Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie
here’s how this works: these are just quotes from Mystery Science Theater
3000: The Movie, because i haven't had the opportunity to see enough of the episodes [stupid cable!] to have my own quotes from those. anything in parenthesis is something an actual movie character
says. everything else is either said by crow, tom servo, or mike. if you haven’t seen the
movie, none of this will make sense to you. if you have seen the movie, i think
you’ll laugh. :o)
crow, you big dope, you can’t tunnel through space!
well, look at that: "Breach Hull"--even had it underlined!
i calculated the odds of this succeeding versus the odds i was doing something incredibly
stupid...and i went ahead anyway.
doesn’t the fact that it’s universal make it international?
who would build so far back on the lot?
(“remember me, would ya?”) i’m the wormy guy!
other people need to use this ladder, ya know.
hey! his legs are stickin’ out!
put the mens’ room in the tower--what was i thinking?!
well, suddenly i have a refreshing mint flavor!
this is a job for weenie man! into the weenie mobile--weenie man away!
G.I. Joe action set; nerdy joe not included
(“did web see it?” “unless he’s blind.” “check him.” “right.” “oh, and joe, until we find
out what happened, all of us are blind.”) i’ll go poke web’s eyes out.
inserting the breakfast pastry...it’s the secret government eggo project...start warming the
syrup...
increase the flash gordon noise and put more science stuff around.
(*door buzzer*) oh good, the script has finally arrived.
i don’t like you.
(“this isn’t paper. it’s some kind of metal.”) no sir, that’s paper.
(“here’s something my wife could use in the house”) a man?
(“i want to know what it is, what it does”) and if i can break it!
joe, i’m in one of the boxes! find me!
(“2486 parts”) *kcht* 485, sir.
(“ya know what my kids would say”) you’re not my real father!
okay, dr. goofy!
it’s the amazing technicolor cheese wedge!
(“it’s not impossible that a man of your scientific curiousity wouldn’t want to find out who
i am, where i come from”) if i have pants on
is this metal? i got a bet with joe.
are you boys cooking up there? no. are you making an interocitor? no!
mike broke the Hubble! mike broke the Hubble!
hey, it's a moth equipped with a lightning bug!
so the aliens live in Hooterville?
don't mention his head
(cal: "what is more important is--" exetor: "who we are, what we're doing here") why i have a picture of a hamburger on the wall...
i'm not an alien!
yeah, let's slip away under cover of afternoon in the biggest car in the county.
now it's time for the brack show! it's the brack show! starring me, i'm brack! it's the brack show, and i've got lots of good guests! da da da da da da da da!
(*cal looks around car*) so, professor, you made this entirely out of bamboo, huh?
why are they all sitting in the front?
(*car blows up*) and his coffin will be made entirely of coconuts
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