Virtue Knight and Maximum Michael Gold are standing in Lars’s office. The two have been voted by the overwhelming majority of the fed to fight for the right to take place in the first ever Wrassle[dot]Net Bar Room Brawl. Both men are tough... intelligent... battle-hardened... intelligent (wait, I all ready said that)... But what Lars has in store for them throws all that out the window...
Virtue Knight:
So... We be fighting to go to a tavern? Fie! For I couldst goeth to a tavern without doing battle for it!Lars:
No, no... You’re not fighting to go to a tavern. You’re fighting to go to the Bar Room Brawl.Virtue Knight:
... Aye. Be not a bar also be known as a tavern? Or be this some strange regional dialect. Art thou speakingeth French?Lars:
No, I’m not speaking French! You’re not actually fighting to go to a bar, you’re fighting to go to a tournament called the “Bar Room Brawl!”Virtue Knight: Ah. So the winner of this tournament doth get free mead for life?
Lars:
No, that’s not what - Ah, screw it. Yes, that’s exactly what it means. Exactly.Maximum Michael Gold:
*thinking to self* Hehehe... This will be the easiest match I’ve ever won.Maximum Michael Gold:
So Lars, what’re the stips? Ladder match? Hardcore match? Is it in Hell like that one where Holy Evil beat Prototype?Lars:
No. And what an odd thing to bring up. This is something I came up with completely on my own.Virtue Knight:
Fie. Be we needing to go on a noble quest to prove our worth? Mayhaps we be going to slay Moors and gain more territory for this duchy!Maximum Michael Gold:
God, you’re a moron. Of course there won’t be any quest, it’s going to be a fi -Lars:
Actually, it is a “quest” in a way. This is certainly not going to be a traditional match in any sense of the word.Maximum Michael Gold: Oh.
Lars: There will be a cup hidden somewhere in either Soldier Field or Wrigley Field. The two of you will need to go find it. First person to get it wins.
Maximum Michael Gold:
That shouldn’t be too hard.Lars: But that’s not all. Before you guys can actually search through Wrigley Field, you need to do several tasks, in no particular order.
Virtue Knight:
Huzzah! For I be a noble crusader, well versed in slaying Moors and defeatingeth dragons! Didst I tell thee about when I was summoned by the King to slay a dragon that had eaten several knights, and I didst slayeth it? Twas a merry tale!Lars:
I’m sure it was. But you won’t be doing any killing in this... I hope. The two of you will be taken to Chicago, where you’ll get cards outlining the tasks you must perform. Good luck to both of you.At that, four large men walk into the room, club Gold and Virtue over the head, and drag them out of the room. Lars laughs evilly.
Lars:
Muhahahahaha. Imagine the ratings... Two guys dumped into the middle of Chicago with hidden cameras following them. I am a genius.