THE WORLD IS NOT ALRIGHT

A REFLECTION OF MIRAI TRUNKS

Written by the very “original” Vez Maniac and Holt-Rhenzai, authors of Showdown on the 13^th Green.

The air was hot, if I remember right, very hot. It always was with my  father, Vegeta. As our training progressed in the room of spirit and time, our relationship became less and less mental and more physical. We were training to become stronger than Cell, but it seemed that was more on my fathers mind than just training. I first suspected this at our first dinner together.

    “ So, boy,” my father said in his usual arrogant tone, “  how is the fresh salad? I just made it today, picked it fresh from my home garden this morning!”

    I just looked at him for a minute, glad as hell that he had taken off that tight white apron. I looked at the salad. “ Uh, fine, I guess father.” The leaves looked more like Marijuana than lettuce, so I just smiled and nodded and I picked it up with my chopsticks and stored it in my cheeks, and silently incinerated it with a small mouth ki beam. But it was useless, It still made enough smoke to give me a good buzz. I saw Vegeta slowly scoot over to me, and he put his hand on my leg and squeezed it firmly. I thought he was high, but than I realized his salad was untouched.

    Uh oh.

    “ Uh, dad, your hand is on my leg.” His hand was slipping upwards towards my lower area when he suddenly moved it away at my mention of it.

    Vegeta blushed, and recovered saying, “ I was just testing your nerves, your legs might give out in here, that’s all. Actually, you are looking kinda pale, maybe you should turn your head and cough.”

    “ No Way!” I was quick to state. Vegeta laughed and backed off.

    “ Okay, son. I understand. You have a vagina.”

    I just looked at him blankly. Yeah, that was the first time I ever bonded with my father.

    Mirai Trunks was sitting outside the ruins of capsule corp, thinking of what his life was for. He lived in a world gone wrong, even after the androids were destroyed, it was a world that was not alright. He remembered his first encounter with the androids, before he ever teamed up with Gohan.

    “ Hey, 18,” android 17 said to his sister. He had spotted me, I was hiding in rubble not far from where he was standing. I had gone to North City to see Yamcha, he had asked to come over, even though I told him I wanted nothing to do with his porno movies. I trembled as I saw his eyes cast upon my face. “ Look what we have here.  A kid survived.”

    The beautiful blonde android walked over to her brother. “ Yeah, should we have some fun with him.”

    I stepped out form behind the boulder, shaking. “ Leave me alone, I hate you!”

   “ Really.” Said an amused 17. “ That’s funny, we hate you too. Anyway, you don’t seem very fun, maybe a little spunky, you might be good in bed.”

   “ WHAT?” I said, very confused. Were they toying with me? Making fun of me? I knew I had no chance, so I pleaded for my life. “ Look, I take it back, you are gods to my family, I can show you a monument to you! We made it just for you! It’s an exact replica!”

    17 rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “ I see. Well, I still think you would be good in bed, but if you want me to see a picture of myself, I don’t see why not. You would be better sex than my sister, though.”

    18 just looked at him, with a ki ball in hand. “ Take it back, loser, Dr. Gero only gave you a 2 inch! You can’t satisfy me!”

    17 almost blushed, and 18 looked at me. “ But I bet he could.”

    I really blushed. I would fuck her right than and now if she wasn’t a cold blooded killer. Well, maybe I still would, but that was because all the girls I would be getting any from were dead or horribly mutated.

    And that was just nasty.

   “ Let’s just hurry up and see this shrine.” Said 17, flying off into the air. 18 smiled at went with him, saying:

    “ You lead the way, hottie.” I ignored that last comment and flew off in front of them.

    There really was a  statue made of android 17 a few miles away, I had seen it on my way to Yamcha’s house. I thought I saw Gohan by it, but it may have been my imagination. But when I saw it then, I shit myself.

     Instead of the valiant pose of 17 shooting a ki beam next to a mountain, there was a giant penis carved into the stone, it must have been three miles high. And where 17 used to be, a little pebble, molded into the shape of a penis. Under the little one, it said “17’s” and under the big one, “ Gohan’s” and under both of them, “ Gohan was here”

    “ This is what you want me to see?” said 17. “ It’s bigger than that!”

   “ By 3.72 whole millimeters.” Chuckled 18.

   “ Who is this Gohan?” asked 17.

   “ You remember that blondie you spared?” said 18.

