Poems
by Victims of Domestic Violence
These poems were
written by survivors of domestic abuse. They reflect their fear,
pain, confusion, grief, and other emotions experienced as a result
of domestic violence. You are
welcome to submit your poems via E-mail.
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The Black Velvet
Glove
The
hardest to bear isn't the slap or the shove,
It's the sting of the
words, like a black velvet glove.
It tears at your soul and
your heart cracks in two,
What you've become is not
really you.
You know that you're good,
and you know that you're kind,
But you feel like you're
going out of your mind.
The look of disgust, the
names and the sneers,
Has this really been going
on all these years?
It started so small, just
a fight... some name calling,
You couldn't see the black
hole into which you were falling.
He took all your dignity,
who you were, and your pride,
In your shame and your
pain, all you could do was hide.
Hide the fact that the man
who promised you love,
Took it back and replaced
it with the black velvet glove.
By: "C"
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The Shelter of "Hope"
I sit here alone in this women's
shelter,
Right now my life feels so helter-skelter.
I have to be separated from the ones I
love,
So I look towards heaven, to the good
Lord above.
Right now things seem so dark and
bleak,
Peace and happiness are all that I
seek.
I don't like this feeling of living
in fear,
At times I break down and cry a river
of tears.
I think about my loved ones, from
whom I'm apart,
But they know how much I love them
with all my heart.
They tell me here that in time things
will get better,
For now, I'll put my thoughts in
poems and letters.
Right now I feel like I'm walking on
a long tight rope,
But believe me, I'm so thankful for
this shelter of "Hope".
By: "SM"
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Love hurts
Stranger in my
world of my dreams and realities
makes me full of desire, others become casualties.
Its you and me forever. You are the God of me
I try to please, be beautiful, make you see.
You said you would never leave,
It was a thought you couldn't conceive.
I hate you! Don't leave!
Why is there pain, where is the love I should receive?
So gentle and calm, I trusted you in my life.
You told me you loved me, I thought you cared,
I felt things my soul has never bared
Till the day you said you had to go away.
I was deleted, blacklisted from your day
Though I felt rejected, abandoned and misused
I learned that night that even he abused.
By: Kim Hoff
Copyright
2003
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No Fear
Your twisted mind, your endless schemes
Can't take away my life and dreams
Your control is gone I've won the game
Your calls and letters completely insane
The hate consumes you Your in a rage
did I upset you did I rattled your cage?
An old bitter man is what you've become
Trying to finish what has already been won
So go... turn around... there's nobody home
You are the laughing stalk of what you condone
the sickness in you is deep to the core
I am no longer weak lying on the floor
in your palace of evil where only you reside
I will not run, I will not hide,
So bring on the games, bring on the lies
I'm ready for you this time as you try to come near
Everything that I am today.
I HAVE NO FEAR!
By:
Diana
Copyright 2003
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After a While
After a while you learn the subtle
difference between holding a hand and sharing a life and you learn
that love doesn't mean possession and company doesn't mean security
and loneliness is universal.
And you learn that kisses aren't
contracts and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept your
defeats with your head up and your eyes open with the grace of a
woman not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your hope on
today as the future has a way of falling apart in mid-flight because
tomorrow's ground can be too uncertain for plans yet, each step
taken in a new direction creates a path toward the promise of a
brighter dawn.
And you learn that even sunshine
burns if you get too much so you plant your own garden and nourish
your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that love, true love,
always has joys and sorrows that seem every present, yet is never
quite the same becoming more than love and less than love...so
difficult to define.
And you learn that through it all you
really can endure that you really are strong that you do have value
and you learn and grow with every goodbye you learn.
By: Veronica Shoffstall
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If These Chains Break
I understand
not, how I can love you so much
Yet, hate you at the same
time.
Insecurity... Suspicions.
Trying to keep the swell
of tears from my eyes.
How deeply, your hard
looks and short-tempered words
Penetrate my heart.
So much, it feels as if it
will burst.
But it's wrapped tightly
with forgiving chains,
And your force keeps
picking the locks.
If these chains break...
I fear my heart will fall
to pieces.
By: "H"
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It Still Remains
All the pain still remains...
Locked up deep, deep inside,
Still Hurting,
Although its perpetrator is gone,
I had forgotten what happiness was.
By: "H"
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Healing
I met the
little girl inside of me today,
I brought her home with me
to stay,
To heal the wounds that go
so deep,
For they are forever mine
to keep.
And even though they'll
leave a scar,
I won't let my little girl
wander far,
Behind the walls inside of
me,
For light is all I want
her to see.
