I see your face

I taste the loss

Of you.

Every day,

Every hour,

Every second,

In the chambers

Of long ago forgotten

Memories that

Left imprints of a departed soul.

Long ago forgotten excuses,

And dictations came through

To unclosed eyes

That saw nothing at all.

Twisted images walk

With me in the glances

Of past lives,

Or rather

Convictions of

The friend I always was

And the friend

Who never saw.

Some friend!

And now you're gone

And I have a nightmare

Of scorning redness

Of the burn left

In a vacant soul.

Good bye

Dear friend of long ago

Somewhere, someone

Knows the truth of

Your secrets

Only I could never

Tell,

Of your image,

Your death,

And the unforgiven

Tale.

You waited patiently

For your way back

Home,

And kissed the ground

With your warm blood

That dripped,dripped,

Dripped,

From your neck

That an unknowing

Stranger

Slit, one slash!

Two slashes!

Perhaps even a third.

And there you left

Living,

Through the marks

Of your grave.

They found you the next day,

MURDERED!

Softly, not beaten

He preserved you in youth

And took nothing

Just blood,

Dripping, dripping

Dripping.

With a slash of a knife

Or maybe two.

And his mockingly sick

Joke

Is his solitude

To the fame

He quietly perceives.

He keeps to himself,

And to your ghost

That tap dances

In the core of my head.

TAP, TAP, TAP

Drip, drip, dripping

Through the veins

Of my heart.

TAP, TAP,TAP

A silent laughter

Of a joke still not seen.

I know him,

Somehow from a distant

Attack.

That has laid dormant

Among the cobwebs

Of unremembered

Memories of

The unforgiving grin.

I was his victim

After he had a good laugh

Of your bleeding neck,

Drip, drip, drip,

TAP, TAP, TAP!

He took me through violence

And I somehow escaped

Seeing my friend

Of long ago memories

Too little, too late.

A waste of nothing,

A waste to prevail,

Just silence,

Just silence!

No other words

Drip, drip, dripping

Go ahead.

Tap away.

I see your face

I taste the tears,

Of your existing mother,

That lives in regret,

No daughter,

No love,

Because of a stranger

I somehow escaped,

And I consoled all

With silence.

Unspoken words,

Unforgiven tauntings,

Of a stranger's laughter

And your daunting tapping.

Drip, drip, dripping.

It was Julie! She is gone!

NO! NO! NO! It was Julie?!

No grandchildren, mother

No more unending memoirs

No more!

All for the price

Of silence,

Of solace,

Of long ago

Forgotten memories.

Of a friend,

Like me.

Some friend,

Some friend!

Drip, drip, dripping,

A slash, maybe

Two, perhaps a third.

Tap, tap, tap!

Rest in peace

Old mistook friend

Tap on,

Tap on

For the friend

That conveniently

Forgot,

And now never wants

To forget

Or even remember.

In memory of Julie Lynn Feguson

copyright Wendy Torres 1995

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