   “ Only because he had a cute ass, I thought I would give him a few years though.”

   “ You androids are gay?” I worked up the nerve to ask.

   The looked at me evilly and smiled.

   “ Hell yes.” Said 18. “ How do you think we have our real fun. Renaming all of the towns is the best. 17 likes doing that.”

   “ Yeah, there are some great places.” He chuckled. “ Land of the Dick, Valley of the Penis. I will name this spot Mountain of the Johnson.”

   “ That’s wrong.” I said. But they were machines, I couldn’t really expect more from them.

    “ True.” Said 18. “ I prefer the Plateau of Putang Pie, and  the Breast Mesa.”

   “ Yeah!” said 17, “ Or the River of Ass, and  Cliff of Clitoris!”

   “ The Ding-Dong Delta! The Fag Field!”

   “ There’s the Pussy Peninsula and the Horny Hillside.”

  I decided to even join in on it. “ You could have Bitch Basin, or the Continent of Cunt.”

   “ Not bad, but how about Cum Canyon? Or Fuck Forest?” added 18.

   “ I like the Gay sex Glacier.” Said 17, with a smirk. “ but the Lesbo Lake you made with your ki beam 18 was pretty cool.”

   “ Yeah,” she said, “ Your pretty good at this kid, you could be one of us. Tell a few more.”

   Uh oh.

   I was in for it now, if I told a bad one, I was gone for sure, and 17 was already playing with himself. This world was getting more and more hopeless by the minute.

   “ Okay…” I said, thinking hard. “ You could have the Blowjob River Rapids.” The androids thought, than nodded.

  “ Fine.” Said 18, “ Go on.”

  I thought to myself, this next one had to be good, but I was running low on perverted words, I only learned a couple of Mr. Satan, a client of my mothers, I think they had an affair, but that was another story. “ Yeah, Okay, fine, I can make more. What about the Hoe Heaving Hussy Hassling Hick Humping Hoo-Hah-“

   “ Hill.” Finished 17. “ You are good. I like the long ones. Make a last effort and we will spare your life.”

   This was it. I had to make the longest, most perverted rhyming thing I ever spoke. “ You should name something the Semen Swallowing Gay Fucking Dick Sucking Whore Milking Cunt Licking Tit Juggling Fag Killing Bitch Smacking Whip Cracking Cyborg Jacking Deep Throating Vagina Pumping Volcano.” I bent over to catch my breath.

   The android’s jaws dropped. They were speechless, and than they broke into spontaneous applause

   “ Kudos, kid.” Said 18. “ You just saved your life.”

   “ I agree.” Said a monotone voice from behind them. We all turned to see a Tall, Ugly Man with a red Mohawk and Green Armor.

   “ Android 16?” asked 17, “ What the hell are you doing in this timeline.”

   “ Beats the shit out of me.” Said 16, once again with no expression. “ Where the Fuck is Goku?”

   “ Look 16,” said 18, “ You’re not supposed to be here. What next, Cell?”

   “ You called?” asked a short green monster from behind.” Are you ready for me to absorb you all?”

   “ Bullshit.” Said 17. “ You won’t put that over sized penis on me!”

   “ Damn Straight!” said 16, monotone still.

   “ More androids!” I screamed. “ Holy Fuck, this can’t be good!”

    Yeah, that was pretty bad, it was a tight spot, and it never really occurred, but it was still bad. I was on an even higher buzz than I thought. But unfortunately for me, it only went downhill from there.

    “ You three run!” said 16, “ I will fight Cell alone!”

   “ Okay.” They all said in Unison.

   “ Now Cell, prepare to die!”

   “ Yeah, Uh-huh. Right. Try this!” He stuck his tail in his neck, with no effect. “ What the fuck, that isn’t right. Where does this thing go? Oh, I know, Dr. Gero was always a little bit of a pervert.” He said laughingly. And he went on to stick his tail up 16’s ass. 16’s face was of pure shock, than a small smile went across his face.

   “ Ooh Yes.” Said 16 still in only one tone. “ That is the spot baby, hell yes. Harder.”

   “ Fuck yes, Bitch. Now it’s time to absorb you! Haaaah--- Owwwwwwwww! Fuck, your ass is made of steel, it’s stuck! Godammit!”

   “ No, don’t stop! Keep going!”

