Quick Rating:  0

 
 
I cannot believe how bad this movie is.  Yeouch.  I'm surprised I had never heard of it before.  But now it will most certainly stick in my memory.
 
Tor Johnson, who you might remember from many an Ed Wood film, stars as noted scientist Joseph Javorski.  Tor has top secret evidence of a successful moon landing by the Russians, and the KGB is after him.  In this action sequence, we first notice how horrible this film will be.  The auteur, Coleman Francis, decided not to record simultaneous sound with his moving pictures.  So, not one actor talks on screen.  Not once.  There is a narrator (and whoa boy does he have some doozy lines), and he keeps us informed of what's going on.  And then when any of the "actors" have a line, they are off camera, or have their backs to the camera, or they're far away.  And this one time, their torsos were on camera, but conveniently, their heads were out of the shot. 
 
There's a gunfight as the KGB agents are after Tor, and this leads to a car chase.  But these scenes are no-where near as action-packed as you would think.  You would get more excitement out of a watching a stranger's home movies of his kid squirting a water gun at a bush.  After the 30 mph car chase, there's another gun fight.  This time, the combatants are about 20 feet from each other, and they have trouble hitting their targets.  Some KGB agents they are.  And then Tor, who is no small man, walks away from them.  Walks away.  And they can't hit him.  He seems to have escaped from them... when...
 
"Yucca Flats"...  "The A-Bomb".
 
Thank you, mr. narrator, sir.  An atomic bomb is exploded in the area, and Tor is caught in the blast.  Does he die?  no.  Does he become mutated?  not really.  He just gets some scar tissue on his face, and now he's a prehistoric killing machine.
 
"Touch a button.  Things happen.  A scientist becomes a beast."
 
I couldn't sum it up better myself.  The movie tries to warn us of the dangers of nuclear weapons during the height of the Cold War.  Instead it warns us of the dangers of the movie theater.

So, what would a killer be without victims?  Enter a car.  Narrator, who are these people? 
 
"On vacation.  Man and Wife.  Unaware of scientific progress."
 
Oh.  Thanks.  Turns out, that's not all they're unaware of.  They both let a 300 pound scarred man attack them.
 
This gets the local police (who like to dress like cowboys, and enjoy parachuting) on his trail.  But they're not quick enough to stop him from harrassing a couple of kids.  Oh, another gem from the narrator, as we are introduced to these kids:  "Boys from the city. Not yet caught by the whirlwind of progress.  Feed soda pop to the thirsty pigs."
 
I can't even continue... this movie is so horrible.  The acting is pitiful (not that they have much to work with), and the editting is atrocious.  No good direction, the play of light and shadows obscures many scenes, there's no onscreen dialogue!  How the hell can you film a movie in the 60s without recording sound along with it?
 
And it all ends with a wild jack rabbit being kissed by a dying atomic mutation of a man.
 
 
Did you Notice?:  In the beginning scene, a young woman is strangled in her home by the beast.  However, in the rest of the movie, we follow the beast from his creation to his death.  When did this scene take place?
 
 




 
 

Quality: 0.5  Visuals: 1.0  Intensity: 1.0  Laughability: 2.0
OVERALL RATING: 1.1