out of his tool box and starts chasin'the cat and starts whackin'it with the hammer. You know, tryin'to put the thing out of its misery. MORGAN:Jesus. CHUCKIE:And all the time he's apologizin'to the cat, goin' "I'm sorry."BANG!"i'm sorry." BANG! BILLY:Like it can understand. CHUCKIE:...And this Samoan guy comes runnin'out of his house and he's like, "What the fuck are you doing to my cat!?" Mikey's like,"I'm sorry" BANG BANG "I hit your cat with my truck, and I'm just trying to put it out of its misery" BANG BANG! And the cat dies. So Mikey's like, "Why don't you come look at the front of my truck."'Cause the other guy's all fuckin'flipped out about..... WILL:Watching his cat get brained CHUCKIE:Yeah, so he's like,"Check the front of my truck, I can prove I hit 'cause there's probably some blood or some thing"... WILL:....or a tail.... MORGAN:WILL! CHUCKIE:And so they go around to the front of his truck and there's another cat on the grille. ALL:NO!UGH! CHUCKIE"Is that unbelievable? He brained an innocent cat!Back to Quotes