By: "H"
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Stop The Violence
Written in celebration of my freedom
and dedicated to a face from the past.
She was a shell
Empty and alone
Where could she go?
Who could she tell?
Was easier to stay
To accept defeat
Everyone told her
That's the way it should be.
They all looked away
and left her alone
they turned their heads
to any broken bones
They told her to be strong
for that was the plan
Her only goal
should be to please her man
She did her best
She gave it her all
When asked "What happened?"
She said
"Oh, Just a fall"
Years went by
she learned to adapt
she learned how not
to make him mad
She learned how to please
Just what to say
She learned to make sure
HE had a good day
Those looking on could not see?
Would not see?
The pain that was so deep inside of me
Was it easier to just look away?
Distance and time
closed for me
there was a hand that
could be reached
A hand with a face
from the past
A hand that only for a
short time would last
I held on to that hand
with all my might
I pulled myself up
I learned how to fight
A year has past
And now I see
just how wonderful
life should be
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Transitioning
Breathing Crying Slowly dying
Waiting as time ebbs and flows
Watching as the time goes
Despairing His uncaring
Despite my unerring
Attempts at sharing
Thinking Blinking Sinking
Breathing in and sighing
Wanting to say
And shying Away
Mumbling Stumbling Fumbling
Hearing his threats
I can't leave yet
Quietly talking
Gently rocking
Now weighing
Leaving or staying
Grasping Reaching
Trying to say
Who can I tell
Of this living hell?
Argh! Another threat
Can't leave... not yet
Hope is dying Silently crying
Knowing how this torture goes
How to survive here?
G-d only knows
Neither living ...nor dying
To my own self lying
Life and death defying
Bones chilling Tears spilling
Unwilling... yet
I'm afraid of his threat!
Soul bruising
From this abusing
Sifting and Drifting on
Pro vs. Con
Gradual decay Every day
Locked away Can't even pray
Passing years Growing fears
More and more threats
I desperately want to but
I can't leave... not yet!
Emotionally stilted
Drying and wilted
Racked with pain
Abuse is the stain
Hoping Groping Mist is lifting
Breezes wafting Softly lofting
Beat down by more threats
No, I can't leave... not yet
Listlessly wanting
Relief from this haunting
Living yet dying
Parched and drying
A living decay... Like yesterday
A friend demanding my staying
Accusing me of betraying
"You must stay for the child!
Thoughts of leaving are wild!"
(But with each choice to stay
It is me I betray)
I see my child suffer
I try to be a buffer
Fearing Time nearing
Eyes tearing Life shearing
Apart Opening my heart
To a new start
Away for one night
I prepare for a fight
Confusion at bay
I can no longer stay
I'm leaving today
Naked Honest Speechless
Painfully revealing
Anticipate healing
This is finally real
Now I know how I feel
Imperative showing
Everything slowing
Adrenaline flowing
Not even knowing
Where I am going
His voice is deriding but
I am finally deciding
To go into hiding
Away I am walking
To myself I am talking
Leaving Grieving Receiving
In support group I'm sitting
Reality is hitting
Quietly weeping
No home to be keeping
Where am I sleeping?
For shelters I am hunting
After each call
Moaning and grunting
I don't qualify
I don't understand why
I sit here and cry
It's me they won't pick
I'm the wrong demographic
"Mommy, I hate you
Why won't you stay?
I miss my daddy.
I didn't see him today!"
"Child, I'm now choosing
To leave this abusing
You don't like what I do!"
(But he's abusing you too
And each time I stay
You, too, I betray)
Safety desiring
Lawyer now hiring
Legal conspiring
Wearing and tiring
At the barrage he is firing
It is me he is stalking
To police I am talking
They can't help till he attacks me
Are they blind?... Can't they see?
Protection order ineffective
Leave me alone! Just let me live!
Energy spending
Now defending
Against unending
Accusations pending
But no longer pretending
Patiently waiting
Despite nerves grating
Divorce terms debating
Reeling Feeling Healing
Isolation spurning
To community returning
Heartbreak relieving
New life conceiving
Tender new growing
Intuitive knowing
Desires now showing
True needs revealing
Developing feeling
Something new trying
Fearfully sighing
But no longer lying
And now I'm not dying
New paths finding
Weaving and winding
Freely walking
Openly talking
Experiences sharing
Community caring
New life living
Generously giving
Things I'm now doing
Very renewing
Vividly seeing
Acutely being
Feels very freeing
Painting my world
With a palate of emotions
Big as the sky
Deep as the oceans
My hope for the future:
Reflecting and gazing Back
Life is amazing
There's nothing I lack.
By:
Stephanie Sahanow
Copyright 2002
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