August 25, 2001
M-cat:
After a great meeting with the Collin County Democrats (who numbered about 50), Redcat and I picked up CatBoy and drove to the DFW Hyatt to get an up-close and personal look at the enemy during a get together we like to call FreeperFest (http://www.nf-ra.org/cinfo.htm).
We were expecting hordes of scary, well-organized Freepers, guards at the doors, having to pose as press or Freepers to get through the doors, but this was not the case. We were able to leisurely stroll through the Hyatt without any questioning and to see the Freepers who numbered about a dozen (not counting those "manning the booths") - and what booths they were - We learned that:
1. Global warming was b.s. (sounds like someone we know who's squatting in Big Al's house has been listening to them)
2. About the horrors of premarital sex (their brochure featuring a picture of Smirkboy - didn't know he "saved" himself for marriage) and featured 2 of my favorite items - the Secondary Virginity pamphlet and the sticker saying "pet your (picture of a dog) not your date" - guess they couldn't use a cat because of the unfortunate slang
3. Got bumperstickers from Free Republic assuring them "You're not alone" (although from the pathetic turn-out you could have fooled me)
4. Found out about the flat tax again with a picture of the White House Squatter - don't remember flat tax being one of his babies)
5. Found out that the government was throwing up roadblocks to the information superhighway
6. Discovered from the Anti-Choice folks (who gave out the lovely fetus decorated plastic bags and had some nice plastic fetuses on their table) that RU 486 is a "human pesticide"
7. Picked up several interesting brochures depicting lawyers, especially trial lawyers as sharks - can't wait to share those with the trial lawyers I know who voted Republican.
We also picked up 2 helpful items - a Pocket Guide on How to Lobby from Your Home and a CD Rom from the Heritage Foundation called Issues 2000 (although it was made in 3/01) - The Candidates Briefing Book.
We all had our photos made with the founder of Free Republic and his Ronald Reagan award to prove that we had "Freeped the Freepers", but I must admit when we left I felt pretty dirty and slimy - the best I can describe is like I'd been rolling around in Road Kill or playing with dead things. I felt like I needed a long scalding hot shower with strong soap to wash the "Freeper Stench" off me. I may even have to burn the clothes I was wearing.
I was glad to have gone, to have looked in the face of evil and survived and to have seen just how pathetic and delusional they all were, but it's not an experience I would like to go through again.
Redcat:
Well I did wimp out on Friday, no one would go with me! but we were there today! M-cat and catboy and of course me, the redcat. We showed right after the award crap. This thing was a complete freeper flop! There was like 12 people there that were not staff. They had all these tee-shirts and books and crap they meant to sell but couldn't. They were so desperate they loaded us up with all this free crap. We all got shirts and books and mouse pads! LOL! SUCKERS!!!! I wanted to get a picture of the free republic founder. So I just asked him for it! LOL. I even posed with his Ronny Raygun award! LOL. the stupid freeper didn't know who I was until we started laughing. hehe. Then they started acting odd! They didn't want to tell their leader though. LOL. He probably thought we were his greatest fans!!!! As we walked through the Hotel we spoke loudly trying the spread the rumor the last night's BBQ sauce had been Peed in by a democrat serving staff!! hehe, (Thanks for that one neuvocat) Pictures are coming! We freeped the freepers!!!! LOL They are weak!!! Also, dumb! We can kick their butts! PS we picked up all their training manuals! LOL Thanks you guys for the great ideas, very helpful. Redcat
Catboy:
A dull mini-convention of conservative nuts got a visit from Home of the Brave today at the sterile, yet expensive, DFW Airport Hyatt. We walked in unquestioned, took pictures and got tons of conservative propaganda and souvenirs to laugh at later.
Billed as a 'bootcamp for conservatives', the three-day event was hosted by the National Federation of Republican Assemblies and featured such right-wing 'luminaries' as Phyllis Schlafly and Dick Armey. Exhibitors included FreeRepublic.com, the Heritage Foundation and the Traditional Values Coalition. The themes of their literature ranged from how to be a better conservative (Effective Management Styles for Political Leaders) to aren’t those liberals amoral scum (Federal AIDS Dollars Fund Homosexual Proms and Fisting Seminars).
Other sample titles:
Homosexual Propaganda Campaign based on Hitler’s ‘Big Lie’ Technique (Traditional Values Coalition)
Bring the Conservative Revolution to Your Campus (scary)
Humanizing Campaign Mailers with Photographs (use lots of children)
The Trial Lawyer Class Action Scam (did you know that for the typical Texas household, civil justice reform has produced roughly $860 in annual total personal income’? where do they get this shit?)
The Welfare Bears of Yosemite (once upon a time, bears in Yosemite were content to work for a living...).
I was surprised that some of the exhibitors seemed willing to chat. Maybe because there was no one else there to talk to, and they were tired of stacking their literature oh-so neatly. Or maybe the smirk on my face made them think I was related to you-know-who. It would have been funnier if they hadn’t taken themselves so seriously. Unfortunately they do, so it was a good experience to see what they’re up to and to read some of the products of their twisted minds. It was also interesting to see so many signs supporting David Dewhurst for Lieutenant Governor (the most powerful office in Texas). These freeper freeks apparently love that guy.
Desperate for an audience at the sparsely attended affair, head freeper Jim Robinson - a dead ringer for Adolf Hitler - poses with known Democratic activists, including our very own Redcat!
(The cartoon of Al is a real classy touch, ain’t it?)
M-Cat gets the "Freeper Stench" posing with Jim Robinson and Raygun's head.!
Faith-based stupidity
Abstinence Clearinghouse advocates fun with animals
“Have a t-shirt...please.”
Redcat was tempted to knock the Raygun bust off its pedestal.
Hardly anyone was there.
The only people we saw who weren’t operating a booth.
Standing in the sweltering August heat, displaying our bounty, with shirt that says Global Warning - It’s not Happening! Catboy’s shopping bag says “I’m a child, not a choice” around drawing of embryo.
"cheers"
Home
Table of Contents