   I didn’t watch it after that, but I assume it only got worse, so I continued to fly with the androids. But as we reached Dr. Gero’s lab, we met up with Cell once again, without 16. I didn’t want to even guess at his fate.

    I decided to pull out my sword to beat Cell. I Think I got my sword from Tapion in Movie thirteen, but that took place after the Buu Saga, and so it really doesn’t make sense how I can get it if I am only at the Android Saga. Just than the sword disappeared from my hands.

   “ Damn Akira Toriyami! Why did you have to make the movie timelines make no sense??”

     I really should have watched my mouth, because right then the sky turned black, and out from the clouds came a bright golden light. I at first thought it was God come to save me, but it was not Kami. It was the true god, the creator. Akira Toriyami.

    The short Asian man looked my in the eyes. I bowed down before him.

    " Holy Akira, I quiver in your presence!"

     The Chinese man frowned deeply. " Mother Fucker."

     I looked up in surprise. Had my creator just implied that I had intercourse with my own mother? What the hell was going on? How did he know?

   " I am very disappointed in you Trunks. How dare you insult me you little shit?" He backed up into a fighting stance. " Get up and fight me asshole."

    I snorted out a laugh. He may have some power, but I was a Super Saiya-jin. I powered up.

He laughed at me. " Dumb fuck. Shimatta! Just because you can bleach you hair at will doesn't make you special." He drew out a long shaft to fight with. I didn't realize the power of this strange weapon until it was too late.

    I charged him, and flew at him with a ki beam. His strange staff absorbed it with ease.

   " You see, you should learn the power of the pencil."

   I took a few steps back. The pencil! What the hell was I up against! How could I stand up to the writing tool of the gods. I was really in over my head.

   " I'm sorry Lord Akira, please! Do whatever you want, just don't erase me!"

   Akira came over and kicked me in the face. " Okay, I deserved that." He did it again. And again. He kept kicking the shit out of me until my face was nothing more than a blob of swollen flesh and blood. " I don't know if I deserved that." I murmured.

   Akira took on a look of indignancy. " Fucking Bastard! How dare you. Now I must punish your friends. I hereby ban the androids from the Valley of the Penis and the Mountain of the Johnston!"

   17 raised a hand in objection. " NO, I MUST HAVE THE JOHNSTON!!!!" He came at Akira with his best. Akira waved his want and then turned 17 into a dildo the size of a marble.

    18 smiled and picked it up. " Not too bad, Akira. You doubled it!" She then took it over into Dr. Gero’s lab and disappeared. Now was my chance. I could go in and destroy her and the dildo formerly known as 17 while she was masturbating and the androids would be gone forever! I just had to get away from Akira!
    The short animator smiled with delight. “ You see, this is what you get for mocking my greatest creation, Dr. Slump! I mean, Dragonball Z!”
    I raised my hands in protest, “ NO, It isn’t me, you have to believe me, this is all the doing of Vez Maniac and Holt Rhenzai, I swear.”
    Akira stopped kicking me in my bruised lump of flesh that was my face and considered what I said. “ Really, those two bastards who wrote showdown on the thirteenth green? The ones who made Vegeta a Pokemon?”
    I looked at him with confused eyes. “ What the hell are you talking about? Father was a Pokemon?” I thought for a moment, it did explain why he had naked pictures of Ash Ketchum in his closet.
    But the man just shrugged and said to me in his poor English, “ Oh well, those guys sell me free hentai so it doesn’t matter.” And he continued to beat the living hell out of me.

    Yep, those were the days. Luckily my face did heal, Mom made a machine that performed plastic surgery instantly. Man, I wish I still had adventures like that. Watching 18 masturbate all the while battling it out with a short Chinese animator. But back to the story, how I defeated the androids and got away from Akira, or…what he told me that saved my existence.

    It was all I could do not to scream like a woman. Not because Akira was kicking my ass, but because Holt Rhenzai had sold me hentai for 100 dollars a page, and Akira got it free. Damn black market. As Akira started to get bored of the blood gushing from the wounds on my face, he suddenly stopped and took out his pencil.
    “ You know, Trunks,” said the animator, momentarily pausing from my brutal ass kicking, “ I don’t really know why everyone likes Dragonball Z so much. I drew it up when I was drunk and when you think about it, all the same stuff happens. I mean give me a Japanese fucking break here,” he changed his voice to imitate the narrator that I always here in my head, “ On the next episode of Dragonball Z, Frieza and cell and Buu join forces to defeat Goku and the rest of the Z squad…blah blah…scene change, Goku says ‘Oh hey guys, how’s it goin’? Let’s have a barbeque! Ha ha ha! Nothing bad is gonna happen today!’ than some gay ass character like Chiaotzu would say, “ Hey Goku you’re right nothing bad is gonna happen today! Right Krillin?’ than of course that little bald fag would pop in saying, “ Well yeah, cause I’m cool! Ha ha! Hey bro!’ than they all would burst out into spontaneous laughter for no apparent reason for a few minutes.”
    I thought he would end his mockery of our lives there, but the animator kept shoving the harsh realities of my existence down my throat. Why was he doing this? He created us!
   “ Than there would be a huge explosion and Goku would be all ‘ What’s going on?’ and than we change scenes to show a bad guy and he would be like ‘ Stupid humans walking around, I’ll destroy them all with my…..powerful hands haha!”
    The more he spoke, the more I realized he was not kidding. Was my life really this stupid? What was wrong with having powerful hands?
   “ You hear screaming like ‘Oh no, what’s that?’ and ‘ man he is so powerful!’ ‘he will kill us all, run!’ Fight fight fight, explosion here, curse word there, another explosion, throw in some blood, than ‘I think we need help!’ ‘No we have to fight! Let’s go to a place that’s completely desolate that would never be in real life at all and is huge and is a zillion miles wide and is nowhere to be found on Earth so people won’t get hurt and it’s…right over there!’ Boom, explosion, action fighting, than ‘there we have fought and I am very powerful,’ than the enemy counters with, ‘yes, you are very powerful but I am very powerful too’ than Goku says, ‘yes, we are both very powerful because we are very strong, but I am more powerful than you because I have a powerful power level of 1 million!’ than Cell or Buu or whoever the hell they are fighting says ‘No, you can’t beat us because we are very strong and we are really evil and bad and have a power level of 2 million and we are really strong.’ Than Goku smiles like a fucking idiot and says, ‘yeah well I have the power to go super Saiya-jin! Ahhhh!’ after ten minutes of constipational screaming things blow up, I scribble gold everywhere and call it a transformation, than Frieza would be all ‘Oh my god, a super Saiya-jin! I mean, Super Saiya-jin suck!’ than Krillin says a load of bullshit like ‘ Yeah, go Goku! You’re really strong and you can do it because you are a Super Saiya-jin! I would be out there too but I’m just a puny human. Whose balding…haha.’ Than boom! Blood! Curse word! Explosion and we kill Krillin off, but he comes back with the dragonballs, nobody stays dead in my series! Ha! Than Goku gets mad and says ‘well, now it looks like it’s just….like it’s just you….you and me! Yeah, you and me!’ than, ‘no way Goku you are very weak I will defeat you now ha ha!’ Than boom boom fight fight, pointless conversation, swap of bad jokes, boom fight blood curse, than ‘ Ha, I have defeated you Frieza!’ and Goku almost dies but doesn’t and than shows up again at the Kame house, ‘ hey guys! How is it goin? Wanna have a barbeque?’ and there it is I am a millionaire.”
    My life fell to pieces right than. It was all true. My life was nothing more than petty bullshit. The world was not alright, it never had been. It was just something for Akira to vent his anger out on when he found his wife cheating with the laundry man. Was Dr. Slump really better? No!! I refused to believe it! Why must I be in this anime!
    Than Akira pitied me and told me to go into the future. “ There,” he said, “ you can die and become a hero and come back here and fix everything that is so fucked up. Well, gotta go, I have another episode to make. Bird studios keeps begging me to make another series after you. ‘Dragonball GT would be so cool!’ they tell me. DBGT my ass, that Super Saiya-jin four stuff is bullshit. Well, good luck to you mother fucker. Goodbye.” And than Akira ascended into the heavens, and I walked home silently, with my face a distorted lump of bloody flesh. I got healed, and my mom made a time machine. It was there I got a chance to meet my gay father, who it turns out was a Pokemon, and come back and fix the world that was not alright.

    Yeah, that’s about it. The true story of my life. I think Akira summed it up better than I did, but when I was dubbed over to America they changed the TRUE story a lot. Damn Funimation. Goodbye, friends, Goku’s having a barbeque.

                                                                   THE END